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Thursday, December 31, 2009
A (Quick) Year in Review: 2009
Well that's it for 2009. Here's a video that recaps the big news of the year that my friend Kate (I'm such a FOG) has had as her gchat status for the past few days.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The Dream Team
One of my company's 2009 priorities was to focus our resources on the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Outside of this countdown, which was put up about two and a half months ago, it's hard to really tell what we've done.
(The scoreboard now features the flags of all 32 teams that qualified for the World Cup and about 8 different people have asked me why Ireland's flag is up there and I have to tell them that it's not Ireland's flag, it's the Ivory Coast's flag)
Although soccer is the most popular game in the world, it's probably only the 5th most popular sport in America. Our awareness of the soccer landscape, as a country, is virtually non existent. For example, try to name 4 MLS teams. Sure, whenever Team USA wins a match we take great pride in that, but for the most part it's a known fact that we can't really compete with the best of the best in the world. Why is this, you might ask. Well it's simple really. All of our best athletes play either basketball, football, or baseball whereas the best athletes in the rest of the world play soccer.
This got me thinking the other day (Christmas Eve) at work with that countdown practically staring me right in the face. What if 23 of our best athletes had focused all of their time, talent, and energy on playing soccer their entire lives? What would our national soccer team look like then? Before I proceed with our literal dream team I must first say that this idea was briefly tossed around by Kyle Korver (I think) in what has come to be known as TGETE (The Greatest Email Thread Ever) a few months ago.
Prospective 2010 US World Cup Soccer Team Roster
Starting Lineup (we run either the 3-3-4 or 2-4-4)
Left Striker- Chris Johnson (Titans RB)- Johnson might be the toughest sell on the team from an intelligence standpoint, but his speed and quickness are undeniable. Also, there has to be someone on the team with dreads, right?
Striker/Midfielder- Rajon Rondo (Celtics PG)- I strongly dislike Rondo, but I think that his size (6'1), quickness, and creativity would work well in soccer. Also, as ESPN.Com's Bill Simmons pointed out in what I consider to be the greatest article ever written, his name sort of sounds European.
Right Striker- Reggie Bush (Saints RB)- Reggie Bush just has immense natural ability. His speed, agility, and elusiveness are almost unparalleled. I have him in the starting lineup based purely on his raw talent, but I think I'd replace him with a sub in crunch time.
Left Midfielder- Brandon Jennings (Bucks PG)- Jennings is at his best with the ball in his hands. He has both great vision and creativity. He's left-handed (and I assume left-foot dominate as well, even though these players will be close to equally skilled with both feet). Lastly, he spent a year over in Italy (the 2006 World Cup Champions) and that's got to count for something.
Center Midfielder- Maurice Jones-Drew (Jaguars RB)- For my center midfielder I wanted a short, tough, bruiser who could carry the ball through traffic and get tough when needed to on the defensive end. I think MJD fits all the criteria extremely well. I've been told that this is a prime position for a captain, but Jones-Drew is most certainly not the captain of Team USA.
Right Midfielder- Chris Paul (Hornets PG)- Just imagine the kind of balls that Paul would send into the box. Throw in his speed, defensive intensity, and unselfishness and he makes for a perfect midfielder.
Left Back- Kobe Bryant (Lakers G)- Kobe, although born in Philadelphia, grew up in Italy and learned to speak Italian and Spanish fluently. He has also said that if his family didn't move back to America he would have tried to become a professional soccer player. He's been named to the NBA All Defensive First Team 7 times and has arguably the most unflappable work ethic of anyone in the world.
Center Back- LeBron James (Cavaliers F)- LeBron's combination of size (6'8 250) and speed would make him the best defenseman in the world. No doubt about it. No one would be able to out tough, out run, or out jump him. I think I'd run all of my set plays for him.
Center Back/Sweeper- Josh Smith (Hawks F)- This team is stacked with amazing athletes, but Smith might take the cake as the most freakish. Smith stands 6'9, weighs 240 pounds, and jumps higher than LeBron would if he were wearing PF Flyers. He has incredible length, recovery speed, and would win every header within a 30 foot radius. I feel like most of you won't know who Smith is, so do yourself a favor and watch this video to get a taste of what he is like.
Right Back- Dwyane Wade (Heat G)- D Wade has the toughness, quickness, and composure needed to excel as a defensemen. It's hard to believe that he'd probably be the weakest of the 4 defensemen (on paper), but he has shown the ability to thrive when surrounded by the best talent in the world before. It could be argued that he was the MVP of the Redeem Team with his energy and scoring off of the bench.
Goalie- Kevin Garnett (Celtics F)- KG is a lean 6'11 with a wingspan the size of a 747. His lateral quickness is off the charts. Him holding a soccer ball with his right hand would be like you holding a tennis ball with your right hand. KG is the perfect soccer goalie based on his physical attributes alone, but his intangibles are perhaps more impressive. I think KG is the fiercest competitor in the world. His drive is unmatched. His intensity is scary. He is an ideal vocal leader. Oh and by the way he excelled at soccer in high school and he's won the Defensive Player of the Year award in the NBA to go along with the 8 times that he's been on the All Defensive First Team. Ladies and Gentleman, the captain of your 2010 US Soccer Team.
Bench
Striker- Jonny Flynn (Timberwoolves PG)- Speed, charisma, and creativity.
Striker- Ty Lawson (Nuggets PG)- Lower body strength, vision, and toughness.
Striker/Midfielder- Carl Crawford (Rays LF)- Speed, speed, and speed.
Midfielder- DeSean Jackson (Eagles WR)- An ideal frame, explosive quickness, and a knack for making big plays.
Midfielder- Wes Welker (Patriots WR)- Your token white guy has great toughness and agility.
Midfielder- Steve Smith (Panthers WR)- Although he's not even The Real Steve Smith (he is), his speed, as ESPN's Kenny Mayne told us, is incendiary.
Defenseman- Charles Woodson (Packers CB)- A lockdown defender, crafty veteran, and team leader.
Defenseman- Torii Hunter (Angels CF)- Good size (6'2, 225), leaping ability, and a total character guy.
Defenseman- Shawn Marion (Mavericks F)- A hard nosed defender with great size and speed that doesn't bring the kind of baggage that a Ron Artest, etc. would.
Defenseman- Darrelle Revis (Jets CB)- He will shut down the best offensive weapon on any team.
Goalie- Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals WR)- Great hands, lateral quickness, and smarts.
Goalie- Dwight Howard (Magic C)- Has the same physical tools as Garnett, but needs to work on the intangibles.
(The scoreboard now features the flags of all 32 teams that qualified for the World Cup and about 8 different people have asked me why Ireland's flag is up there and I have to tell them that it's not Ireland's flag, it's the Ivory Coast's flag)
Although soccer is the most popular game in the world, it's probably only the 5th most popular sport in America. Our awareness of the soccer landscape, as a country, is virtually non existent. For example, try to name 4 MLS teams. Sure, whenever Team USA wins a match we take great pride in that, but for the most part it's a known fact that we can't really compete with the best of the best in the world. Why is this, you might ask. Well it's simple really. All of our best athletes play either basketball, football, or baseball whereas the best athletes in the rest of the world play soccer.
This got me thinking the other day (Christmas Eve) at work with that countdown practically staring me right in the face. What if 23 of our best athletes had focused all of their time, talent, and energy on playing soccer their entire lives? What would our national soccer team look like then? Before I proceed with our literal dream team I must first say that this idea was briefly tossed around by Kyle Korver (I think) in what has come to be known as TGETE (The Greatest Email Thread Ever) a few months ago.
Prospective 2010 US World Cup Soccer Team Roster
Starting Lineup (we run either the 3-3-4 or 2-4-4)
Left Striker- Chris Johnson (Titans RB)- Johnson might be the toughest sell on the team from an intelligence standpoint, but his speed and quickness are undeniable. Also, there has to be someone on the team with dreads, right?
Striker/Midfielder- Rajon Rondo (Celtics PG)- I strongly dislike Rondo, but I think that his size (6'1), quickness, and creativity would work well in soccer. Also, as ESPN.Com's Bill Simmons pointed out in what I consider to be the greatest article ever written, his name sort of sounds European.
Right Striker- Reggie Bush (Saints RB)- Reggie Bush just has immense natural ability. His speed, agility, and elusiveness are almost unparalleled. I have him in the starting lineup based purely on his raw talent, but I think I'd replace him with a sub in crunch time.
Left Midfielder- Brandon Jennings (Bucks PG)- Jennings is at his best with the ball in his hands. He has both great vision and creativity. He's left-handed (and I assume left-foot dominate as well, even though these players will be close to equally skilled with both feet). Lastly, he spent a year over in Italy (the 2006 World Cup Champions) and that's got to count for something.
Center Midfielder- Maurice Jones-Drew (Jaguars RB)- For my center midfielder I wanted a short, tough, bruiser who could carry the ball through traffic and get tough when needed to on the defensive end. I think MJD fits all the criteria extremely well. I've been told that this is a prime position for a captain, but Jones-Drew is most certainly not the captain of Team USA.
Right Midfielder- Chris Paul (Hornets PG)- Just imagine the kind of balls that Paul would send into the box. Throw in his speed, defensive intensity, and unselfishness and he makes for a perfect midfielder.
Left Back- Kobe Bryant (Lakers G)- Kobe, although born in Philadelphia, grew up in Italy and learned to speak Italian and Spanish fluently. He has also said that if his family didn't move back to America he would have tried to become a professional soccer player. He's been named to the NBA All Defensive First Team 7 times and has arguably the most unflappable work ethic of anyone in the world.
Center Back- LeBron James (Cavaliers F)- LeBron's combination of size (6'8 250) and speed would make him the best defenseman in the world. No doubt about it. No one would be able to out tough, out run, or out jump him. I think I'd run all of my set plays for him.
Center Back/Sweeper- Josh Smith (Hawks F)- This team is stacked with amazing athletes, but Smith might take the cake as the most freakish. Smith stands 6'9, weighs 240 pounds, and jumps higher than LeBron would if he were wearing PF Flyers. He has incredible length, recovery speed, and would win every header within a 30 foot radius. I feel like most of you won't know who Smith is, so do yourself a favor and watch this video to get a taste of what he is like.
Right Back- Dwyane Wade (Heat G)- D Wade has the toughness, quickness, and composure needed to excel as a defensemen. It's hard to believe that he'd probably be the weakest of the 4 defensemen (on paper), but he has shown the ability to thrive when surrounded by the best talent in the world before. It could be argued that he was the MVP of the Redeem Team with his energy and scoring off of the bench.
Goalie- Kevin Garnett (Celtics F)- KG is a lean 6'11 with a wingspan the size of a 747. His lateral quickness is off the charts. Him holding a soccer ball with his right hand would be like you holding a tennis ball with your right hand. KG is the perfect soccer goalie based on his physical attributes alone, but his intangibles are perhaps more impressive. I think KG is the fiercest competitor in the world. His drive is unmatched. His intensity is scary. He is an ideal vocal leader. Oh and by the way he excelled at soccer in high school and he's won the Defensive Player of the Year award in the NBA to go along with the 8 times that he's been on the All Defensive First Team. Ladies and Gentleman, the captain of your 2010 US Soccer Team.
Bench
Striker- Jonny Flynn (Timberwoolves PG)- Speed, charisma, and creativity.
Striker- Ty Lawson (Nuggets PG)- Lower body strength, vision, and toughness.
Striker/Midfielder- Carl Crawford (Rays LF)- Speed, speed, and speed.
Midfielder- DeSean Jackson (Eagles WR)- An ideal frame, explosive quickness, and a knack for making big plays.
Midfielder- Wes Welker (Patriots WR)- Your token white guy has great toughness and agility.
Midfielder- Steve Smith (Panthers WR)- Although he's not even The Real Steve Smith (he is), his speed, as ESPN's Kenny Mayne told us, is incendiary.
Defenseman- Charles Woodson (Packers CB)- A lockdown defender, crafty veteran, and team leader.
Defenseman- Torii Hunter (Angels CF)- Good size (6'2, 225), leaping ability, and a total character guy.
Defenseman- Shawn Marion (Mavericks F)- A hard nosed defender with great size and speed that doesn't bring the kind of baggage that a Ron Artest, etc. would.
Defenseman- Darrelle Revis (Jets CB)- He will shut down the best offensive weapon on any team.
Goalie- Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals WR)- Great hands, lateral quickness, and smarts.
Goalie- Dwight Howard (Magic C)- Has the same physical tools as Garnett, but needs to work on the intangibles.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Best of the Decade: Sports Moments
This week we look at the greatest sports moments of the decade. For this list I tried to think of some of the moments of the past decade that captured the human element of sports. What moments, or games, went beyond the field/arena?
I should also point out that because I am very passionate about sports my own personal leanings weighed heavily in the ranking process. Before we begin, here again is the criteria that was used to compile this list.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it? Was the movie/song/moment nominated for an Oscar/Grammy/ESPY?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
Bonus Write Up- Central Washington Softball Players carry opponent around the bases
Say what you will, but this was a really nice moment. This was a playoff game and that was the game winning run. The Central Washington Players could easily have said, “Rules are rules,” and not done a thing. A pinch runner would have been put at first base with the game tied and their season would have continued. Instead they realized that they had been beaten fair and square and that this was the right thing to do.
10.) Byron Leftwich carried by his offensive lineman at Marshall (2002)
Continuing right along with the carrying trend, Marshall QB Byron Leftwich broke his shin in a game against Akron (Fuck the Zips), but played through the pain and tried to spark a comeback with a little help from his friends.
The Thundering Herd came up short that day, but Leftwich earned national recognition for his gutsy performance. The image of his linemen carrying him downfield remains an indellible image in college football’s storied past.
9.) Derrick Fisher returns to Utah after his 11 month old daughter has successful eye surgery (2007)
In the 2007 Western Conference Semifinals the Utah Jazz faced the Golden State Warriors. Utah’s starting point guard Derrick Fisher missed Game 1 of the series because his 11-month old daughter had a rare form of eye cancer and was undergoing an emergency surgery and chemotherapy in New York City. It looked like he was going to miss Game 2 as well, but with the doctor’s permission he and his family flew back to Salt Lake City and arrived at the arena with the game already in progress. The Jazz, although they were playing at home, trailed much of the game, but got a huge emotional lift when Fisher entered the game with 3 minutes to play in the 3rd quarter.
After the season Fisher asked the Jazz to release him from his contract so that he could play in Los Angeles where his daughter would have access to the right kind of specialists for her condition. The Jazz, in a classy move, obliged.
8.) The Tiger Slam (I guess this term now has a new connotation) (2001)
In 2000-2001 Tiger Woods became the first golfer in the modern era of the Grand Slam (whatever that means) to be the holder of all four championship titles at the same time.
In the 2000 U.S. Open, Tiger won by an astounding 15 strokes, which broke the record for the largest margin of victory in a major championship. The previous record had stood since 1862. Sports Illustrated called it the greatest performance in golf history.
Tiger then went on to win the 2000 Open Championship at St. Andrews (the British Open) by 8 strokes. He finished at -19, which set a record for the lowest score under par at a major.
Up next was the 2000 PGA Championship which Tiger won in a 3 hole playoff against Bob May. Tiger was 7 under par on his last 12 holes of regulation.
Tiger completed the Slam with a two stroke victory over David Duval in the 2001 Masters. He was 16 under par for the tournament.
Admittedly this moment did not capture the human element of sports at all. In fact, it showed how dominant and almost unhumanlike Tiger was. That being said, this moment will probably be the most memorable from a historic perspective because of the dominance.
7.) Maurice Cheeks helps girl sing the national anthem (2003)
In a 2003 game between the Dallas Mavericks and the Portland Trail Blazers, Blazers head coach Maurice Cheeks came to the rescue as 13-year-old Natalie Gilbert forgot the words to the Star Spangled Banner.
Mo Cheeks may not have been that great of a coach, but he sure was a great guy.
6.) The Saints beat the Falcons in their first game in the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina (2006)
On Monday September 25th, 2006 the New Orleans Saints returned to the building that provided shelter for many of their fans after the unthinkable damage caused by Hurricane Katrina. There was, and probably still is, plenty of recovery work still to be done, but the Monday Night Football game brought a sense of normalcy that the city had been missing for quite some time. As you might imagine, it was a very emotional game influenced heavily by the home crowd. Looking back, the Falcons really didn’t stand much of a chance. On the fourth play from scrimmage the Saints blocked a Falcons punt and returned it for a touchdown. The final score was Saints 23, Falcons 3. After the game Falcons head coach Jim Mora Jr. said, “As hard as it is to lose this game, I'd be lying if I didn't say there was a little, little piece of me that really appreciated what this game meant to this city."
5.) The 2008 Olympic 4x100M Relay
Michael Phelps might have been the story of the 2008 Olympics for the United States (although I think the Redeem Team deserves some love), but without Jason Lezak he doesn’t break Mark Spitz’s record.
In case you forgot, when asked about the American team a few days before the race Frenchman Alain Bernard said, “The Americans? We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came here for.”
Suck it France.
4.) Red Sox come back from a 3-0 deficit and beat the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS
Down 3-0 in the series, The Red Sox trailed the Yankees 4-3 going into the bottom of the 9th in Game 4 and had to face Mariano Rivera, the best closer in the history of baseball. If you’re one for details, Mo had already pitched a scoreless 8th inning that night. Kevin Millar led off the inning with a walk. Immediately every Red Sox fan (and Yankee hater) knew that Dave Roberts was coming in to pinch run. After a few pick off attempts, Roberts stole second on a verrrrry close play. Bill Meuller then singled him home to tie the game and the Red Sox had new life. That stolen base was perhaps the single biggest momentum shift of the decade. The Red Sox went on to win Game 4 on a David Ortiz 2-run home run in the bottom of the 12th inning.
The Red Sox then did the unthinkable and won Games 5, 6 and 7 to become the first team in MLB history to win a series that they trailed 3-0 (2 NHL teams have done it, but no NBA teams have ever pulled it off). The winning didn’t stop there. The Sox then cruised to their first World Series Championship since 1918 by sweeping the St. Louis Cardinals in 4 games.
This comeback fulfilled the lifelong dreams of many diehard Irish Catholic drunks in Beantown that had grown accustomed to losing. The fact that it came against their bitter rivals made it that much sweeter. Although I forgot about it when I first compiled this list, this moment speaks volumes about hope, belief, and triumph.
I think the reason that I blocked this moment out (even though at the time I was in full Yankee hater mode, so I was rooting for the Red Sox) is because it was a part of a Boston run on championships in the 3 major sports.
3.) Syracuse wins the 2006 Big East Tournament
After losing 3 straight games to close the regular season Syracuse was squarely on the bubble at 19-10 heading into the Big East Tournament. Most people thought that they needed to win at least 2 games to even have a chance at making it into the NCAA Tournament as an at-large team. We pick it up on the first day of the tournament.
Wednesday March 8th- Down 73-71 to Cincinnati with 6.2 seconds left, Gerry McNamara hits a running 3-pointer to win it.
Thursday March 9th- Down 74-71 to #1 ranked Connecticut with 11.2 seconds left, McNamara hits a 3-pointer from about 27 feet away to send the game into overtime. The Orange win it in the extra frame by a score of 86-84.
Friday March 10th- Syracuse trails #23 ranked Georgetown by 15 at the half. McNamara leads a spirited comeback effort and hits a 3-pointer to bring the Orange to within 1 at 57-56 with 48 seconds to go in the game. After a Demetris Nichols steal, McNamara leads a 2 on 1 fastbreak and assists Eric Devendorf on the game winning layup with under 10 seconds to play. No team that had won a game in overtime in Big East Tournament history had gone on to win the next day.
Saturday March 11th- McNamara scores 14 points and dishes out 6 assists in Syracuse’s 65-61 win over #16 ranked Pittsburgh. No team had ever won the Big East Tournament by winning 4 straight games in 4 straight days. McNamara’s three 3-pointers give him a Big East Tournament record 16. He is the runaway choice for Tournament MVP.
2.) Syracuse wins the NCAA National Championship (2003)
Led by freshmen forward Carmelo Anthony and freshman guard Gerry McNamara, Syracuse beat Kansas 81-78 on April 7th, 2003 to claim the school’s first ever NCAA National Championship. Carmelo scored 20 points, grabbed 10 rebounds, and had 7 assists in the championship game and was named as the tournament’s Most Outstanding Player. McNamara hit six 3-pointers to spark the Orange in the first half, but it should be noted that he was held scoreless the rest of the way.
Sophomore forward Hakim Warrick sealed the win with this iconic block of Michael Lee’s 3-point attempt with 1.5 seconds to play.
In case you missed it, both of Warrick’s feet are in the lane when Lee catches the play. Also, during my illustrious 4-year career as a co-ed intramural volleyball player, I had my team warm up to each game by recreating this block. I would pretend to be Michael Lee in the corner and each of my teammates took their turn practicing their spikes by channeling their inner Warrick.
One of my favorite items of sports trivia to know is the starting lineup of NCAA Championship teams, so in case you were wondering, here was who the Orange put on the floor to start the game.
PG- Gerry McNamara
SG- Kueth Duany
SF- Carmelo Anthony
PF- Hakim Warrick
C- Craig Forth
Syracuse went 30-5 that year with losses at Pittsburgh, at UCONN, at Rutgers (everyone knows how tough it is to win at the RAC), and in the garden to Memphis to start the year and to UCONN in the Big East Tournament. That, of course, is the long way of saying that the ‘Cuse went undefeated in the Carrier Dome that season. Haven’t I told you that nobody, and I mean nobody comes into the Loud House and pushes us around?
1.) The Giants win Superbowl XLII (42 for those of you that don’t know your Roman Numerals) (2008)
Superbowl XLII was one for the ages. It pit the undefeated New England Patriots against a gritty New York Giants team that was seeking revenge. The two teams met in Week 17 of the regular season at Giants Stadium (a game that I attended in person). The Patriots were trying to become the first team in NFL history to go 16-0 in the regular season and because the Giants were already locked into the 5 seed of the NFC playoffs, it appeared like they wouldn’t provide much of a challenge. Giants head coach Tom Coughlin even said that he would most likely only play his starters for the first half. With the Giants leading the game 21-16 at the half their starters decided in the locker room that they wanted to keep playing. The game seesawed back and forth in the second half and the Patriots ultimately came out on top 38-35. Many credit this game, although it was a loss, as a huge momentum builder for the Giants.
The Giants went on to win 3 straight road games (@ Tampa Bay, @ Dallas, and @ Green Bay- Brett Favre’s last game as a Packer) to earn their shot at revenge against the Patriots in the Superbowl. The Patriots were so dominant that year that many prognosticators thought that they would steam roll the Giants in the big game. They argued that Patriots head coach Bill Bellichick would devise a plan to out scheme the Giants with two weeks to prepare for them.
As it turned out there was no schematic advantage. The Giants went toe to toe with the mighty Patriots and got the ball back trailing by 4 with 2:39 to play in the fourth quarter. Quarterback Eli Manning then engineered a 12 play 83 yard drive that culminated in a Plaxico Burress 13 yard TD reception.
The drive featured a 4th and 1 conversion in their own territory and perhaps the greatest play in Superbowl history on a 3rd and 5 from their own 44 yard line.
David Tyree…..From? Syracuse
The Patriots got the ball back with 29 seconds to play, but Tom Brady threw an incomplete pass on first down, was sacked by Jay Alford (the 5th NYG sack of the game) on second down, threw another incomplete pass on 3rd down, and turned the ball back over to the Giants on downs with an incomplete pass on 4th down.
The Giants lined up in victory formation with 1 second left and after Eli Manning took a knee they were Super Bowl Champions.
For the record, earlier in the week Plaxico Burress predicted that the G-Men would win the game 23-17. When told of this prediction Patriots QB Tom Brady scoffed and said, “"We're only going to score 17 points? Is Plax playing defense? I wish he had said 45-42 and gave us a little credit for scoring more points." The final score? Giants 17, Patriots 14.
Best of the rest
'00- Mike Jones tackles Kevin Dyson on the 1 yard as time expires in Superbowl XXXIV
'01- Diamondbacks beat Yankees in Game 7 of the World Series
'02- Brett Favre throws for 399 yards and 4 TDs a on MNF a day after his father dies
'05- Cancer survivor Lance Armstrong wins his 7th consecutive Tour de France
'06- Kobe Bryant scores 81 points against the Toronto Raptors, Vince Young leads Texas past USC in the BCS title game, 11 seed George Mason goes to the Final Four
'07- Boise State beats Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl, Joey Chestnut sets a new world record and brings the Mustard Belt back to America by eating 67 hot dogs and buns in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
'08- Jon Lester throws a no-hitter 21 months after being diagnosed with cancer
'09- Syracuse beats UCONN in 6 overtimes in the Big East Tournament, 59-year-old Tom Watson nearly wins the British Open
I should also point out that because I am very passionate about sports my own personal leanings weighed heavily in the ranking process. Before we begin, here again is the criteria that was used to compile this list.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it? Was the movie/song/moment nominated for an Oscar/Grammy/ESPY?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
Bonus Write Up- Central Washington Softball Players carry opponent around the bases
Say what you will, but this was a really nice moment. This was a playoff game and that was the game winning run. The Central Washington Players could easily have said, “Rules are rules,” and not done a thing. A pinch runner would have been put at first base with the game tied and their season would have continued. Instead they realized that they had been beaten fair and square and that this was the right thing to do.
10.) Byron Leftwich carried by his offensive lineman at Marshall (2002)
Continuing right along with the carrying trend, Marshall QB Byron Leftwich broke his shin in a game against Akron (Fuck the Zips), but played through the pain and tried to spark a comeback with a little help from his friends.
The Thundering Herd came up short that day, but Leftwich earned national recognition for his gutsy performance. The image of his linemen carrying him downfield remains an indellible image in college football’s storied past.
9.) Derrick Fisher returns to Utah after his 11 month old daughter has successful eye surgery (2007)
In the 2007 Western Conference Semifinals the Utah Jazz faced the Golden State Warriors. Utah’s starting point guard Derrick Fisher missed Game 1 of the series because his 11-month old daughter had a rare form of eye cancer and was undergoing an emergency surgery and chemotherapy in New York City. It looked like he was going to miss Game 2 as well, but with the doctor’s permission he and his family flew back to Salt Lake City and arrived at the arena with the game already in progress. The Jazz, although they were playing at home, trailed much of the game, but got a huge emotional lift when Fisher entered the game with 3 minutes to play in the 3rd quarter.
After the season Fisher asked the Jazz to release him from his contract so that he could play in Los Angeles where his daughter would have access to the right kind of specialists for her condition. The Jazz, in a classy move, obliged.
8.) The Tiger Slam (I guess this term now has a new connotation) (2001)
In 2000-2001 Tiger Woods became the first golfer in the modern era of the Grand Slam (whatever that means) to be the holder of all four championship titles at the same time.
In the 2000 U.S. Open, Tiger won by an astounding 15 strokes, which broke the record for the largest margin of victory in a major championship. The previous record had stood since 1862. Sports Illustrated called it the greatest performance in golf history.
Tiger then went on to win the 2000 Open Championship at St. Andrews (the British Open) by 8 strokes. He finished at -19, which set a record for the lowest score under par at a major.
Up next was the 2000 PGA Championship which Tiger won in a 3 hole playoff against Bob May. Tiger was 7 under par on his last 12 holes of regulation.
Tiger completed the Slam with a two stroke victory over David Duval in the 2001 Masters. He was 16 under par for the tournament.
Admittedly this moment did not capture the human element of sports at all. In fact, it showed how dominant and almost unhumanlike Tiger was. That being said, this moment will probably be the most memorable from a historic perspective because of the dominance.
7.) Maurice Cheeks helps girl sing the national anthem (2003)
In a 2003 game between the Dallas Mavericks and the Portland Trail Blazers, Blazers head coach Maurice Cheeks came to the rescue as 13-year-old Natalie Gilbert forgot the words to the Star Spangled Banner.
Mo Cheeks may not have been that great of a coach, but he sure was a great guy.
6.) The Saints beat the Falcons in their first game in the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina (2006)
On Monday September 25th, 2006 the New Orleans Saints returned to the building that provided shelter for many of their fans after the unthinkable damage caused by Hurricane Katrina. There was, and probably still is, plenty of recovery work still to be done, but the Monday Night Football game brought a sense of normalcy that the city had been missing for quite some time. As you might imagine, it was a very emotional game influenced heavily by the home crowd. Looking back, the Falcons really didn’t stand much of a chance. On the fourth play from scrimmage the Saints blocked a Falcons punt and returned it for a touchdown. The final score was Saints 23, Falcons 3. After the game Falcons head coach Jim Mora Jr. said, “As hard as it is to lose this game, I'd be lying if I didn't say there was a little, little piece of me that really appreciated what this game meant to this city."
5.) The 2008 Olympic 4x100M Relay
Michael Phelps might have been the story of the 2008 Olympics for the United States (although I think the Redeem Team deserves some love), but without Jason Lezak he doesn’t break Mark Spitz’s record.
In case you forgot, when asked about the American team a few days before the race Frenchman Alain Bernard said, “The Americans? We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came here for.”
Suck it France.
4.) Red Sox come back from a 3-0 deficit and beat the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS
Down 3-0 in the series, The Red Sox trailed the Yankees 4-3 going into the bottom of the 9th in Game 4 and had to face Mariano Rivera, the best closer in the history of baseball. If you’re one for details, Mo had already pitched a scoreless 8th inning that night. Kevin Millar led off the inning with a walk. Immediately every Red Sox fan (and Yankee hater) knew that Dave Roberts was coming in to pinch run. After a few pick off attempts, Roberts stole second on a verrrrry close play. Bill Meuller then singled him home to tie the game and the Red Sox had new life. That stolen base was perhaps the single biggest momentum shift of the decade. The Red Sox went on to win Game 4 on a David Ortiz 2-run home run in the bottom of the 12th inning.
The Red Sox then did the unthinkable and won Games 5, 6 and 7 to become the first team in MLB history to win a series that they trailed 3-0 (2 NHL teams have done it, but no NBA teams have ever pulled it off). The winning didn’t stop there. The Sox then cruised to their first World Series Championship since 1918 by sweeping the St. Louis Cardinals in 4 games.
This comeback fulfilled the lifelong dreams of many diehard Irish Catholic drunks in Beantown that had grown accustomed to losing. The fact that it came against their bitter rivals made it that much sweeter. Although I forgot about it when I first compiled this list, this moment speaks volumes about hope, belief, and triumph.
I think the reason that I blocked this moment out (even though at the time I was in full Yankee hater mode, so I was rooting for the Red Sox) is because it was a part of a Boston run on championships in the 3 major sports.
3.) Syracuse wins the 2006 Big East Tournament
After losing 3 straight games to close the regular season Syracuse was squarely on the bubble at 19-10 heading into the Big East Tournament. Most people thought that they needed to win at least 2 games to even have a chance at making it into the NCAA Tournament as an at-large team. We pick it up on the first day of the tournament.
Wednesday March 8th- Down 73-71 to Cincinnati with 6.2 seconds left, Gerry McNamara hits a running 3-pointer to win it.
Thursday March 9th- Down 74-71 to #1 ranked Connecticut with 11.2 seconds left, McNamara hits a 3-pointer from about 27 feet away to send the game into overtime. The Orange win it in the extra frame by a score of 86-84.
Friday March 10th- Syracuse trails #23 ranked Georgetown by 15 at the half. McNamara leads a spirited comeback effort and hits a 3-pointer to bring the Orange to within 1 at 57-56 with 48 seconds to go in the game. After a Demetris Nichols steal, McNamara leads a 2 on 1 fastbreak and assists Eric Devendorf on the game winning layup with under 10 seconds to play. No team that had won a game in overtime in Big East Tournament history had gone on to win the next day.
Saturday March 11th- McNamara scores 14 points and dishes out 6 assists in Syracuse’s 65-61 win over #16 ranked Pittsburgh. No team had ever won the Big East Tournament by winning 4 straight games in 4 straight days. McNamara’s three 3-pointers give him a Big East Tournament record 16. He is the runaway choice for Tournament MVP.
2.) Syracuse wins the NCAA National Championship (2003)
Led by freshmen forward Carmelo Anthony and freshman guard Gerry McNamara, Syracuse beat Kansas 81-78 on April 7th, 2003 to claim the school’s first ever NCAA National Championship. Carmelo scored 20 points, grabbed 10 rebounds, and had 7 assists in the championship game and was named as the tournament’s Most Outstanding Player. McNamara hit six 3-pointers to spark the Orange in the first half, but it should be noted that he was held scoreless the rest of the way.
Sophomore forward Hakim Warrick sealed the win with this iconic block of Michael Lee’s 3-point attempt with 1.5 seconds to play.
In case you missed it, both of Warrick’s feet are in the lane when Lee catches the play. Also, during my illustrious 4-year career as a co-ed intramural volleyball player, I had my team warm up to each game by recreating this block. I would pretend to be Michael Lee in the corner and each of my teammates took their turn practicing their spikes by channeling their inner Warrick.
One of my favorite items of sports trivia to know is the starting lineup of NCAA Championship teams, so in case you were wondering, here was who the Orange put on the floor to start the game.
PG- Gerry McNamara
SG- Kueth Duany
SF- Carmelo Anthony
PF- Hakim Warrick
C- Craig Forth
Syracuse went 30-5 that year with losses at Pittsburgh, at UCONN, at Rutgers (everyone knows how tough it is to win at the RAC), and in the garden to Memphis to start the year and to UCONN in the Big East Tournament. That, of course, is the long way of saying that the ‘Cuse went undefeated in the Carrier Dome that season. Haven’t I told you that nobody, and I mean nobody comes into the Loud House and pushes us around?
1.) The Giants win Superbowl XLII (42 for those of you that don’t know your Roman Numerals) (2008)
Superbowl XLII was one for the ages. It pit the undefeated New England Patriots against a gritty New York Giants team that was seeking revenge. The two teams met in Week 17 of the regular season at Giants Stadium (a game that I attended in person). The Patriots were trying to become the first team in NFL history to go 16-0 in the regular season and because the Giants were already locked into the 5 seed of the NFC playoffs, it appeared like they wouldn’t provide much of a challenge. Giants head coach Tom Coughlin even said that he would most likely only play his starters for the first half. With the Giants leading the game 21-16 at the half their starters decided in the locker room that they wanted to keep playing. The game seesawed back and forth in the second half and the Patriots ultimately came out on top 38-35. Many credit this game, although it was a loss, as a huge momentum builder for the Giants.
The Giants went on to win 3 straight road games (@ Tampa Bay, @ Dallas, and @ Green Bay- Brett Favre’s last game as a Packer) to earn their shot at revenge against the Patriots in the Superbowl. The Patriots were so dominant that year that many prognosticators thought that they would steam roll the Giants in the big game. They argued that Patriots head coach Bill Bellichick would devise a plan to out scheme the Giants with two weeks to prepare for them.
As it turned out there was no schematic advantage. The Giants went toe to toe with the mighty Patriots and got the ball back trailing by 4 with 2:39 to play in the fourth quarter. Quarterback Eli Manning then engineered a 12 play 83 yard drive that culminated in a Plaxico Burress 13 yard TD reception.
The drive featured a 4th and 1 conversion in their own territory and perhaps the greatest play in Superbowl history on a 3rd and 5 from their own 44 yard line.
David Tyree…..From? Syracuse
The Patriots got the ball back with 29 seconds to play, but Tom Brady threw an incomplete pass on first down, was sacked by Jay Alford (the 5th NYG sack of the game) on second down, threw another incomplete pass on 3rd down, and turned the ball back over to the Giants on downs with an incomplete pass on 4th down.
The Giants lined up in victory formation with 1 second left and after Eli Manning took a knee they were Super Bowl Champions.
For the record, earlier in the week Plaxico Burress predicted that the G-Men would win the game 23-17. When told of this prediction Patriots QB Tom Brady scoffed and said, “"We're only going to score 17 points? Is Plax playing defense? I wish he had said 45-42 and gave us a little credit for scoring more points." The final score? Giants 17, Patriots 14.
Best of the rest
'00- Mike Jones tackles Kevin Dyson on the 1 yard as time expires in Superbowl XXXIV
'01- Diamondbacks beat Yankees in Game 7 of the World Series
'02- Brett Favre throws for 399 yards and 4 TDs a on MNF a day after his father dies
'05- Cancer survivor Lance Armstrong wins his 7th consecutive Tour de France
'06- Kobe Bryant scores 81 points against the Toronto Raptors, Vince Young leads Texas past USC in the BCS title game, 11 seed George Mason goes to the Final Four
'07- Boise State beats Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl, Joey Chestnut sets a new world record and brings the Mustard Belt back to America by eating 67 hot dogs and buns in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
'08- Jon Lester throws a no-hitter 21 months after being diagnosed with cancer
'09- Syracuse beats UCONN in 6 overtimes in the Big East Tournament, 59-year-old Tom Watson nearly wins the British Open
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Best of the Decade: Comedies
After I unveiled my highly anticipated "Top 10 Movies of the Decade" a few of my loyal readers were taken aback. "Whoa, Stan Man, no comedies?" they said. Well, obviously I already had this post in mind, but it's rare that a comedy cracks a list of best movies. Now yes, sometimes a comedy can also be a very good movie (and potentially worthy of critical acclaim), but in most cases it get's labeled as one or the other soon after it is released.
So onto the list. As a reminder, here is the criteria that went into the decision process.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it? Was the movie/song/moment nominated for an Oscar/Grammy/ESPY?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
When it comes to comedies, there are no overriding opinions that matter more than say yours or mine. Comedies rarely win or even get nominated for awards, so the second part of my criteria was virtually out the window on this one. Naturally this means that this list may be the most disputed and this is actually something that I anticipate. Comedies are very personal and subjective.
10.) Zoolander (2001)
Whether it was high school or college I was never a fan of student senate. I thought the entire thing was dumb, although my friends and I all attempted to run in 9th or 10th grade, but we were not allowed too. Apparently they gave the entire faculty veto power. If any faculty member didn't approve of someone running they could just disallow it from happening. Now it probably wasn't that cut and dry, but that's what it amounted to. I was also falsely accused of tearing down a girl's campaign signs in 8th grade. Ironically enough, her father is now a county legislator just like mine.
That all being said, during my freshmen year of college an entire slew of kids ran for student senate, perhaps already looking for a way to boost their resumes. A kid on my floor ran and only got about 4 votes, but we still proceeded to call him "Senator Dan" for the rest of the year. I tell you all of this because the only person that I remember voting for was a kid who's last name is Hansel. He put up a bunch of signs around the dorms that said, "That Hansel is so hot right now," and he immediately had my vote.
Voting strictly on a name is something that I still do today. If I don't know anything about the candidates, I usally vote for the person who's name I like the best. Some people vote by party, I vote by name. Someone must have done a study on something like this, right?
Most Memorable Lines:
Derek Zoolander: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.
Derek Zoolander: If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.
Hansel: Excuse me, bra.
Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra!
Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?
Derek Zoolander: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".
Mugatu: They’re the same face. Doesn’t anyone notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. I invented the piano key necktie. I invented it!
Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?
Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...
Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The center has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
9.) Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
This off beat, unconventional comedy took the nation by surprise back in 2004. It was such a change of pace that people fell in love with it. I personally enjoyed it when I first saw it, but I question whether or not it has rewatchability. To be honest, I think it was probably just a flash in the pan. There's no doubt that it has cultural relativity (and that's why it made the list), but Jon Heder should seriously think about a new career path because he will never outgrow the character of Napoleon Dynamite. I think I can say that I will never, ever see another movie that he stars in (as a #1 or a #2).
Most Memorable Lines:
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
Rex: Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, nobody's going to go out with me.
Pedro: Have you asked anybody yet?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.
Pedro: What do you mean?
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
Pedro: Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes... probably the best that I know of.
Pedro: Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something.
Napoleon Dynamite: That's a pretty good idea.
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow staff.
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.
Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
Kip: Are you serious?
Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious.
8.) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
This is the first of 4 films on this list that star Vince Vaughn. I don't think there's any doubt that he's the best comedic actor of the decade, right? What I think is so great about Vince Vaughn is that no matter what role he plays (and there is quite a bit of variance) it always seems like that's exactly how he'd act in real life.
Other Memorable Lines:
Peter La Fleur: You're adopted! Your parents don't even love you!
White Goodman: Ball me Blazer.
White Goodman: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
White Goodman: We should mate.
Kate Veatch: What?
White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it.
White Goodman: Are you okay?
Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I've never been there, but I read about it... in a book.
White Goodman: Hello, Katherine. Good to see you. I didn't know you were dropping by.
Kate Veatch: You asked me to come over.
White Goodman: Did I?
Kate Veatch: Are you reading the dictionary?
White Goodman: You caught me. I like to break a mental sweat too.
Kate Veatch: That... is a really interesting painting.
White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor.
Kate Veatch: I get it.
White Goodman: But that actually happened, though.
White Goodman: So, please, whatever you do, don't think of me as your boss.
Kate Veatch: I don't.
White Goodman: I don't want to get into a formal thing. I'm White, you know.
W-h-i-t…………E.
Kate Veatch: Thanks, Mr Goodman, but I don’t work for you. I'm contracted by the bank. They just assigned me to your account.
White Goodman: Right, well. You work for the bank. The bank works for me, so ipso fact, I'm your boss. Point is, I would love to see your pretty little bone structure around here some more. There's no reason we need to be shackled by the structures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back…..I'm just kidding. ….But seriously, I've got 'em.
Cotton McKnight: Hello, everybody, and welcome to this year's Las Vegas International Dodgeball Open brought to you exclusively here on ESPN8- the "Ocho".
Cotton McKnight: Yes, I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.
Pepper Brooks: It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.
7.) The Break Up (2006)
This is my darkhorse pick on the list. I think The Break Up was a very underrated movie that people don't talk about enough. Some people think of it as a date movie/romantic comedy, but it's packed with some of Vince Vaughn's best lines. Is Jennifer Aniston funny? No, not really, but she's hot.
Other Memorable Lines:
Gary: What kind of bullshit move was that?
Brooke: I'm sorry, what? What happened?
Gary: Oh don't be coy with me. You sent that animal over here to attack me when I was hung over and weak.
Brooke: Oh no. Look, all I know is The Tone Rangers they needed some place to rehearse so I very clearly told Richard, "Stay in my room," which you explained to me was my space to do with what I want.
Gary: Is that how you want to play it? Cause I'll play it like that. I'll play it like Lionel Richie, all night long, lady. Oh yeah. I'll call some guys from my neck of the woods. And we're not talking about, Brooke, about a couple of queens who know a few grapples. We're talking about Polacks that don't have a goddamn future. That's right. We can make shit real uncomfortable around here, and that's what we're going to do.
Brooke: Please, come on. You know what, you're just embarrassed because Richard kicked your ass.
Gary: Richard did not kick my ass. What Richard did was attack me when I was half asleep.
Brooke: Really, is that how you see it?
Gary: There's a really big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you're in a fight. But I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower.
Gary: "Band of Brothers"... you should rent it sometime
6.) Meet the Parents (2000)
The third and final Ben Stiller film on this list was a hit from the get go. Meet the Parents was well received because it's humor applied to just about everyone from the ages of 15-65. What I think the movie was great at was relying on awkwardness to engineer many of the laughs. I believe that this technique, or brand of humor if you will, has been fine tuned and well executed recently by Paul Rudd.
Most Memorable Lines:
Linda: How’s your portfolio?
Greg Focker: I’d say strong…to quite strong.
Jack Byrnes: Greg's a male nurse.
Greg Focker: Yes. Thank you, Jack.
Kevin: Wow, that's great. I'd love to find time to do some volunteer work. Just the other day I saw a golden retriever, he had like a gimp, ya know I just wish I could have done something.
Greg Focker: Yeah, well I get paid too so it's sort of an everyone wins thing.
[in the car listening to "Puff the Magic Dragon"]
Greg Focker: Who'd have thought it wasn't about a dragon.
Jack Byrnes: Huh?
Greg Focker: Well some people think that 'to puff the magic dragon' means to... puff... smoke... a marijuana cigarette.
Jack Byrnes: Puff is just the name of the boy's magical dragon... You a pothead, Focker?
Greg Focker: No, I pass on grass always. Well not always.
Jack Byrnes: Yes or no?
Greg Focker: No, um, yes, um...
Greg Focker: Oh, dear God, thank you, you are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating God, and we thank You oh sweet, sweet Lord of hosts for the smörgåsbord You have so aptly laid at our table this day, and each day, by day, day by day, by day oh dear Lord three things we pray to love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more clearly, to follow Thee more nearly, day, by day, by day. Amen.
Greg Focker: Yeah, you can milk anything that has nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples Greg, could you milk me?
Jack Byrnes: We’re getting creamed.
Larry: Well if Florence Nightengale would play a little defense here.
Greg Focker: Larry, I missed one shot.
Larry: It was a big shot!
Jack Byrnes: What the hell's the matter with you? It's only a game, Focker!
5.) Superbad (2007)
Every decade has a comedy about high school seniors that want to prepare themselves for college (usually sexually). The 80's had Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the 90's had American Pie, and the 00's had Superbad. Right now, it's too early to tell if Superbad will stack up with others in terms of cultural relativity, but it was definitely outlandishly funny. If I had to guess, I'd say that the movie doesn't matter as much in the grand scheme of things as the others, but that the character of Fogell is not forgotten (although he will probably best be remembered as McLovin).
Other Memorable Lines:
Seth: I joined this class because I thought I was going to be cooking with a partner. But she's never here, and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work.
Teacher: I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth.
Seth: I know, but look at Evan. Just look at him.
Seth: I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing.
Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.
Greg: What the fuck Evan we're down two points!
Seth: Fuckin' calm down Greg, it's soccer, it's soccer.
Greg: Fuck you man.
Seth: Hey Greg, why don't you go piss your pants?
Greg: That was like 8 years ago, asshole!
Seth: People don't forget!
Seth: You know when you hear girls saying like 'ahh I was so shit faced last night I shouldn't have fucked that guy,' we could be that mistake!
Seth: Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam.
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.
Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.
Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name!
Fogell: Fuck you.
Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back problems, man.
Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin?
Fogell: Old enough.
Officer Michaels: Old enough for what?
Fogell: To party.
Becca: I'm so wet right now.
Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in health class.
4.) The Hangover (2009)
Don't ask me why, but whenever I watch a movie set in the present day I'm always super critical if things happen that are totally outside the realm of possibility (unless I know going in that the movie is about a superhero/time travel/etc). This movie was so over the top funny that I instantly forgave it for all of the ridiculous things that happened in terms of the plot. For example, if this was any other movie (a bit of a spoiler alert here) the scene where they are released from the police station after getting stunned a few times would have bothered me beyond belief. I also saw this movie a month or two after most of my friends had, so I went in with high expectations and it still delivered. Like most great comedies, this is a film that will get funnier and funnier the more you watch it.
Other Memorable Lines:
Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: Listen, we fucked up. We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.
Alan Garner: Did you have to park so close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong?
Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Alan Garner: You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!
Alan Garner: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system.
Stu Price: It's also illegal.
Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like... masturbating on an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
Alan Garner: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.
Doug Billings: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay?
Alan Garner: Oh really?
Doug Billings: It's not easy.
Alan Garner: Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ruh-tard.
Stu Price: A what?
Alan Garner: He was a ruh-tard.
Black Doug: I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em floories.
Alan Garner: Or rapies.
3.) Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2007)
When I first saw a preview for this movie I wasn't all that excited about it. When it came out in theaters I chose to see Beerfest (2007) instead. When I first saw the movie I thought it was funny, but nothing special. Then, as I've mentioned before, it was on DirecTV virtually every day of my senior year of college. My housemates and I watched it countless times and it just kept getting better and better. Eventually I thought I'd get sick of it, but I continued to laugh at new lines each time. The combination of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly is unbelievable, although I wasn't a big fan of Step Brothers (2008).
Other Memorable Lines:
Ricky Bobby: If you ain't first, you're last.
Ricky Bobby: Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Jean Girard: My name is Jean Girard and I am a racing-car driver just like you except I am from Formula Un. I am the greatest one in the whole world. I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
Ricky Bobby: I can't understand a word you've said the whole time.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did you eat some peanut butter or something?
Ricky Bobby: Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth
Jean Girard: I think what you are hearing is my accent. I am French.
Ricky Bobby: You say you're French?
Jean Girard: Oui.
Ricky Bobby: We? No, we are not French. We're American, because you're in America, okay? Greatest country on the planet
Jean Girard: Well, what have you given the world apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster?
Ricky Bobby: Chinese food?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chinese food.
Jean Girard: That's from China.
Ricky Bobby: Pizza.
Jean Girard: Italy.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chimichanga.
Jean Girard: Mexico.
Ricky Bobby: Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us?
Jean Girard: We invented democracy, existentialism, and the Ménage à Trois.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Those are three pretty good things.
Ricky Bobby: Hey.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Well that last one's pretty cool.
Herschell: Yeah? Well we invented the missionary position... You're welcome.
Jean Girard: Bon. So, what if you just said: "I love really thin pancakes"? That is a fair compromise, no?
Kyle: That is a fair compromise.
Herschell: Very fair, actually.
Ricky Bobby: No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crêpes!
Kyle: That's actually a pretty good compromise right there.
Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?
Ricky Bobby: You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: [leans down to talk to Ricky in a low voice] Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? I mean, forget all these other guys. But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call.
Ricky Bobby: [whispering] What do you think?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Don't say it.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. Nope. Break it, Pepé Le Pew!
Jean Girard: As you wish.
[He breaks Ricky's arm]
Ricky Bobby: [in pain] He actually did it!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Jean Girard: What?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: I play for keeps. I play for keeps!
2.) Old School (2003)
Of all the movie lines from the decade, I think the one that I've said the most is, "Great talk. See you out there," and that has to count for something. This film is great because Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell share the spotlight well (even though Luke Wilson is the main character), we get a nice look at Kim Bauer, and Ellen Pompeo is sneaky hot to a lesser degree.
Most Memorable Lines:
Mitch: Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
Cab Driver: I recommend you stop being such a faggot. You're in the backseat.
Mitch: I haven't seen Frank's dad in like eight years.
Frank: I love you dad.
Beanie: Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.
Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
Beanie: Yeah, from the guy who probably won't get in.
Jerry: I go to school here...
Beanie: Ok?
Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
Frank: Fill it up again! Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!
Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.
Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?
Marissa: That's really, loud.
Frank: Yeah, thanks. Took the restrictor plate off to give the Red Dragon a little more juice. But it's not exactly street legal, so keep it on the down low.
Frank: What happened? I blacked out.
Peppers: You should pull that out.
Frank: Wait, pull what out?
Peppers: The dart. You gotta fucking dart in your neck.
Frank: [laughs] Y-You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy.
Mark: What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick are you? Ok. Good talk. I'll see you out there
1.) Wedding Crashers (2005)
This movie is the total package. It literally has it all. Quotable, relatable comedy by some of the best comedic actors of the decade. A romantic subplot that most guys thoroughly enjoy (myself included). A cameo for the ages by Will Ferrell. And outstanding supporting performances by Christopher Walken, Bradley Cooper, and Isla Fisher.
This movie is so good that if I didn't construct this list of the Best Comedies of the Decade, it surely would have found itself on my Best Movies of the Decade list.
Other Memorable Lines:
Janice: I've got the perfect girl for you.
Jeremy Grey: Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels.
John Beckwith: You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!
Jeremy Grey: How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: You don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.
John Beckwith: Rule #16: Give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.
Jeremy Grey: Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!
Jeremy Grey: Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.
John Beckwith: I'd like to be cowboys from Arizona or pimps from Oakland but it's not Halloween. Grow up; Peter Pan, Count Chocula.
Jeremy Grey: Oh, that's terrific! Why don't you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.
John Beckwith: What?
Jeremy Grey: What do you mean "what"? What a great friend. John. This is completely against the rules. You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. There's no overtime.
John Beckwith: No overtime. Yeah, well what about the Chang wedding three years ago. 2am, you drag me fifty miles to watch you and some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother? In a retirement home.
Jeremy Grey: Completely different situation. She was a very, very family-oriented girl. And very into her grandmother.
John Beckwith: Yeah.
Jeremy Grey: That was my first Asian!
John Beckwith: I have a better idea. Throw an interception to Claire, get her feeling good about herself. You think you can do that?
Jeremy Grey: John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.
Flip: Crabcakes and Football. That's what Maryland does!
Sack Lodge: Trapster, it's Sack.
Trapster: Sackmaster. How was the wedding?
Sack Lodge: Oh, it was boring, you know, but the bachelor party, of course, rocked. We got Heidi a couple of those fucking sluts from the environmental
group, remember them?
Trapster: No way! Did you tap that again?
Sack Lodge: Once at my place, then once back in the cab.
Trapster: Damn! Sluts!
Sack Lodge: Do you remember that private detective we used to set up that fucking Shearson Lehman prick?
Trapster: The big sleazy, Tommy Gufano. He's a wop genius.
Jeremy Grey: Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's got to be an interesting combination.
Sack Lodge: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that?
Jeremy Grey: Not nearly as much as I do with the attire that you have on, or just your general point of view towards everybody. But let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched.
John Beckwith: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.
Jeremy Grey: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older women made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.
John Beckwith: I wasn't crying like a little girl.
Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
Jeremy Grey: You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?
John Beckwith: What's wrong with you?
Jeremy Grey: What do you mean "what's wrong with me?" What's wrong with you?
John Beckwith: You better lock it up.
Jeremy Grey: No, you lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: You lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
John Beckwith: Soft mattress?
Jeremy Grey: Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.
Jeremy Grey: She's fit for a strait-jacket. This broad's fucked three ways towards the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it! It turns me on.
Jeremy Grey: Erroneous! Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts!
Sack: Did you check out the rack on that bartender?
Trapster: Hey, you're the Sack. She'll come to you.
Sack Lodge: Oh my God, yeah, she will. You're right.
Honorable Mention- What Happens in Vegas (2008)
This movie is certainly not worthy of a spot in the Top 10 Comedies of the Decade, but it is one that I think you should all see. I've been touting this film ever since I first saw it 11 months ago and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Although I hate to use the term because we've all virtually killed it thanks to online communication, this film is laugh out loud funny and Rob Corddry (Hater) is the main reason why. Now, of course, there's an accompanying love story that has a few cheesy lines, but it's worth it. Plus, Cameron Diaz and Lake Bell are both smoking hot. Also, I believe I've said this before, but I'll say it again, this film actually made me like Ashton Kutcher.
Other Memorable Lines:
Jack Fuller: Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
Hater: Community college?
Hater: Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
Hater: This is my lesbian sister. Tell them about your softball team, tell them about your team.
Judge R. D. Whopper: Listen, I've been married for twenty five years to the same wonderful, infuriating woman. And granted there are days when I want to light her on fire but I don't, because I love her. And that would be illegal. And you know something, I might be old fashioned, but when I said those vows I meant them.
Hater: Lavender, you get on my head.
Hater: I'm the law, bitches!
Dave the Bear: Do you even know how to drive an automatic?
Hater: Go get your future ex-ex-wife.
Best of the rest
'00- Road Trip, Me, Myself, and Irene
'01- Saving Silverman, Not Another Teen Movie, Super Troopers
'02- Van Wilder, Austin Powers in Goldmember
'04- Team America: World Police, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
'05- The 40-Year Old Virgin
'06- You, Me, and Dupree, Grandma's Boy
'07- Knocked Up, Beerfest
'08- Tropic Thunder, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
'09- I Love You, Man
So onto the list. As a reminder, here is the criteria that went into the decision process.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it? Was the movie/song/moment nominated for an Oscar/Grammy/ESPY?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
When it comes to comedies, there are no overriding opinions that matter more than say yours or mine. Comedies rarely win or even get nominated for awards, so the second part of my criteria was virtually out the window on this one. Naturally this means that this list may be the most disputed and this is actually something that I anticipate. Comedies are very personal and subjective.
10.) Zoolander (2001)
Whether it was high school or college I was never a fan of student senate. I thought the entire thing was dumb, although my friends and I all attempted to run in 9th or 10th grade, but we were not allowed too. Apparently they gave the entire faculty veto power. If any faculty member didn't approve of someone running they could just disallow it from happening. Now it probably wasn't that cut and dry, but that's what it amounted to. I was also falsely accused of tearing down a girl's campaign signs in 8th grade. Ironically enough, her father is now a county legislator just like mine.
That all being said, during my freshmen year of college an entire slew of kids ran for student senate, perhaps already looking for a way to boost their resumes. A kid on my floor ran and only got about 4 votes, but we still proceeded to call him "Senator Dan" for the rest of the year. I tell you all of this because the only person that I remember voting for was a kid who's last name is Hansel. He put up a bunch of signs around the dorms that said, "That Hansel is so hot right now," and he immediately had my vote.
Voting strictly on a name is something that I still do today. If I don't know anything about the candidates, I usally vote for the person who's name I like the best. Some people vote by party, I vote by name. Someone must have done a study on something like this, right?
Most Memorable Lines:
Derek Zoolander: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.
Derek Zoolander: If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.
Hansel: Excuse me, bra.
Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra!
Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?
Derek Zoolander: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".
Mugatu: They’re the same face. Doesn’t anyone notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. I invented the piano key necktie. I invented it!
Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?
Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...
Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The center has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
9.) Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
This off beat, unconventional comedy took the nation by surprise back in 2004. It was such a change of pace that people fell in love with it. I personally enjoyed it when I first saw it, but I question whether or not it has rewatchability. To be honest, I think it was probably just a flash in the pan. There's no doubt that it has cultural relativity (and that's why it made the list), but Jon Heder should seriously think about a new career path because he will never outgrow the character of Napoleon Dynamite. I think I can say that I will never, ever see another movie that he stars in (as a #1 or a #2).
Most Memorable Lines:
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
Rex: Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, nobody's going to go out with me.
Pedro: Have you asked anybody yet?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.
Pedro: What do you mean?
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
Pedro: Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes... probably the best that I know of.
Pedro: Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something.
Napoleon Dynamite: That's a pretty good idea.
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow staff.
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.
Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
Kip: Are you serious?
Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious.
8.) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
This is the first of 4 films on this list that star Vince Vaughn. I don't think there's any doubt that he's the best comedic actor of the decade, right? What I think is so great about Vince Vaughn is that no matter what role he plays (and there is quite a bit of variance) it always seems like that's exactly how he'd act in real life.
Other Memorable Lines:
Peter La Fleur: You're adopted! Your parents don't even love you!
White Goodman: Ball me Blazer.
White Goodman: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
White Goodman: We should mate.
Kate Veatch: What?
White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it.
White Goodman: Are you okay?
Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I've never been there, but I read about it... in a book.
White Goodman: Hello, Katherine. Good to see you. I didn't know you were dropping by.
Kate Veatch: You asked me to come over.
White Goodman: Did I?
Kate Veatch: Are you reading the dictionary?
White Goodman: You caught me. I like to break a mental sweat too.
Kate Veatch: That... is a really interesting painting.
White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor.
Kate Veatch: I get it.
White Goodman: But that actually happened, though.
White Goodman: So, please, whatever you do, don't think of me as your boss.
Kate Veatch: I don't.
White Goodman: I don't want to get into a formal thing. I'm White, you know.
W-h-i-t…………E.
Kate Veatch: Thanks, Mr Goodman, but I don’t work for you. I'm contracted by the bank. They just assigned me to your account.
White Goodman: Right, well. You work for the bank. The bank works for me, so ipso fact, I'm your boss. Point is, I would love to see your pretty little bone structure around here some more. There's no reason we need to be shackled by the structures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back…..I'm just kidding. ….But seriously, I've got 'em.
Cotton McKnight: Hello, everybody, and welcome to this year's Las Vegas International Dodgeball Open brought to you exclusively here on ESPN8- the "Ocho".
Cotton McKnight: Yes, I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.
Pepper Brooks: It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.
7.) The Break Up (2006)
This is my darkhorse pick on the list. I think The Break Up was a very underrated movie that people don't talk about enough. Some people think of it as a date movie/romantic comedy, but it's packed with some of Vince Vaughn's best lines. Is Jennifer Aniston funny? No, not really, but she's hot.
Other Memorable Lines:
Gary: What kind of bullshit move was that?
Brooke: I'm sorry, what? What happened?
Gary: Oh don't be coy with me. You sent that animal over here to attack me when I was hung over and weak.
Brooke: Oh no. Look, all I know is The Tone Rangers they needed some place to rehearse so I very clearly told Richard, "Stay in my room," which you explained to me was my space to do with what I want.
Gary: Is that how you want to play it? Cause I'll play it like that. I'll play it like Lionel Richie, all night long, lady. Oh yeah. I'll call some guys from my neck of the woods. And we're not talking about, Brooke, about a couple of queens who know a few grapples. We're talking about Polacks that don't have a goddamn future. That's right. We can make shit real uncomfortable around here, and that's what we're going to do.
Brooke: Please, come on. You know what, you're just embarrassed because Richard kicked your ass.
Gary: Richard did not kick my ass. What Richard did was attack me when I was half asleep.
Brooke: Really, is that how you see it?
Gary: There's a really big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you're in a fight. But I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower.
Gary: "Band of Brothers"... you should rent it sometime
6.) Meet the Parents (2000)
The third and final Ben Stiller film on this list was a hit from the get go. Meet the Parents was well received because it's humor applied to just about everyone from the ages of 15-65. What I think the movie was great at was relying on awkwardness to engineer many of the laughs. I believe that this technique, or brand of humor if you will, has been fine tuned and well executed recently by Paul Rudd.
Most Memorable Lines:
Linda: How’s your portfolio?
Greg Focker: I’d say strong…to quite strong.
Jack Byrnes: Greg's a male nurse.
Greg Focker: Yes. Thank you, Jack.
Kevin: Wow, that's great. I'd love to find time to do some volunteer work. Just the other day I saw a golden retriever, he had like a gimp, ya know I just wish I could have done something.
Greg Focker: Yeah, well I get paid too so it's sort of an everyone wins thing.
[in the car listening to "Puff the Magic Dragon"]
Greg Focker: Who'd have thought it wasn't about a dragon.
Jack Byrnes: Huh?
Greg Focker: Well some people think that 'to puff the magic dragon' means to... puff... smoke... a marijuana cigarette.
Jack Byrnes: Puff is just the name of the boy's magical dragon... You a pothead, Focker?
Greg Focker: No, I pass on grass always. Well not always.
Jack Byrnes: Yes or no?
Greg Focker: No, um, yes, um...
Greg Focker: Oh, dear God, thank you, you are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating God, and we thank You oh sweet, sweet Lord of hosts for the smörgåsbord You have so aptly laid at our table this day, and each day, by day, day by day, by day oh dear Lord three things we pray to love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more clearly, to follow Thee more nearly, day, by day, by day. Amen.
Greg Focker: Yeah, you can milk anything that has nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples Greg, could you milk me?
Jack Byrnes: We’re getting creamed.
Larry: Well if Florence Nightengale would play a little defense here.
Greg Focker: Larry, I missed one shot.
Larry: It was a big shot!
Jack Byrnes: What the hell's the matter with you? It's only a game, Focker!
5.) Superbad (2007)
Every decade has a comedy about high school seniors that want to prepare themselves for college (usually sexually). The 80's had Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the 90's had American Pie, and the 00's had Superbad. Right now, it's too early to tell if Superbad will stack up with others in terms of cultural relativity, but it was definitely outlandishly funny. If I had to guess, I'd say that the movie doesn't matter as much in the grand scheme of things as the others, but that the character of Fogell is not forgotten (although he will probably best be remembered as McLovin).
Other Memorable Lines:
Seth: I joined this class because I thought I was going to be cooking with a partner. But she's never here, and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work.
Teacher: I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth.
Seth: I know, but look at Evan. Just look at him.
Seth: I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing.
Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.
Greg: What the fuck Evan we're down two points!
Seth: Fuckin' calm down Greg, it's soccer, it's soccer.
Greg: Fuck you man.
Seth: Hey Greg, why don't you go piss your pants?
Greg: That was like 8 years ago, asshole!
Seth: People don't forget!
Seth: You know when you hear girls saying like 'ahh I was so shit faced last night I shouldn't have fucked that guy,' we could be that mistake!
Seth: Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam.
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.
Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.
Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name!
Fogell: Fuck you.
Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back problems, man.
Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin?
Fogell: Old enough.
Officer Michaels: Old enough for what?
Fogell: To party.
Becca: I'm so wet right now.
Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in health class.
4.) The Hangover (2009)
Don't ask me why, but whenever I watch a movie set in the present day I'm always super critical if things happen that are totally outside the realm of possibility (unless I know going in that the movie is about a superhero/time travel/etc). This movie was so over the top funny that I instantly forgave it for all of the ridiculous things that happened in terms of the plot. For example, if this was any other movie (a bit of a spoiler alert here) the scene where they are released from the police station after getting stunned a few times would have bothered me beyond belief. I also saw this movie a month or two after most of my friends had, so I went in with high expectations and it still delivered. Like most great comedies, this is a film that will get funnier and funnier the more you watch it.
Other Memorable Lines:
Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: Listen, we fucked up. We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.
Alan Garner: Did you have to park so close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong?
Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Alan Garner: You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!
Alan Garner: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system.
Stu Price: It's also illegal.
Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like... masturbating on an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
Alan Garner: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.
Doug Billings: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay?
Alan Garner: Oh really?
Doug Billings: It's not easy.
Alan Garner: Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ruh-tard.
Stu Price: A what?
Alan Garner: He was a ruh-tard.
Black Doug: I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em floories.
Alan Garner: Or rapies.
3.) Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2007)
When I first saw a preview for this movie I wasn't all that excited about it. When it came out in theaters I chose to see Beerfest (2007) instead. When I first saw the movie I thought it was funny, but nothing special. Then, as I've mentioned before, it was on DirecTV virtually every day of my senior year of college. My housemates and I watched it countless times and it just kept getting better and better. Eventually I thought I'd get sick of it, but I continued to laugh at new lines each time. The combination of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly is unbelievable, although I wasn't a big fan of Step Brothers (2008).
Other Memorable Lines:
Ricky Bobby: If you ain't first, you're last.
Ricky Bobby: Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Jean Girard: My name is Jean Girard and I am a racing-car driver just like you except I am from Formula Un. I am the greatest one in the whole world. I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
Ricky Bobby: I can't understand a word you've said the whole time.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did you eat some peanut butter or something?
Ricky Bobby: Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth
Jean Girard: I think what you are hearing is my accent. I am French.
Ricky Bobby: You say you're French?
Jean Girard: Oui.
Ricky Bobby: We? No, we are not French. We're American, because you're in America, okay? Greatest country on the planet
Jean Girard: Well, what have you given the world apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster?
Ricky Bobby: Chinese food?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chinese food.
Jean Girard: That's from China.
Ricky Bobby: Pizza.
Jean Girard: Italy.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chimichanga.
Jean Girard: Mexico.
Ricky Bobby: Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us?
Jean Girard: We invented democracy, existentialism, and the Ménage à Trois.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Those are three pretty good things.
Ricky Bobby: Hey.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Well that last one's pretty cool.
Herschell: Yeah? Well we invented the missionary position... You're welcome.
Jean Girard: Bon. So, what if you just said: "I love really thin pancakes"? That is a fair compromise, no?
Kyle: That is a fair compromise.
Herschell: Very fair, actually.
Ricky Bobby: No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crêpes!
Kyle: That's actually a pretty good compromise right there.
Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?
Ricky Bobby: You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: [leans down to talk to Ricky in a low voice] Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? I mean, forget all these other guys. But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call.
Ricky Bobby: [whispering] What do you think?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Don't say it.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. Nope. Break it, Pepé Le Pew!
Jean Girard: As you wish.
[He breaks Ricky's arm]
Ricky Bobby: [in pain] He actually did it!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Jean Girard: What?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: I play for keeps. I play for keeps!
2.) Old School (2003)
Of all the movie lines from the decade, I think the one that I've said the most is, "Great talk. See you out there," and that has to count for something. This film is great because Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell share the spotlight well (even though Luke Wilson is the main character), we get a nice look at Kim Bauer, and Ellen Pompeo is sneaky hot to a lesser degree.
Most Memorable Lines:
Mitch: Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
Cab Driver: I recommend you stop being such a faggot. You're in the backseat.
Mitch: I haven't seen Frank's dad in like eight years.
Frank: I love you dad.
Beanie: Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.
Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
Beanie: Yeah, from the guy who probably won't get in.
Jerry: I go to school here...
Beanie: Ok?
Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
Frank: Fill it up again! Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!
Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.
Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?
Marissa: That's really, loud.
Frank: Yeah, thanks. Took the restrictor plate off to give the Red Dragon a little more juice. But it's not exactly street legal, so keep it on the down low.
Frank: What happened? I blacked out.
Peppers: You should pull that out.
Frank: Wait, pull what out?
Peppers: The dart. You gotta fucking dart in your neck.
Frank: [laughs] Y-You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy.
Mark: What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick are you? Ok. Good talk. I'll see you out there
1.) Wedding Crashers (2005)
This movie is the total package. It literally has it all. Quotable, relatable comedy by some of the best comedic actors of the decade. A romantic subplot that most guys thoroughly enjoy (myself included). A cameo for the ages by Will Ferrell. And outstanding supporting performances by Christopher Walken, Bradley Cooper, and Isla Fisher.
This movie is so good that if I didn't construct this list of the Best Comedies of the Decade, it surely would have found itself on my Best Movies of the Decade list.
Other Memorable Lines:
Janice: I've got the perfect girl for you.
Jeremy Grey: Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels.
John Beckwith: You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!
Jeremy Grey: How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: You don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.
John Beckwith: Rule #16: Give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.
Jeremy Grey: Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!
Jeremy Grey: Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.
John Beckwith: I'd like to be cowboys from Arizona or pimps from Oakland but it's not Halloween. Grow up; Peter Pan, Count Chocula.
Jeremy Grey: Oh, that's terrific! Why don't you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.
John Beckwith: What?
Jeremy Grey: What do you mean "what"? What a great friend. John. This is completely against the rules. You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. There's no overtime.
John Beckwith: No overtime. Yeah, well what about the Chang wedding three years ago. 2am, you drag me fifty miles to watch you and some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother? In a retirement home.
Jeremy Grey: Completely different situation. She was a very, very family-oriented girl. And very into her grandmother.
John Beckwith: Yeah.
Jeremy Grey: That was my first Asian!
John Beckwith: I have a better idea. Throw an interception to Claire, get her feeling good about herself. You think you can do that?
Jeremy Grey: John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.
Flip: Crabcakes and Football. That's what Maryland does!
Sack Lodge: Trapster, it's Sack.
Trapster: Sackmaster. How was the wedding?
Sack Lodge: Oh, it was boring, you know, but the bachelor party, of course, rocked. We got Heidi a couple of those fucking sluts from the environmental
group, remember them?
Trapster: No way! Did you tap that again?
Sack Lodge: Once at my place, then once back in the cab.
Trapster: Damn! Sluts!
Sack Lodge: Do you remember that private detective we used to set up that fucking Shearson Lehman prick?
Trapster: The big sleazy, Tommy Gufano. He's a wop genius.
Jeremy Grey: Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's got to be an interesting combination.
Sack Lodge: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that?
Jeremy Grey: Not nearly as much as I do with the attire that you have on, or just your general point of view towards everybody. But let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched.
John Beckwith: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.
Jeremy Grey: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older women made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.
John Beckwith: I wasn't crying like a little girl.
Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
Jeremy Grey: You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?
John Beckwith: What's wrong with you?
Jeremy Grey: What do you mean "what's wrong with me?" What's wrong with you?
John Beckwith: You better lock it up.
Jeremy Grey: No, you lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: You lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
John Beckwith: Soft mattress?
Jeremy Grey: Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.
Jeremy Grey: She's fit for a strait-jacket. This broad's fucked three ways towards the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it! It turns me on.
Jeremy Grey: Erroneous! Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts!
Sack: Did you check out the rack on that bartender?
Trapster: Hey, you're the Sack. She'll come to you.
Sack Lodge: Oh my God, yeah, she will. You're right.
Honorable Mention- What Happens in Vegas (2008)
This movie is certainly not worthy of a spot in the Top 10 Comedies of the Decade, but it is one that I think you should all see. I've been touting this film ever since I first saw it 11 months ago and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Although I hate to use the term because we've all virtually killed it thanks to online communication, this film is laugh out loud funny and Rob Corddry (Hater) is the main reason why. Now, of course, there's an accompanying love story that has a few cheesy lines, but it's worth it. Plus, Cameron Diaz and Lake Bell are both smoking hot. Also, I believe I've said this before, but I'll say it again, this film actually made me like Ashton Kutcher.
Other Memorable Lines:
Jack Fuller: Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
Hater: Community college?
Hater: Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
Hater: This is my lesbian sister. Tell them about your softball team, tell them about your team.
Judge R. D. Whopper: Listen, I've been married for twenty five years to the same wonderful, infuriating woman. And granted there are days when I want to light her on fire but I don't, because I love her. And that would be illegal. And you know something, I might be old fashioned, but when I said those vows I meant them.
Hater: Lavender, you get on my head.
Hater: I'm the law, bitches!
Dave the Bear: Do you even know how to drive an automatic?
Hater: Go get your future ex-ex-wife.
Best of the rest
'00- Road Trip, Me, Myself, and Irene
'01- Saving Silverman, Not Another Teen Movie, Super Troopers
'02- Van Wilder, Austin Powers in Goldmember
'04- Team America: World Police, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
'05- The 40-Year Old Virgin
'06- You, Me, and Dupree, Grandma's Boy
'07- Knocked Up, Beerfest
'08- Tropic Thunder, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
'09- I Love You, Man
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Best of the Decade: Songs
Before we delve into the best songs of the decade, let's first review the criteria.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it? Was the movie/song/moment nominated for an Oscar/Grammy/ESPY?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
I'll tell you now that there are a few songs on the list that I absolutely hate, but they made the cut because of how well they rate in regards to the other criteria.
Lastly, although I tried to be as thorough as possible, I'm sure that I forgot plenty of songs that deserved to be on this list. Feel free to let me know which songs I left out.
* signifies a Grammy nomination for Record of the Year or Song of the Year
** signifies a Grammy win for Record of the Year or Song of the Year
100.) Crazy Town- Butterfly (2000)
99.) Owl City- Fireflies (2009)
98.) Kenny Chesney- Young (2002)
97.) Gavin DeGraw- I Don’t Wanna Be (2004)- So what if I used to watch One Tree Hill. Sophia Bush is a smokeshow.
96.) M.I.A.- Paper Planes (2009)*- Check out this cool music video type trailer for Slumdog Milionaire (2008) that it was used for.
95.) Hoobastank- Crawling in the Dark (2002)- This might be the YouTube video that I've seen the most and now that Charlie's gone it just doesn't feel the same.
94.) Dave Matthews Band- The Space Between (2001)
93.) Incubus- Pardon Me (2000)
92.) Chris Brown- Forever (2008)- This song's popularity will always be linked to this and this.
91.) T.I.- Whatever You Like (2008)- Gotta love the one white kid in this video.
90.) Finger Eleven- One Thing (2004)
89.) Wheatus- Teenage Dirtbag (2000)- I will forever associate this song with the "friendship test." In the first few weeks of college my cousin and I, like most college kids do, had become friends with many of the kids that lived on our floor. In order to "test" the validity of these friendships we played this song for a few individuals (one by one) and asked them to either sing the first line of the song or to name the title and artist before the chorus began. In case you're wondering, a one Mr. Kyle Korver belted out, "Her name is Noel" almost instantly.
88.) Audioslave- Like a Stone (2004)- Is this song on Guitar Hero yet? The guitar solo is awesome so it better be.
87.) 3 Doors Down- Kryptonite (2000)
86.) JET- Look What You’ve Done (2004)
85.) Big and Rich- Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (2004)- 2004 World Series of Poker commercials anyone?
84.) Timbland- The Way I Are (2007)
83.) Linkin Park- In the End (2001)
82.) T Pain featuring Young Joc- Buy You A Drank (2007)
81.) U2- Walk On (2002)**
80.) Creed- Higher (2000)
79.) Jimmy Eat World- The Middle (2001)- I wish I was kidding when I tell you that while on vacation in 2006 some kid told my cousin Kate that she had to go back to his room to hear an, "awesome, new song." She wanted nothing to do with this kid, but was too nice to break his heart so she brought me along because it was on our walk home. When he put this on, after hyping up this "awesome, new song", I literally almost lost it. To this day, Kate nor I can hear this song witout laughing.
78.) The Black Eyed Peas- I Gotta Feeling (2009)
77.) Kanye West- The Good Life (2007)
76.) Bruce Springsteen- The Rising (2002)*- This list wouldn't be complete without The Boss.
75.) Sara Bareilles- Love Song (2008)*
74.) Hinder- Lips of an Angel (2006)- Although my friend Matty K is probably wondering why JoJo- Too Little Too Late (2006) didn't make the cut, this should suffice.
73.) Howie Day- Collide (2005)
72.) Fabolous- This Is My Party (2003)
71.) Kid Rock featuring Sheryl Crow- Picture (2003)
70.) Katy Perry- I Kissed A Girl (2008)*
69.) Dave Matthews Band- Everyday (2001)- Judah Friedlander's breakout role. Can you think of anyone better to star in this music video? I can't.
68.) Green Day- Wake Me Up When September Ends (2005)
67.) Akon featuring Snoop Dogg- I Wanna Fuck You (2006)
66.) Train- Drops of Jupiter (2001)*
65.) John Mayer- Waiting on the World to Change (2006)- Fairfield's finest
64.) Kenny Chesney- I Go Back (2004)
63.) Coheed and Cambria- A Favor House Atlantic (2004)
62.) Nappy Roots- Awnaw (2002)
61.) Kanye West- Family Business (2004)-
I woke up early this mornin' with a new state of mind
A creative way to rhyme without usin' knives and guns
Keep your nose out the sky, keep your heart to God
And keep your face to the risin' sun
60.) John Legend- Ordinary People (2005)*
59.) Coldplay- Viva La Vida (2008)**
58.) The Black Eyed Peas- Let’s Get it Started (2005)*
57.) O.A.R.- Love and Memories (2005)
56.) Kenny Chesney- The Good Stuff (2002)- The lyrics of this song tell a great story.
55.) Beyonce- Single Ladies (2008)
54.) Gwen Stefani- Hollaback Girl (2005)*- My least favorite song on the list.
53.) The Killers- Mr. Brightside (2005)
52.) Warren Zevon- Keep Me in Your Heart (2003)
51.) Fabolous- Into You (2003)
50.) Kings of Leon- Use Somebody (2009)
49.) Amy Whinehouse- Rehab (2007)**
48.) Fall Out Boy- Sugar, We’re Goin Down (2005)
47.) The Roots- Seed (2.0) (2003)- If you've ever watched Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (is anyone else routinely awake at 1:30 a.m.?) you know that The Roots are incredibly talented.
46.) Nelly- Country Grammar (2000)
45.) Kelly Clarkson- Miss Independent (2003)
44.) Blink 182- Adam’s Song (2000)
43.) Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown- No Air (2008)- Her dad is a former New York Giant and the song was performed on Glee. Both positives if you ask me.
42.) Coldplay- The Scientist (2002)- Probably best known for the video in which everything is going in reverse.
41.) Usher- Burn (2004)
40.) Shakira- Whenever, Wherever (2001)- Right back at ya Shakira. Whenever, wherever.
39.) 50 Cent featuring Eminem- Patiently Waiting (2004)
38.) Dr. Dre featuring Eminem- Forgot About Dre (2001)- Detroit what
37.) Carrie Underwood- Before He Cheats (2007)*- Easily the hottest chick on this list. Did anyone else see her in those leather pants during her Christmas special?
36.) Gnarls Barkley- Crazy (2006)*
35.) Outkast- Ms. Jackson (2001)*
34.) Jay-Z and Linkin Park- Numb/Encore (2004)- Now batting, #13, Alex Rodriguez
33.) U2- Beautiful Day (2001)**
32.) Green Day- Minority (2000)
31.) Usher featuring Young Jeezy- Love in this Club (2008)
30.) Soulja Boy- Crank That (Soulja Boy) (2007)- The girls I went to college with made sure that everyone knew that they knew the dance to this song.
29.) Kanye West- Gold Digger (2005)*- Speaking of dances, Kanye's dance in this video where he throws his head back is hysterical.
28.) Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys- Empire State of Mind (2009)
27.) Rascal Flatts- Fast Cars and Freedom (2005)
26.) Chris Brown- Run It (2005)
25.) Justin Timberlake- SexyBack (2006)
24.) Beyonce- Irreplaceable (2007)*
23.) James Jones- We Fly High (2006)- Any song that references grey poupon and is adopted by the New York Giants defense is A-OK in my book.
22.) Kanye West featuring Jay-Z- Diamonds from Sierra Leone (Remix) (2005)
21.) James Blunt- You’re Beautiful (2006)- One day I was going somewhere with my mom and I was driving. Now I can't remember the exact song that was playing at the time, but it was from one of my CD's and the word "fuck" was in it. As soon as my mom heard the explitive she said, "Turn this garbage off. Can't we listen to something without any curse words. What about that James Blunt song? Can you play that?" Now of course she had only heard the edited version on the radio and didn't know that the actual lyric is, "She could see from my face that I was fucking high." You better believe that I let her know that Mr. Blunt wasn't as innocent as he seemed.
20.) Rihanna featuring Jay-Z- Umbrella (2007)*- The most overplayed song on the entire list.
19.) Alan Jackson featuring Jimmy Buffett- It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere (2003)- From September 1st 2008-November 30th 2008 I had a desk job and I listened to this song just about every day.
18.) Kelly Clarkson- Since U Been Gone (2004)
17.) Beyonce featuring Jay-Z- Crazy in Love (2003)*
16.) The Black Eyed Peas- Where is the Love? (2003)*
15.) Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles (2002)*- This song came on in the ESPN cafeteria the other day just as I started to stand up to go back to my work station. Obviously I sat right back down and waited until the song was over before returning to my work station.
14.) Taylor Swift- Love Story (2008)
13.) Nelly- Grillz (2006)- An underrated contender for Artist of the Decade.
12.) Avril Lavigne- Complicated (2002)*- If she wasn't Canadian this might have cracked the top 10.
11.) Alicia Keys- Fallin’ (2001)**
10.) Rodney Atkins- These Are My People (2007)-
An awesome song that makes me think of my friends from home. Let's go orange.
9.) R. Kelly- Ignition (Remix) (2003)
8.) Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland- Promiscuous (2006)*- I just found out that Nelly Furtado is Canadian, so I'm sorry Avril, but props to her for mentioning fellow Canadian celeb Steve Nash in this song.
Hey, is that the truth or are you talking trash?
Is your game MVP like Steve Nash?
7.) Justin Timberlake featuring Timbaland- Cry Me A River (2003)
6.) 50 Cent- In Da Club (2003)
5.) Eminem- Lose Yourself (2002)
4.) Kanye West- Through the Wire (2004) -
I'm not so sure about his claim as the artist of our generation, but he could make a great case for artist of the decade. This is his 5th appearance in the countdown.
3.) Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland- Dilemma (2002)*
2.) Outkast- Hey Ya! (2003)*- Shake it like a polaroid picture
1.) Usher featuring Lil John and Ludacris- Yeah (2004)- Peace up, A-town down
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it? Was the movie/song/moment nominated for an Oscar/Grammy/ESPY?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
I'll tell you now that there are a few songs on the list that I absolutely hate, but they made the cut because of how well they rate in regards to the other criteria.
Lastly, although I tried to be as thorough as possible, I'm sure that I forgot plenty of songs that deserved to be on this list. Feel free to let me know which songs I left out.
* signifies a Grammy nomination for Record of the Year or Song of the Year
** signifies a Grammy win for Record of the Year or Song of the Year
100.) Crazy Town- Butterfly (2000)
99.) Owl City- Fireflies (2009)
98.) Kenny Chesney- Young (2002)
97.) Gavin DeGraw- I Don’t Wanna Be (2004)- So what if I used to watch One Tree Hill. Sophia Bush is a smokeshow.
96.) M.I.A.- Paper Planes (2009)*- Check out this cool music video type trailer for Slumdog Milionaire (2008) that it was used for.
95.) Hoobastank- Crawling in the Dark (2002)- This might be the YouTube video that I've seen the most and now that Charlie's gone it just doesn't feel the same.
94.) Dave Matthews Band- The Space Between (2001)
93.) Incubus- Pardon Me (2000)
92.) Chris Brown- Forever (2008)- This song's popularity will always be linked to this and this.
91.) T.I.- Whatever You Like (2008)- Gotta love the one white kid in this video.
90.) Finger Eleven- One Thing (2004)
89.) Wheatus- Teenage Dirtbag (2000)- I will forever associate this song with the "friendship test." In the first few weeks of college my cousin and I, like most college kids do, had become friends with many of the kids that lived on our floor. In order to "test" the validity of these friendships we played this song for a few individuals (one by one) and asked them to either sing the first line of the song or to name the title and artist before the chorus began. In case you're wondering, a one Mr. Kyle Korver belted out, "Her name is Noel" almost instantly.
88.) Audioslave- Like a Stone (2004)- Is this song on Guitar Hero yet? The guitar solo is awesome so it better be.
87.) 3 Doors Down- Kryptonite (2000)
86.) JET- Look What You’ve Done (2004)
85.) Big and Rich- Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (2004)- 2004 World Series of Poker commercials anyone?
84.) Timbland- The Way I Are (2007)
83.) Linkin Park- In the End (2001)
82.) T Pain featuring Young Joc- Buy You A Drank (2007)
81.) U2- Walk On (2002)**
80.) Creed- Higher (2000)
79.) Jimmy Eat World- The Middle (2001)- I wish I was kidding when I tell you that while on vacation in 2006 some kid told my cousin Kate that she had to go back to his room to hear an, "awesome, new song." She wanted nothing to do with this kid, but was too nice to break his heart so she brought me along because it was on our walk home. When he put this on, after hyping up this "awesome, new song", I literally almost lost it. To this day, Kate nor I can hear this song witout laughing.
78.) The Black Eyed Peas- I Gotta Feeling (2009)
77.) Kanye West- The Good Life (2007)
76.) Bruce Springsteen- The Rising (2002)*- This list wouldn't be complete without The Boss.
75.) Sara Bareilles- Love Song (2008)*
74.) Hinder- Lips of an Angel (2006)- Although my friend Matty K is probably wondering why JoJo- Too Little Too Late (2006) didn't make the cut, this should suffice.
73.) Howie Day- Collide (2005)
72.) Fabolous- This Is My Party (2003)
71.) Kid Rock featuring Sheryl Crow- Picture (2003)
70.) Katy Perry- I Kissed A Girl (2008)*
69.) Dave Matthews Band- Everyday (2001)- Judah Friedlander's breakout role. Can you think of anyone better to star in this music video? I can't.
68.) Green Day- Wake Me Up When September Ends (2005)
67.) Akon featuring Snoop Dogg- I Wanna Fuck You (2006)
66.) Train- Drops of Jupiter (2001)*
65.) John Mayer- Waiting on the World to Change (2006)- Fairfield's finest
64.) Kenny Chesney- I Go Back (2004)
63.) Coheed and Cambria- A Favor House Atlantic (2004)
62.) Nappy Roots- Awnaw (2002)
61.) Kanye West- Family Business (2004)-
I woke up early this mornin' with a new state of mind
A creative way to rhyme without usin' knives and guns
Keep your nose out the sky, keep your heart to God
And keep your face to the risin' sun
60.) John Legend- Ordinary People (2005)*
59.) Coldplay- Viva La Vida (2008)**
58.) The Black Eyed Peas- Let’s Get it Started (2005)*
57.) O.A.R.- Love and Memories (2005)
56.) Kenny Chesney- The Good Stuff (2002)- The lyrics of this song tell a great story.
55.) Beyonce- Single Ladies (2008)
54.) Gwen Stefani- Hollaback Girl (2005)*- My least favorite song on the list.
53.) The Killers- Mr. Brightside (2005)
52.) Warren Zevon- Keep Me in Your Heart (2003)
51.) Fabolous- Into You (2003)
50.) Kings of Leon- Use Somebody (2009)
49.) Amy Whinehouse- Rehab (2007)**
48.) Fall Out Boy- Sugar, We’re Goin Down (2005)
47.) The Roots- Seed (2.0) (2003)- If you've ever watched Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (is anyone else routinely awake at 1:30 a.m.?) you know that The Roots are incredibly talented.
46.) Nelly- Country Grammar (2000)
45.) Kelly Clarkson- Miss Independent (2003)
44.) Blink 182- Adam’s Song (2000)
43.) Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown- No Air (2008)- Her dad is a former New York Giant and the song was performed on Glee. Both positives if you ask me.
42.) Coldplay- The Scientist (2002)- Probably best known for the video in which everything is going in reverse.
41.) Usher- Burn (2004)
40.) Shakira- Whenever, Wherever (2001)- Right back at ya Shakira. Whenever, wherever.
39.) 50 Cent featuring Eminem- Patiently Waiting (2004)
38.) Dr. Dre featuring Eminem- Forgot About Dre (2001)- Detroit what
37.) Carrie Underwood- Before He Cheats (2007)*- Easily the hottest chick on this list. Did anyone else see her in those leather pants during her Christmas special?
36.) Gnarls Barkley- Crazy (2006)*
35.) Outkast- Ms. Jackson (2001)*
34.) Jay-Z and Linkin Park- Numb/Encore (2004)- Now batting, #13, Alex Rodriguez
33.) U2- Beautiful Day (2001)**
32.) Green Day- Minority (2000)
31.) Usher featuring Young Jeezy- Love in this Club (2008)
30.) Soulja Boy- Crank That (Soulja Boy) (2007)- The girls I went to college with made sure that everyone knew that they knew the dance to this song.
29.) Kanye West- Gold Digger (2005)*- Speaking of dances, Kanye's dance in this video where he throws his head back is hysterical.
28.) Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys- Empire State of Mind (2009)
27.) Rascal Flatts- Fast Cars and Freedom (2005)
26.) Chris Brown- Run It (2005)
25.) Justin Timberlake- SexyBack (2006)
24.) Beyonce- Irreplaceable (2007)*
23.) James Jones- We Fly High (2006)- Any song that references grey poupon and is adopted by the New York Giants defense is A-OK in my book.
22.) Kanye West featuring Jay-Z- Diamonds from Sierra Leone (Remix) (2005)
21.) James Blunt- You’re Beautiful (2006)- One day I was going somewhere with my mom and I was driving. Now I can't remember the exact song that was playing at the time, but it was from one of my CD's and the word "fuck" was in it. As soon as my mom heard the explitive she said, "Turn this garbage off. Can't we listen to something without any curse words. What about that James Blunt song? Can you play that?" Now of course she had only heard the edited version on the radio and didn't know that the actual lyric is, "She could see from my face that I was fucking high." You better believe that I let her know that Mr. Blunt wasn't as innocent as he seemed.
20.) Rihanna featuring Jay-Z- Umbrella (2007)*- The most overplayed song on the entire list.
19.) Alan Jackson featuring Jimmy Buffett- It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere (2003)- From September 1st 2008-November 30th 2008 I had a desk job and I listened to this song just about every day.
18.) Kelly Clarkson- Since U Been Gone (2004)
17.) Beyonce featuring Jay-Z- Crazy in Love (2003)*
16.) The Black Eyed Peas- Where is the Love? (2003)*
15.) Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles (2002)*- This song came on in the ESPN cafeteria the other day just as I started to stand up to go back to my work station. Obviously I sat right back down and waited until the song was over before returning to my work station.
14.) Taylor Swift- Love Story (2008)
13.) Nelly- Grillz (2006)- An underrated contender for Artist of the Decade.
12.) Avril Lavigne- Complicated (2002)*- If she wasn't Canadian this might have cracked the top 10.
11.) Alicia Keys- Fallin’ (2001)**
10.) Rodney Atkins- These Are My People (2007)-
An awesome song that makes me think of my friends from home. Let's go orange.
9.) R. Kelly- Ignition (Remix) (2003)
8.) Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland- Promiscuous (2006)*- I just found out that Nelly Furtado is Canadian, so I'm sorry Avril, but props to her for mentioning fellow Canadian celeb Steve Nash in this song.
Hey, is that the truth or are you talking trash?
Is your game MVP like Steve Nash?
7.) Justin Timberlake featuring Timbaland- Cry Me A River (2003)
6.) 50 Cent- In Da Club (2003)
5.) Eminem- Lose Yourself (2002)
4.) Kanye West- Through the Wire (2004) -
I'm not so sure about his claim as the artist of our generation, but he could make a great case for artist of the decade. This is his 5th appearance in the countdown.
3.) Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland- Dilemma (2002)*
2.) Outkast- Hey Ya! (2003)*- Shake it like a polaroid picture
1.) Usher featuring Lil John and Ludacris- Yeah (2004)- Peace up, A-town down
Friday, December 4, 2009
Best of the Decade: Movies
As 2009 winds down so too does the decade. These past 10 years have been a trying time in the land of the free. In fact, because of 9/11, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the financial meltdown Time Magazine has called the 00's the "worst decade ever" (Surely, the 1930's were worse, right?) It's a bit weird to think that, for all intents and purposes, I grew up in this decade. My entire high school career, my entire college career, and the beginning of my actual career all took place in this ten year stretch. In 50 years people might look back on the 00's as a decade of turmoil, but I'll look back on them as some of the best years of my life.
I mean, let's be honest, the 00's were filled with some great moments. During this final month of the decade, I will compile various "Best of the decade" lists for your viewing pleasure. Each list has been compiled under the same set of criteria.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
First up, the best movies of the decade.
10.) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Although I'm a sucker for closure the first film of this trilogy, based on the volumes written by J.R.R Tolkien, was clearly the best. I was interested in the trilogy from the get go because my dad read the prequel, "The Hobbit" (a chapter a night before we went to bed), to my brother and I when we were little (Do parents still do that?).
That being said, the film presents the entire premise in a way that is easy to understand even for those not familiar with Tolkien's "middle earth". Peter Jackson's direction of this film was not only incredible from an effects/scenery standpoint, but also for it's accuracy in regards to the original work.
One thing I liked about the movie was that Tolkien's fantasy tale is not overshadowed by any particular actor or actress. The story of the ring is what's most memorable and that's not to say that the cast was mediocre because that couldn't be further from the truth. Viggo Mortenson was incredibly badass as Aragorn, Sir Ian McKellan was terrific as Gandalf, Orlando Bloom was on the mark (no pun intended) as Legalos, and how could I not love Sean Astin (Rudy) as Sam? Hell, Liv Tyler was even pretty good as Arwen. I also must give some props to the character Gimli, the dwarf with the battle axe, because my oldest brother and his girlfriend named their new dog after him.
Most people point to the The Return of the King as the best of the three films and it won 11 Oscars including Best Picture, but not me. That movie was good, but it was literally a full hour too long. Five different times in theater I thought the movie was over before it actually ended.
9.) Walk the Line (2005)
Vivian Cash: You can't wear black. It looks like you're going to a funeral.
Johnny Cash: Maybe I am...
Other biopics in the decade were more hyped (Ray, The Aviator), but none were as succuessful as Walk the Line. Maybe Johnny Cash's life was just more suitable for such a film, but that doesn't change the fact that Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal of the American icon was electric. Now as good as he was and he was very good, Reese Witherspoon's performance as June Carter was even more remarkable. So remarkable that I would not hesistate to say that it was head and shoulders above any other female performance of the decade.
I liked Walk the Line because it was filled with real, raw human emotion. We saw the extreme highs and extreme lows of a rock star. Cash loved being on the road, but it led him to rampant drug abuse and away from his family.
Something should also be said about the scene where Cash and his band perform in front of the record producer. It was truly an inspirational moment. After they play a few songs, the producer stops them and says, "If you was hit by a truck and you was lying out there in that gutter dying, and you had time to sing *one* song. One song that people would remember before you're dirt. One song that would let God know how you felt about your time here on Earth. One song that would sum you up. You tellin' me that's the song you'd sing? That same Jimmy Davis tune we hear on the radio all day, about your peace within, and how it's real, and how you're gonna shout it? Or... would you sing somethin' different. Somethin' real. Somethin' *you* felt. Cause I'm telling you right now, that's the kind of song people want to hear. That's the kind of song that truly saves people. It ain't got nothin to do with believin' in God, Mr. Cash. It has to do with believin' in yourself."
8.) Blood Diamond (2006)
My buddy Glancy took a film class in college because he, like myself, is a big movie buff. On the first day of class the professor went around the room and asked everyone what they thought the best film of all time was. All of the film geeks that took the class because they had unrealistic goals of becoming the next Spielberg said movies like Rear Window (1954), Citizen Kane (1941), and 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). Glancy said Top Gun (1986). As soon as he said it all of the film majors laughed in that snarky "we're smarter than you" way, but Glancy went on to defend his choice by saying, "It has everything you could want in a film. There's action, adventure, drama, and romance. It's got it all."
That's how I feel about Blood Diamond. Leonardo DiCaprio (whether you liked his accent or not) was extraordinary, as usual. My buddy Matty K's favorite actor Djimon Hounsou pulled off his dramatic scenes well enough to make the audience sympathize with him as a father/husband desperate to get his family back and he was obviously perfect in all of the action scenes because of his physicality. Jennifer Connolly, as I believe I have said in the past, was sneaky hot in this film. At first she's a good looking 35-year old, but you aren't blown away. Then as the plot develops, so to does her character. Then towards the end of the film she suddenly seems incredibly hot.
7.) The Dark Knight (2008)
When I initially compiled these rankings The Dark Knight came in around 12 or 13. There was no questioning the film's captivating nature, but it wasn't nominated for Best Picture, it's about 20-25 minutes too long, and Maggie Gyllenhaal lacks any sort of sex appeal (she's a bad projection for what Amanda Bynes will look like in 10 years). How could I seriously suggest that a summer blockbuster, and one based on a comic book no less, was one of the 10 best movies of the decade? Then, as I thought more about it I realized that there were plenty more arguments to be made as to why it should make the top 10 as opposed to why it shouldn't.
1.) My buddy Frank would probably murder me if I didn't include it. In fact, he'll probably complain that I didn't have it in my top 5.
2.) In a decade that was rife with superhero films this one was better than all of the others by leaps and bounds.
3.) Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker might be the defining role of the decade and would have been even if he didn't tragically die because he snorted more coke than the Olsen twins. By the way, talk about high risk/high reward. Ledger's drug use simultaneously led to one of the most memorable acting performances of our day and to his untimely demise.
4.) Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman, who've both won Oscars for Best Supporting Actor, gave stellar performances without stealing the show.
5.) The special effects were amazing.
6.) The film contained undertones about the goodness of human nature. For example, the boat scene. Would that have happened in real life? I'm not so sure, but it evoked positive message nonetheless.
6.) Crash (2005)
In today's world it seems as if the only purpose of film, literature, television, etc. is to entertain, but this film reminded us that these creative outlets can do much more. At it's core Crash was a social commentary about our modern culture. It tapped into the everyday disconnect that is felt throughout our diverse society. The film's message was that we are all in this life together and that we all go through the same struggles, but for whatever reason we all put up fences in order to shield ourselves from others.
Orchestrating a film with multiple storylines that work in and out and blend together in order to demonstrate a singular message is a very delicate task. Films of this nature usually fail (see Bobby, Vantage Point), but when they are done successfully they can be very powerful. Another film that successfully employed this narrative style is Love Actually (2003), which I'm not ashamed to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed.
5.) The Departed (2006)
The film featured two of the best actors of our generation (Damon and DiCaprio) as cops that worked on both sides of the law with a big shot criminal played by one of the best actors of all time (Jack Nicholson). One cop (Damon) was dirty and helped the crime boss avoid the swift arm of the law. The other cop (DiCaprio) went undercover and tried to bring down the crime boss from the inside by infiltrating his crew. When you break it all down, that's the gist of the plot and even at it's simplest level the duality is pretty awesome.
The rest of the cast was brilliant as well. Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin both deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar nominations (Wahlberg got one, Baldwin didn't). Martin Sheen was great and Vera Farmiga was sneaky hot.
The best scene from the entire movie (from an acting perspective) was definitely when DiCaprio shows up at Farmiga's apartment. The sexual tension combined with the anxiety, nervousness, longing, and vulnerability that they both show in the scene is perfectly complimented by Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb". The scene is just amazing. DiCaprio is at one of his lowest moments and desperately wants to feel something that is real. Farmiga, who's sneaky hotness is at an all time high in this scene, is questioning her decision to move in with Damon and in this moment senses more of a connection with a man that she knows only as her patient with a criminal record.
Another great part about this movie is that it has rewatchability. If it's on TV, I'm watching it (Only 4-5 other movies have this power over me). Also, I think I've said this before, but the first time I watched the movie for some reason I was pulling for Matt Damon. I didn't want him to get caught. Everytime I've seen it since I've been all about DiCaprio's character. Seriously, outside of Denzel, who is even on his level as an actor?
4.) Finding Neverland (2004)
Simply a touching film. I had a few reservations about seeing it at first because on the surface it seems a little feminine and it's only rated PG, but it's now one of the first films that I recommend to others. The film really puts the power of belief and imagination on display. Seriously, watch it and then try to tell me you didn't absolutely love everything about it.
In case you didn't watch the trailer (I could watch these ten trailers all day), this film is about the author J.M Barrie's inspiration for his materpiece; Peter Pan. It features a very good Johnny Depp and the best actress of our generation, Kate Winslet.
3.) Gone Baby Gone (2007)
He lied to me. I can't think of one reason big enough for him to lie that's small enough not to matter.
During my senior year of college I had strong feelings for a young dame. Let's call her Tristen. As I've previously mentioned Tristen reciprocated those feelings, but also had strong feelings for someone else. Let's call him Lyle. A few months into the year Tristen (perhaps wisely) chose to be with Lyle. Let the record show that they have now been engaged for more than a year. My feelings for Tristen did not subside overnight, but I knew that I had to move on. In the weeks that followed I began hooking up with another girl. Let's call her Melissa.
I wish I was kidding when I say that at that point Melissa had only seen about 10 movies in her entire life. Knowing this, I decided to expand her horizons a bit, so for our first official date I took her to see Gone Baby Gone. As we walked into the theater on that fateful Wednesday night we noticed that only two other people were there; Tristen and Lyle. Now I've had some pretty awkward moments in my life, but none were even in the same ball park as that one. I was literally stunned. They were in the middle of the second to last row so we were relegated to sitting about 4-5 rows in front of them, but a little to the left (facing the screen). I think Tristen and I exchanged a quick wave, but I was so overcome with emotions that I honestly don't even remember. I'm not sure if Melissa or Lyle even knew the entire story, but Tristen and I later discussed how we've both never felt an awkward moment quite like that in our entire lives.
That all being said, I loved the movie. I had never seen a film in which Casey Affleck was the leading character and I must say that I was thoroughly impressed. Ed Harris and Amy Ryan were also outstanding. The movie had me hooked from the opening voice over.
"I always believed it was the things you don't choose that makes you who you are. Your city, your neighborhood, your family. People here take pride in these things, like it was something they'd accomplished. The bodies around their souls, the cities wrapped around those. I lived on this block my whole life; most of these people have. When your job is to find people who are missing, it helps to know where they started. I find the people who started in the cracks and then fell through. This city can be hard. When I was young, I asked my priest how you could get to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world. He told me what God said to His children. "You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves."
Although you got the feeling that the movie might end about half way through it, the actual ending was the definition of thought provoking. The decision that Casey Affleck's character faces is one that I have had hour long arguments with my friends and family members about. If I've said it once I'll say it 1000 times, you could teach an entire ethics course based solely on this film. The ending is so controversial that I bet plenty of couples have broken up because of this movie. There are arguments to be made for both sides, but there is no gray area.
2.) Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
LATIKA!
Slumdog is a heartwarming, uplifting tale. Director Danny Boyle's recreation of Vikas Swarup's novel "Q & A" is magnificent. In case you haven't seen it, the movie is about a poor boy from the slums who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and knows the answers to all of the 15 questions because of his incredible life experiences. The plot construction is both simple and genius. The main character, Jamal, is presented with a question on the game show and then the audience is shown a poignant story from his childhood where he has learned the answer to the question. Now it's not that cut and dry, but that's the premise. There is also a love story that develops from the childhood stories and comes to fruition because of the game show experience. If you haven't seen the film, drop what you're doing right now and go see it. It's that good.
A few weeks ago I was working on a four hour radio show (Football Tonight) and inbetween segments the host and I were talking about movies. What we liked. What we didn't. What our producer needed to see. Now the host has had two children in the past 20 months and hasn't seen many movies in that time, so he asked me what movies he needed to see. Without hesitation the first movie out of my mouth was Slumdog. At the end of the show he referred to me on air, as "the movie guy." I really believe that Slumdog will be one of the movies that people still talk about in 30 years.
1.) Mystic River (2003)
Mystic River is a raw, gripping, emotional crime thriller. The film is equally dark and powerful. A man's daughter is murdered and he and his friends perform their own investigation, often interviewing witnessess before the police do. As the clues are pieced together the audience is forced to wonder what will come first, justice by way of the law or vengeance by the girl's father? Let's jut say that in an intriguing plot twist author Dennis Lehane, who also wrote Gone Baby Gone, gives us both.
The cast of the best movie of the decade is, of course, extraordinary. Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, and Tim "Andy Dufresne" Robbins play childhood friends that have taken different paths in life, but are all brought back together by this murder. Penn, in an Oscar winning role plays the murdered girl's father, Bacon plays the detective investigating the murder, and Robbins in an Oscar winning role plays an aloof man who becomes a prime suspect in the murder investigation. I also must give some love to The Sandlot's Scott Smalls, who plays the boyfriend of the murdered girl.
The end of the film provides one of the best lines of the decade. Of course, if you haven't seen the movie this will mean nothing to you.
Sean: So Jimmy, when was the last time you saw Dave?
Jimmy: The last time I saw Dave...
Sean: Yeah, Dave Boyle.
Jimmy: Dave Boyle...
Sean: Yeah Jimmy, Dave Boyle.
Jimmy: That was twenty-five years ago, going up this street, in the back of that car.
The best of the rest:
’00- Gladiator, Traffic, Castaway, Almost Famous
’01- A Beautiful Mind
’02- Gangs of New York, Catch Me If You Can
’03- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
’04- Million Dollar Baby, Man on Fire, Collateral, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
’05- V for Vendetta
’06- Inside Man, The Prestige
’07- Michael Clayton, Juno
’08- Iron Man
I mean, let's be honest, the 00's were filled with some great moments. During this final month of the decade, I will compile various "Best of the decade" lists for your viewing pleasure. Each list has been compiled under the same set of criteria.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
First up, the best movies of the decade.
10.) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Although I'm a sucker for closure the first film of this trilogy, based on the volumes written by J.R.R Tolkien, was clearly the best. I was interested in the trilogy from the get go because my dad read the prequel, "The Hobbit" (a chapter a night before we went to bed), to my brother and I when we were little (Do parents still do that?).
That being said, the film presents the entire premise in a way that is easy to understand even for those not familiar with Tolkien's "middle earth". Peter Jackson's direction of this film was not only incredible from an effects/scenery standpoint, but also for it's accuracy in regards to the original work.
One thing I liked about the movie was that Tolkien's fantasy tale is not overshadowed by any particular actor or actress. The story of the ring is what's most memorable and that's not to say that the cast was mediocre because that couldn't be further from the truth. Viggo Mortenson was incredibly badass as Aragorn, Sir Ian McKellan was terrific as Gandalf, Orlando Bloom was on the mark (no pun intended) as Legalos, and how could I not love Sean Astin (Rudy) as Sam? Hell, Liv Tyler was even pretty good as Arwen. I also must give some props to the character Gimli, the dwarf with the battle axe, because my oldest brother and his girlfriend named their new dog after him.
Most people point to the The Return of the King as the best of the three films and it won 11 Oscars including Best Picture, but not me. That movie was good, but it was literally a full hour too long. Five different times in theater I thought the movie was over before it actually ended.
9.) Walk the Line (2005)
Vivian Cash: You can't wear black. It looks like you're going to a funeral.
Johnny Cash: Maybe I am...
Other biopics in the decade were more hyped (Ray, The Aviator), but none were as succuessful as Walk the Line. Maybe Johnny Cash's life was just more suitable for such a film, but that doesn't change the fact that Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal of the American icon was electric. Now as good as he was and he was very good, Reese Witherspoon's performance as June Carter was even more remarkable. So remarkable that I would not hesistate to say that it was head and shoulders above any other female performance of the decade.
I liked Walk the Line because it was filled with real, raw human emotion. We saw the extreme highs and extreme lows of a rock star. Cash loved being on the road, but it led him to rampant drug abuse and away from his family.
Something should also be said about the scene where Cash and his band perform in front of the record producer. It was truly an inspirational moment. After they play a few songs, the producer stops them and says, "If you was hit by a truck and you was lying out there in that gutter dying, and you had time to sing *one* song. One song that people would remember before you're dirt. One song that would let God know how you felt about your time here on Earth. One song that would sum you up. You tellin' me that's the song you'd sing? That same Jimmy Davis tune we hear on the radio all day, about your peace within, and how it's real, and how you're gonna shout it? Or... would you sing somethin' different. Somethin' real. Somethin' *you* felt. Cause I'm telling you right now, that's the kind of song people want to hear. That's the kind of song that truly saves people. It ain't got nothin to do with believin' in God, Mr. Cash. It has to do with believin' in yourself."
8.) Blood Diamond (2006)
My buddy Glancy took a film class in college because he, like myself, is a big movie buff. On the first day of class the professor went around the room and asked everyone what they thought the best film of all time was. All of the film geeks that took the class because they had unrealistic goals of becoming the next Spielberg said movies like Rear Window (1954), Citizen Kane (1941), and 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). Glancy said Top Gun (1986). As soon as he said it all of the film majors laughed in that snarky "we're smarter than you" way, but Glancy went on to defend his choice by saying, "It has everything you could want in a film. There's action, adventure, drama, and romance. It's got it all."
That's how I feel about Blood Diamond. Leonardo DiCaprio (whether you liked his accent or not) was extraordinary, as usual. My buddy Matty K's favorite actor Djimon Hounsou pulled off his dramatic scenes well enough to make the audience sympathize with him as a father/husband desperate to get his family back and he was obviously perfect in all of the action scenes because of his physicality. Jennifer Connolly, as I believe I have said in the past, was sneaky hot in this film. At first she's a good looking 35-year old, but you aren't blown away. Then as the plot develops, so to does her character. Then towards the end of the film she suddenly seems incredibly hot.
7.) The Dark Knight (2008)
When I initially compiled these rankings The Dark Knight came in around 12 or 13. There was no questioning the film's captivating nature, but it wasn't nominated for Best Picture, it's about 20-25 minutes too long, and Maggie Gyllenhaal lacks any sort of sex appeal (she's a bad projection for what Amanda Bynes will look like in 10 years). How could I seriously suggest that a summer blockbuster, and one based on a comic book no less, was one of the 10 best movies of the decade? Then, as I thought more about it I realized that there were plenty more arguments to be made as to why it should make the top 10 as opposed to why it shouldn't.
1.) My buddy Frank would probably murder me if I didn't include it. In fact, he'll probably complain that I didn't have it in my top 5.
2.) In a decade that was rife with superhero films this one was better than all of the others by leaps and bounds.
3.) Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker might be the defining role of the decade and would have been even if he didn't tragically die because he snorted more coke than the Olsen twins. By the way, talk about high risk/high reward. Ledger's drug use simultaneously led to one of the most memorable acting performances of our day and to his untimely demise.
4.) Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman, who've both won Oscars for Best Supporting Actor, gave stellar performances without stealing the show.
5.) The special effects were amazing.
6.) The film contained undertones about the goodness of human nature. For example, the boat scene. Would that have happened in real life? I'm not so sure, but it evoked positive message nonetheless.
6.) Crash (2005)
In today's world it seems as if the only purpose of film, literature, television, etc. is to entertain, but this film reminded us that these creative outlets can do much more. At it's core Crash was a social commentary about our modern culture. It tapped into the everyday disconnect that is felt throughout our diverse society. The film's message was that we are all in this life together and that we all go through the same struggles, but for whatever reason we all put up fences in order to shield ourselves from others.
Orchestrating a film with multiple storylines that work in and out and blend together in order to demonstrate a singular message is a very delicate task. Films of this nature usually fail (see Bobby, Vantage Point), but when they are done successfully they can be very powerful. Another film that successfully employed this narrative style is Love Actually (2003), which I'm not ashamed to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed.
5.) The Departed (2006)
The film featured two of the best actors of our generation (Damon and DiCaprio) as cops that worked on both sides of the law with a big shot criminal played by one of the best actors of all time (Jack Nicholson). One cop (Damon) was dirty and helped the crime boss avoid the swift arm of the law. The other cop (DiCaprio) went undercover and tried to bring down the crime boss from the inside by infiltrating his crew. When you break it all down, that's the gist of the plot and even at it's simplest level the duality is pretty awesome.
The rest of the cast was brilliant as well. Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin both deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar nominations (Wahlberg got one, Baldwin didn't). Martin Sheen was great and Vera Farmiga was sneaky hot.
The best scene from the entire movie (from an acting perspective) was definitely when DiCaprio shows up at Farmiga's apartment. The sexual tension combined with the anxiety, nervousness, longing, and vulnerability that they both show in the scene is perfectly complimented by Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb". The scene is just amazing. DiCaprio is at one of his lowest moments and desperately wants to feel something that is real. Farmiga, who's sneaky hotness is at an all time high in this scene, is questioning her decision to move in with Damon and in this moment senses more of a connection with a man that she knows only as her patient with a criminal record.
Another great part about this movie is that it has rewatchability. If it's on TV, I'm watching it (Only 4-5 other movies have this power over me). Also, I think I've said this before, but the first time I watched the movie for some reason I was pulling for Matt Damon. I didn't want him to get caught. Everytime I've seen it since I've been all about DiCaprio's character. Seriously, outside of Denzel, who is even on his level as an actor?
4.) Finding Neverland (2004)
Simply a touching film. I had a few reservations about seeing it at first because on the surface it seems a little feminine and it's only rated PG, but it's now one of the first films that I recommend to others. The film really puts the power of belief and imagination on display. Seriously, watch it and then try to tell me you didn't absolutely love everything about it.
In case you didn't watch the trailer (I could watch these ten trailers all day), this film is about the author J.M Barrie's inspiration for his materpiece; Peter Pan. It features a very good Johnny Depp and the best actress of our generation, Kate Winslet.
3.) Gone Baby Gone (2007)
He lied to me. I can't think of one reason big enough for him to lie that's small enough not to matter.
During my senior year of college I had strong feelings for a young dame. Let's call her Tristen. As I've previously mentioned Tristen reciprocated those feelings, but also had strong feelings for someone else. Let's call him Lyle. A few months into the year Tristen (perhaps wisely) chose to be with Lyle. Let the record show that they have now been engaged for more than a year. My feelings for Tristen did not subside overnight, but I knew that I had to move on. In the weeks that followed I began hooking up with another girl. Let's call her Melissa.
I wish I was kidding when I say that at that point Melissa had only seen about 10 movies in her entire life. Knowing this, I decided to expand her horizons a bit, so for our first official date I took her to see Gone Baby Gone. As we walked into the theater on that fateful Wednesday night we noticed that only two other people were there; Tristen and Lyle. Now I've had some pretty awkward moments in my life, but none were even in the same ball park as that one. I was literally stunned. They were in the middle of the second to last row so we were relegated to sitting about 4-5 rows in front of them, but a little to the left (facing the screen). I think Tristen and I exchanged a quick wave, but I was so overcome with emotions that I honestly don't even remember. I'm not sure if Melissa or Lyle even knew the entire story, but Tristen and I later discussed how we've both never felt an awkward moment quite like that in our entire lives.
That all being said, I loved the movie. I had never seen a film in which Casey Affleck was the leading character and I must say that I was thoroughly impressed. Ed Harris and Amy Ryan were also outstanding. The movie had me hooked from the opening voice over.
"I always believed it was the things you don't choose that makes you who you are. Your city, your neighborhood, your family. People here take pride in these things, like it was something they'd accomplished. The bodies around their souls, the cities wrapped around those. I lived on this block my whole life; most of these people have. When your job is to find people who are missing, it helps to know where they started. I find the people who started in the cracks and then fell through. This city can be hard. When I was young, I asked my priest how you could get to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world. He told me what God said to His children. "You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves."
Although you got the feeling that the movie might end about half way through it, the actual ending was the definition of thought provoking. The decision that Casey Affleck's character faces is one that I have had hour long arguments with my friends and family members about. If I've said it once I'll say it 1000 times, you could teach an entire ethics course based solely on this film. The ending is so controversial that I bet plenty of couples have broken up because of this movie. There are arguments to be made for both sides, but there is no gray area.
2.) Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
LATIKA!
Slumdog is a heartwarming, uplifting tale. Director Danny Boyle's recreation of Vikas Swarup's novel "Q & A" is magnificent. In case you haven't seen it, the movie is about a poor boy from the slums who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and knows the answers to all of the 15 questions because of his incredible life experiences. The plot construction is both simple and genius. The main character, Jamal, is presented with a question on the game show and then the audience is shown a poignant story from his childhood where he has learned the answer to the question. Now it's not that cut and dry, but that's the premise. There is also a love story that develops from the childhood stories and comes to fruition because of the game show experience. If you haven't seen the film, drop what you're doing right now and go see it. It's that good.
A few weeks ago I was working on a four hour radio show (Football Tonight) and inbetween segments the host and I were talking about movies. What we liked. What we didn't. What our producer needed to see. Now the host has had two children in the past 20 months and hasn't seen many movies in that time, so he asked me what movies he needed to see. Without hesitation the first movie out of my mouth was Slumdog. At the end of the show he referred to me on air, as "the movie guy." I really believe that Slumdog will be one of the movies that people still talk about in 30 years.
1.) Mystic River (2003)
Mystic River is a raw, gripping, emotional crime thriller. The film is equally dark and powerful. A man's daughter is murdered and he and his friends perform their own investigation, often interviewing witnessess before the police do. As the clues are pieced together the audience is forced to wonder what will come first, justice by way of the law or vengeance by the girl's father? Let's jut say that in an intriguing plot twist author Dennis Lehane, who also wrote Gone Baby Gone, gives us both.
The cast of the best movie of the decade is, of course, extraordinary. Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, and Tim "Andy Dufresne" Robbins play childhood friends that have taken different paths in life, but are all brought back together by this murder. Penn, in an Oscar winning role plays the murdered girl's father, Bacon plays the detective investigating the murder, and Robbins in an Oscar winning role plays an aloof man who becomes a prime suspect in the murder investigation. I also must give some love to The Sandlot's Scott Smalls, who plays the boyfriend of the murdered girl.
The end of the film provides one of the best lines of the decade. Of course, if you haven't seen the movie this will mean nothing to you.
Sean: So Jimmy, when was the last time you saw Dave?
Jimmy: The last time I saw Dave...
Sean: Yeah, Dave Boyle.
Jimmy: Dave Boyle...
Sean: Yeah Jimmy, Dave Boyle.
Jimmy: That was twenty-five years ago, going up this street, in the back of that car.
The best of the rest:
’00- Gladiator, Traffic, Castaway, Almost Famous
’01- A Beautiful Mind
’02- Gangs of New York, Catch Me If You Can
’03- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
’04- Million Dollar Baby, Man on Fire, Collateral, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
’05- V for Vendetta
’06- Inside Man, The Prestige
’07- Michael Clayton, Juno
’08- Iron Man
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