Turning in my man card

You might think that I'm an alpha male (or at least that I do a decent job of pretending to be one), but I'm pretty far from it. Sure I love beer, football, red meat, and occasionally objectifying women, but there are also plenty of things that I do, watch, or listen to that tend to counteract my alpha male status.

In fact, I think it's time that I come clean and admit the guiltiest of all of my guilty pleasures. Now, I know what you must be thinking. This has to be bad because he's already admitted to this and written about this. And yes folks, I'm afraid it is pretty bad....

I have watched the majority of this season of The Bachelorette...and I can't get enough. How this happened, I still don't really know.

For the better part of the last year I have worked on just about every Monday night from 4:30PM-1AM. It was one of the few staples of my constantly fluctuating work schedule. Then the World Cup came around and all of a sudden (thanks to the time difference) I was working from 7:30AM-5PM on Mondays.

At first it was a bit of struggle to wake up that early, but I eventually got used to it. The real curveball was deciding what to watch on Monday night. It was early to mid-June so MNF was out of the question and the shows that I normally DVR on Mondays were either in re-run mode (How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory) or not airing past episodes altogether (24, Damages).

So I started flipping through the channels and in what must have been the perfect storm of boredom and intrigue in a particularly good looking girl I gave the show a chance and within minutes I was hooked. I had heard that the show is very good and very entertaining, but I had always brushed it off because it just comes across as completely feminine (and it sort of is). Also, of the people that have mentioned how great of a show it is, most were female and just about all the males only watch with their wives or girlfriends.



It's gotten to the point now where I'm back to working on Monday nights (at least for the time being), so I DVR The Bachelorette and watch it as soon as I get home from work.

That said, here are a handful of my observations on the show....

-It's incredibly well done. Very well put together. It's literally packed with suspense and drama. I think a lot of this has to do with trying to guess who this girl likes the most and who she's going to send packing in each particular episode.

-They put these people in the most hyper-romantic places and situations possible, so it's almost hard for them not to at least fall for the allusion of being in love. Doing this obviously adds drama, intrigue, and a bit of glitz and glamour to the show, but this is fantasy world stuff. These people are hardly ever placed in real world situations, so it's hard to project whether or not their relationship would work in an everyday environment.

-Now, I could be wrong on this because this is the first season that I've seen, but I don't think the history of past contestants is very good. I know that the most recent couple from The Bachelor has already split up (because they took up about 40 minutes of one of The Bachelorette episodes a few weeks ago). I think this is a result of what I was talking about before. The show puts these people in beautiful, romantic places and atmospheres and they think they're in love and then all of a sudden somebody has to take out the trash and all hell breaks loose.

-Obviously this adds to the drama and suspense, but I don't think it's a good thing for The Bachelorette (Ali) to be so obsessed with marriage. She wants the person that she eventually picks to propose to her on the spot and she always says things like, "I know I'm going to find my husband here." To me, it's a little too aggressive.

-This chick literally makes out with everybody. It's out of control. I don't know how the target audience (which has to be women ages 16-50) is ok with this. Literally whenever she doesn't know what to say she just starts making out with whoever shes with. This can't bode well for the guys trying to marry her either. Like, it can't be a good feeling to know that your "girlfriend" is off making out with multiple other dudes when you're not with her. I don't know, I think this would be tough for me to get past.

-Sometimes I think the show is a little scripted. It sort of has a bit of The Hills feel to it from time to time. For example, one guy was only there "to become famous." He was secretly calling his girlfriend throughout the show. Another guy got a tatoo of a rose on his wrist. The guy that was the leader in the clubhouse went back to see his ex-girlfriend to "see if he was still in love with her" and showed up at her apartment with the cameras. She answered, they talked, and he "realized that he was still in love with her", so he had to fly down to Tahiti to tell Ali. I don't know, I just think it's a little too much to believe.

-When talking about other contestants some guys would say, "Oh, he's not here for the right reasons." Really? How many other reasons could someone be there for? I mean, sure you've got the guy that was apparently only there to become famous, but outside of him (and again, that must have been scripted), who isn't there to try to win this girl's heart?

-I think a lot of people watch and a lot of people go on the show because they want to believe in true love. They either want to watch or to take part in this fairy tale romance.

-The contestants and Ali all use the same words and phrases over and over and over. The all time worst is, "We have such a great connection."

-Last, but not least, Ali's down to Chris and Roberto. So, who's she going to pick? Roberto. Bank on it.

The Man in the Mirror

I recently saw a Stoli ad that asks what I think is a fascinating question.

Would you have a drink with yourself?

When I first saw the ad, I instinctively answered it and I said no. Despite being a loud, outgoing person, I'm pretty hesistant about venturing outside of my comfort zone. I also judge people like it's going out of style, so my general pessimism towards someone I don't know would preclude me from having that drink. Also, I generally don't open myself up or put myself on the line to people I don't know, so I couldn't see myself asking myself to get a drink.

On top of that, one thing that generally bothers me about having conservations with people is their lack of knowledge when it comes to sports. Now I realize that this is very arrogant of me, but I'm so inundated with sports information at work that it becomes borderline annoying to have sports related conversationa with most people. Because of this, I generally assume that I know more about sports than whoever I'm talking to (when I'm not at work), so I tend to avoid this topic at all costs even though it's my bread and butter.

These were my initial thoughts, but soon after I thought about it some more because, again it's a fascinating question, I think we all would like our answer to be "yes".

"Yes, I would love to have a drink with myself."

I mean, it's only natural for us all to want to be interesting, engaging people that others would enjoy having a drink with. Seriously, who doesn't want to bring something to the table?

A few days later I had a movie related conversation (sports are like my 4-seam fastball, movies are my 2-seam fastball, and obviously poop is my deuce) with someone and within the first 5 minutes he mentioned how much he loved my top 2 current celebrity crushes.

1.) Zooey Deschanel (go watch Yes, Man and (500) Days of Summer right now)
2.) Lizzy Caplan (Party Down is a fantastic television show. Trust me.)

After the conversation, I immediately thought that I would absolutely love to have a drink with myself. If I could get past my initial pessismistic, judgmental feelings than I think I would have a great time having a Bud heavy with myself. Seriously, someone to talk Blue Jays, Knicks, Syracuse, Notre Dame, movies, TV shows, etc. with? Sign me up.



In reality, it's kind of a loaded question (no pun intended) because almost everyone would enjoy having a drink with someone that shares all of their interests. That's mainly what friendships are based on: common interests. I think the question should be looked at like this- If someone you kind of know at work (who happens to be just like you) asks you to get a drink, would you say yes or no?

Sure enough, after being fascinated with this question for almost two weeks, I saw a similar Stoli ad, except this one had Julia Stiles literally having a drink with herself. Had I seen that commercial first, there's no wayyyy I would have written this. She's so not hot that she isn't even borderline on the hot or not scale.

Howl

Well, well well. Look what I stumbled across today....



I must say that the choice of James Franco to play Allen Ginsberg is pretty good (he's previosly played a gay character in Milk (2008). Not only that, but you can't really go wrong with Jon Hamm as a suave looking lawyer. Also starring in the film are Jeff Daniels and Mary Louise-Parker

Black Actors

Recently a friend of mine asked if I was planning on seeing the new Karate Kid movie. Without hesitation I replied, "Absolutely not." Apparently he thought differently of the 80's remake because he said, "Really? Jaden Smith has star written all over him."

After hearing this ridiculous claim I confidently stated that Jaden Smith would never, at any point in his life, be a top five black actor.

Who then, you ask, are the current top 5 black actors going?

1.) Denzel Washington-



55 years old, 5-time Oscar nominee (2 wins)
Best films- Glory (1989), The Pelican Brief (1993), Philadelphia (1993), He Got Game (1998), Training Day (2001), Man on Fire (2004), Inside Man (2006)

What have you done for me lately? The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 (2009), The Book of Eli (2010)

Synopsis- Even though he hasn't been nominated for an Oscar since 2001, Denzel is still THE preeminant black actor out there. He's a box office juggernaut that is easily one of the top 5 actors, of any race, going. I've said it before and I'll say it again, outside of Fallen (1998) Denzel hasn't been in a bad movie.

2.) Morgan Freeman-



73 years old, 5-time Oscar nominee (1 win)
Best films-Driving Miss Daisy (1989), The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Kiss the Girls (1997), Million Dollar Baby (2004), Gone Baby Gone (2007), The Bucket List (2007), The Dark Knight (2008)

What have you done for me lately? Invictus (2009)

Synopsis- He's getting up there in age, but Morgan Freeman can still churn 'em out with the best of them. He's evolved into the ideal supporting actor (The Dark Knight), but he can still play the leading role successfully as well (The Bucket List). Not to mention the fact that he has one of the best and most recognizable voices in all of Hollywood.


3.) Jamie Foxx -



42 years old, 2-time Oscar nominee (1 win)
Best films- Any Given Sunday (1999), Collateral (2004), Ray (2004), The Kingdom (2007)

What have you done for me lately? The Soloist (2009), Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

Synopsis- Why do I get the feeling that Jamie Foxx has yet to peak as an actor? Maybe I'm being fooled by what a cool guy he is, but Foxx seems to get better with each role. The only thing keeping him from entering that Denzel level where if he plays a cop, government agent, etc. it's a must see is Miami Vice (2006).

4.) Will Smith-



41 years old, 2-time Oscar nominee
Best films- Independence Day (1996), Men in Black (1997), Enemy of the State (1998), Hitch (2005), The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

What have you done for me lately? Seven Pounds (2008), Hancock (2008)

Synopsis- The Fresh Prince of Bel Air still puts the asses in the seats (and that's really all that matters), but I feel like he hasn't evolved as an actor. It's almost like he got comfortable playing the lead in action movies and chose not to stray too far away from that wheelhouse. Just look at his resume from the 2000's (I Am Legend, Hancock, I, Robot).

5.) Don Cheadle-



45 years old, 1-time Oscar nominee
Best films- Ocean's 11 (2001), Crash (2004), Hotel Rwanda (2004)

What have you done for me lately? Traitor (2008), Brooklyn Finest (2009)

Synopsis- I don't exactly know why, but I like Don Cheadle. He still seems like he's more of a supporting actor, so his being in this top 5 might come as a bit of surprise, but there's no questioning his talent.


Best of the rest (in no particular order)- Djimon Hounsou, Samuel L. Jackson, Forest Whitaker, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Terrence Howard, and Laurence Fishburne.

With Will Smith as the youngest member of my list, did I jump the gun when I said that his son Jaden would never achieve top 5 status?