Trick or Treat

I worked 28 of the 31 days in October, so I haven't really had the appropriate amount of time to let a thought or two really germinate and become a full blog post. Instead I'll just spout off on a myriad of topics that have crossed my mind in the past month.

My parents routinely ask me what my friends do for a living. In most cases I genuinely don't know the answer. Maybe it's because I don't know what my friends actually do at work because I don't know how things operate in their industry (finance, for example) or maybe I just don't care. That might sound horrible and I'm sure my parents are skeptical about my lack of knowledge when it comes to the professions of my friends. I think that the go to question for adults my parents age has always been, "What do you do?" More than likely it's the first thing that an adult will ask another upon being introduced. I guess my question is this. Does a person's profession reveal anything significant about their character? I would argue that it doesn't. I don't know what the majority of my friends do for a living, but that doesn't mean that we aren't close. Their day to day tasks and duties have little bearing on the type of person that they are. I'm more interested in where they're living, who they're hanging out with, what they've recently posted on a social media site, and what movies, tv shows, and books they've recently consumed.

* I recently made a serious attempt at guessing what the other 9 members of a fantasy football league do. I got one correct (my cousin who will not be named) and another partially right (a lawyer, but I don't have a clue what he does).


Sunday Night Football's open on NBC is different this year. Country star Carrie Underwood has replaced country star Faith Hill. From what I can tell the lyrics to the song, "Waiting All Day For Sunday Night" have not changed (they still rhyme NBC with NBC in the last stanza), but the video has. Underwood is younger (30), more attractive, and more vibrant than Hill (46). In fact, Underwood might be in my top 5 of celebrities that I want to bang. That all said, I much prefer the Faith Hill version of the Sunday Night Football open, which, by the way, is the greatest thing going in terms of sports television.

Faith showed her legs (she changed outfits from year to year- sometimes within the same version), worked her hips, and there was that one brief moment every week where you thought you could see her vagina. She got every drip of sex appeal ringing through her body and put it into that performance. I used to get a little tingly before the big game every week. Underwood just looks bubbly and fun. She jumps around and claps her hands. It's like she knows that she's beautiful, so she doesn't exert much effort. I love Underwood, but I'd be all for bringing back Faith.


The NBA is back and I, for one, couldn't be more thrilled. I'm a big Knicks fan, but I've really tempered my expectations for the season. Last year they won their division and finished 2nd in the Eastern Conference. I'd be stunned if they managed to do that this year. I actually like their depth a lot. Andrea Bargniani is soft, but he's 7 feet tall and can shoot, Tim Hardaway, Jr. has some spring in his step and he can knock down three-pointers, Metta World Peace actually plays defense and can hit a corner jump shot, and JR Smith won the 6th Man of the Year award last season. I also think that Iman Shumpert is going to have a semi-breakout year (his biggest issue is consistency).

The reason that the Knicks probably won't be the #2 seed again is that the top of the Eastern Conference has gotten significantly better. The Heat, last year's #1 seed, are obviously better than the Knicks. The Bulls swept the Knicks in the regular season last year and now they have former MVP Derrick Rose back. The Pacers beat the Knicks in the playoffs and they get Danny Granger back, added Luis Scola and CJ Watson, and their star Paul George is only getting better. The Nets added future Hall of Famers Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett and are the clear favorites to win the Atlantic Division. That puts the Knicks at the #5 seed and that doesn't even account for a team like Washington that should be drastically improved from a season ago with the health of John Wall, development of Bradley Beal, and the addition of Marcin Gortat.

I'll probably watch upwards of 60 Knick games this year, but I also watch plenty of other games as well. Here's my starting five of non-All-Stars that I enjoy watching.

PG- Jarrett Jack, Cleveland Cavaliers
SG- Jimmy Butler, Chicago Bulls
SF- Kawhi Leonard, San Antonio Spurs
PF- DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento Kings
C- Larry Sanders, Milwaukee Bucks

While we're talking NBA, how about the debut of my guy Michael Carter-Williams?



The Sixers are expected to be the worst team in the league (over/under on wins is 16.5) and all they did in their season opener was beat the two-time defending champion Heat thanks to the performance of Carter-Williams. He scored 22 points, dished out 12 assists, set an NBA record with 9 steals in his debut, and also grabbed 7 rebounds.


Since it's Halloween we can end there. I'm going/went as Bradley Cooper's character in Silver Linings Playbook. It's relatively creative (most people should know what I am) and incredibly easy to pull off (grey sweatpants, a grey hoodie, and a black trash bag).

Here are my Top 10 Favorite Candy Options

1.) Twix (THEY'RE ALL TWIX. IT WAS A SET UP. A SET UP I TELL YOU.)
2.) Charleston Chew
3.) Reese's Pieces
4.) Kit Kats
5.) Milky Way
6.) Snickers
7.) Baby Ruth
8.) 100 Grand
9.) 3 Musketeers
10.) Junior Mints

Tool or No Tool

This Monday The Dan LeBatard Show debuted on ESPN Radio (4-7pm ET). LeBatard has long been a well known member of the sports media (he hosts a TV show with his father weekdays on ESPN), but until Monday I had never heard him host a radio show. He’s wildly eccentric, self-deprecating, and apt to go off on tangents, but I’m already a big fan. In one of the first segments I heard he and his co-host who goes by the name Stugotz played a game with Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill. It was called Tool or No Tool. LeBatard and Stugotz rattled off a bunch of things that people say and do and Tannehill had to decide if the performer of the act in question was a tool or not a tool. I’ve borrowed a bunch of theirs and added a few of my own below.

The game reminded me of when I first started working at ESPN. A high school friend asked me if Josh Elliot, at that time an anchor of the 10am SportsCenter, was cocky cool or cocky tool. I had never heard the term before, but immediately knew what it meant. With that said, let’s start Tool or No Tool there.

Josh Elliot (who now works for ABC on Good Morning America)? No tool. There’s an air of smugness about him, but I think he’s a cool dude.

Asking for a re-tweet? Tool. I will never understand this. Even if a celebrity is dumb enough to re-tweet you all that their followers will see if how pathetic you are by asking for a re-tweet.

Wearing jeans and sandals? Tool. Unless you’re a country singer.

Selfies? Tool. I’ve never stooped that low, but my cousin who will not be named has incorporated selfies into his life in an interesting way. He uses them as stakes for bets. For example, we have a bet about whether or not I can eat two pizzas from a particular restaurant in one sitting (I definitely can) and the loser has to post a selfie on Instagram. The winner gets to write the caption.

Ordering a salad at a restaurant? No tool. Had you asked me a year ago my answer probably would have been different, but in today’s day and age this is definitely a legitimate move (even if you’re with a group of guys).

Making jokes about the government shutdown? Tool. They’ve been incessant since it began.

Tweeting about things that happen on Jeopardy? Tool. Guilty as charged, but I still contend that there’s always a contestant who thinks that they are awesome at the categories in which a word or a few letters are in quotes.

Watching Jeopardy? No tool. I actually watched an entire episode while at work this week with my headphones on.

Buffalo Bills backup quarterback Jeff Tuel? Tool.

Posting a picture of your car on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram for any reason? Tool. I got a new car on Monday and have been fighting the slight urge ever since, but I can’t see any positives to doing so.

Having a go-to order at Starbucks? Tool. Grande skinny vanilla latte. I disgust myself.

Growing a playoff beard for the Major League Baseball post season? Tool. This is a hockey thing. Any other attempt pales in comparison. That said, I did shave today in preparation to work every day for the next month on the Major League Baseball post season.

Twitter arguments? Tool. I’ve never done it, but I’m usually quite entertained when two celebrities get into it in the social space (unless it’s the made up feud between Kevin Durant and Dwyane Wade).

British accents? No tool. I’m all about them. I also marvel at the way that British actors develop an American accent. In a related note, Daniel Radcliffe (better known as Harry Potter) was a guest on The Colbert Report last night and was hysterical.

Listening to podcasts? No tool. They are actually pretty good for long runs/workouts. There are also so many of them that it’s hard to not find a topic that interests you.