Pop culture encompasses many different areas of entertainment, including: music, film, art, and sports. The personalities that make up these genres are often lauded by their fans, which generally consist of the masses. They are looked up upon as if they exist in their own world. Rarely do we see that they too, are fans. Sure celebrities are often seen at major sporting events. For example, we know that Ben Affleck is a Boston Red Sox fan, that Ashley Judd is a Kentucky Wildcats fan, and that Jack Nicholson is a Lakers fan. But is Dustin Pedroia, like I am, an Affleck fan? Is Jodie Meeks an Ashley Judd fan? And is Kobe Bryant a Jack Nicholson fan? You want the truth? I have no idea. If I had to guess I'd say that Pedroia likes Affleck but thinks he's a pussy, Meeks has no idea who Ashley Judd is, and Kobe would say that he's a Nicholson fan but can't name 5 movies that he's in. Can you?
Last night, Will Ferrell sat front row at the world's most famous arena for a New York Knicks game. Is he a Knicks fan? He was born in California and is often spotted at Laker games sitting court side which, just like it is at the garden, is basically just a publicity stunt. While Ferrell's fanhood is still in question, he witnessed a great show last night by one of his fans.
Now this is not the first time Nate has referenced Talladega Nights.
Nate, after his performance in the dunk contest and now this, has shown that his personality belongs in New York (I hope you're listening Lebron). He may have reached his ceiling as a player because he will most likely never be a starting point guard in the NBA, but he is perfect for New York. Just imagine how insignificant Nate would be if he played for the Charlotte Bobcats.
This story has personal resonance for me not only as a Knicks fan, but also as a big fan of Talladega Nights. When it first came out I was not too excited to see it. In fact, I chose to see Beerfest over Talladega Nights when they were in theaters. I don't regret that decision for a minute, because the latter was virtually always being played on DirecTV during my senior year of college. My roommates and I embraced its pervasiveness and it paid off. The movie literally gets funnier every time you see it.
It should also be noted that, John C. Reilly (Cal Naughton Jr.) has pulled off a rare feat in acting. Most actors, like Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell, come on to the scene because of their comedic talents and then try to venture off into more serious roles (Sandler in Reign Over Me (2007) and Ferrell in Stranger Than Fiction (2006)). Reilly has taken the reverse path. He made his way onto the scene by playing minor roles in serious movies (The Thin Red Line (1998), Chicago (2002) and The Hours (2002)) before branching off into comedy.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Oscars
Well they'll be rolling out the red carpet in Hollywood tomorrow for the 81st annual Academy Awards. The hosting duties have been bestowed upon the Aussie Hugh Jackman. This selection is a bit different from the usual Jon Stewart, Ellen DeGeneres, or Chris Rock; however Jackman is no novice when it comes to hosting. He actual won an Emmy in 2004 for his hosting performance of the Tony's (awards in broadway), which he hosted from 2003-2005. Jackman also co-starred with fellow Aussie Nicole Kidman in the aptly named 2008 film Australia, directed by Baz Luhrmann, that was expected to be a contender come awards season, but only garnered one Oscar nomination (Best Costume Design).
For those of you that don't remember, I handicapped the Oscars back in January when the nominations were unveiled. Now it is time to make my final predictions.
Best Picture
Even though they normally save this award for last, I'll tackle the night's biggest award right off the bat.
The movie that I am rooting for: Slumdog Millionaire
The movie that will win: Slumdog Millionaire
It's an uplifting story that everyone should see. It already won the Golden Globe, which is like winning the NIT in men's college basketball, and now it's time to win the big one. They are even flying the kids, their first ever flight, from India for the Awards Ceremony.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
The actor that I am rooting for: Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon
The actor that will win: Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler
I'm basically just covering my bases here because I wouldn't mind if either won. Rourke is the favorite because he won the Golden Globe, but I'm pulling for Langella because he portrayed Tricky Dick and because it was his first on screen performance. Brad Pitt is also in the mix here, but I do not want to see him win.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
The actress that I am rooting for: Angelina Jolie in Changeling
The actress that will win: Kate Winslet in The Reader
Winslet is the best actress going and I'm just bitter that she didn't get nominated for her role in Revolutionary Road. Angelina won an Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role in her last trip to the nuthouse (Girl Interrupted (1999)), so it would make sense if that factor put her over the top again.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
The actor that I am rooting for: Michael Shannon in Revolutionary Road
The actor that will win: Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight
I don't want to sound like a 14-year-old girl by "rooting" for Heath Ledger posthusmously. Ledger is going to win, and he actually deserves it because he was awesome, but the fact that he died brings so much unneccessary hoopla along with it. On a sidenote, Shannon was very good in his portrayal of a mental patient.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
The actress that I am rooting for: Amy Adams in Doubt
The actress that will win: Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona
As I wrote in my preview, it would be fitting for Penelope to win for portraying a crazed, emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend because she has the life experience to back it up. She had a mental breakdown in 2002.
Well there are my picks. Just a quick sidebar here. Over under 7 1/2 times winners thank "The Academy"? On that note, I wonder what it takes to get inclusion into such an esteemed club. It sounds a little pretentious, but it's still a very cool title.
- So what do you do?
- I'm a member of the Academy.
For those of you that don't remember, I handicapped the Oscars back in January when the nominations were unveiled. Now it is time to make my final predictions.
Best Picture
Even though they normally save this award for last, I'll tackle the night's biggest award right off the bat.
The movie that I am rooting for: Slumdog Millionaire
The movie that will win: Slumdog Millionaire
It's an uplifting story that everyone should see. It already won the Golden Globe, which is like winning the NIT in men's college basketball, and now it's time to win the big one. They are even flying the kids, their first ever flight, from India for the Awards Ceremony.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
The actor that I am rooting for: Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon
The actor that will win: Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler
I'm basically just covering my bases here because I wouldn't mind if either won. Rourke is the favorite because he won the Golden Globe, but I'm pulling for Langella because he portrayed Tricky Dick and because it was his first on screen performance. Brad Pitt is also in the mix here, but I do not want to see him win.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
The actress that I am rooting for: Angelina Jolie in Changeling
The actress that will win: Kate Winslet in The Reader
Winslet is the best actress going and I'm just bitter that she didn't get nominated for her role in Revolutionary Road. Angelina won an Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role in her last trip to the nuthouse (Girl Interrupted (1999)), so it would make sense if that factor put her over the top again.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
The actor that I am rooting for: Michael Shannon in Revolutionary Road
The actor that will win: Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight
I don't want to sound like a 14-year-old girl by "rooting" for Heath Ledger posthusmously. Ledger is going to win, and he actually deserves it because he was awesome, but the fact that he died brings so much unneccessary hoopla along with it. On a sidenote, Shannon was very good in his portrayal of a mental patient.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
The actress that I am rooting for: Amy Adams in Doubt
The actress that will win: Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona
As I wrote in my preview, it would be fitting for Penelope to win for portraying a crazed, emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend because she has the life experience to back it up. She had a mental breakdown in 2002.
Well there are my picks. Just a quick sidebar here. Over under 7 1/2 times winners thank "The Academy"? On that note, I wonder what it takes to get inclusion into such an esteemed club. It sounds a little pretentious, but it's still a very cool title.
- So what do you do?
- I'm a member of the Academy.
Friday, February 20, 2009
I Love You, Man
Every now and then a movie comes along and you think it has to be great purely based on its cast. More often than not that movie turns out to be a success, but sometimes the movie doesn't live up to the hype. Wedding Crashers (2005), featured Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, and Christopher Walken, and was an instant comedic hit. Heat (1995) , on the other hand, flopped despite featuring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Jon Voight, Val Kimer, and Ashley Judd (not to mention Dennis Haysbert, Natalie Portman, and Jeremy Piven). To put it into perspective, it cost $60 million to make and only grossed $66 million.
If you've been to the movies lately or have browsed imdb.com, I hope that you have seen the preview for I Love You, Man. This comedy is set to release on Friday March 20th and features three of my favorite comedic actors at the moment in Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, and Andy Samberg. It also stars Karen from The Office and Jaime Pressly. No way this movie isn't awesome.
Jason Segel, who plays the new best friend, has recently come onto the scene largely due to his role on the CBS Monday night show How I Met Your Mother. This role catapulted him to the big screen, where he starred in the 2008 summer comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Here is a clip from How I Met Your Mother.
Andy Samberg, who plays the younger brother (who turns out to be gay), is one of the current stars of Saturday Night Live. He is also a member of the comedy group Lonely Island. Many of his comedy sketches have become internet sensations. Here are a few.
I'm on a boat
Jizz in my pants
Lazy Sunday
Roy Rules
Paul Rudd, who plays the main character, has come into the lime light with his roles in Knocked Up and Role Models. His dry, sarcastic wit is his signature style of humor. Here is a clip from an appearance he made on Late Night with Conan O'Brien.
Speaking of Conan, in case you haven't heard NBC is shuffling up their weeknight lineup. Jay Leno is moving to 10 p.m. eastern and Conan is taking over as the new host of the The Tonight Show, which airs at 11:35 p.m. eastern. Here is an article about his last week of doing Late Night with Conan O'Brien in New York. In case you need any incentive to actually click the link, it includes a masturbating bear.
If you've been to the movies lately or have browsed imdb.com, I hope that you have seen the preview for I Love You, Man. This comedy is set to release on Friday March 20th and features three of my favorite comedic actors at the moment in Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, and Andy Samberg. It also stars Karen from The Office and Jaime Pressly. No way this movie isn't awesome.
Jason Segel, who plays the new best friend, has recently come onto the scene largely due to his role on the CBS Monday night show How I Met Your Mother. This role catapulted him to the big screen, where he starred in the 2008 summer comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Here is a clip from How I Met Your Mother.
Andy Samberg, who plays the younger brother (who turns out to be gay), is one of the current stars of Saturday Night Live. He is also a member of the comedy group Lonely Island. Many of his comedy sketches have become internet sensations. Here are a few.
I'm on a boat
Jizz in my pants
Lazy Sunday
Roy Rules
Paul Rudd, who plays the main character, has come into the lime light with his roles in Knocked Up and Role Models. His dry, sarcastic wit is his signature style of humor. Here is a clip from an appearance he made on Late Night with Conan O'Brien.
Speaking of Conan, in case you haven't heard NBC is shuffling up their weeknight lineup. Jay Leno is moving to 10 p.m. eastern and Conan is taking over as the new host of the The Tonight Show, which airs at 11:35 p.m. eastern. Here is an article about his last week of doing Late Night with Conan O'Brien in New York. In case you need any incentive to actually click the link, it includes a masturbating bear.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Be Like Mike
Although I am an admitted Kobe Bryant apologist, I still have much respect for the most iconic figure the game of basketball has ever seen: Michael Jordan. MJ turns 46 today and therefore I would like to pay homage to the man, the myth, the legend. Jordan's global influence literally can not be calculated. There is no doubt that he is not only the greatest basketball player that has ever lived, but also the most well marketed man in the history of sports. Jordan permeated the globe to such a degree that one year his face was found to be the most recognizable in the world. Number two on that list, was Jesus Christ.
My adoration of Jordan is smaller than many of my friends. I simply contend that I was too young to fully appreciate his greatness (He retired from the Bulls when I was 12). That being said, it would be ludicrous for me not to acknowledge his extraordinary abilities both on and off the court.
My favorite on the court Jordan moments
Jordan's on the court highlights are simply indelible moments of greatness.
The Shrug
Dunk on Ewing
Jordan/Mutombo
It's hard to find the individual plays, so here is a highlight compilation
My favorite off the court Jordan moments
Every year around this time, Jordan comes out with a new sneaker and commercial to promote that sneaker. These commercials, as well as his ads for other products (namely Gatorade, Hanes, and Ballpark Franks- the only hot dog brand my unnamed cousin will eat) have become ingrained into the pop culture allure. Each commercial seems to have a specific message (usually the title) that sticks with you well after you see it.
Be Like Mike
I secretly love the rap that you can hear in the full version of the song
People also love this Gatorade commercial.
What is Love?
Let Your Game Speak
My all time favorite.
Become Legendary
As great as this commercial was, I was a little disappointed that no Carmelo Anthony clips while he was in college at Syracuse were shown, but they did show Marvin Harrison speeding down the sideline of the Loud House.
Failure
Jordan has done so much in his 46 years that he oftentimes doesn't get all the credit that he deserves. For example, who do you think started the whole talc powder at mid court before a game thing? Well it wasn't Lebron (Why do you think he wears the #23?). And it wasn't Garnett (who I originally thought it was). It was MJ.
The one thing, out of all that is Jordan, that is perhaps my favorite, and that I never want him to lose credit for is his post game fist pump.
My adoration of Jordan is smaller than many of my friends. I simply contend that I was too young to fully appreciate his greatness (He retired from the Bulls when I was 12). That being said, it would be ludicrous for me not to acknowledge his extraordinary abilities both on and off the court.
My favorite on the court Jordan moments
Jordan's on the court highlights are simply indelible moments of greatness.
The Shrug
Dunk on Ewing
Jordan/Mutombo
It's hard to find the individual plays, so here is a highlight compilation
My favorite off the court Jordan moments
Every year around this time, Jordan comes out with a new sneaker and commercial to promote that sneaker. These commercials, as well as his ads for other products (namely Gatorade, Hanes, and Ballpark Franks- the only hot dog brand my unnamed cousin will eat) have become ingrained into the pop culture allure. Each commercial seems to have a specific message (usually the title) that sticks with you well after you see it.
Be Like Mike
I secretly love the rap that you can hear in the full version of the song
People also love this Gatorade commercial.
What is Love?
Let Your Game Speak
My all time favorite.
Become Legendary
As great as this commercial was, I was a little disappointed that no Carmelo Anthony clips while he was in college at Syracuse were shown, but they did show Marvin Harrison speeding down the sideline of the Loud House.
Failure
Jordan has done so much in his 46 years that he oftentimes doesn't get all the credit that he deserves. For example, who do you think started the whole talc powder at mid court before a game thing? Well it wasn't Lebron (Why do you think he wears the #23?). And it wasn't Garnett (who I originally thought it was). It was MJ.
The one thing, out of all that is Jordan, that is perhaps my favorite, and that I never want him to lose credit for is his post game fist pump.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Personal Offense Scale
Athletes are thought of as role models, and are therefore subjected to unfair scrutiny when they make mistakes. It seems like athletes are making these mistakes all too frequently. Just recently we have had Michael Phelps hitting that bong (the picture seen around the world) and A-Rod's admission to taking performance enhancing drugs. The public/media reaction for these offenses, just like all scandals that involve athletes, has been varied. Some people have compared smoking marijuana to speeding or cheating on your taxes while others have demanded the full prosecution of the law. For the record, the DA in whatever South Carolina county that is reeks of desperation in his/her attempt for nationwide attention. Arresting people because a picture has been circulated weeks after the incident? Please. A-Rod's steroid admission has earned him praise in some courts, even though he only admitted it because his name was leaked, where as baseball purists are adamant in declaring that this whole era of baseball is tainted.
Steroids is actually a great example to prove the point about varied reactions by the media and the court of public opinion. Barry Bonds, A-Rod, McGwire, etc. get killed by the media for their use of performance enhancing drugs. As if the public shame isn't enough, Hall of Fame voters develop vendettas against these so-called cheaters, despite their extraordinary talents. Contrastly, Shawn Merriman, a Pro Bowl Linebacker of the San Diego Chargers, tests positive for performance enhancing drugs and the media treats it like an injury. "Shawn Merriman will miss four games." "The Chargers Defense will struggle until they get Merriman back." "Merriman, despite missing four games, is still a pro bowler."
A blog named Free Darko has recognized this disparity and has called for a personal offense scale that would put all athletes on a level playing field in terms of what their punishment and subsequent media reaction should be. It should be noted that my scale was constructed by assuming that each transgression was committed by a player on my favorite team.
15.) Complaining about one's contract- This happens all the time and more often than not I side with the athlete in question. Arizona Cardinals Wide Reciever Anquan Boldin is the most recent athlete to do so and he has a legitimate gripe. The Cardinals signed his teammate Larry Fitzgerald to a long term deal (something like 4 years for $40 million), but have refused to do the same for him even though Boldin's numbers are eerily similar to Fitzgerald's. In 80 career games Boldin has caught 502 passes for 6496 yards and 40 TD's. In 76 career games Fitzgerald has caught426 passes for 5975 yards and 46 TD's.
The opposing argument is that you have no right to complain if you are under a contract. I agree with this line of thinking to a certain extent, but contract extensions occur frequently enough in professional sports for athletes who feel that they are underpaid to complain. My only complaint with all this is if the athlete doesn't have the numbers to back it up.
14.) Sexual Infidelity- When it comes to professional athletes, this is a given. I think I would say that 75% of professional athletes cheat on their spouses (that's MLB, NBA, and the NFL- is the NHL lockout over yet?) That number might even be higher. This offense is rather insignificant because it doesn't involve criminal charges and the athlete's performance does not suffer. Let me put it this way. Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant both cheated on their wives and they did just fine on the basketball court.
Jordan/Kobe is another glaring example of a varied media/public reaction. Jordan cheated on his wife countless times and she eventually divorced him. Kobe Bryant cheated on his wife (probably up until he got caught) and I believe has not done so since. The media didn't bring up Jordan's infidelity because they subjectively handled their coverage of him. They were not reporters. They were fans writing stories about him. Kobe, on the other hand, was ripped because of the changing focus of the American media. After the Monica Lewinsky scandal, everyone became an overly critical investigator. The watchdog mentality has since been furthered with the coverage of A-Rod's infidelity in Toronto. Now I am not absolving Kobe Bryant for his offense, in fact he's lucky his wife is superficial enough to let a 3 million dollar ring do the trick, but I am saying that the media treated his situation much differently than Jordan's.
13.) Making it rain- Adam "Pac Man" Jones made this one famous while in a strip club in Vegas and only ran into trouble when he tried to reclaim all of the money that he threw around. If you have the money to throw around in a club than by all means do it. I don't care if your poor judgment leaves you with no money after you retire. Just don't be an idiot and try to get your money back after flaunting it in a club.
12.) Racism- It's rare that a story breaks involving an athlete and racial impropriety; however I suspect that plenty of athletes have racist sentiments. Kerry Collins, quarterback for the Tennessee Titans, while a member of the Carolina Panthers once called his teammate Muhsin Muhammad, a wide receiver, a "nigger" while at a bar in South Carolina. Apparently this slur was attributed to Collins' larger problem; alcohol, but as you know, the drunk tongue speaks what the sober mind thinks. Collins was able to lead that Panther team to the NFC championship game, so I don't think his racism/alcoholism was that much of a problem.
In fact, I don't find racism to be that big of a problem in sports. On a given team, white guys can hang out with other white guys and black guys can hang out with other black guys. Not everyone on every team is going to get along. Talent, coaching, and focus can outweigh a lack of racial harmony. Unfortunately for the Cowboys they didn't have much coaching or focus this past season. Don't try to tell me that the Romo/Witten/TO thing didn't have racial overtones.
11.) Being a bad teammate- Being a bad teammate has differing consequences based on the sport. Barry Bonds was probably the worst teammate in the history of sports, but he produced on the field, albeit his production was steroid induced. In football, it's an issue, but there are enough other players on the field, and hopefully enough team leaders, to minimize the problem. Bad teammates are the most destructive forces as basketball players. Selfish gunners that only care about their own success, I'm looking at you Stephon, simply ruin teams.
10.) Getting a DUI- Athletes are forced to deal with a lot of stress. Alcohol is a good remedy. Just don't kill anyone on the road and I'm okay with it.
9.) Shooting yourself/Gun Charges- Thank you for this new one Plaxico Burress. As a Giants fan, I want Burress back. I knew he was a moron well before he shot himself. Remember when he got up and spiked the ball after catches with the Steelers two years in a row only to see the fumbles recovered by the opposing team? There are two issues with this though. Number one is health. This bullet wound better not slow him down. Number two is the gun charges. If you are a professional athlete and feel that you need a gun to protect yourself, why are you buying it on the black market? Get a gun license and buy one legally (I guess my advice is just a little late. Right Marshawn?).
8.) Drug Abuse- This was probably the most difficult offense to rank because drug abuse comes in varying degrees. I don't care if an athlete smokes weed. Hell, I'd estimate that 40 percent of the NBA tokes up in the off season. Need proof? One. Two. Three. Four. Five. That took about 10 seconds.
Drug abuse becomes a problem for me when the drug in question is more serious. The penalty under the law is in direct correlation with how egregious I find the act. Matt Jones, Jacksonville Jaguars Wide Receiver, is a cocaine dealer, but somehow got to play all year (probably because he's white). These offenses bother me as a fan because cocaine, heroine, etc. usually lead to jail time and that means the player on my team is never going to be the same.
7.) Performance enhancing drugs- I understand the 'everybody was doing it' argument and almost appreciate the desire to get better and help the team. In fact, a high school teacher of mine had a sign in her classroom that said, "There are no shortcuts on the road to success," that I found to be 100% wrong. Surely, there are plenty of shortcuts. Steroids, just like me copying someone else's homework, gets you to somewhere you want to be quicker. I'm not too big on the integrity of the game and all that nonsense. I also think that there are so many 'performance enhancing drugs' out there nowadays , like creatine for example, that weren't around when all these records were set. I generally don't see what the big deal is, but at the same time I recognize the ill effects of steroid use. Look no further than what happened with Chris Benoit.
6.) Dogfighting/Animal Cruelty- I won't be sending my PETA application in anytime soon, but my problem with this offense is that of the perpetrator's mind. The type of person that would do these sort of things for enjoyment is not the type of person that I want representing my team. I don't care how talented they are. They are no doubt, equally sick in the head.
5.) Murder- Murder is only at number 5? Yeah and I'll explain why. Murder for professional athletes should be very simple. If they want someone dead, all they have to do is hire someone else to do it without leaving a paper trail. Simple solution, paying the assassin in straight cash homey. I also understand that some guys might want to pull the trigger themselves. If so, all they have to do is take the person that has wronged them to a private location, kill them, and then have their cronies dispose of the body. A prerequisite for this personal execution is preparing a sound proof alibi with a number of witnesses. Murder is obviously pretty serious, but if it's the linebacker of my favorite team than I'm okay with it because that's the mindset that I want him to have.
4.) Shooting another person- This is much worse than murder, because it just shows that you are a pussy and can't get the job done. It also leaves much more of a chance for you to get caught because the victim does not die. My main man Marvin Harrison of the Indianapolis Colts, and formerly of the Syracuse Orangmen, was charged with this crime last year, but thankfully the charge was later dropped.
3.) Domestic Abuse- Athletes have come down on both sides of the issue. Former MLB pitcher Chuck Finley got beat by his wife whereas Jason Kidd beat his wife. As I've said numerous times, hitting girls is almost never acceptable, no matter how big of an irrational bitch they are being.
This might sound a bit contradictory as I all but defended Eric Devendorf for hitting a girl in my last post. 1.) Devo's haymaker doesn't count as domestic abuse because he is not married to that broad. 2.) His moral compass is so fucked up that I do not like him as a person, I just like him because of the name on the front of his jersey.
Hitting your wife, and mother of your children, is simply not acceptable. If I were the owner of a professional sports franchise, I would trade/release any athlete guilty of this offense.
2.) Disrespecting America- How someone could not appreciate the opportunities that this country has provided for them is beyond me. Josh Howard is dead to me. This especially pisses me off because there is no criminal penalty for this blatant disrespect. I don't know how Dallas Maverick fans sleep at night.
It also must be noted that some athletes have chosen to turn their back to the flag during the national anthem as a display of political disagreement. Former Toronto Blue Jay Carlos Delgado once chose this method of political discourse to show his opposition to the war in Iraq. As an American citizen you are entitled to your opinion and can express political dissent. I'm fine with that, but never, and I mean never turn your back on the American flag.
1.) Rape- Before anyone even thinks of it, let me again reiterate that Kobe Bryant had consensual sex with that blond in Colorado. She cried wolf simply to make some cash, which we did receive by way of a settlement. Rape is the most heinous, disgusting crime out there. There is no silver lining. In fact there's not even any shades of gray. Rape is all black. Convicted rapists should not be allowed to play professional sports.
Steroids is actually a great example to prove the point about varied reactions by the media and the court of public opinion. Barry Bonds, A-Rod, McGwire, etc. get killed by the media for their use of performance enhancing drugs. As if the public shame isn't enough, Hall of Fame voters develop vendettas against these so-called cheaters, despite their extraordinary talents. Contrastly, Shawn Merriman, a Pro Bowl Linebacker of the San Diego Chargers, tests positive for performance enhancing drugs and the media treats it like an injury. "Shawn Merriman will miss four games." "The Chargers Defense will struggle until they get Merriman back." "Merriman, despite missing four games, is still a pro bowler."
A blog named Free Darko has recognized this disparity and has called for a personal offense scale that would put all athletes on a level playing field in terms of what their punishment and subsequent media reaction should be. It should be noted that my scale was constructed by assuming that each transgression was committed by a player on my favorite team.
15.) Complaining about one's contract- This happens all the time and more often than not I side with the athlete in question. Arizona Cardinals Wide Reciever Anquan Boldin is the most recent athlete to do so and he has a legitimate gripe. The Cardinals signed his teammate Larry Fitzgerald to a long term deal (something like 4 years for $40 million), but have refused to do the same for him even though Boldin's numbers are eerily similar to Fitzgerald's. In 80 career games Boldin has caught 502 passes for 6496 yards and 40 TD's. In 76 career games Fitzgerald has caught426 passes for 5975 yards and 46 TD's.
The opposing argument is that you have no right to complain if you are under a contract. I agree with this line of thinking to a certain extent, but contract extensions occur frequently enough in professional sports for athletes who feel that they are underpaid to complain. My only complaint with all this is if the athlete doesn't have the numbers to back it up.
14.) Sexual Infidelity- When it comes to professional athletes, this is a given. I think I would say that 75% of professional athletes cheat on their spouses (that's MLB, NBA, and the NFL- is the NHL lockout over yet?) That number might even be higher. This offense is rather insignificant because it doesn't involve criminal charges and the athlete's performance does not suffer. Let me put it this way. Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant both cheated on their wives and they did just fine on the basketball court.
Jordan/Kobe is another glaring example of a varied media/public reaction. Jordan cheated on his wife countless times and she eventually divorced him. Kobe Bryant cheated on his wife (probably up until he got caught) and I believe has not done so since. The media didn't bring up Jordan's infidelity because they subjectively handled their coverage of him. They were not reporters. They were fans writing stories about him. Kobe, on the other hand, was ripped because of the changing focus of the American media. After the Monica Lewinsky scandal, everyone became an overly critical investigator. The watchdog mentality has since been furthered with the coverage of A-Rod's infidelity in Toronto. Now I am not absolving Kobe Bryant for his offense, in fact he's lucky his wife is superficial enough to let a 3 million dollar ring do the trick, but I am saying that the media treated his situation much differently than Jordan's.
13.) Making it rain- Adam "Pac Man" Jones made this one famous while in a strip club in Vegas and only ran into trouble when he tried to reclaim all of the money that he threw around. If you have the money to throw around in a club than by all means do it. I don't care if your poor judgment leaves you with no money after you retire. Just don't be an idiot and try to get your money back after flaunting it in a club.
12.) Racism- It's rare that a story breaks involving an athlete and racial impropriety; however I suspect that plenty of athletes have racist sentiments. Kerry Collins, quarterback for the Tennessee Titans, while a member of the Carolina Panthers once called his teammate Muhsin Muhammad, a wide receiver, a "nigger" while at a bar in South Carolina. Apparently this slur was attributed to Collins' larger problem; alcohol, but as you know, the drunk tongue speaks what the sober mind thinks. Collins was able to lead that Panther team to the NFC championship game, so I don't think his racism/alcoholism was that much of a problem.
In fact, I don't find racism to be that big of a problem in sports. On a given team, white guys can hang out with other white guys and black guys can hang out with other black guys. Not everyone on every team is going to get along. Talent, coaching, and focus can outweigh a lack of racial harmony. Unfortunately for the Cowboys they didn't have much coaching or focus this past season. Don't try to tell me that the Romo/Witten/TO thing didn't have racial overtones.
11.) Being a bad teammate- Being a bad teammate has differing consequences based on the sport. Barry Bonds was probably the worst teammate in the history of sports, but he produced on the field, albeit his production was steroid induced. In football, it's an issue, but there are enough other players on the field, and hopefully enough team leaders, to minimize the problem. Bad teammates are the most destructive forces as basketball players. Selfish gunners that only care about their own success, I'm looking at you Stephon, simply ruin teams.
10.) Getting a DUI- Athletes are forced to deal with a lot of stress. Alcohol is a good remedy. Just don't kill anyone on the road and I'm okay with it.
9.) Shooting yourself/Gun Charges- Thank you for this new one Plaxico Burress. As a Giants fan, I want Burress back. I knew he was a moron well before he shot himself. Remember when he got up and spiked the ball after catches with the Steelers two years in a row only to see the fumbles recovered by the opposing team? There are two issues with this though. Number one is health. This bullet wound better not slow him down. Number two is the gun charges. If you are a professional athlete and feel that you need a gun to protect yourself, why are you buying it on the black market? Get a gun license and buy one legally (I guess my advice is just a little late. Right Marshawn?).
8.) Drug Abuse- This was probably the most difficult offense to rank because drug abuse comes in varying degrees. I don't care if an athlete smokes weed. Hell, I'd estimate that 40 percent of the NBA tokes up in the off season. Need proof? One. Two. Three. Four. Five. That took about 10 seconds.
Drug abuse becomes a problem for me when the drug in question is more serious. The penalty under the law is in direct correlation with how egregious I find the act. Matt Jones, Jacksonville Jaguars Wide Receiver, is a cocaine dealer, but somehow got to play all year (probably because he's white). These offenses bother me as a fan because cocaine, heroine, etc. usually lead to jail time and that means the player on my team is never going to be the same.
7.) Performance enhancing drugs- I understand the 'everybody was doing it' argument and almost appreciate the desire to get better and help the team. In fact, a high school teacher of mine had a sign in her classroom that said, "There are no shortcuts on the road to success," that I found to be 100% wrong. Surely, there are plenty of shortcuts. Steroids, just like me copying someone else's homework, gets you to somewhere you want to be quicker. I'm not too big on the integrity of the game and all that nonsense. I also think that there are so many 'performance enhancing drugs' out there nowadays , like creatine for example, that weren't around when all these records were set. I generally don't see what the big deal is, but at the same time I recognize the ill effects of steroid use. Look no further than what happened with Chris Benoit.
6.) Dogfighting/Animal Cruelty- I won't be sending my PETA application in anytime soon, but my problem with this offense is that of the perpetrator's mind. The type of person that would do these sort of things for enjoyment is not the type of person that I want representing my team. I don't care how talented they are. They are no doubt, equally sick in the head.
5.) Murder- Murder is only at number 5? Yeah and I'll explain why. Murder for professional athletes should be very simple. If they want someone dead, all they have to do is hire someone else to do it without leaving a paper trail. Simple solution, paying the assassin in straight cash homey. I also understand that some guys might want to pull the trigger themselves. If so, all they have to do is take the person that has wronged them to a private location, kill them, and then have their cronies dispose of the body. A prerequisite for this personal execution is preparing a sound proof alibi with a number of witnesses. Murder is obviously pretty serious, but if it's the linebacker of my favorite team than I'm okay with it because that's the mindset that I want him to have.
4.) Shooting another person- This is much worse than murder, because it just shows that you are a pussy and can't get the job done. It also leaves much more of a chance for you to get caught because the victim does not die. My main man Marvin Harrison of the Indianapolis Colts, and formerly of the Syracuse Orangmen, was charged with this crime last year, but thankfully the charge was later dropped.
3.) Domestic Abuse- Athletes have come down on both sides of the issue. Former MLB pitcher Chuck Finley got beat by his wife whereas Jason Kidd beat his wife. As I've said numerous times, hitting girls is almost never acceptable, no matter how big of an irrational bitch they are being.
This might sound a bit contradictory as I all but defended Eric Devendorf for hitting a girl in my last post. 1.) Devo's haymaker doesn't count as domestic abuse because he is not married to that broad. 2.) His moral compass is so fucked up that I do not like him as a person, I just like him because of the name on the front of his jersey.
Hitting your wife, and mother of your children, is simply not acceptable. If I were the owner of a professional sports franchise, I would trade/release any athlete guilty of this offense.
2.) Disrespecting America- How someone could not appreciate the opportunities that this country has provided for them is beyond me. Josh Howard is dead to me. This especially pisses me off because there is no criminal penalty for this blatant disrespect. I don't know how Dallas Maverick fans sleep at night.
It also must be noted that some athletes have chosen to turn their back to the flag during the national anthem as a display of political disagreement. Former Toronto Blue Jay Carlos Delgado once chose this method of political discourse to show his opposition to the war in Iraq. As an American citizen you are entitled to your opinion and can express political dissent. I'm fine with that, but never, and I mean never turn your back on the American flag.
1.) Rape- Before anyone even thinks of it, let me again reiterate that Kobe Bryant had consensual sex with that blond in Colorado. She cried wolf simply to make some cash, which we did receive by way of a settlement. Rape is the most heinous, disgusting crime out there. There is no silver lining. In fact there's not even any shades of gray. Rape is all black. Convicted rapists should not be allowed to play professional sports.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
As if these games needed any more hype
With the onset of The Shampoo Effect back in October many of my friends, perhaps knowing where my passions lie, expected me to exhibit much more of a sports focus than what I have thus far. While sports play a significant role in my life I think that I have shown a much broader scope of my entertainment interests. Now that I work in the industry, many people have asked if the consumption of sports has become like a job for me. Or rather, have sports lost their appeal because I am constantly dealing with them. Well my friends, the answer to that is no. I still find much enjoyment in watching live sporting events, although press conferences are an entirely different story. It's just that sometimes I am so immersed in the goings on of the sports world that writing about them would be bothersome for me. That however is not the case at the moment. I have a hard on just thinking about tomorrow night's slate of college basketball games.
Is it rivalry week, or what? Last year every week of the college basketball season had a stupid name like school spirit week or judgment week. I imagine that they are doing the same thing this year and that I have just been oblivious to it? Well either way, tomorrow night's two matchups features four of the most storied programs in the history of college basketball. These four squads have combined to win 5 of the past 10 national championships. At 7 pm the Syracuse Orange will travel to Stoors to take on the Connecticut Huskies in Gampel Pavilion. Then at 9 pm the North Carolina Tar Heels will stroll down Tobacco Road to take on the Duke Blue Devils in Cameron Indoor Stadium. If you need any more motivation to watch (you shouldn't), here are a few things you can look forward to.
#22(#1 in my heart) Syracuse Orange @ #1 Connecticut Huskies
1.) Both Syracuse guard Eric Devendorf and Connecticut guard A.J. Price have had run ins with the law in their tenure as college athletes.
Devendorf missed two games earlier this year (including a 'Cuse win @ Memphis) for his alleged involvement in an off campus altercation with a female student in November. This female student claims that Devendorf punched her in the face. My first thought as a Syracuse homer was that 1.) she had it coming and 2.) she shouldn't have been standing there. I must also say that I all but called this one back on October 13th when I referenced the time that former Providence guard Donnie McGrath hit a girl. I wrote that McGrath was "Eric Devendorf before Eric Devendorf." Devendorf was eventually let off the hook with just 40 hours of community service as his punishment.
Price was suspended for the entire 2005-06 season after his involvement in the theft and attempted sale of laptop computers from dorm rooms. He was charged with 3 felony counts of larceny and lying to police, a misdemeanor. His punishment was 18 months of probation and 400 hours on non basketball related community service.
Due to their off court troubles each has faced incessant taunting during road games. Opposing fans do their best to get under each player's respective skin. With the game being at Uconn, one would think this would be an advantage for the Huskies, but au contraire. Devendorf undoubtedly wears his emotions on his sleeve. In fact, he has a tatoo on his left bicep that showcases a basketball in the center of a cross, perhaps insinuating that his religion is basketball. I believe that Devendorf is the type of player that can turn personalized chants from opposing crowds as motivation to step his game up in a postive manner. I think he will feed off of this energy and play well.
2.) Syracuse small forward Paul "Do it all" Harris and Connecticut power forward Jeff Adrien are lunch pail performers with freakish bodies
Harris and Adrien are two of the most under appreciated players in the country. While Jonny Flynn and Hasheem Thabeet get most of the pub for SU and UCONN respectively, Harris, at just 6'5, leads the Orange in rebounding with 8.3 per game and Adrien, thought of as the 4th or 5th option offensively, leads the Huskies in scoring with 14.1 points per game.
The more relevant (well less relevant for the game, but more relevant for the blog) similarity between the two is their physiques. They both look like linebackers. Harris is listed at 6'5 228 lbs. and Adrien checks in at 6'7 243 lbs. So who would win in a fight? With Adrien's height and weight advantage we can assume that he also possesses the longer reach. The deck appears to be stacked in his favor, but Harris has the X-factor; man strength. You know, the added bonus in terms of strength that only adult males possess. Harris, not Adrien, has attained this strength booster because he has achieved what I believe to be the prerequisite; he's fathered a child.
3.) Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim and Connecticut coach Jim Calhoun are both hall of famers that have survived prostate cancer
Boeheim gets the nod in this one for three reasons. 1.) He was a coach on the United States gold medal winning basketball team this summer in Beijing and 2.) He defends his players and 3.) Could Calhoun ever pull this off?
#3 North Carolina Tar Heels @ #5 Duke Blue Devils
1. ) North Carolina guard Wayne Ellington and Duke guard Gerald Henderson were high school teammates that are now excelling at rival schools
This situation continues to be fascinating. High school teammates almost always stick together when they go to the next level. A few examples- Greg Oden and Mike Conley Jr. going to Ohio State and Paul Harris and Johnny Flynn going to Syracuse (current SU players Scoop Jardine and Rick Jackson also went to high school together). The Ellington/Henderson saga will reach a new level tomorrow night as each are finally living up to their hype. Each player can has the ability to take over games. Ellington with his ability to shoot and Henderson with his ability to slash. While they both play on the wing, they will most likely not guard each other, although this would make every possession that much more exciting. I'll give the edge to Henderson in this one because he has really turned it on lately, he'll be at home, and he caused the next reason that I'll be tuning in tomorrow night.
2.) The UNC/Duke rivalry is so intense that there is a possibility that Tyler Hansbrough might bleed, again
Tyler Hansbrough is one of those players that you either love or you hate. I hate him. I loved it when Gerald Henderson elbowed him in the face and made him spray blood all over the place. Sure he's had an amazing career, but he just seems like a loser. Here's a few examples that illustrate my point. At age 15, Hansbrough used his own money to hire a nutrionist to make sure he was eating healthy. Earlier this year, Hansbrough missed four games because of the possibility that he would get shin splints. He did not have them. There was no injury. He just had the conditions that normally lead to shin splints, which for the record is a pussy injury. Need more evidence that this kid is an L7 weenie? Look at this 'celebration' after hitting a game winning shot.
Hansbrough is easily in my top 3 least favorite college basketball players of all time. Rounding out the top 3 are Shane Battier (Duke '98-'01) and Joakim Noah (Florida '04-'07).
3.) Speaking of players you either love or hate
A six foot nothing white point guard from Syracuse that wears the #3 and likes to shoot the 3 ball? Who does this kid think he is? Gerry McNamara? Paulus, a fellow graduate of Christian Brothers Academy in Syracuse, has never beaten the Tar Heels on his home floor and as this article points out, it seems like he's been at Duke for the better part of a decade.
After an impressive performance in his return to the starting lineup against Miami, will the senior be able to lead his team to victory? He has often remarked, off the record anyway, that this Duke team goes as he goes. In that case, Duke fans better hope that his jump shot is falling. He doesn't have top of the line quickness and because of this he has relied more and more on his long range shot. He was impressive from behind the arc in his sophomore and junior seasons, shooting 45 and 42 percent respectively. However this season his numbers from deep have dipped to a below average 32 percent.
Paulus has certainly had his moments against the Tar Heels. He has stepped up both for the good (17.3 points per game in the past two seasons) and the bad. In a game loaded with talent on both sides he might not be the obvious x-factor, but expect him to play a pivotal role in either a win or a loss.
Is it rivalry week, or what? Last year every week of the college basketball season had a stupid name like school spirit week or judgment week. I imagine that they are doing the same thing this year and that I have just been oblivious to it? Well either way, tomorrow night's two matchups features four of the most storied programs in the history of college basketball. These four squads have combined to win 5 of the past 10 national championships. At 7 pm the Syracuse Orange will travel to Stoors to take on the Connecticut Huskies in Gampel Pavilion. Then at 9 pm the North Carolina Tar Heels will stroll down Tobacco Road to take on the Duke Blue Devils in Cameron Indoor Stadium. If you need any more motivation to watch (you shouldn't), here are a few things you can look forward to.
#22(#1 in my heart) Syracuse Orange @ #1 Connecticut Huskies
1.) Both Syracuse guard Eric Devendorf and Connecticut guard A.J. Price have had run ins with the law in their tenure as college athletes.
Devendorf missed two games earlier this year (including a 'Cuse win @ Memphis) for his alleged involvement in an off campus altercation with a female student in November. This female student claims that Devendorf punched her in the face. My first thought as a Syracuse homer was that 1.) she had it coming and 2.) she shouldn't have been standing there. I must also say that I all but called this one back on October 13th when I referenced the time that former Providence guard Donnie McGrath hit a girl. I wrote that McGrath was "Eric Devendorf before Eric Devendorf." Devendorf was eventually let off the hook with just 40 hours of community service as his punishment.
Price was suspended for the entire 2005-06 season after his involvement in the theft and attempted sale of laptop computers from dorm rooms. He was charged with 3 felony counts of larceny and lying to police, a misdemeanor. His punishment was 18 months of probation and 400 hours on non basketball related community service.
Due to their off court troubles each has faced incessant taunting during road games. Opposing fans do their best to get under each player's respective skin. With the game being at Uconn, one would think this would be an advantage for the Huskies, but au contraire. Devendorf undoubtedly wears his emotions on his sleeve. In fact, he has a tatoo on his left bicep that showcases a basketball in the center of a cross, perhaps insinuating that his religion is basketball. I believe that Devendorf is the type of player that can turn personalized chants from opposing crowds as motivation to step his game up in a postive manner. I think he will feed off of this energy and play well.
2.) Syracuse small forward Paul "Do it all" Harris and Connecticut power forward Jeff Adrien are lunch pail performers with freakish bodies
Harris and Adrien are two of the most under appreciated players in the country. While Jonny Flynn and Hasheem Thabeet get most of the pub for SU and UCONN respectively, Harris, at just 6'5, leads the Orange in rebounding with 8.3 per game and Adrien, thought of as the 4th or 5th option offensively, leads the Huskies in scoring with 14.1 points per game.
The more relevant (well less relevant for the game, but more relevant for the blog) similarity between the two is their physiques. They both look like linebackers. Harris is listed at 6'5 228 lbs. and Adrien checks in at 6'7 243 lbs. So who would win in a fight? With Adrien's height and weight advantage we can assume that he also possesses the longer reach. The deck appears to be stacked in his favor, but Harris has the X-factor; man strength. You know, the added bonus in terms of strength that only adult males possess. Harris, not Adrien, has attained this strength booster because he has achieved what I believe to be the prerequisite; he's fathered a child.
3.) Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim and Connecticut coach Jim Calhoun are both hall of famers that have survived prostate cancer
Boeheim gets the nod in this one for three reasons. 1.) He was a coach on the United States gold medal winning basketball team this summer in Beijing and 2.) He defends his players and 3.) Could Calhoun ever pull this off?
#3 North Carolina Tar Heels @ #5 Duke Blue Devils
1. ) North Carolina guard Wayne Ellington and Duke guard Gerald Henderson were high school teammates that are now excelling at rival schools
This situation continues to be fascinating. High school teammates almost always stick together when they go to the next level. A few examples- Greg Oden and Mike Conley Jr. going to Ohio State and Paul Harris and Johnny Flynn going to Syracuse (current SU players Scoop Jardine and Rick Jackson also went to high school together). The Ellington/Henderson saga will reach a new level tomorrow night as each are finally living up to their hype. Each player can has the ability to take over games. Ellington with his ability to shoot and Henderson with his ability to slash. While they both play on the wing, they will most likely not guard each other, although this would make every possession that much more exciting. I'll give the edge to Henderson in this one because he has really turned it on lately, he'll be at home, and he caused the next reason that I'll be tuning in tomorrow night.
2.) The UNC/Duke rivalry is so intense that there is a possibility that Tyler Hansbrough might bleed, again
Tyler Hansbrough is one of those players that you either love or you hate. I hate him. I loved it when Gerald Henderson elbowed him in the face and made him spray blood all over the place. Sure he's had an amazing career, but he just seems like a loser. Here's a few examples that illustrate my point. At age 15, Hansbrough used his own money to hire a nutrionist to make sure he was eating healthy. Earlier this year, Hansbrough missed four games because of the possibility that he would get shin splints. He did not have them. There was no injury. He just had the conditions that normally lead to shin splints, which for the record is a pussy injury. Need more evidence that this kid is an L7 weenie? Look at this 'celebration' after hitting a game winning shot.
Hansbrough is easily in my top 3 least favorite college basketball players of all time. Rounding out the top 3 are Shane Battier (Duke '98-'01) and Joakim Noah (Florida '04-'07).
3.) Speaking of players you either love or hate
A six foot nothing white point guard from Syracuse that wears the #3 and likes to shoot the 3 ball? Who does this kid think he is? Gerry McNamara? Paulus, a fellow graduate of Christian Brothers Academy in Syracuse, has never beaten the Tar Heels on his home floor and as this article points out, it seems like he's been at Duke for the better part of a decade.
After an impressive performance in his return to the starting lineup against Miami, will the senior be able to lead his team to victory? He has often remarked, off the record anyway, that this Duke team goes as he goes. In that case, Duke fans better hope that his jump shot is falling. He doesn't have top of the line quickness and because of this he has relied more and more on his long range shot. He was impressive from behind the arc in his sophomore and junior seasons, shooting 45 and 42 percent respectively. However this season his numbers from deep have dipped to a below average 32 percent.
Paulus has certainly had his moments against the Tar Heels. He has stepped up both for the good (17.3 points per game in the past two seasons) and the bad. In a game loaded with talent on both sides he might not be the obvious x-factor, but expect him to play a pivotal role in either a win or a loss.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Truth in Advertising
In browsing one of the websites that I have conveniently posted a link to on the right hand side of the screen, I came across this concept. People if you trust me, I will lead you in the right direction.
If TV Shows Had Truthful Titles
I missed the boat on the Lost bandwagon and I now feel as if it's way too late for me to try to hop on board. The same thing happened for me with The Sopranos. Maybe one day I will get the dvd's to see what I missed. Lost has really become a hot button topic at the water cooler. Everywhere I go, whether it be in the cafeteria or in the hallways, I hear people talking to one another about their theories as to what is happening in this show. I'm a big closure guy, so I don't know how I'd feel about not knowing what was going on. Is it a flashback? Is it a scene from the future? I think this poster has it right, it's a cocktease.
All I know about ER is that this is their last season and that George Clooney used to be on it. I posted this one because of Stamos' run as Uncle Jesse on Full House. That character has become quite the cult legend since the show last aired. This website never really caught on like the Chuck Norris boom from a few years ago, but it is of the same ilk.
I'm a huge fan of Mad Men so naturally this poster appealed to me. Simply put, Jon Hamm's character Don Draper is the man. He gets hammered at work, sleeps with whoever he wants, and thinks of brilliant advertising concepts. The show won the Emmy for best Drama Series after only it's second season, yet not too many people know about it because it airs on AMC.
There's been plenty of CSI jokes, but this sums them all up.
Easily the best one. Women of all ages get off to this show. I had one of my movie crushes on the female lead of this show when she was in Old School. I thought she would remain an under the radar actress that had something about her, but sure enough she had to hit it off with this crap. Another actress from this show, Katherine Heigel, was nominated for an Emmy for her role, but got on her high horse and asked for the nomination to be revoked because she felt as if the writers didn't give her character enough to work with. I hope she gets knocked up by someone as ugly as Seth Rogan in real life.
Sex sells people. Sex sells. These girls became famous for one reason and one reason only, every guy in America wants to throw it in them. Their attractiveness is one thing, but the fact that they are stuck up and annoying makes guys want to teach them a lesson in the sack. That chick Heidi, who is dating or married to the blond haired joker, is the definition of a hate fuck. Girls don't have those, do they?
If I had one gun and one bullet to be used on someone in Hollywood I would eliminate Cloris Leachman. I don't even care that her biological clock is close to its end anyway. I can't deal with her anymore.
This website (www.holytaco.com) also did the same thing with movies, but I thought the TV ones were slightly better.
If TV Shows Had Truthful Titles
I missed the boat on the Lost bandwagon and I now feel as if it's way too late for me to try to hop on board. The same thing happened for me with The Sopranos. Maybe one day I will get the dvd's to see what I missed. Lost has really become a hot button topic at the water cooler. Everywhere I go, whether it be in the cafeteria or in the hallways, I hear people talking to one another about their theories as to what is happening in this show. I'm a big closure guy, so I don't know how I'd feel about not knowing what was going on. Is it a flashback? Is it a scene from the future? I think this poster has it right, it's a cocktease.
All I know about ER is that this is their last season and that George Clooney used to be on it. I posted this one because of Stamos' run as Uncle Jesse on Full House. That character has become quite the cult legend since the show last aired. This website never really caught on like the Chuck Norris boom from a few years ago, but it is of the same ilk.
I'm a huge fan of Mad Men so naturally this poster appealed to me. Simply put, Jon Hamm's character Don Draper is the man. He gets hammered at work, sleeps with whoever he wants, and thinks of brilliant advertising concepts. The show won the Emmy for best Drama Series after only it's second season, yet not too many people know about it because it airs on AMC.
There's been plenty of CSI jokes, but this sums them all up.
Easily the best one. Women of all ages get off to this show. I had one of my movie crushes on the female lead of this show when she was in Old School. I thought she would remain an under the radar actress that had something about her, but sure enough she had to hit it off with this crap. Another actress from this show, Katherine Heigel, was nominated for an Emmy for her role, but got on her high horse and asked for the nomination to be revoked because she felt as if the writers didn't give her character enough to work with. I hope she gets knocked up by someone as ugly as Seth Rogan in real life.
Sex sells people. Sex sells. These girls became famous for one reason and one reason only, every guy in America wants to throw it in them. Their attractiveness is one thing, but the fact that they are stuck up and annoying makes guys want to teach them a lesson in the sack. That chick Heidi, who is dating or married to the blond haired joker, is the definition of a hate fuck. Girls don't have those, do they?
If I had one gun and one bullet to be used on someone in Hollywood I would eliminate Cloris Leachman. I don't even care that her biological clock is close to its end anyway. I can't deal with her anymore.
This website (www.holytaco.com) also did the same thing with movies, but I thought the TV ones were slightly better.
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