Thursday, June 18, 2009

On Saying the Name of a Movie, in the Movie

So last night I watched the movie American History X (1998). For those of you that haven't seen it, the film is about a Neo-Nazi (played by Edward Norton) who gains perspective in prison and tries to steer his younger brother from going down the same path once he gets out. I enjoyed it, but about 10 minutes in a character dramatically says the title of the movie. While I didn't particularly like how it was done in this film, I'm still unsure as to how I generally feel about when this happens.


(my apologies for the poor quality, but the point remains)

I've seen the 'title of a movie dropped in dialogue' done very well. For example, I enjoyed how the drug dealer Cheese in one of my favorite movies of all time Gone, Baby Gone (2007) was the one to say the title. Also, I loved how Robert Downey, Jr. said "I am Ironman." at the end of Ironman (2008). I think a lot of this rests on the screenplay writer's ability to select a title.

1.) Do they think of a title and then write the screenplay? I think this was the case in Ironman.

2.) Do they think of a title and then try to incorporate (force) it into the dialogue of the screenplay? This is clearly what happened with Clear and Present Danger (1994). The phrase comes from a famous Supreme Court case concering free speech.

Or

3.) Do they write a screenplay and then go back and select the title from a line of dialogue? I think this was the case with As Good As it Gets (1997).

Monday, June 15, 2009

100 More Movie Quotes

This next post comes to you from a site called Pajiba. What the word "pajiba" means I couldn't tell you because it's not in the dictionary; however it is listed on urban dictionary. Either way, they compiled a list of 100 movie quotes that you'll never see on your standard lists of the"100 Best Movie Quotes." The reason that you'll never find any of them on those standard lists is because these quotes aren't socially significant. These quotes, for the most part, are more on the low end of things.

Here is the link that none of you will click, so I'll just go ahead and list the quotes myself. I've only seen about a third of the movies referenced, but some of the lines are just great.

100. “I love my dead gay son. —Heathers

99. “Where was ya, Wang? We was worried.” — Murder by Death

98. “Shut that cunt’s mouth or I’ll come over there and fuckstart her head!” —The Way of the Gun

97. “How am I not myself?” — I Heart Huckabees

96. “Welcome to Debbie Country.” — Singles

95. “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” Zoolander

94. “Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.’” — Spinal Tap

93. “This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.” — Swingers

92. “I hate you, and I hate your ass face!” — Waiting for Guffman

91. “Back and to the left. — JFK

90. “No, I said ‘allo,’ but that’s close enough.” — Labyrinth

89. “That’s bee-YOU-tee-ful, what is that, velvet?” — Coming to America

88. “It’s a moral imperative.” —Real Genius

87. “Go do that voodoo that you do so well!” — Blazing Saddles

86. “No dice, soldier.” —Brick

85. “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.” — Conan the Barbarian

84. “Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.” — Uncle Buck

83. “Do you concur?” “Damnit! Why didn’t I concur?!” — Catch Me If You Can

82. “The place where a U.S. soldier goes to defecate, relieve himself, open his bowel, shit, fart, dump, crap, and unload, is called the latrine. The la-trine, from the French.” — Biloxi Blues

81. “Big bottoms, big bottoms, talk about mudflaps, my girls got ‘em.” — Spinal Tap

80. “My life is as good as an Abba song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.” — Muriel’s Wedding

79. “Guns are for show. Knives are for pros.” — Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

78. “I shall call him Squishy. And he shall be mine. And he shall be MY Squishy.” — Finding Nemo

77. “I’ll sleep with you for a meatball.” —Victor/Victoria

76. “Follow me, or perish, sweater monkeys.” — Bring it On

75. “What’s a nubian?” — Chasing Amy

74. “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster by your side, kid.” — Star Wars

73. “You’ve got red on you.” — Shaun of the Dead

72. “I touched the earth, and he loved me back.” — Secretary

71. “Not you, fat Jesus.” — The Hangover

70. “This pile of shit has a thousand eyes.” — Stand By Me

69. “Oh God, not another fucking beautiful day.” —White Mischief

68. “She’s been fucked more times than she’s had a hot meal.” — Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

67. “I can’t believe I just gave my panties to a geek.” — Sixteen Candles

66. “It’s a veg-e-ta-ble.” —My Blue Heaven

65. “Goddammit, I’d piss on a spark plug if I thought it’d do any good! ” — War Games

64. “I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?” — Grosse Pointe Blank

63. “Now, you’ve got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.” — Pulp Fiction

62. “Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.” — Goodfellas

61. “Wolfman has nards!” — Monster Squad

60. “He’s an angel. He’s an angel straight from heaven!” — Raising Arizona

59. “Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup.” — High Anxiety

58. “Somebody’s got to go back and get a shitload of dimes.” — Blazing Saddles

57. “You idiots! These are not them! You’ve captured their stunt doubles!” — Spaceballs

56. “Bratwurst? Aren’t we the optimist?” —10 Things I Hate About You

55. “Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it.” — American Psycho

54. “I take your fucking bullets!” - -Scarface

53. “I’m kind of a big deal.” — Anchorman

52. “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it rains.” — Bull Durham

51. “We deal in lead, friend.” — The Magnificent Seven

50. “I don’t know, I mostly just hurt people.” —Alien Resurrection

49. “Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.” — Better Off Dead

48. “All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin’.” — Chasing Amy

47. “Let’s shag ass.” —The Royal Tenenbaums

46. “That’s atomized colloidal silver. It’s being pumped through the building’s air conditioning system, you cock-juggling thundercunt!” — Blade: Trinity

45. “I don’t understand. All my life I’ve been waiting for someone and when I find her, she’s … she’s a fish.” — Splash

44. “Demented and sad, but social.” — The Breakfast Club

43. “This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again.” — Ghost World

42. “GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE! — The Goonies

41. “Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don’t fall out of the sky, you know.” — Dogma

40. “They’ve done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.” — Anchorman

39. “Richie, would you do me a favor and eat my pussy for me… please?” — From Dusk til Dawn

38. “I’m hungry. Let’s get a taco.” — Reservoir Dogs

37. “They’re coming to get you, Barbara!” — Night of the Living Dead

36. “Maybe you’re the plucky comic relief.” — Galaxy Quest

35. “We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26…we were of that disposition.” — High Fidelity

34. “I used to fuck guys like you in prison” — Roadhouse

33. “Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.” — Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

32. “Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they’re fascist.” — Bull Durham

31. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!" — Dr. Strangelove

30. “Shut the fuck up, Donny.” — The Big Lebowski - I also like "PS, Shut the fuck up." from Van Wilder.

29. “If God did not want them shorn, he would not have made them sheep.” — The Magnificent Seven

28. “He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I’m afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died.” — Clue

27. “Nobody fucks with the Jesus.” — The Big Lebowski

26. “Meet me in Montauk.” — Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

25. “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” — Heathers

24. “That’s just the way it crumbles … cookie wise.” - The Apartment - We couldn't get "And that's the way the cookie crumbles." from Bruce Almighty?

23. “Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.” — The Rock

22. “Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big? — Spaceballs

21. “I aim to misbehave.” — Serenity

20. “People are so stupid I can’t bear to be around them anymore.” —Imaginary Heroes

19. “Fuck my cock!” — Wet Hot American Summer

18. “I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.” — The Big Lebowski

17. “The swan ate my baby!” — Drop Dead Gorgeous

16. “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker.” — Anchorman

15. “My grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.” — Annie Hall

14. “The Hammer is my penis.” — Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

13. “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.” — Almost Famous

12. “SQUIRREL!” — Up

11. “Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive.” — Airplane

10. “Inconceivable!” — The Princess Bride

9. “I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.” — High Fidelity

8. “My God. I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.” — Fight Club

7. “You’re killin’ me Smalls! — The Sandlot

6. “I was born a poor black child.” — The Jerk

5. “Ray, next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!” — Ghostbusters

4. “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. — The Shawshank Redemption

3. “I want my two dollars!” — Better Off Dead

2. “Son, you got a panty on your head.” — Raising Arizona

1. “It ain’t white boy day is it?” — True Romance

Monday, June 8, 2009

Guilty Pleasures

I make no secret about my anti-feminist stance. That is not to say that women don't deserve equal rights (they do). It's just that I think the feminists of the world pick and choose the wrong battles in their quest for equality. For example, in 2003 feminists got all hot and bothered because women were not allowed to be members at Augusta National. I could rant about the irrationality/hypocrisy behind their flawed logic, but I'll spare you from my wrath.

My staunch masculine agenda is part conviction, part unintentional, and part facade. In all honesty, I'm a supporter of women's rights, but like I said in the above paragraph, I am not a supporter of the women that champion this campaign. My opinion on the matter infuriates many, my mother included. She once thought that I made an anti-female remark before realizing that it was her brother (my uncle, who's the man) that was the one who made it. Apparently he said to her quite simply that he does not read books written by women. Upon hearing this, I went up to my room and perused my bookcase. Sure enough, every book that I had read was written by a man. (However it should be noted that I have read the first 4 Harry Potter books). Ever since then, I have held fast to my stance against feminist (or I guess just female) literature. I wish I could say the same about female music.

Most guys do their best to give off this macho male persona, but behind closed doors they are a sucker for plenty of what would be characterized as feminine things. Whether it's teen dramas on TV, romantic comedies, or female pop songs, the feminine things guys secretly enjoy are oftentimes referred to as "guilty pleasures." The point being, you feel guilty about enjoying something because you know others would criticize you for it.

Here now, are the top 10 songs by female artists that I secretly (well not anymore) enjoy.

10.) Taylor Swift- Love Story



This song was overplayed more than "The Macarena" and "Who Let the Dogs Out" combined, but I still think it's awesome. I know for a fact that I'm not the only guy that feels that way because a friend of mine introduced me to this song last Fall by making me watch this video. The inclusion of "Love Story" fulfills my Country song quota for this countdown, so I must give my apologies to what is now my second favorite Country song by a female artist.

9.) Natalie Imbruglia- Torn



I was 11 when this song came out and liking it wasn't exactly frowned upon then, but the fact that I still enjoy it gets it into the top ten. I mean, I had plenty of years to get over it, but somehow, someway it ended up on my ipod. I don't have a one hit wonder quota to fulfill, but if I did this one certainly would have covered it.

8.) Cyndi Lauper- Time After Time



Lauper's timeless classic first debuted in 1984 and was nominated for Song of the Year at the 1985 Grammy's (Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do with it came out on top). If LeBron likes it, why can't I, right?

Speaking of the '80's, it's a shame that there isn't enough room on the countdown for the 1982 Grammy Award winning hit "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes.


7.) Whitney Houston- One Moment in Time

This song was made for sports related picture/video montages. In fact, it was written for NBC's coverage of the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul (that's in South Korea, by the way). Now, my highschool football team was not littered with Olympians, but this song was a staple of our season highlight tape every year. A friend of mine actually once said that he watched the highlight tape over and over, just so he had an excuse to listen to this song.

Although the song was written for American Olympians, this video is still pretty cool.



6.) Christina Aguilera- What A Girl Wants



This might be the most difficult song on the list to admit to liking because the title is inherently female. "What A Girl Wants" came out at the peak of my TRL viewing career and it was a personal favorite of mine because I had a huge crush on Christina Aguilera. The video reinforced my belief that the female stomach is a very underrated feature. I think it's rarely talked about because it goes without saying that guys are superficial and obviously prefer skinny girls. Being skinny is great, but a little tone/definition on the belly can be an appealing attribute. Too much definition though, can be unattractive. It's a fine line, but something for women everywhere to strive for.

5.) Celine Dion- That's The Way It Is



The Blue Jays and Pamela Anderson aside, Celine Dion is the greatest thing to ever come out of Canada. As many of you know, I'm also a big fan of Celine's Christmas music, but there was no way I could have chosen a personal favorite from those, so I went in another direction. I mean, what can I say? Celine Dion's music has been force fed to me my entire life by driving in a car with my mother (For those of you that have their doubts, she does in fact have her license).

Back in the highschool, a girl burned me a copy of this Celine Dion album and gave it to me in front of a huge crowd in the middle of the hallway at school the next day. Knowing that I would face public scrutiny if my friends found out what was on the CD, I played it off and said, "Thanks for burning me the new Jay-Z CD. I really appreciate it." Thankfully she just laughed instead of blowing up my spot.

4.) One of my friends from home went on to play baseball in college at Florida Atlantic (I think). He was a left-handed starter in highschool, but they made him a closer in college. Some closers in the major leagues (namely Yankee closer Mariano Rivera) are known for their bad ass entrance music, so I asked my buddy what his was going to be. He responded with the 4th song on my countdown of guilty pleasure's:

Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone




3.) Michelle Branch- Breathe



This song is actually great for long road trips because it gives you a little pick me up if you are getting tired. I have this song on a CD that I made (Track 9) and you better believe that I used to casually skip it over when I was driving across the state of New York with my oldest brother.

2.) Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles



A few things about this song. 1.) Vanessa Carlton really one-upped The Proclaimers who would only walk 500 miles. 2.) Vanessa Carlton is smokin' hot in a free thinking artistic kind of way. 3.) I listened to this song 4 times in the course of this post.

And 4.) Back when this song first came out (circa 2003-04), two of my friends were driving somewhere and this song came on the radio. They obviously both loved the song, but didn't want the other to know. It prompted the following exchange, which is eerily similar to the scene from Tommy Boy (1995).

Friend A- You can change it if you want to.
Friend B- It's up to you.
Friend A- I don't care either way.
Friend B- I can deal with it if you can.

1.) Mariah Carey- Always Be My Baby


Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby (Official Music Video) -

Choosing this Mariah Carey song for me was a no-brainer because I may or may not know every word, but much like Celine Dion, I could have went with any number of her hits. I'm also a big fan of both "Hero" and "One Sweet Day" (featuring Boyz II Men). To date, Mariah still has the most #1 hits of any solo artist of all time. The only band with more #1's than her is The Beatles. It should come as no surprise then that they both have albums referencing their #1 hits. Mariah with the aptly titled #1's, which she released in 1998, and The Beatles with, The Beatles One, which was released in 2000.


Honorable Mention- Enya- "Only Time", Monica- "For You I Will", Jewel- "Hands", Avril Lavigne- "Complicated", Mandy Moore- "Candy", Jessica Simpson- "With You"

Monday, June 1, 2009

100 Movie Lines in 200 Seconds

As you all know, I fancy myself a movie aficionado; therefore when I see a link that says 100 Best Movie Lines in 200 seconds, I can't resist. Also, as I've previously stated, we are all suckers for any sort of list/countdown. VH1 has roped me into watching some awful countdowns that I'd rather not admit to viewing. This Movie Lines compilation is actually pretty good. I have to imagine that whoever threw this compilation together is under 40 because they pulled quotes from a lot of contemporary movies. Enjoy.



A few of my personal favorites include:

#12 from The Sandlot (1993)- The entire story that Squints tells is priceless. Also, I'm pretty sure The Sandlot is the movie that I have seen the most times in my lifetime. I want to say that Dumb and Dumber, Rudy, The Shawshank Redemption, and A Few Good Men round out the top 5.

#62 from Wall Street (1987)- Michael Douglas took home the Oscar for Best Actor in 1988 for his role as corporate raider Gordon Gecko. This famous line couldn't be more accurate. Greed is what fuels capitalism. Also, let the record show that I've been on an unintentional Michael Douglas movie binge of late. I can't think of a modern day comparison because we have so many lead actors now, but he was the guy in Hollywood during the late 80's and early 90's.

#79 from Scent of A Woman (1992)- Another Best Actor performance, this time by Al Pacino. I think this is my favorite of the 100 lines because I find myself saying it more and more.


I'm sure you noticed a few actors with more than one line in this list of the Best 100. I could have done my math wrong, but here is what I was able to tally up.

Jack Nicholson- 4
Arnold Schwarzenegger- 4
Tom Hanks- 3
Al Pacino-2
Bill Murray- 2
Brad Pitt- 2