Hate List

Last night I was searching online for books that twenty somethings would enjoy (if you have any suggestions let me know) and after I read through a couple of lists it hit me. When's the last time you sat down and actually wrote out a list of any kind? A "to do" list, a grocery list, whatever. Maybe it's that everyone spends all day on their blackberry or that no one has the time, but I feel like lists have become outdated. This, to me anyway, is rather unfortunate because lists can be very helpful. Lists help you remember things. For example, before I went to the grocery store the other day I looked through my kitchen to see what I needed. Aside from the usual items I told myself that I needed new ice trays. Now I'm way too confident in my memory to write out a grocery list, but sure enough when I got back I had forgotten to get new ice trays. It seems trivial and it kind of is because I don't really need ice trays at all, but that feeling when you realize that you forgot something is one that I don't enjoy.

As I got to thinking about lists I was reminded of one that a girl from my high school made a few years back. In the About Me section of her Facebook page she created a list of things that she hates; a "hate" list. For the record, it was more of a pet peeve list, but hate sounds much cooler. She still has the "hate" list up and running and updates it every once in a while. A few examples from her list are: ipod walkers, wet dogs, clouds, seaweed, and widescreen dvds. Now this of course got me thinking of the things that I hate. We'll start with an item from her list that I hate as well.

1.) One word text messages-I have a friend who's notorious for texting people the letter "o" as in "oh" and for angrily texting question marks when someone doesn't respond to a previous text within 10 minutes. Similarily can we please stop texting "k" and "ya" to one another? I mean, I guess the previous texter sometimes deserves a little bit of the blame for posing a simple yes or no question, but would it kill us to write "ok sounds good/ok will do" and "yeah that's right" instead?

2.) Women that keep their maiden name- This, to me, is the ultimate slap in the face. Marriage is a commitment and if you can't sacrifice your maiden name, then why even bother getting married in the first place? When a man asks you to marry him and you say yes, you know going in that it's expected of you to take his last name as your own. Don't get on your high horse like a raging feminist and think about keeping your maiden name in any capacity. This hyphenated shit is out of control. I mean, if you keep your maiden name or try this hyphenated nonsense things will get real messy when you have kids.

3.) Cigarette smoking- This is my number one pet peeve. I can't figure out why twenty somethings smoke cigs. Not only is it extremely unhealthy, it's unattractive. Did the D.A.R.E campaign teach my peers nothing?

I give people above the age of 40 a pass for smoking cigarettes because back then they didn't know how bad they were for their lungs, but kids my age have no excuse for their chain smoking. Cigarette smoking also bothers me because it leads to cigarette breaks. For example, a girl I work with takes about 5 cigarrette breaks per shift. If the workload picks up she "can't handle it" and needs the stress relief of a cig.

It should be noted that I'm no saint when it comes to smoking. I smoke the occasional cigar and hookah, but I would guess that I do about as much harm to my lungs in a year that the average smoker does in a week.

4.) Drew Barrymore- She's unattractive and annoying.

5.) People that wait at a 4-way stop sign until an oncoming car comes to a complete stop before they go- I guess it doesn't hurt to be better safe than sorry, but come onnnn. Isn't it a bit over cautious to assume that everyone is going to blow right through a stop sign?

6.) Pocket dialing- A friend from highschool that I virtually never speak to must have pocket dialed me 15 times in June/July. I answered the first few times thinking he had something relevant to tell me, but all I heard was mumbled conversation. The next few times I just silenced the calls and moved on with my life. Then I started hitting ignore and calling him right back, but he never answered. Then one time I answered, hung up and sent him a text that said, "Dude, what's goin on here? You keep pocket dialing me?" He responded by saying, "No I didn't. I just wanted to see how youre doing." I was literally stunned. This clown had been pocket dialing me for a month and when I called him out on it he tried to play it off like he was trying to keep in touch. Un-beeeee-lievvvv-able. Sure enough I got two more pocket calls from him later that week.

7.) Touchdown. Commercial. Kickoff. Commercial.- There are plenty of enough natural breaks in a football game (touchdowns/field goals, changes of possession, timeouts, the end of quarters, and the two minute warnings) for commercials.

8.) The word "cliche"- I have a long standing belief that the word "cliche" is overused. To me, it's a catchy word that every kid in America thought was cool to say. "That's so cliche." "What a cliche answer." etc. I also hate unoriginal (cliche) romantic notions like asking a girl out/to marry you on Valentine's Day/New Year's Eve. I must say, however, that the greatest advice I've ever given was when I told a friend to break up with his long term girlfriend at 11:50 on December 31st by saying that he wanted to start the new year off right.

9.) People that smack their lips when they eat- A few of my former roommates smacked their lips so loud when they ate that I couldn't function within a 20 foot radius of them. Maybe I'm just ultra sensitive about the issue because my brother and I used to yell at each other for doing it as kids at the dinner table, but it's like nails on a chalk board to me now.

10.) The "Happy Bday (Insert name here)" Facebook wall post- If you know someone well enough to write a happy birthday message on their Facebook wall then take a little time and think of something else to say other than just "Happy Bday (Insert name here)"


Now I'll continually update this list whenever I think of more things that I hate. Suggestions are welcome.