Leading Role: Cameron Diaz

It's hard to believe, but Cameron Diaz is 37. After auditioning for and landing a role in The Mask at the ripe, young age of 21 with no prior acting experience, Diaz has skyrockted to the top of the Hollywood elite. She's starred in numerous feature films, but which role is she most known for? If she were to give up acting tomorrow (and by the looks of this new movie The Box she might want to consider it), what role, other than her relationship with Justin Timberlake, would she be most known for?

1.) Tina Carlyle in The Mask (1994)



In this film Diaz played the damsel in distress as an eye catching nightclub singer. Although it was a minor role (it was still the female lead) it turned out to be her breakthrough performance.

Most Memorable Lines:



Synopsis- Forget about her acting for a minute, Cameron Diaz was smoking hot in this movie. In fact, she's so attractive in this film that I made it into an adjective. In describing good looking girls sometimes I say, "She's like Cameron Diaz in The Mask hot," just like how on hot, sweaty days in the summer some people say, "It's Africa hot out."

Similarly, my boy Browny has told me a number of times that he got his first ever erection while watching The Rock (1996). In the beginning there's a scene where Vanessa Marcil (who I love) is stradling Nicolas Cage in a car. Now I can't exactly remember my first career boner, but if I had to guess I'd go with Cameron Diaz in The Mask. By the way, phenomenal conversation piece for guys.


2.) Mary in There's Something About Mary (1998)



In this Farrelly brothers comedy Cameron plays the girl that seemingly all guys fall for. Every guy knows that, "there's just something about her" feeling and I think this was the first time it was ever explicitly portrayed on the silver screen.

Most Memorable Lines:

Ted: Do you think maybe you wanna maybe, I don't know, go out to dinner, you know, catch up on old times?
Mary: Didn't we just do that?
Ted: Oh, uh...
Mary: I'm fucking with you, Ted!

Mary: I want a guy who can play 36 holes of golf, and still have enough energy to take Warren and me to a baseball game, and eat sausages, and beer, not lite beer, but beer. That's my ad, print it up.
Brenda: "Fatty who likes golf and beer." Gee, Mary, where are you gonna find a gem like that?

Pat Healy: My real passion is my hobby.
Mary: Really, what's that?
Pat Healy: I work with retards.
Mary: Isn't that a little, uhm, politically incorrect?
Pat Healy: Well, heh, to hell with that... no one's going to tell me who I can and can't work with, right?
Mary: No, I mean...
Pat Healy: We got this one kid, Mongo... He's got a forehead like a drive-in movie theatre, but he's a good ship. So we don't bust his chops too much. So, one day Mongo gets out of his cage...
Mary: They keep him in a cage?
Pat Healy: Well, it's just an enclosure...
Mary: No, but they keep him confined?
Pat Healy: Right, yeah.
Mary: That's bullshit!
Pat Healy: Well, that's what I said! So, I went out and I got him, uh, I got him a leash.
Mary: A leash?
Pat Healy: Yeah, one of those ones you can hook on the clothesline, and he can run back and forth and, uh, there's plenty of room for him to dig and play. That kid is really, uh, he's really blossomed.

Synopsis- In many ways this is Cameron's signature role. Not only is she the central figure of the film, but she sort of is her character Mary in real life. She's quirky, goofy, and fun and everybody seems to like her even though she's never really had a critically acclaimed performance.


3.) Christina Pagniacci in Any Given Sunday (1999)



In this film she plays a young, bitchy woman who has just inherited a professional football team.

Most Memorable Lines:

Christina Pagniacci: No intensity, no victory.

Christina Pagniacci: [in passing a player in the locker room exposed in all his manhood] Don't stiffen on me.

Synopsis- This role was a little out of Cameron's league, but I think she had a good grasp of the feisty, cold-heartedness that was needed to play Pagniacci. She kind of reminds me of the female owner in Major League (1989) except that she definitely has much more sex appeal. There's just something about women in power that attracts men. I think it's that guys want to see them in a situation where they no longer have the power, so to speak, and most guys feel like they can achieve this goal sexually.


4.) Jenny Everdeane in Gangs of New York (2002)



This is probably the best movie that Cameron Diaz has ever been in and her role as the most attractive girl in town, who happens to be a thief, is a minor one, but again it's the female lead.

Most Memorable Lines:

Bill: Anything in your pockets?
Jenny: I ain't started working yet.

Amsterdam Vallon: Is there anyone in the five points you haven't fucked?
Jenny: Yes, you.

Jenny: When I was twelve years old, my mother was dead, and I was livin' in a doorway. He took me in. Took care of me, in his way. After they cut out the baby... well, he doesn't fancy girls that's scarred up. But you might as well know in your own mind that he never laid a hand on me until I asked him to.

Synopsis- It's kind of hard to stand out in a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio and Daniel Dey-Lewis, but that's not to say that Cameron's performance was bad. In fact, she was good, but I don't think anyone thinks of her when Gangs of New York is brought up.


5.) Amanda Woods in The Holiday (2006)



Don't judge me because I've seen this movie. A girl made me watch it. In this film Cameron plays one of my dream professions. She's an editor of movie trailers, which I doubt is an actual profession. Wouldn't the director just take care of it? Either way, in the film she gets fed up with the hustle and bustle of everyday life and decides to take a vacation. She ends up swapping houses with a woman from England (Kate Winslet) and she falls in love with that woman's brother (Jude Law).

Most Memorable Lines:

Amanda: I need some peace and quiet... or whatever it is people go away for.

Amanda: You know Graham, I just broke up with someone and considering you just showed up and you're insanely good-looking and probably won't remember me anyway...
I'm thinking we should have sex... If you want.
Graham: Is that a trick question?

Amanda: Sex makes everything more complicated. Even not having it, because the not having it... makes it complicated.

Graham: Long distance relationships can work, you know.
Amanda: Really? I can't make one work when I live in the same house with someone.

Synopsis- This romantic comedy was interesting because 2 of the 4 stars aren't the least bit funny (Winslet and Law). What they did was pair the funny leads (Diaz and Jack Black) with the not so funny ones. The movie still isn't funny by my standards, but I certainly applaud their effort. Cameron plays her part quite well, but I don't think it stands out at all. The dual storyline sort of jumbles everything together.


6.) Joy McNally in What Happens in Vegas (2008)



This is quickly becoming one of my favorite movies of all time even though it gets negative points for featuring Queen Latifah. Diaz is once again in her wheelhouse playing a day trader at the NYSE who needs a break after being dumped by her fiance. Her goofy and fun personality shines so bright that it made me like Ashton Kutcher.

Most Memorable Lines:

Tipper: You know what? I can get a couple of my brother's loser ass friends to go over to Mason's apartment, knock on the door and when he opens it wham! They'll junk-punch him all up in his man business and he'll fall to the floor whaling and crying "Why?" and then we'll say "You know why!"
Joy McNally: Wow! Did you just make that up?
Tipper: No, I thought about it a lot on the way over

Joy McNally: Is there any part of the night, I don't know, maybe say the part where I was about to marry the rebound guy, that you thought, 'hey oh my God, this is a really good time for an intervention'?
Tipper: Seriously?
Joy McNally: Yeah.
Tipper: I like... threw up in my own purse... so...

Joy McNally: The grown-ups have to go to work today... What are you going to do all day?
Jack Fuller: I don't know yet
[shoves cereal in mouth]
Joy McNally: Hmph.
Jack Fuller: I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love.
Joy McNally: Words to live by, Yanni.

Synopsis- The movie is hysterical, but as you can see Cameron doesn't really have many of the funny lines. She is sort of the serious, uptight one, but that unravels as her relationship with Kutcher develops.

When I think of Cameron Diaz I now think of this movie. It's literally her ideal role. It's a hysterical romantic comedy and her character's personality in many ways mirrors her own.

Flipping the Script

New York Yankees 3B Alex Rodriguez has 5 HRs and 12 RBIs in just nine games so far this postseason. Talent wise these gaudy numbers make sense, but up until this year A-Rod's postseason production as a Yankee has been horrendous. In fact, in his first 24postseason games with the Yanks ('04-'07) he had a grand total of nine RBIs.

How do we explain this recent stretch of playoff success?

The easy answer would be that his steroids secret is out and the pressure is off, but there's definitely more to it than that.

In 2000, Rodriguez became the highest paid player in baseball by signing a 10 year $252 million dollar contract with the Texas Rangers. Ever since that point A-Rod has been (excuse the pun) a lightning rod of media criticism and he hasn't handled it well.

Case in point, he once said "When people write bad things about me, I don't know if it's because I'm good-looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team."

There's no doubt that being under the microscope has made A-Rod a headcase. Until now he's been so concerned with what everyone else thinks of him that he hasn't been able to perform when it matters most. For the longest time it was like he was playing the "what if" game in his head while at the plate. I think it started with, "What will the papers say about me if I get this clutch hit?" and soon turned into, "What will the papers say about me if I don't get this clutch hit?"

He's so obsessed with being praised that his focus is more on that than allowing his physical tools to take over. It's sort of like when I pick my head up to look at a golf shot before I actually hit it. About 99% of the time that shot is terrible.

A-Rod so desperately wants everything to be perfect that when things go wrong he gets easily frustrated. When his relationship with Jeter was obviously a little strained, he kept avoiding questions about it before finally saying, "The reality is there's been a change in the relationship over 14 years and, hopefully, we can just put it behind us. You go from sleeping over at somebody's house five days a week, and now you don't sleep over. It's just not that big of a deal."

A-Rod is also a head case because the media has exposed his personal life. Some say that his personal life should not be covered, but others say that it's the price he pays for being a celebrity. Either way, in May of '07 A-Rod was photographed entering a hotel with a blonde woman in Toronto. It was later revealed that she was an exotic dancer from Las Vegas. Over a year later, in July of '08, his wife filed for divorce amidst swirling rumors about A-Rod's relationship with Madonna.



To me, his relationship with Madonna was rock bottom. I mean, there were reports of late night helicopter rides to each other's apartments, she got him into Kaballah (the mystical aspect of Judaism), and an identified source claims that A-Rod once said, "She's my fucking soulmate."

A-Rod's turnaround (if you will) began when he soon became "bored" with Kaballah and essentially kicked Madonna to the curb. What I think really happened is that A-Rod realized that Madonna (one of only a handful of women in the world that is more well known than him) is more of a whack job than he is. At first he was like, "This is cool. I'm plowing Madonna. She's really famous. We have a spiritual connection." And then the more time he spent with her the more he realized that she was out of her mind. He finally saw a relationship from the other side and it scared the shit out of him.

By the time A-Rod got over Madonna another shitstorm was waiting on his doorstep. In February of 2009 Sports Illustrated's Selena Roberts reported that A-Rod had tested positive for anabolic steroids back in 2003. A-Rod, with his orange skin and purple lips , finally faced the music and admitted that he used banned substances from 2001-2003 citing the enormous amount of pressure that he was under. While some see this as the lowest of lows for A-Rod I see it as the second step to his emotional turnaround (getting freaked out by Madonna being the first step).

The final step in A-Rod's 180 started in May when it was first reported that he was dating Kate Hudson. Hudson is perfect for Rodriguez for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost she's a big name babe, but she's not a bigger name that A-Rod. Furthermore she's previously dated a superstar athlete (Lance Armstrong), a headcase (Owen Wilson), and like A-Rod she's a divorced parent. Also, not for nothing, she grew up in the world of celebrity (she is the daughter of Goldie Hawn).



The turnaround is now complete, but only because A-Rod has shown that he is immune to an ailment that has plagued many a man throughout the course of time. This ailment, of course, is most commonly known as Girlfriend Syndrome (GFS). Whether it be a high school player (virtually every guy you know) or a professional athlete (Tony Romo, among others) guys have a tendency to perform miserably whenever they know that their girlfriend/love interest is watching them compete in person. If a guy knows that his girlfriend is in the audience he'll usually press and try too hard to impress her with his skills on the field/court. Somehow A-Rod still crushes the ball even though he knows that Hudson is sitting right there behind the Yankee dugout. Honestly I can't tell what he's hitting harder, the ball or her vagina after the games.

Now that the Yankees have made it to the World Series all eyes will be on A-Rod to see how he performs on baseball's biggest stage. Will he continue to be a force in the middle of the Yankee lineup or will he revert back to his old postseason ways?

"Dr." Pepper

Dr. Pepper, my favorite non-alcoholic beverage, has launced another advertising campaign featuring a famous "Doctor". Last year their pitch man was NBA legend Dr. J and I loved the commercial. This year they've selected rap/hip hop artist/producer Dr. Dre (Andre Romelle Young) and I'm not so sure how I feel about the selection.



Now I personally have no problem with Dr. Dre, but the fact that he was chosen as the spokesman for this campaign makes me wonder about the direction of Dr. Pepper's advertising. Are they now gearing their ads towards the African-American community? Of course this strategic marketing campaign is by no means new. For example, McDonald's shifted their focus to the black community back in 2003 when they came up with the slogan "I'm Lovin' it".

Now in the more likely scenario (which is that I'm 100% wrong) they just really like their "Trust me, I'm a Doctor" campaign and plan on continuing to use celebrity "Doctors" as their spokesmen.

Which begs the question, "Who will they choose next?"

Here are a few candidates that I thought of off the top of my head:

1.) Dr. Dolittle (Eddie Murphy)



If the powers that be at Dr. Pepper went this route I'd be right back on board with my inkling that my favorite soft drink is being marketed directly to the African-American community. Eddie Murphy's popularity may have decreased in the last decade or so, but he was the prominent African-American celebrity in the 1980s.

Also not for nothing, I know a girl whose dentist is named Dr. Dolittle and she's terrified of him.


2.) Dr. Phil



I've never been a Dr. Phil fan, but apparently he has some sort of national appeal. I'm sure you've all seen it, but everytime I hear Dr. Phil's name I can't help but think of this.


3.) Dr. J.D. Dorian (Zach Braff)



Is Scrubs still on the air? I know it was picked up by ABC, but did that last for a full season? Scrubs is one of those shows that I never really got into, but I've seen a bunch of episodes and I've never really been disappointed.

For some reason I get that the feeling that Braff is the most likely of all of my nominees to actually get picked and agree to doing commercials for Dr. Pepper.


4.) "McDreamy" Dr. Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey)



There's no question that the mere thought of "McDreamy" makes the majority of white suburban women cream themselves and considering that they are the primary grocery shoppers I think this would make for an extraordinarily successfil advertising campaign.


5.) Dr. House (Hugh Laurie)



I've heard nothing but good things about this show and I still have yet to see a single episode. From what I can tell the character House seems like the man so I would be thrilled if he was chosen to represent my favorite soft drink.


6.) Dr. Christian Troy and Dr. Sean McNamara



Nip/Tuck used to be a phenomenal show, but in the past few seasons it has just gotten completely ridiculous. I guess weird storylines come with the territory when your protaganists are plastic surgeons, but enough is enough. This series has dragged on for two seasons too many.


7.) Dr. James Andrews



Dr. James Andrews is the most famous orthopedic surgeon in the country. Whenever a high profile athlete needs surgery they go to Dr. James Andrews. He's so famous that he has the reverse Cher/Madonna appeal. He's one of those people that is always referred to by his full name.

While he's definitely very well known among the sports community, he definitely isn't very visibly. In fact, until I googled him less than a minute ago I never knew what he looked like (Not gonna lie, I thought he was younger).

I'm not sure if he has any commercial appeal, but if any true sports fan heard/saw his name they would immediately know who he was. Now that I think of it that's a pretty good question to ask someone (I'm looking at you every girl I know that's ever said the following) who claims to be "a huge sports fan. If they don't answer "Dr. James Andrews" to the question, "Who is the doctor that all of the big time athetes go to when they need surgery?" than they are not a true sports fan.

Top 10 Albums

Recently on a pop culture blog that I frequent readers were encouraged to send in their top 10 desert island albums. The idea being that if you were stranded on a desert island and you could have 10 albums there with you what would they be? This of course assumes that there's a cd player somewhere on the island, which is about as far fetched as the entire stranded on a desert island notion. Basically readers were asked to send in a list of their top 10 albums. When I started to think of what I would put in my top 10 I realized that we don't really appreciate or even think in terms of albums in our age of file sharing, illegal downloading, and the iTunes store. Now maybe I'm way off and it's just me and my somewhat distant relationship with the world of music (I've only purchased 2 CD's in 2009). I do read/skim Rolling Stone every month though.

Either way, I went ahead and compiled a list of my top 10 albums, but I did so according to a few rules.

1.) I must already own at least half of the albums on my list.
2.) Greatest Hits albums are allowed, but only ones that are contained to a single disc.

(in no particular order)


1.) Dookie (1994) by Green Day



Favorite Tracks: 7.) Basket Case, 10.) When I Come Around

Synopsis: Although I hesistate to call them my favorite band, I own more Green Day CD's (4) than any other artist/band. I loved Dookie as a 13 year old and I still love it now, a decade later. I mean, with a name like Dookie how can I not? This is one of those albums that you can listen to from start to finish over and over. It's short (only 39:46), but packed with that pure punk/rebel edge that Green Day is known for.


2.) Complete Greatest Hits (2002) by Foreigner



Favorite Tracks: 14.) Jukebox Hero, 15.) I Want to Know What Love Is

Synopsis: Foreigner is the first of two British rock bands on this list that have more hits than you initially realize. I'm fairly confident that you have all heard at least 6 of the songs on this album at some time in your lives.

I've been told that one of my friends from college used to get into a personal trance before high school hockey games whenever he heard "Jukebox Hero" like one of Elaine's boyfriends in a Seinfeld episode did when he heard The Eagles hit "Desperado".


3.) U218 Singles (2006) by U2



Favorite Tracks: 3.) Pride (In the Name of Love), 9.) Where the Streets Have No Name, 11.) Sunday Bloody Sunday

Synopis: U2 has released some very good studio albums, but none of them have enough of my favorite songs, so I had to opt for U218, which is a greatest hits type compilation. Back in college a friend and I had a radio show for about a year and a half. We mainly played rock, punk, and alternative music, but we also played a "Rap/Hip Hop Pick of the Week" and a "Girly Pick of the Week". One of our 10 listeners (my brother) seemingly requested "Sunday Bloody Sunday" every week, so during our second year on the air we started a "U2 Pick of the Week". It worked out well for a while but eventually the show folded and I think it's fair to say that Thursday afternoons on WVOF were never the same.


4.) Best of Volume I (1996) by Van Halen



Favorite Tracks: 9.) Why Can't This Be Love, 13.) Right Now, 14.) Can't Stop Lovin' You

Synopsis: If Van Halen doesn't get your blood flowing I don't know what will. I'm not much of a concert goer, but Van Halen currently sits atop my list of bands I wan't to see live. Fun fact- the song "Right Now" is featured on my high school lacrosse team's highlight videos from both my junior and senior years and I coincidentally score a goal on both videos just as the song picks up.

Although the album is called Best of Volume I, there is no Best of Volume II.


5.) Back in Black (1980) by AC/DC



Favorite Tracks: 1.) Hells Bells, 7.) You Shook Me All Night Long

Synopsis: Is there any doubt that AC/DC is the greatest thing ever to come out of the country/continent of Australia? Although I try to avoid being mainstream (it's the second best-selling album of all time, trailing only Thriller), this CD was too good to leave off of my list. "Hells Bells" gets me all sorts of fired up in that calm/intense kind of way.


6.) Vault: Def Leppard Greatest Hits (1980-1995) (1995) by Def Leppard



Favorite Tracks: 2.) Photograph, 6.) Animal

Synopsis- The second British band that has more hit songs that you initially think. I bought this CD back in January and it's definitely in the running for my best purchase of the year. This album is like a movie that you see once and sort of enjoy, but when you see it for a 2nd and 3rd time you start ranting and raving about how good it is.


7.) Street Dreams (2003) by Fabolous



Favorite Tracks: 2.) Not Give A Fuck, 10.) This Is My Party, 17.) Throw Back

Synopsis: Let me just say that I am by no means an advocate of this genre of music, nor do I keep up with who has beef with who, etc., but I do enjoy me some rap every once in a while. I'm probably the whitest kid you know, but everyone needs a little variety from time to time. I particularly enjoy "Throw Back" because of the references to all of the sports franchises, mascots, and athletes.

Having this album on my list also fulfills my rap quota and while I'm on the topic of quotas/other genres of music I should have you know that I did not add a Country album to the list, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I wanted to add an Alan Jackson album (whoa, alliteration), but none of his greatest hits albums contained "It's 5 o'clock Somewhere" and this was a dealbreaker for me.

Other rap/hip hop albums that I own:

1.) The Black Album (2003) by Jay-Z
2.) 2001 (1999) by Dr. Dre
3.) The Eminem Show (2002) by Eminem
4.) Real Talk (2004) by Fabolous
5.) We Are The Streets (2000) by The LOX
6.) Graduation (2007) by Kanye West
7.) Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (2003) by OutKast (does this one even count?)


8.) Greatest Hits (1995) by Bruce Springsteen



Favorite Tracks: 2.) Thunder Road, 4.) The River, 10.) Glory Days

Synopsis: Although I despise the state of New Jersey (mainly for the parkways that turn into expressways that turn into turnpikes that turn back into parkways), I've got to give it up for The Boss. Springsteen's performance at this year's Superbowl was one of the few halftime shows that I have ever looked forward to, let alone watched. Seriously, he is the epitome of Americana.

Bruce is also one of the only artists whose music attracts both fathers and sons. In fact I don't think any of my friends have ever told me that they were going to a non-Bruce concert with their dad. One of my friends even claims that his dad never gave him "the talk", but he instead told him to listen to "The River". Funny thing is, I believe him.


9.) Piano Man: The Very Best of Billy Joel (2004) by Billy Joel



Favorite Tracks: 1.) Tell Her About It, 12.) Scenes From an Italian Restaurant

Synopsis: The album cover might prevent me from ever actually buying it, but that's okay because I have a few Billy Joel mixes that I've made over the years. Billy has so many hit songs that it's hard for him to put them all on one CD (most of his compilations have multiple discs), but this one has enough of my favorites to make my list. I was actually surprised to see a CD that included "Uptown Girl" (a song that he no longer performs live), "We Didn't Start the Fire", and "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant".

It also should be noted that this album contains two potential wedding songs in "She's Got a Way" and "Just the Way You Are" if I ever decide to get married.


10.) Third Eye Blind (1997) by Third Eye Blind



Favorite Tracks: 6.) How's It Going to Be, 8.) Burning Man

Synopsis: I used to have a 12 song playlist on my iPod of all Third Eye Blind songs that I would fall asleep to every night during my sophomore year of college. In fact, Third Eye Blind sort of has that college, alternative rock sound that I think many of us can relate to. Their music, even though it's borderline pop sometimes, seems to speak directly to the issues that we all faced while growing up.

Year One

No, not the horrendous Jack Black/Michael Cera film (which ironically comes out on DVD this week), but it was a little more than a year ago that my friend Mike suggested that I start this blog. Once I decided to actually enter into the blogosphere the next step was to think of a name. I wanted something obscure, but catchy and as soon as my friend Matty K suggested "The Shampoo Effect" I had one of those "Yup, that's it" reactions.

Matty K suggested "The Shampoo Effect" because it was somewhat of an old joke we had back in college. It all started when a bunch of us went to South Padre, Texas for Spring Break during our senior year. We got there on a Saturday afternoon and hit the bar/club scene hard on that initial night. The next morning we were all still pretty buzzed in our condo, but we decided to ride the wave, so we started cracking brews left and right. It was at this point that one of my former roommates, Glancy, said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys. Remember, the shampoo effect." I swear there was silence for a good 5-6 seconds after he spoke. We were all sitting their glossy-eyed with brews in hand trying to make sense of what Glancy had just said. Finally someone said, "Glance, what the fuck are you talking about?", which is exactly what the rest of us were thinking. Then in what I think could only be characterized as a slur infested, mumbled response Glancy said, "Uhh well, you know. When you wash your hair you uhh rinse and repeat." Someone quickly interjected here and made a joke about Glancy not knowing anything about washing his hair. Glancy then continued, "No, when you wash your hair you rinse and repeat. You shampoo it. Then rinse. Then you shampoo it again, but the second time you don't need as much shampoo."

What he meant was that because we were all still feeling the effects of the night before we wouldn't need as much alcohol to get drunk again. Why he tried to warn us about getting too drunk on Spring Break and why he decided to use such an absurd reference, I'll never know, but the story doesn't end there. Our first weekend back to school just so happened to be St. Patrick's Day. The 17th was actually on a Monday, but the celebration was planned for all day Sunday. Most of us (the varsity team) had not only abused our bodies the entire week before on Spring Break, but we went out hard on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday(which was my birthday), and Saturday. Collllllllllllegggggge.

By the time Sunday morning's St. Patrick's day celebration rolled around most people were a little worn out. Matty K and I walked around the party together and just about every girl we talked to said something to the effect of, "I'm so tired. I can't believe I'm drinking right now." Upon hearing them say some variation of this, the K Man or I would very matter of factly say, "Right, of course. The shampoo effect." Without fail the girl would have no clue what we meant so she would say, "What's the shampoo effect?" Matty K or I would then say, "Ask Glancy about it." We must have had this same conversation with no joke 15-20 different girls. It got to the point where it was too easy. Some girls said things like, "I think I'm still drunk from last night." It was like clockwork.

Now the best part was actually seeing the girls go up to Glancy to ask him what the hell the shampoo effect was. It should be noted that he drank an entire bottle of Jameson by himself that day. At first he would just tell each girl what he told us all in Texas, but by the 6th time a girl asked him he started to get aggravated. It didn't help that everytime a girl came up to him Matty K and I were somewhere close by laughing our faces off. As the whiskey started to take its affect he started to not even respond to the girl and just turn in our general direction and say, "Go fuck yourselves." To Matty K and I it was one of those things that got funnier every time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now over the course of the last year I have found enough spare time in my busy schedule of watching sports, dumping, and sleeping to string together exactly 100 posts. Of those 100 there are plenty that I like, but also plenty that I'm not too wild about. As The Shampoo Effect rolls into year two, let's take a look back at some of the highlights of year one.

1.) Hang out with your wang out (October 13th, 2008)- In this post I tackled both the unwritten rules that govern the male bathroom and how much of a d bag former Providence point guard Donnie McGrath is.

2.) Gaydar (November 18th, 2008)- When I found out that my friend had been dating his girlfriend for 6 years I began to wonder if the relationship was just a cover up for his homosexuality.

Remember that he is the one that you hear singing in this video.



3.) The three chicks I'd marry tomorrow (December 3rd, 2008)- In this post I went a little soft and discussed three female movie characters that I would have no doubts about marrying if they were actual people. I must say that my readers offered some very good suggestions in the comments section of this post.

4.) You say you a gangsta, but you neva pop nothin'. We say you a wanksta and you need to stop frontin' (January 15th, 2009)- Too often suburban white kids like me turn rap/hip hop mainstream. In this post I presented the top 10 offenses of this wide spread epidemic.

5.) Friends before Fame (August 3rd, 2009)- I stumbled across an article that listed celebrity duos that were roommates before they became famous. Naturally I wondered which of my former roommates would join me in the world of celebrity down the road.

Since the time of this post, I'm happy to report that one of my former roommates has made some strides in building their celebrity resume. Last month my cousin took part in the filming of a documentary on a book written by NBA Hall of Famer Kareem Abdul Jabbar.



He is to the left of Kareem in the picture and ironically enough what he sees when he looks in the mirror is to the right of Kareem in the picture.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Year One recap wouldn't be complete unless I included my first ever blog post. It brings me great joy to think that the first words that I ever wrote on this blog were, "Poop is the great equalizer."

Story of my life



"It's water, straight fucking water."

Poop is the great equalizer. It is one of the very few things that we all have in common yet somehow we, as a society, have branded this bond with disdain. Despite the negative connotation surrounding the process of squeezing some chocolate sauce out, pooping has managed to have a rather successful career in comedy. Everybody loves a good poop story and most people have a few about the old number two. Now I have quite the pooping resume, but this one has got to take the cake as the best one going. I can not get enough of this grown man, a sports icon, readily admitting to pooping his pants twice a year on average.

The Wonder Years

The truth about growing up is that there's a bit of sad irony involved. What I mean is that when we were kids we couldn't wait to be adults, but now that we are I think most of us wish we could go back. Or at least most of us wish that we were still free to live like we did when we were kids. As kids adulthood seemed so appealing. There were all sorts of things, like driving for example, that we couldn't wait to grow up and do. As fate would have it, now it's childhood (i.e. growing up) that we glorify. Unfortunately, we can't go back in time and be kids again, but every once in a while we are lucky enough to get a taste of what our formative years were like.

This past weekend I went to Long Island and met up with some of my friends from high school. They were all going to the Red Sox/Yankees game on Saturday and ironically enough I was working on that very game from a studio in CT, but I still made the trip down to hang out with them on Friday night. Two friends drove in from the city of hopes and dreams, another friend took a flight in from Boston after work while still dressed in his business attire, and two others live and attend medical school together in LI.

Now even though driving through the NYC area during rush hour on a Friday may have been one of the worst decisions that I've ever made, I'm glad that I went. I hadn't seen or really even talked to any of these friends in months, so it was great to hang out with them for a few hours.

As old friends often do, we sat around and caught up with each other's lives while throwing back a few cold ones. Naturally we mixed in plenty of stories about our old high school days and as we laughed and reminisced it literally felt like we were all still 17. In fact, after a verbal exchange with the lone female of the group (one of the med school students) one friend remarked that it was comforting to know that some people haven't changed a bit. Shortly thereafter he and I discussed how much time had passed since we all really became friends in 10th grade (8 years).

This conversation has stuck with me ever since. First and foremost, I couldn't have agreed any more with his comment. It's a good feeling when someone acts in the very way that you remember them. Knowing that they are being themselves puts a smile on your face. Too often in the real world we have to deal with people that put up a facade of formalness to impress their boss/co-workers. I mean, I get that you should always be conscious of putting your best foot forward in the workplace, but some people are just so uptight that they never let their guard down and their personality out.

Now even though I too got that sense that none of us had really changed since highschool, I’m quite certain that we all actually have to some degree. Whether we know it or not, our environment and varied life experiences are constantly shaping us into the people that we are today. Our personalities are by no means static. For example, I am unquestionably older, wiser, and perhaps even a bit more mature than I was in high school.

We get the sense that our old friends haven’t changed because we are able to recognize a few personality traits that they still exhibit. For example, I am still both unbearably loud and arrogant. Maybe these are a few of the fundamentals of my personality and only the extraneous aspects of my personality change. I don’t really know for sure.

"We did not change as we grew older, we just became more clearly ourselves."

As I thought more and more about this I realized that while the roots of our personality may never change, virtually all other aspects of our lives inevitably will. And change is scary. Change brings new people, new places, and new challenges. If we are in a place long enough we start to develop a routine and we get comfortable with it, but change takes us right out of that comfort zone. That's why we get butterflies in our stomach on job interviews, on our first day at a new job, and when we first go off to college.

Believe it or not change happens even faster in the real world. People you grew up with move to different cities. They work in different industries. They have roommates, make new friends. They date people you've never met, or let alone heard of. They get caught up with their new and busier lives and find it harder and harder to find the time to cultivate old friendships.

It's just something that happens. Friendships fade. Once you are out of college the ties you have to your old friends begin to fray. You don't keep in touch with half the people you thought you would. High school and college gave us all the same structure. The process was something that we all had in common. It was something for us to bond over. Once the structure is gone, people start veering off in completely different directions.

If you stop and think about it, it should really come as no surprise. The future brings with it a multitude of life altering choices and we will undoubtedly choose drastically different paths than many of our peers.

Luckily I'm still young enough where the ties to my old friends are still intact, but I know that big changes are on the horizon. Once people start getting married and having kids (we aren't that far away from this becoming a reality) their lives will become totally different. Their values will change. They'll yearn for the little free time that they had in their early 20's. In most cases, they'll probably turn into slightly different variations of their parents. As time marches ahead it's important to remember that people's lives might change, but rarely do the people.

"The friends who grew up with you deserve a special respect. The ones who stuck by you shoulder to shoulder, in a time where nothing was certain, all life lay ahead, and every road led home." -The Wonder Years

A quick aside, am I the only one that was the under the impression that Winnie Cooper was Asian?

Your friends from highschool, and certainly many of your friends from college, know you right down to the core of your personality. Something about this kind of relationship is able to stand the test of time. I think I've mentioned this before, but during the last few weeks of my senior year of college one of my friends said, "You're the type of kid I could not talk to for 3 years, but if we ran into each other we'd just pick right up and not miss a beat." Now I'm paraphrasing of course, but when he originally said it I wasn't sure how to take it. Only after the fact did I realize that it was actually quite a compliment.

"The truth is, you have your oldest friends in life, and then you have everyone else. Nothing will trump your oldest friends. Any amount of time can pass without you feeling as if you've grown apart because, really, you can't. It's like a plant. You just have to water it every so often and you're good." -ESPN.Com's Bill Simmons

Even if we haven't seen our oldest friends in weeks, months, or years we still somehow fall right back into the same rhythms of conversation. We interact just like we always have. The conversations may have changed, but the people having them are relatively the same. And this, indeed, is comforting.