Matty K suggested "The Shampoo Effect" because it was somewhat of an old joke we had back in college. It all started when a bunch of us went to South Padre, Texas for Spring Break during our senior year. We got there on a Saturday afternoon and hit the bar/club scene hard on that initial night. The next morning we were all still pretty buzzed in our condo, but we decided to ride the wave, so we started cracking brews left and right. It was at this point that one of my former roommates, Glancy, said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys. Remember, the shampoo effect." I swear there was silence for a good 5-6 seconds after he spoke. We were all sitting their glossy-eyed with brews in hand trying to make sense of what Glancy had just said. Finally someone said, "Glance, what the fuck are you talking about?", which is exactly what the rest of us were thinking. Then in what I think could only be characterized as a slur infested, mumbled response Glancy said, "Uhh well, you know. When you wash your hair you uhh rinse and repeat." Someone quickly interjected here and made a joke about Glancy not knowing anything about washing his hair. Glancy then continued, "No, when you wash your hair you rinse and repeat. You shampoo it. Then rinse. Then you shampoo it again, but the second time you don't need as much shampoo."
What he meant was that because we were all still feeling the effects of the night before we wouldn't need as much alcohol to get drunk again. Why he tried to warn us about getting too drunk on Spring Break and why he decided to use such an absurd reference, I'll never know, but the story doesn't end there. Our first weekend back to school just so happened to be St. Patrick's Day. The 17th was actually on a Monday, but the celebration was planned for all day Sunday. Most of us (the varsity team) had not only abused our bodies the entire week before on Spring Break, but we went out hard on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday(which was my birthday), and Saturday. Collllllllllllegggggge.
By the time Sunday morning's St. Patrick's day celebration rolled around most people were a little worn out. Matty K and I walked around the party together and just about every girl we talked to said something to the effect of, "I'm so tired. I can't believe I'm drinking right now." Upon hearing them say some variation of this, the K Man or I would very matter of factly say, "Right, of course. The shampoo effect." Without fail the girl would have no clue what we meant so she would say, "What's the shampoo effect?" Matty K or I would then say, "Ask Glancy about it." We must have had this same conversation with no joke 15-20 different girls. It got to the point where it was too easy. Some girls said things like, "I think I'm still drunk from last night." It was like clockwork.
Now the best part was actually seeing the girls go up to Glancy to ask him what the hell the shampoo effect was. It should be noted that he drank an entire bottle of Jameson by himself that day. At first he would just tell each girl what he told us all in Texas, but by the 6th time a girl asked him he started to get aggravated. It didn't help that everytime a girl came up to him Matty K and I were somewhere close by laughing our faces off. As the whiskey started to take its affect he started to not even respond to the girl and just turn in our general direction and say, "Go fuck yourselves." To Matty K and I it was one of those things that got funnier every time.
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Now over the course of the last year I have found enough spare time in my busy schedule of watching sports, dumping, and sleeping to string together exactly 100 posts. Of those 100 there are plenty that I like, but also plenty that I'm not too wild about. As The Shampoo Effect rolls into year two, let's take a look back at some of the highlights of year one.
1.) Hang out with your wang out (October 13th, 2008)- In this post I tackled both the unwritten rules that govern the male bathroom and how much of a d bag former Providence point guard Donnie McGrath is.
2.) Gaydar (November 18th, 2008)- When I found out that my friend had been dating his girlfriend for 6 years I began to wonder if the relationship was just a cover up for his homosexuality.
Remember that he is the one that you hear singing in this video.
3.) The three chicks I'd marry tomorrow (December 3rd, 2008)- In this post I went a little soft and discussed three female movie characters that I would have no doubts about marrying if they were actual people. I must say that my readers offered some very good suggestions in the comments section of this post.
4.) You say you a gangsta, but you neva pop nothin'. We say you a wanksta and you need to stop frontin' (January 15th, 2009)- Too often suburban white kids like me turn rap/hip hop mainstream. In this post I presented the top 10 offenses of this wide spread epidemic.
5.) Friends before Fame (August 3rd, 2009)- I stumbled across an article that listed celebrity duos that were roommates before they became famous. Naturally I wondered which of my former roommates would join me in the world of celebrity down the road.
Since the time of this post, I'm happy to report that one of my former roommates has made some strides in building their celebrity resume. Last month my cousin took part in the filming of a documentary on a book written by NBA Hall of Famer Kareem Abdul Jabbar.
He is to the left of Kareem in the picture and ironically enough what he sees when he looks in the mirror is to the right of Kareem in the picture.
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The Year One recap wouldn't be complete unless I included my first ever blog post. It brings me great joy to think that the first words that I ever wrote on this blog were, "Poop is the great equalizer."
Story of my life
"It's water, straight fucking water."
Poop is the great equalizer. It is one of the very few things that we all have in common yet somehow we, as a society, have branded this bond with disdain. Despite the negative connotation surrounding the process of squeezing some chocolate sauce out, pooping has managed to have a rather successful career in comedy. Everybody loves a good poop story and most people have a few about the old number two. Now I have quite the pooping resume, but this one has got to take the cake as the best one going. I can not get enough of this grown man, a sports icon, readily admitting to pooping his pants twice a year on average.
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