About a month ago my brother Jimmy sent me the following text message....
"If I'm ever on death row, my last meal will be a cheesy gordita crunch combo"
For those of you that aren't aware (and have poor inferencing skills), the cheesy gordita crunch combo is a delicious meal offered by the fast food chain Taco Bell. The combo includes a hard/soft taco, large drink, and a cheesy gordita crunch. The cheesy gordita crunch is essentially a hard taco wrapped in a soft taco that is loaded with cheese and some sort of secret sauce. It doesn't appear on the menu. Instead it's periodically promoted about once or twice a year; however for those in the know, you can order it year round.
Naturally this text message got me thinking. If I was on death row, what would my last meal be?
A quick aside- I recently had a conversation with someone that had no idea that death row inmates are given this luxury (probably not the right word). This is common knowledge though, right? I mean, am I crazy? or is it shown in every death row related movie out there?
Now when it comes to choosing a last meal, I think there are three ways to go about it.
1.) Fast food- After eating prison food for 7-10 years, it's only natural to crave some greasy slop. I mean, if you're on your way to your death, why not enjoy some unhealthy food one last time?
If I decided to go down this path, I think I would choose one of the following four options....
-cheesy gordita crunch combo from Taco Bell (Jimbo really hit the nail on the head) -spicy chicken sandwich meal from Wendy's -double whopper with cheese meal from Burger King -a double-double from IN-N-OUT Burger (I've never had one, but I've heard great things.
2.) Classy- Death row inmates are seen (and rightfully so) as the scum of society. After years of rotting away in a prison cell, I can see a death row inmate achieving some sort of peace. It's only fitting to go out with a classy meal to symbolize that transformation. Also, if you're allowed to ask for anything for your last meal, why not make the most of it and splurge for the best?
If it were me deciding to go the classy route I'd either ask for some filet mignon with scalloped potatoes or some chicken parmesan with rigatoni.
3.) Hometown favorite- I'm not even sure if this one is doable (unless you grew up near a big time prison), but everyone has a local delicacy that they particularly enjoy and no matter what, nothing will live up to the food at their favorite diner, deli or restaurant.
If I was in this position, I'd go with one of the following two meals from the 315.
-Tully's tenders -A corned beef sandwich on white with lettuce, tomato, onion and lots of Russian dressing from Brooklyn Pickle
Again, if it were me on death row, I'm not sure which of the 3 paths I would take in regards to my last meal, but I'd have plenty of time to think about it.
Lastly, not only are death row inmates afforded the privilege of a final meal, but they're also allowed to say a few final words. There's probably at least three ways to go about that as well (remorseful, defiant, thoughtful), but that's a little too much for me to get into now.
A few years ago I read the book "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac and I really enjoyed it. The book chronicles Kerouac's seemingly spontaneous cross country road trips with his friend Neal Cassady. The book uses fake names (Sal Paradise for himself, Dean Moriarty for Cassady), but it's no secret that all of the other characters in the book were also based on people he knew in his own life.
In case you were unaware, Kerouac hung around with quite the crew. He and his friends, many of whom were also writers, were the inspiration for what has come to be known as "the Beat Generation." The beats are often associated with their rejection of materialism and their experimentation with psychadelic drugs and alternate forms of sexuality (thanks Wikipedia). Their experiences (in the 50's and early 60's) helped spawn the counter culture movement of the 1960's and later the hippie movement of the late 60's and 70's. The most famous of Kerouac's beatnik friends was Allen Ginsberg, who enjoyed more hotdogs than a cross between Kobayashi and Lance Bass. His famous poem "Howl", with the famous opening line, "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness," was the subject of a highly publicized obscenity case that upheld our First Ammendment right to free speech.
I've always been interested in the Beat Generation because they went against the grain and history couldn't ignore them. Even if it's only a quick paragraph in a Social Studies textbook or a fleeting mention by a college professor, it shows that what this group of people stood for actually meant something.
Now if you just read my quick copy and paste from Wikipedia (it actually may be word for word) you might think that the beats were a bunch of people that messed around with drugs and then dabbled with bisexuality. This, however, was not the case. This group was highly educated (most went to Ivy League schools), abundantly talented, and primed for very successful careers. However, instead of accepting the path that society had created for them, they rejected the monotony of the status quo and freed themselves to do as they saw fit. To put it simply, they decided to just live for a while and not burden themselves with any societal restraints. And to sum it up even more simply, they were incredibly creative non-conformists.
I was driven to read "On the Road" not only because of Kerouac's connection to "the Beat Generation", but also because he is largley miscredited as the author of this quote.
"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
..which is best known as the copy to one of the best advertisements of all time...
Before reading "On the Road", I had heard that this text was in the book, so I picked myself up a copy and anxiously anticipated how it would be used in context, but it never appeared. In fact, I still don't know who wrote, or said, those words, but people confuse that quote with this passage which does appear in "On the Road".
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"
Either way, I read the book and really liked it. Ever since I have been even more conscious of learning little tidbits about Kerouac. To me, he just seems like he was a very interesting person (and let the record show that he never really went for the whole bisexual thing). For example, he wrote the now famous novel in just three weeks on one continuous scroll. Truman Capote, who was about as flamboyant as Perez Hilton, famously said of Kerouac's work, "That's not writing. That's typing." Also, Kerouac was an absolute bozebag. He died at age 47 of internal hemorrhaging, which was caused by cirrhosis of the liver.
So I tell you all of this because last week on a Pop Culture blog that I read, I came across this:
Here are my Top Five Songs That May or May Not Be Based on Jack Kerouac's Novels:
1.) Modest Mouse- The World at Large -- You could take just about any line from this song and it would feel like it came out of a Kerouac novel. My favorite line (that I think sums up why people like Kerouac in the first place): "I like songs about drifters -- books about the same; they both seem to make me feel a little less insane."
2.) Third Eye Blind- Burning Man -- The band actually acknowledged that this song is based on Sal Paradise's line in On the Road: "The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"
3.) The Hold Steady- Stuck Between Stations -- There are a few lines in this song that Kerouac may have wrote himself, but name-dropping Sal Paradise in the opening line was a dead giveaway: "There are nights when I think that Sal Paradise was right, boys and girls in America have such a sad time together."
4.) Weezer- Holiday -- I had been listening to this Weezer album for years before one day my headphones were a little too loud and I caught Rivers Cuomo talk-singing this line in the background: "On the road with Kerouac, sheltered in his Bivouac, on this road we'll never die." Rivers is a smart guy; I have no idea what a Bivouac is.
5.) Death Cab for Cutie- Bixby Canyon Bridge -- Ben Gibbard is a well-documented Kerouac junkie and has performed several songs that were influenced by him. I think this is his best, and I couldn't get this song out of my head the entire time I was reading Big Sur.
The only song of the five that I knew before reading that entry was "Burning Man", so I listened to the other four and enjoyed them all. I suggest that you all do the same and see what you think. Also, bonus points if you read "Howl" or Google (I love how this is a verb) the title of this post and read the poem that it appears in, which was written by a man who was responsible for publishing much of the literature written by "the Beat Generation."
It was quite the weekend for your (third or fourth?) favorite blogger. I worked all day Saturday and all night Sunday, but the weekend that was is still worthy of a quick recap. Here are the top 6 things that went down (some literally) this weekend.
1.) What team do you play for?
My cousin on the left, Tyler on the right, and yes, that was our team uniform
I played in a golf tournament on Friday with Kyle Korver, my unnamed cousin, and my buddy Tyler. The day was filled with plenty of American brews, a few icings, cigars, and a solid round of golf.
In fact, we birdied 3 of the first 5 holes that we played and had visions of winning, but then the booze set in. We gave one back on our 7th hole. Played even par for the next ten and then ended with a birdie for a very respectable 3 under par.
2.) Leaving my mark
After the tournament we mosied on over to the bar that we used to frequent in college. Within seconds of entering I scurried to the men's room and, believe it or not, dropped heat in there for the first time. Now I'd previously been a patron at this bar anywhere from 50-100 times and never once considered depositing some crude oil in the Pacific rim. The thought never crossed my mind because the place was usually packed when I was there, but no more than 15 people were there on Saturday afternoon. I went in with low expectations, because it's a bathroom in a crummy little college bar, but I was pleasantly surprised with the confines. I took my time, did some work, and then went right back to crushing bevs.
With time to reflect upon my actions, I am now proud to say that after four years of frequenting the Seagrape Cafe, I have officially left my mark.
Go figure that this marks the second time in as many months that I have delivered the goods for the first time in a place that I have been to over 50 times. In mid May I flushed my feces for the first time in the Syracuse Suds Factory.
3.) Tying the knot
Speaking of college, Lyle and Tristen officially became man and wife on Saturday. I was not invited, but plenty of my friends from college were there to celebrate the momentous occasion. Now I could use this platform (which I gave myself) to rant about the exhorbitant amount of Facebook (self) promotion that said wedding received, but all I'll say is congratulations to the happy couple.
4.) America....Fuck Yeah!
The 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa kicked off on Friday and the much anticipated opening round match between England and the United States of America took place on Saturday. As you should already know, England scored quickly, but Clint Dempsey's double bouncer was too hot for English goalie Robert Green's oven mitts to handle and the match ended in a draw.
Bring on Slovenia (Friday at 10 AM). USA! USA! USA!
5.) The Lake Show may be sinking....
The Los Angeles Lakers, my adopted post season team (because the Knicks haven't even sniffed the playoffs since 2001), lost Game 5 of the NBA Finals to the Boston Celtics on Sunday night. They now trail in the series 3-2 (the first time they've trailed in a playoff series all year) and now have to win Game 6 and Game 7 at home to repeat as champions.
The Game 5 loss was especially painful for me because I talked a lot of shit to all of my friends from Boston leading up to the pivotal game. To my credit, I did predict that Kobe Bryant would have a monster game and go for about 40 (he finished with 38), but it was all for naught.
Not only did I talk a lot of shit before Game 5, but before the series began I made a bet with my buddy Mark. The bet stipulated that if the Celtics win, I have to go to Boston and pay for all of Mark's drinks for a night, and if the Lakers win, he has to come to West Hartford/Fairfield/NYC (my choice) and pay for all of my drinks for a night. My favorite part about the bet is that the winner has to pay for the loser's brunch the next day.
My pre-series prediction was Lakers in 7, so let's hope that that holds true.
I actually bumped into my buddy in downtown Syracuse about a month ago when I was home for my sisters' college graduation (the night after I dumped in Suds). He was home that weekend (he spends most of his time in Florida nowadays) for a local qualifying tournament, in which he finished tied for first. We talked for about half an hour and he told me how he now had to go down to New Jersey for a regional qualifying tournament. He said that if he finished in the top 2 in that tournament then he would qualify for the Open. I wished him well, but didn't expect him to pull it off because of the high degree of difficulty.
In case you didn't read the link, and I assume that most of you don't, my buddy's name is Dan McCarthy. He's a professional golfer who plays on the Hooters and Canadian tours. The Open will be his first PGA sanctioned tournament and obviously also his first major.
Hockey has long been the red-headed stepchild of the four major professional sports, at least as far as Americans are concerned. Now maybe I'm a little biased because I can't skate well and all of my hockey knowledge is based on NHL 2002 for PlayStation2, but logically, this makes perfect sense. For starters, the South isn't exactly receptive to the sport for obvious climatic reasons. With year round pleasant temperatures, outdoor sports like baseball and football are king. So right off the bat, half the country is genuinely disinterested with the sport.
As for those of us north of the Mason-Dixon line (I honestly couldn't even tell you where that is), hockey is relatively hit or miss. Much of this has to do with the fact that hockey is a sport dominated by the affluent. Simply put, hockey is an expensive sport to get involved in. Helmets, pads, sticks, skates, etc. are not cheap. This economic barrier prevents many from developing an affection for the sport. The easy, cheap alternative (probably not the right word anymore) is basketball. Basketball's rise in popularity as a winter sport has decimated the potential for hockey to grow in America.
Despite the abundance of logical data that suggests that Hockey will continue to be the laughing stock of the four professional sports, I'm shocked that it doesn't have more of a following...and here's why.
Now I can't speak from personal experience, but from everything that I hear, hockey is undoubtedly the best sport to watch live. Again, this makes perfect sense. Hockey is an action packed, high paced game. Professionals have both incredible speed and skill and I'm sure that both are only accentuated in person. The game is also very physical. In your average NHL game you'd be sure to see a handful of bone crushing hits, hipchecks into the boards, and perhaps even a fight.
I imagine that another great aspect of seeing a hockey game live is the atmosphere. I've been a part of many a crowd that has gone nuts after touchdowns, dunks, three-pointers, home runs, etc., but I'd have to think that the wildest eruption would be for a goal. They don't come around very often, but there are a whole bunch of chances that must make the payoff for a goal that much better.
Another intriguing part of the live hockey experience is the potential to see a shootout.
The playoff beard is the single coolest thing going in professional sports. Watching grown men bond over a commitment to not shave their facial hair (it's only their facial hair, right?) until they are eliminated from competition is just plain awesome. Job permitting, I think it's also very cool if fans of a team grow a playoff beard as well.
Lord Stanley's Cup
Yes, the fact that pre-dyke haircut Hayden Penettiere licked The Cup makes it that much more tantalizing
The Stanley Cup is the coolest and most revered trophy in all of sports. No other trophy is even in the same ballpark. Yeah that's right Heisman trophy. Eric Crouch and Jason White really hurt your street cred.
What makes Lord Stanley's Cup so great?
1.) If you're on a team that wins The Cup, they carve your name into it. As cool as that is, if you win The Cup multiple times, your name is carved into The Cup multiple times.
2.) The Cup is presented first to the captain of the winning team, who seemingly always hands it off to a cagey, old veteran who has never won it.
3.) Since 1995, every member of the winning team has gotten to spend a day with The Cup. Which raises one of the best sports related questions out there. What would you do on your day with The Cup? I'm not sure that I have a complete answer for that, but if I was fortunate enough to be in that position The Cup would certainly come with me to the city of hopes and dreams and it would most likely make an appearance at the Syracuse Suds Factory.
So hockey almost unequivocally has the best product to see live, the best thing going in all of team sports (at least in terms of camraderie), and the coolest and most revered trophy in all of sports, yet somehow it's popularity is minimal in America. What else could Gary Bettman and the NHL do to increase the sports popularity?
Well here's an idea, the basis of which that I first heard mentioned by ESPN Radio's Colin Cowherd, that would surely do the trick. Using pre-interleague play in MLB as our example, we would re-align the two NHL Conferences. No more Eastern and Western Conference. 15 teams would be placed in what would be known as the American League and 15 would be placed in the Canadian League. The two leagues would not play each other at all in the regular season, but every Stanley Cup Finals would be between an American team and a Canadian team.
All of the American teams would be in the northern half of our great nation because I don't think that teams like the Phoenix Coyotes are really all that practical. The 15 teams that would make up the American League would be:
New York Rangers New Jersey Devils Philadelphia Flyers Boston Bruins Hartford Whalers
Pittsburgh Penguins Buffalo Sabres Washington Capitals St. Louis Blues Columbus Bluejackets
Chicago Blackhawks Detroit Red Wings Minnesota Wild Colorado Avalanche San Jose Sharks
And the 15 teams that would make up the Canadian League would be:
Toronto Maple Leafs Montreal Canadians Ottawa Senators Quebec Nordiques Halifax Mooseheads
Winnipeg Jets Thunder Bay Lightning Regina Knights Saskatoon Sasquatches Sudbury Wolves
Vancouver Canucks Calgary Flames Edmonton Oilers Karmloops Blazers Victoria Grizzlies
PS- Congrats to the Blackhawks for winning the Stanley Cup for the first time in nearly 50 years.
It's hard to believe that in the past couple of weeks a few iconic television series have come to an end. It's rare nowadays that a series has a meaningful run before walking off into the sunset. Before last week, I honestly can't think of the last time that I watched a season finale and knew that it was also the series finale. Usually a show is cancelled before it even gets going. Look no further than Arrested Development or Reunion (a show on FOX that had me hooked during my sophomore year of college, but was cancelled halfway through it's first season).
Now of the big three that came to end, Lost, 24, and American Idol (for all intents and purposes), I actually watched 24, so I will dedicate this post to the show's lasting memory. There were plenty of elements that made the show what it was, but I believe that these were the most significant.
The decision to have the events of the show occur in real time was a truly unique idea. You know how in highschool and college your professors encouraged you to think outside of the box? This is a perfect example of doing just that. To my knowledge no show had ever tried it and quite frankly I don't think anyone will try it again for quite some time. I'm thinking it won't be until the modernized version of 24 debuts in about 15-20 years.
This whole real time notion was really the shows linchpin from it's inception. The concept intrigued viewers enough to give the show a shot and once they watched an entire episode they got hooked by the action packed cliff hanger drama. Producing 24 hours of content with that many storylines, twists, turns, shoot outs, etc. is truly remarkable. It's for this reason that I'm already hesistant about the 24 movie. Will the movie be in real time? If not, a lot of the luster is gone. If it is in real time, then the movie might feel like a regular two hour finale without all the pent up drama from the first 22 hours.
The show was both ahead of the curve and reactionary. In terms of being ahead of the curve, look no further than David Palmer, the one term Senator who met his strong, powerful wife in college that would go on to be the first African American President of the United States. Season 1 of 24 came out well before Obama was elected to the Senate, so as far as I'm concerned he simply followed Palmer's rubric. Also, once a female is elected as to the presidency (and it will happen), I'm going to give all the credit to 24's Allison Taylor.
While the show's writers were clearly ahead of the ball in some areas, they also blended in some plot lines in response to current events. Here's one of many examples. After the whole waterboarding/torture issue came to light, the show put Jack in front of a Senate committee to answer questions about his history using torture.
A very underrated part about 24 was that, at least to me, it didn't seem to have an agenda. The show's plot consistently dealt with national security measures, which gave the writer's/producer's a perfect opportunity to unleash a little social commentary, but I never got the feeling that they were trying to make a point. This, again to me at least, is a refreshing thought, especially if you consider the fact that the show was on FOX, a company that is thought to be in bed with the GOP.
24 had two different types of characters. The first type were those that I recognized from a previous role. More often that not I didn't know their actual name, but I knew the name of a character that they had played in the past. The second type are the actors/actresses that I will now always associate with their character on the show. Their actual names will slip my memory (if they havent already), but I will undoubtedly remember the name of the character that they played on 24 and I will refer to them as such for the remainder of their careers.
Type 1
President David Palmer was played by Pedro Cerrano from Major League
President Taylor's chief of staff Ethan Kanin was played by the warden from The Shawshank Redpemption
FBI Agent Larry Moss was played by Coach Orion from D3
CTU Agent Cole Ortiz was played by Zach Siler from She's All That
Type 2
Mary Lynn Rajskub will forever be Chloe O'Brian to me. Actually she's mostly Chloe, but part of me also thinks of her as the snail from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Even though she's reached name recognition status because she's hot (Elisha Cuthbert), this puck loving slut will always be Kim Bauer to me.
Carlos Bernard is a name I will not remember. To me, his name is, and always will be, Tony Almeida.
I don't even want to mention her real name (Sarah Clarke) because I still loathe her for being a back stabbing bitch in Season 1. In fact, Nina Myers who I think of when I hear the word traitor and believe me when I tell you that she had some serious competition for that top spot.
1.) Nina Myers 2.) Benedict Arnold 3.) A.J. Burnett
The lasting legacy of 24 will be Jack. There's really no debate. His ruthless determination, marksmanship, interrogation tactics, and situational savvy have elevated him to American hero status.
That being said, 24's lasting legacy is a bit different for me personally. During my freshman year of college I watched Seasons 1-2 on DVD in my buddy Glancy's room with a few other friends. Apparently we had a lottt of free time during our freshmen year because I don't remember it ever being too hard to get all 4-5 of us together to watch a handful of episodes. I'm sure this was common among 24 viewers, but we always used to guess what time the show would come back from commercial with. My strategy was always to guess 4:20 (no marijuana reference intended) after the last second shown before the commercial break. If the time you guessed was the first one shown when the show came back from commercial it was like rolling a 1.00 on the Price is Right wheel. If the time you guessed was one of the 7 (I think) seconds shown it was like landing in the green on the Price is Right wheel (I think the green was .05 and .90). Hopefully someone knows what I mean by that reference.
Our obsession with the show went as far as some of us occasionaly answering the phone and saying..."CTU, Tony Almeida speaking." Speaking of Almeida, there was actually a girl we went to school with who's last name was Almeida, so you better believe that we referred to her as every possible relative to Tony in the book. One day she was Tony's little sister. The next she was his daughter. Etc.
Bottom line, 24 was undoubtedly an iconic television show. Whether it's because of Jack, for strengthening friendships, or for some other reason, I give you my word that the show will be remembered for a long time to come.
