The Last Supper

About a month ago my brother Jimmy sent me the following text message....

"If I'm ever on death row, my last meal will be a cheesy gordita crunch combo"

For those of you that aren't aware (and have poor inferencing skills), the cheesy gordita crunch combo is a delicious meal offered by the fast food chain Taco Bell. The combo includes a hard/soft taco, large drink, and a cheesy gordita crunch. The cheesy gordita crunch is essentially a hard taco wrapped in a soft taco that is loaded with cheese and some sort of secret sauce. It doesn't appear on the menu. Instead it's periodically promoted about once or twice a year; however for those in the know, you can order it year round.



Naturally this text message got me thinking. If I was on death row, what would my last meal be?

A quick aside- I recently had a conversation with someone that had no idea that death row inmates are given this luxury (probably not the right word). This is common knowledge though, right? I mean, am I crazy? or is it shown in every death row related movie out there?

Now when it comes to choosing a last meal, I think there are three ways to go about it.

1.) Fast food- After eating prison food for 7-10 years, it's only natural to crave some greasy slop. I mean, if you're on your way to your death, why not enjoy some unhealthy food one last time?

If I decided to go down this path, I think I would choose one of the following four options....

-cheesy gordita crunch combo from Taco Bell (Jimbo really hit the nail on the head)
-spicy chicken sandwich meal from Wendy's
-double whopper with cheese meal from Burger King
-a double-double from IN-N-OUT Burger (I've never had one, but I've heard great things.



2.) Classy- Death row inmates are seen (and rightfully so) as the scum of society. After years of rotting away in a prison cell, I can see a death row inmate achieving some sort of peace. It's only fitting to go out with a classy meal to symbolize that transformation. Also, if you're allowed to ask for anything for your last meal, why not make the most of it and splurge for the best?

If it were me deciding to go the classy route I'd either ask for some filet mignon with scalloped potatoes or some chicken parmesan with rigatoni.

3.) Hometown favorite- I'm not even sure if this one is doable (unless you grew up near a big time prison), but everyone has a local delicacy that they particularly enjoy and no matter what, nothing will live up to the food at their favorite diner, deli or restaurant.

If I was in this position, I'd go with one of the following two meals from the 315.

-Tully's tenders
-A corned beef sandwich on white with lettuce, tomato, onion and lots of Russian dressing from Brooklyn Pickle


Again, if it were me on death row, I'm not sure which of the 3 paths I would take in regards to my last meal, but I'd have plenty of time to think about it.

Lastly, not only are death row inmates afforded the privilege of a final meal, but they're also allowed to say a few final words. There's probably at least three ways to go about that as well (remorseful, defiant, thoughtful), but that's a little too much for me to get into now.