Blurring the Line

I often marvel at what Sports Illustrated has accomplished. Somehow they've maintained a sterling reputation for their sports coverage while at the same time selling sex (their swimsuit issue). They've managed to successfully tap into the two things that most men are most interested in: sports and scantily clad women. This two pronged approach has no doubt elevated and helped them maintain their popularity. The reason I marvel at Sports Illustrated is because the notion of selling sex is something that ESPN would never (explicitly) condone. ESPN seems to have taken a separation of church and state approach when it comes to the top two interests of most males. This decision has no doubt led to an increase in ESPN's credibility among fans (although I would argue that Sports Illustrated hasn't lost any credibility because of their swimsuit issue) and in this business your reputation is everything. ESPN holds themselves to a higher standard and that's part of what makes them the worldwide leader in sports. Their strategy is tried and true and there's no sense in changing it.

However, if they did, wouldn't a calendar of female ESPN talent sell like hotcakes? There is almost no chance that this would ever happen because that would blur the lines too much. Sports Illustrated uses models for their swimsuit issue. They don't use their reporters, writers, etc. There's a degree of separation there.

That said, what would a calendar of ESPN female talent look like? Well, I'm glad you asked. It would look something like this.

Note- This would not be a swimsuit issue, but if some of the females wanted to pose in swimsuits I'm sure that no one would mind. In fact, it would probably be recommeneded that some do.


January- Wendi Nix



Wendi is the perfect ESPN female to kick off the calendar. She’s hot, but in a mature way. She’s a woman. The 36-year-old is from South Carolina, but she has Boston ties (ex-husband is the VP of Player Personnel for the Red Sox). She’s also very talented in that she’s not just a pretty face. She knows her stuff (specifically baseball and football).

Would she do it? I’m not entirely sure. I think she could be talked into it if a few others were already committed. Plus, if she’s now single then why not? Either way she would absolutely be required to wear her glasses.


February- Rachel Nichols



Who better to represent February than everyone’s favorite redhead? Rachel Nichols is one of those women who seems a lot more attractive than she is because of her profession. That’s not to say that she isn’t attractive. She is. It’s just that she gets a huge bump in her attractiveness because she’s a sports reporter. My one problem with Rachel, and maybe I’m nitpicking, is that she uses an excessive amount of gesticulations when she talks. Specifically head movements. She literally looks like a life-size bobblehead doll sometimes.

Fun Fact- Her mother-in-law is Diane Sawyer, so she has connections up the ying yang.

Not So Fun Fact- Nichols is 37 (turns 38 in October). I would’ve guessed 31.

Would she do it? Probably not, but she’s almost a necessity. If she did there’s no doubt that her photo shoot would take place in Hattiesburg, Mississippi because she’s spent more days there on Favre watch than she has in her own home.


March- Sara Walsh



She’s relatively new to ESPN (approximately 1 year) and a lot of people hate on her because she has a bit of a horseface, but she has legs for days and she seems like she has an engaging personality (She’s filled in on Fantasy Football Now and SportsNation). She grew up in Florida and is 33 years old.

Would she do it? Absolutely. She has to be looking for more exposure and what better venue than this?


April- Nicole Briscoe



You’ve probably never heard of her (unless you live in the South), but she works primarily on NASCAR shows and she’s a babe. Speaking of auto racing, the former Miss Illinois Teen USA was on the same cheerleading squad as Danica Patrick in highschool. Briscoe is 30 years old and she’s married to an IndyCar driver.

Would she do it? My guess would be no, but if this was actually happening I’m sure she could get talked into it pretty easily.


May- Hannah Storm



Hannah is probably the most accomplished female at ESPN (Not only did she graduate from Notre Dame, but she’s worked for CNN, NBC, CBS, and now ESPN/ABC). She’s also out of control hot for someone that’s turning 49 in a month. Seriously, she’s incredible to see in person. With her great looks and impressive resume (She’s interviewed George W. Bush, Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, etc.) I hear that she can be quite the diva. Either way I think she’s a better NBA studio host than Stuart Scott, so there’s that. Storm (who’s real last name is Storen) is married to sportscaster Dan Hicks who does a lot of golf for NBC.

Would she do it? Hard to tell, but ultimately I’d say yes. If you’re closing in on 49 and you have a rocking body wouldn’t you want to show it off? The only thing that would hold her back is the credibility issue that has kept this project from happening in the first place.


June- Jenn Brown



Jenn Brown should be the next big thing among female sideline reporters. The former softball player at Florida works the sidelines primarily for college football games on ESPN and ESPN2. I almost get the sense that they are taking things slow with her, but I don’t know why. She’s 30 years old. She’s smoking hot (some people knock her for her fivehead, but she’s right up my alley). She graduated summa cum laude, so she’s smart. She played 5 varsity sports in highschool, so she has a great knowledge base. Quite frankly, I think she’s the total package.

Would she do it? In a heartbeat. She’s the best kept secret at ESPN and something like this would put her on the map nationally.


July- Erin Andrews



Obviously she’d be on the cover as well (We’re trying to move some product here). EA, who’s 33 by the way, is the most famous female sideline reporter in the business. Before her fame skyrocketed thanks to her appearance on Dancing With the Stars (which probably only happened because of the exposure she gained from the whole peephole thing) she was on the dance team (the Dazzlers) at the University of Florida, where she graduated in 2000. Back in the summer of 2007 when ESPN was trying to figure out who “the most now” athlete in sports was, my buddy Pete (Jose Bautista’s clone) concluded that it was actually Erin Andrews, who I believe hosted those segments.

Would she do it? I doubt it, but without her there would be no calendar. She would have the most leverage of any ESPN female and because of that it would probably take an exorbitant amount of cash to get her on board. Everyone has a price, so if the powers at be really wanted to make this happen (and they should) they probably could.


August- Sage Steele



For those of you that work normal hours, you probably don’t see Sage Steele too often, but she’s one of the regular hosts of the 10am and 11am weekday SportsCenters. She is tall, slender, and incredibly good looking. In fact, whenever one of our radio hosts sees her on a TV in a studio he infers that she is out of this world hot by saying “Sage Steele, take me to your leader”. Steele is 38 and I’m actually stunned by that. I would have guessed anywhere from 29 to 33.

Would she do it? Maybe. She’s the mother of 3 children and might be against posing for a calendar, but if her picture was shot somewhere on the set of SportsCenter or something I think she’d be more than agreeable.


September- Michelle Beadle



Beadle, the co-host of SportsNation, is perhaps the hottest name among female sportscasters these days. She is loved by many fans because she’s good looking and has an almost male personality. Basically she knows what she’s talking about, she’s funny, and she’s hot. Having met her a few times I can confirm that she is definitely hot and really cool off camera as well. In fact, a few weeks ago I lent her my headphones and after telling my brother about it he told me to never wash those headphones again (Which I guess is just something you say because who washes headphones?). Either way, as fate would have it, the very next day I attended a training session (we are moving into new studios in a matter of weeks) and was given a brand new set of headphones.

Would she do it? Definitely. She’d be all about it.


October- Suzy Kolber



Kolber is a multi-faceted talent at ESPN. She can work the sidelines with the best of them and she can also seamlessly host a football oriented studio show. She has a high football acumen, she has a great voice, and she’s extraordinarily nice. She’s not the best looking female talent at ESPN (hard to compete with Jenn Brown and Erin Andrews), but she’s definitely an attractive person. Also, October seems very appropriate for Suzy because of her football ties.

Would she do it? I think so. She handled the Joe Namath situation with incredible poise and grace and she’d handle this very professionally as well.


November- Shannon Spake



You probably haven’t seen, let alone heard of Shannon Spake (a bit of a porn star name, right?), but you probably want to get acquainted with her now. She’s mainly a NASCAR reporter, but I’ve also seen her work the sidelines for college basketball games and she’s worked a few college football games for us on radio.

Would she do it? Probably. If she wants to further advance her career she needs some more exposure.


December- Jeannine Edwards



Edwards is a veteran of the sideline reporting game who covers college football, college basketball, horse racing, etc. for ESPN. She received some national attention in January while working the sidelines at the Fiesta Bowl for ESPN Radio. Apparently in the pre-show meeting play-by-play man Ron Franklin was talking with fellow announcers Rod Gilmore and Ed Cunningham about Gilmore’s wife, who was recently elected as the mayor of Alameda, CA. When Edwards attempted to join in on the conversation Franklin reportedly said, “Why don’t you leave this to the boys, sweet cakes?” When Edwards took offense, Franklin reportedly called her an expletive. Franklin was pulled from the Fiesta Bowl broadcast and was subsequently fired.

Fun Fact- Guess who the (studio) producer was for that game? That's right. Yours truly.

Would she do it? No chance.


It should be noted that Stacey Dales would have been an ideal candidate for a women of ESPN Calendar.



Unfortunately, though, she left the company in November of 2008 because she was upset that she was forced to ride coach when other reporters rode first class. It became an impasse in contract negotiations and Dales chose to walk away.