Sound Smarter

I’m something of a linguistic freak. I love language. I find enjoyment in contorting words. It’s odd, really. When I was young I was a very logical/linear thinker. In many ways I still am, but I struggled with the abstract. I excelled in math and did my best to hold my own when it came to things like reading comprehension, etc. I put up a crooked number on the math portion of the SATs and a middle of the road figure on the verbal section.

Throughout my college experience I became enamored with writing. I don’t know how, why, when, or where it happened, but it did. I would compare it to how your pallet evolves as you get older. You might hate something as a kid. Let’s say broccoli. But you learn to love it as an adult. It’s virtually unfathomable to your former self, but it happens. I don’t think of myself as an extraordinary writer or anything, but I think my personality and knowledge base lends itself to the craft. In fact, most people I encounter think I’m a lot smarter than I actually am. Most of that is probably due to the way I carry myself (I have an opinion on everything and can usually back it up with a fairly compelling argument), but I also think that my (slightly above average) vocabulary plays a factor.

I guess my point is that a few key words can go a long way. Most of my day to day life is spent in the realm of sports, so I’m constantly bombarded by analysis from writers and former players. They sound smart because they have access. Either they played the game or they spend significant time in the locker room talking to players, coaches, etc. They can also say things like, “Here’s what I see when I watch the tape…” and people assume that they know what they’re talking about. It’s not that easy for regular schmucks like you and me.

Here are a few intelligent sounding words that I’ve heard radio show hosts, political pundits, and Knicks announcer Walt “Clyde” Frazier use in the past month or so. If you sprinkle them into your repertoire you’ll inevitably sound a little smarter than you actually are.

in lieu- use this French phrase as a replacement for “instead”. Ex- In lieu of flowers please make a donation to the Human Fund.

discernment- this word literally means to use good judgment. General managers show discernment when they pass on a talented player that has off the field issues. Ex- That girl hooks up with the worst guys. She exhibits zero discernment.

metrics- use this word in lieu of the words “numbers” and “stats”. Ex- When I look at the metrics it’s hard to deny his talent.

acumen- this word is similar to discernment, but it’s used more broadly. Instead of saying that someone is a smart, heady player with a high basketball IQ just say that you’re impressed with their acumen.

constitution- people generally stay away from using this word because they immediately think of the document which contains the Bill of Rights, etc. It’s actually a great way to describe a player’s mental makeup or the way a team is put together. Ex- Team X has a great constitution. They have two experienced ball handlers, long, rangy shooters, and a stable of bigs that get after the glass.

perspective- radio hosts lovvvvve this word. They say as a way to get their audience to focus on the big picture (or on the macro). Giving perspective on a topic is the opposite of being reactionary. It shows that your opinion is well thought out. Perspective, in this instance, literally just means giving something the proper context.

dichotomy- this Greek word is used to describe something that has divided into two parts. Whenever you think a situation could go one of two ways you could say that an interesting dichotomy has arisen.

ubiquitous- this word means being present everywhere at once. Analysts use it a lot to explain a player who’s seemingly doing everything on the court/field. I also enjoy using the word pervasive, which means essentially the same thing.

aptly- it just means appropriate. A few weeks back I wrote a segment for an NBA pregame show about how a few members of the Dallas Mavericks decided to grow out their beards until they got back to the .500 mark. The copy read, “They aren’t reaching for their razors just yet, but they’ve won 8 of their last 11 to up their mark to 34 and 36. On Tuesday they play the aptly named Clippers followed by a trip to Indiana on Thursday.” My host told me that he couldn’t handle the big words (I also used the word aberration in another story) and asked if he could change aptly to ironically. I said no, rather emphatically I might add.

deft- it means quick/nimble and skillful. Ex- He deftly slipped through that double team to lay it in.