The Wait Is Almost Over

Arrested Development’s much anticipated 4^th season will be released on Netflix this Sunday. The shows first three seasons originally aired from 2003 until 2006 on FOX. In order to prepare you for the release I have ranked the nine regular characters.

9.) Lindsay

Brief bio- she is believed to be Michael’s twin sister, but she was actually adopted. She’s married to Tobias and the mother of Maeby. She claims to be a big believer in a number of causes, but is really just a spoiled, ditzy, materialistic daughter of a CEO.

Quotes: Lindsay: I care deeply for nature.
Michael: You’re wearing ostrich-skin boots.
Lindsay: Well, I don’t care about ostriches.

Actor fact- she’s a lesbian and is married to Ellen Degeneres

 

8.) Maeby

Brief bio- she is the daughter of Tobias and Lindsay and the cousin of George Michael. She is relatively normal, but a few of her story arcs are ridiculous. For example, she somehow becomes a movie producer one day after walking onto a set.

Quotes-Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?
Michael: That's a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?

Actor fact- She has a small role in Cedar Rapids (2011), which stars Ed Helms. It is the only other tv show or film that I’ve ever seen her in.

7.) George Michael

Brief bio- he’s played by Michael Cera and is the son of Michael. He has a huge crush on his cousin Maeby and is generally just an awkward teenager.

Quotes- Michael: What do you think of when you hear the name, "Sudden Valley"?

George Michael Bluth: Salad dressing. But I don't want to eat it.
Michael: What about, "Paradise Gardens"?
George Michael Bluth: Yeah... that's better. I can see myself marinating a chicken in that.

Actor fact- The 24-year-old hails from Canada and both of his parents worked for Xerox.

6.) George Sr.

Brief bio- he’s the patriarch of the Bluth family who gets imprisoned due to the shady accounting practices he employed while he was the CEO of the family business. He escapes and spends most of his time in the attic.

Quotes- George Sr.: All right, now look, just because a woman gets pregnant doesn’t mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an IUD.

Lucille: It was Stuckey’s.
George Sr.: But I believed you!

George Michael: Hello, Bluth Company.

George Sr.: Talk me off, honey. Talk me off.
George Michael: Talk you off what, PopPop?
George Sr.: Oh, George Michael. I thought you were - when's that voice gonna drop? Put Kitty on the phone.

Actor fact- Jeffrey Tambor was nominated for two Emmys for his work on Arrested Development.

5.) Michael

Brief bio- he’s the second oldest son (shades of The Godfather), who serves as the show’s protagonist. When his father goes to jail he attempts to keep the company, and the family, together. He is the only “normal” character on the show.

Quotes- Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time.

Michael: Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing

Michael: [after George Sr. has been handed a jail sentence] They're going to keep Dad in jail until this whole thing gets sorted out.

[silence amongst the family]
Michael: Also, I've been told that the company's expense accounts have been frozen...
[everyone gasps]
Michael: ...Interesting. I would have expected that after "They're keeping Dad in jail."

Actor fact- Jason Bateman’s career probably got the biggest boost from his work on Arrested Development. He’s been the leading man in several decent movies, but I’ll always consider his portrayal of Pepper Brooks, the color analyst, in Dodgeball as his magnum opus.

 

4.) Lucille

Brief bio- She’s the alcoholic, controlling matriarch of the Bluth family who says and does whatever she wants.

Quotes- Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.

Lindsay: Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free.

Lucille: Really? Did nothing cancel?

Lucille: Stop playing with Mother’s rape horn. Yes, I have a rape horn, Michael, because you took away my mace.

Buster: Yeah, like anyone would want to “R” her.

Michael (to G.O.B.): Get rid of the Seaward.
Lucille: I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.

Michael: Why are you squeezing me with your body?

Lucille: It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

Lucille: I don't want to leave Buster alone with all the J-U-I-C-E.

Buster: I can spell, Mother; you spelled juice.
Lucille: What a genius. Let's see you find it.

 

3.) Tobias

Brief bio- He’s a never nude (he always wears tight, ripped jean shorts under his clothes), former therapist/analyst, and aspiring actor that’s married to Lindsay.

Quotes- Tobias: I’m afraid I just blue myself.

Tobias: Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up!

Tobias: I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

Michael: There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

Tobias: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over: an analyst and a therapist, the world’s first “analrapist.”

Tobias: I can already taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth.

Tobias: [as Mrs. Featherbottom] O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?

[laughs]
Tobias: Right, I forgot, here in the States, you call it a *sausage* in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.

Actor fact- David Cross began his career in stand up comedy. In the early 90s he regularly worked at a NYC club called Catch a Rising Star. Jeanane Garofalo and Louis C.K. were among the other regulars.

 

2.) Buster

Brief bio- he’s the youngest son of the Bluth family. He is socially awkward and very much a momma’s boy. He’s a professional student and gets enlisted in the Army.

Quotes- Michael: Can’t a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange?

Buster: Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!
Michael: I’ve opened a door here that I regret.

Buster: Sister’s my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter, too?

Actor fact- Tony Hale plays a similar character on HBO’s Veep


1.) Gob

Brief bio- he’s an aspiring ventriloquist/magician who enters the stage to the tune of “Final Countdown”.

Quotes- G.O.B.: Not tricks, Michael, illusions. A trick is something a whore does for money.

G.O.B.: I’m a failure. I can’t even fake the death of a stripper.

G.O.B. (on being a pageant judge): You can’t believe what it does for your sex life.

Michael: I don’t want to hear it.
G.O.B.: I don’t want to say it. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Second place is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third place, although a little bit plain, has super low self-esteem. So I step in and, uh, lay her crown upon my sweet head.

Lucille: Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out?

G.O.B.: She’s not that Mexican, Mom, she’s my Mexican. And she’s Colombian or something. Anyway, it’s over.
Lucille: You’ve got three days.
G.O.B.: Hey … if I can’t find a horny immigrant by then, I don’t deserve to stay here.

Actor fact- Will Arnett has two children with Amy Poehler (they separated in 2012). He’s also an avid Toronto Blue Jays fan which may or may not have elevated him on this list.