Thursday, January 15, 2009

You say you a gangsta but you neva pop nothin'. We say you a wanksta and you need to stop frontin'

The musical genres of rap and hip hop are essentially for black people. It's almost like the old clothing line FUBU (for us by us). But of course, plenty of white kids attempt to 'rebel' against their environments and embrace this music. Rappers and hip hop artists have recognized this suburban market and have, as Jay Z said in the song "Moment of Clarity", dumbed down for their audiences and doubled their dollars. When rap songs turn pop, white kids eat them up and memorize the lyrics. Here then, are the top 10 rap/hip hop songs that make white kids think they are cool because they know the lyrics.

Honorable Mention- Tupac- Changes



Tupac rapped this song relatively slow and therefore it was a little easier to learn the lyrics. Now although my cousin who shall remain nameless has told me that he thinks I am one of the few white kids out there that have this song memorized, I think it is still worthy of being mentioned because every white kid out there was obsessed with thinking that Tupac was still alive. The video is also worthwhile to see again (especially the 1:43 mark). I know girls that love this song and that just goes to show you how mainstream it became.


10.) Sir Mix-A-Lot- Baby Got Back



"Oh, my, god. Becky look at her butt."


This song has been around long enough for the majority of suburbia to memorize at least the beginning of the first verse.

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung


I know plenty of guys out there that consider themselves ass men, but they pale in comparison to black guys. Rich white kids don't grow up infatuated with the backside of females. They focus their adoration on different areas. Black guys are notoriously known for lovvving what are often referred to as BBBW's (big, beautiful, black women).

9.) Dr. Dre- The Next Episode



The Chronic 2001 album was the white kid's rap anthem (Yeah I bought it too). You had "Still D.R.E" and "Forgot About Dre" (Detroit, what?) that were released before "The Next Episode", but it was "The Next Episode" that was championed by White America, and mainly for one lyric.White kids loved to recite the line at the end of the song, "Smoke weed everyday", but no one ever timed it right.

Now that line is not recited in the video that I have above, but it is most definitely on the album. This song is so obviously known to white kids that when I searched for "the next episode" on youtube it told me to also try "smoke weed everyday" and "smoke weed everyday snoop dog". This includes the "Smoke weed everyday" at the end, but look how embarrassing it is.

8.) Mase- Feels so Good



Mase disappeared from the rap game and became a minister (a big time white person rap fact that they thought no one else knew), but before he went away he came out with "Feels so Good". This song was his only signature single and it appealed almost directly to the suburban market. The fact that Puff Daddy opened his verse with this:

Do Mase got the ladies? Yeah, yeah
Do Puff drive Mercedes? Yeah, yeah
Take hits from the 80's? Yeah, yeah
But do it sound so crazy? Yeah, yeah

all but sealed this song's fate as a pop hit.

7.) Jay Z- Big Pimpin'



It was a toss up between this and "Can I get A" (a song that I know better and I am a suburban white kid), but I think "Big Pimpin" was more pervasive among my peers. If a male from the ages of 20-25 denies every having any part of the following lines in their AIM profile or as an away message than they are most likely lying.

Me give my heart to a woman
Not for nothin' never happen'
I'll be forever mackin'


6.) Warren G- Regulate

Regulators
We regulate any stealing of his property
And we damn good too
But you cant be any geek off the street,
Gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean, earn your keep!
Regulators!!! Mount up!

I apologize, but whoever posted this video on youtube disabled the embedding option. I actually like this song a lot, but I feel as if too many people are aware of its greatness. It's kind of like finding a great bathroom that you think is scarcely used, but then you find out that a lot of people are taking care of business in there as well.

5.) Will Smith- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air


Yo homes, smell ya later


This one almost needs no explanation. It would probably be #1 on the countdown if it was an actual song from an album. I don't think I know anybody that doesn't know a handful of lines from this theme song. Little did we know that this song was just the tip of the iceberg. Will Smith became the quintessential white man's rapper with his later work.

4.) 50 Cent- In Da Club



If you watch how I move you'll mistake me for a playa or pimp
Been hit wit a few shells but I dont walk wit a limp


Just think about the absurdity in suburban caucasians uttering these words. How many people do you know that have been shot? I know zero. This song was very catchy from its onset and it took white kids by storm. Most of 50 Cent first album, from what my rap insiders tell me, is very pop oriented and this was the king of them all.

3.) Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg- Ain't Nothing But a G Thang


One, two, three and to the fo

It's from the original Chronic album and at first was solely embraced by its intended audience (black people), but over the course of time white people began to adopt it because of its lyrical quality. The very title of this song illustrates my point. It has nothing to do with white people because what white people out there can be considered G's?

2.) Notorious B.I.G featuring Puff Daddy and Mase- Mo' Money Mo' Problems



Puff Daddy chose to release a feel good song after Christopher Wallace's death and this was just that. Let's look at the cultural contrast from the very beginning of this video. First off, the title "Mo' Money Mo'Problems". The only white guy that ever said Mo was Mike O'Malley on Guts. Let's go the leader board with Mo, MO! Secondly, black people playing golf?? Come onnn. If that's not an attempt to appeal to white people, I don't know what is.

While Puff Daddy's closing line in the second verse, "And I'm bigger than the city like down in Times Square. Yeah, yeah yeah,"is very popular, it is the third verse (Notorious B.I.G's) that is the most well known. If you have that verse memorized (and I'll assume a bunch of you do), please don't ever recite it in front of people.

1.) Notorious B.I.G.- Juicy



So I was at a party at a girl's house in New Jersey in the summer going into my junior year in college and this song came on. Literally on cue, as if I needed another reason to hate Jersey, the host's older brother (a college senior or older at the time) and his friends proceeded to sing this song as if they were Biggie Smalls reincarnated. My friends and I were thoroughly unimpressed because we decided that kids in 6th grade probably knew the words to this song. It truly is a shame that suburban white kids have ruined a song about a drug dealing black man making it in the rap game.



What do you think of the top 10?
Do you also hate New Jersey? Would you have added anything different to the list?

4 comments:

MBDCMPMCE said...

as the official rap ambassador for all white people who simply goes by the name MBDCMPMCE, id like to share my thoughts:

1) you are indeed the only white kid who can recite changes

2) tupac is still alive

3)you make a joke about white kids feeling proud about knowing mase was a minister (correct) but completely botched the timeline. mase released "feels so good" years before spreading the good news of the lord. it was the song appropriately titled "welcome back" which brought him back onto the scene.

4) you shoulda tossed this under the fresh prince of bel-air portion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE8usUf5IWw

Kyle Korver said...

1)those kids from jersey were the biggest tools in the world
2)howd you come up with this idea for a blog, seems like a great idea

Anonymous said...

Gansta's Paradise by Coolio should be 1A. Great rap or greatest rap?


-the room A lean

Anonymous said...

when i saw the title of the post, i immediately thought of the kids from Jersey. And you sir did not disappoint. fuckin mahwah