Guilty Pleasures

I make no secret about my anti-feminist stance. That is not to say that women don't deserve equal rights (they do). It's just that I think the feminists of the world pick and choose the wrong battles in their quest for equality. For example, in 2003 feminists got all hot and bothered because women were not allowed to be members at Augusta National. I could rant about the irrationality/hypocrisy behind their flawed logic, but I'll spare you from my wrath.

My staunch masculine agenda is part conviction, part unintentional, and part facade. In all honesty, I'm a supporter of women's rights, but like I said in the above paragraph, I am not a supporter of the women that champion this campaign. My opinion on the matter infuriates many, my mother included. She once thought that I made an anti-female remark before realizing that it was her brother (my uncle, who's the man) that was the one who made it. Apparently he said to her quite simply that he does not read books written by women. Upon hearing this, I went up to my room and perused my bookcase. Sure enough, every book that I had read was written by a man. (However it should be noted that I have read the first 4 Harry Potter books). Ever since then, I have held fast to my stance against feminist (or I guess just female) literature. I wish I could say the same about female music.

Most guys do their best to give off this macho male persona, but behind closed doors they are a sucker for plenty of what would be characterized as feminine things. Whether it's teen dramas on TV, romantic comedies, or female pop songs, the feminine things guys secretly enjoy are oftentimes referred to as "guilty pleasures." The point being, you feel guilty about enjoying something because you know others would criticize you for it.

Here now, are the top 10 songs by female artists that I secretly (well not anymore) enjoy.

10.) Taylor Swift- Love Story



This song was overplayed more than "The Macarena" and "Who Let the Dogs Out" combined, but I still think it's awesome. I know for a fact that I'm not the only guy that feels that way because a friend of mine introduced me to this song last Fall by making me watch this video. The inclusion of "Love Story" fulfills my Country song quota for this countdown, so I must give my apologies to what is now my second favorite Country song by a female artist.

9.) Natalie Imbruglia- Torn



I was 11 when this song came out and liking it wasn't exactly frowned upon then, but the fact that I still enjoy it gets it into the top ten. I mean, I had plenty of years to get over it, but somehow, someway it ended up on my ipod. I don't have a one hit wonder quota to fulfill, but if I did this one certainly would have covered it.

8.) Cyndi Lauper- Time After Time



Lauper's timeless classic first debuted in 1984 and was nominated for Song of the Year at the 1985 Grammy's (Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do with it came out on top). If LeBron likes it, why can't I, right?

Speaking of the '80's, it's a shame that there isn't enough room on the countdown for the 1982 Grammy Award winning hit "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes.


7.) Whitney Houston- One Moment in Time

This song was made for sports related picture/video montages. In fact, it was written for NBC's coverage of the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul (that's in South Korea, by the way). Now, my highschool football team was not littered with Olympians, but this song was a staple of our season highlight tape every year. A friend of mine actually once said that he watched the highlight tape over and over, just so he had an excuse to listen to this song.

Although the song was written for American Olympians, this video is still pretty cool.



6.) Christina Aguilera- What A Girl Wants



This might be the most difficult song on the list to admit to liking because the title is inherently female. "What A Girl Wants" came out at the peak of my TRL viewing career and it was a personal favorite of mine because I had a huge crush on Christina Aguilera. The video reinforced my belief that the female stomach is a very underrated feature. I think it's rarely talked about because it goes without saying that guys are superficial and obviously prefer skinny girls. Being skinny is great, but a little tone/definition on the belly can be an appealing attribute. Too much definition though, can be unattractive. It's a fine line, but something for women everywhere to strive for.

5.) Celine Dion- That's The Way It Is



The Blue Jays and Pamela Anderson aside, Celine Dion is the greatest thing to ever come out of Canada. As many of you know, I'm also a big fan of Celine's Christmas music, but there was no way I could have chosen a personal favorite from those, so I went in another direction. I mean, what can I say? Celine Dion's music has been force fed to me my entire life by driving in a car with my mother (For those of you that have their doubts, she does in fact have her license).

Back in the highschool, a girl burned me a copy of this Celine Dion album and gave it to me in front of a huge crowd in the middle of the hallway at school the next day. Knowing that I would face public scrutiny if my friends found out what was on the CD, I played it off and said, "Thanks for burning me the new Jay-Z CD. I really appreciate it." Thankfully she just laughed instead of blowing up my spot.

4.) One of my friends from home went on to play baseball in college at Florida Atlantic (I think). He was a left-handed starter in highschool, but they made him a closer in college. Some closers in the major leagues (namely Yankee closer Mariano Rivera) are known for their bad ass entrance music, so I asked my buddy what his was going to be. He responded with the 4th song on my countdown of guilty pleasure's:

Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

3.) Michelle Branch- Breathe



This song is actually great for long road trips because it gives you a little pick me up if you are getting tired. I have this song on a CD that I made (Track 9) and you better believe that I used to casually skip it over when I was driving across the state of New York with my oldest brother.

2.) Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles

A few things about this song. 1.) Vanessa Carlton really one-upped The Proclaimers who would only walk 500 miles. 2.) Vanessa Carlton is smokin' hot in a free thinking artistic kind of way. 3.) I listened to this song 4 times in the course of this post.

And 4.) Back when this song first came out (circa 2003-04), two of my friends were driving somewhere and this song came on the radio. They obviously both loved the song, but didn't want the other to know. It prompted the following exchange, which is eerily similar to the scene from Tommy Boy (1995).

Friend A- You can change it if you want to.
Friend B- It's up to you.
Friend A- I don't care either way.
Friend B- I can deal with it if you can.

1.) Mariah Carey- Always Be My Baby


Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby (Official Music Video) -

Choosing this Mariah Carey song for me was a no-brainer because I may or may not know every word, but much like Celine Dion, I could have went with any number of her hits. I'm also a big fan of both "Hero" and "One Sweet Day" (featuring Boyz II Men). To date, Mariah still has the most #1 hits of any solo artist of all time. The only band with more #1's than her is The Beatles. It should come as no surprise then that they both have albums referencing their #1 hits. Mariah with the aptly titled #1's, which she released in 1998, and The Beatles with, The Beatles One, which was released in 2000.


Honorable Mention- Enya- "Only Time", Monica- "For You I Will", Jewel- "Hands", Avril Lavigne- "Complicated", Mandy Moore- "Candy", Jessica Simpson- "With You"