To settle the "debate" not only did Cottonelle post a poll on their website, but they even took their "roll poll" to the streets. They sent employees all over the country and had them ask random people which way they preferred to have their toilet paper rolled.
Here are some of the results:
Yes folks, Kristen in Atlanta is the writer of stopping to smell the roses, which sadly hasn't been updated in months. She was in the park with a friend when a woman with a video camera approached and asked if they'd like to particpate in a nationwide poll. They said yes, filled out release forms, and that was that. They also recently received a check for $200 for their participation.
Now after seeing the clip my first question, of course, was, "How did you know which way the toilet paper is rolled in hotel rooms?" She claims that she's just been in a lot of hotel rooms, but that's neither here nor there.
This toilet paper talk actually brings us to a more important debate. After you terrorize the toilet, do you stand and wipe? or do you remain seated?
You may think that this is an easy question to answer, but like with religion, most people just assume that their way is the proper way. To show you the range of responses that this question usually garners, I scoured a handful of forums to find the following:
Sitters:
"I think people that stand when wiping need to be locked up and evaluated before being let back into society with the rest of us."
"I shudder to think that I may actually know a standing wiper."
"I can't fathom how people think standing up to wipe their ass is acceptable."
"What's interesting is that I was taught as a kid to stand when I wipe. I was taught that only girls wipe sitting. But as I grew older, I realized it was simply more efficient to wipe while sitting. I always felt like I was going to the bathroom wrong if I didn't stand to wipe. But why would you want to stand? Your cheeks get all bunched up, increasing the probability of a nasty smear"
"I always sit, and had no idea anyone wiped while standing up. I still can't figure out how you can stand and wipe without getting shit all over your crack and your cheeks."
Standers:
"Sitters are weird, how do you get your hand in a position?"
"Stander here. I tried sitting down and wiping once, and I don't see how you do it without your penis touching the toilet rim. From what I understand, you have to lean forward, and then my penis ends up touching the toilet rim, and there still isn't enough room for my hand to get in from the back without touching the toilet seat. Yeah, weird."
"I'm a stander, it just seems much easier that way. The couple of times I've tried it sitting it was just awkward, balancing on one ass cheek and rubbing the back of my hand against the toilet rim, just didn't see the point to it."
"I don't get this contempt the sitters have for the standers, choose what ever works for you and celebrate diversity."
"Sitting down is just way too close to the imagined uncleanliness of the toilet/waste for my mild-OCD to cope with. Standing is less efficient, but it doesn't threaten me with near panic attacks like the prospect of sitting does."
As one of the world's leading experts on fecal matter I feel as if it is my duty to share my own personal style with you. Similarly to one of the respondents, I was potty trained to stand. I also just assumed that everyone else (with a penis) did likewise. That was until I read Poop Culture. As I poured through the pages of that groundbreaking literary work I began experimenting with different styles. Shortly thereafter I betrayed by my standing roots and became a sitter (I wipe with my left hand)
After thinking about it for a minute (I think most people stand because they never take the time to think about it) it just made more sense. Standing invariably makes the wiping process more difficult because doing so causes your ass cheeks to squish together.
Now I will admit that there isn't a lot of room in the bowl when you remain seated, but trust me, there's enough.
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