Hate List 2.0

Well folks, I think it's about time to update my hate list. Again, it's more of a "things that irriate/annoy me" list, but hate sounds a lot cooler. For those of you that have forgotten, my first installment went a little something like this:

1.) One word text messages
2.) Women that keep their maiden names
3.) Cigarette smoking
4.) Drew Barrymore
5.) People that wait at a 4-way stop sign until an oncoming car comes to a complete stop before they go
6.) Pocket dialing
7.) Touchdown. Commercial. Kickoff. Commercial.
8.) The word "cliche"
9.) People who smack their lips when they eat
10.) The "Happy Birthday (insert name here)" Facebook wall post

And now for installment version 2.0....

1.) People who reference the speech writing process when giving a speech- Like give the speech, don't tell the audience about your thought process when you sat down to write the speech. I think it's tacky when people say things like, "When I was first asked to give this speech I immediately thought of the quote by", "When I thought about what I would say today, I wrote down a few key points", "In college I was taught to start a speech with a quote, joke, or personal story".

Is your speech about giving a speech? or is there an actual topic? The commencement speaker at my sisters' graduation last weekend commited this faux pas and it particularly bothered me because that is like the major league of giving speeches.

Speaking of giving a commencement speech, I think I'm going to add that to my lifelong to-do list. I don't know how I'm going to become worthy of such an honor, but I think I could deliver a rip-roaring, practical commencement address.

2.) People who claim that they can't see a credit card/ticket screen- I've been behind two such people (more often than not women) in the past month and it's irked me both times. The first was a woman buying a train ticket on the platform who took forever claiming that she couldn't see the screen because of the glare. Now I'll admit that sometimes there is a glare, but it's really not that hard to deal with. All you have to do is position your body in front of the screen and focus just a little bit and you should have no problem. Another fool proof method is to wear sunglasses (which I do not do).

Which brings us to the second time this happened to me in the past month. A woman in front of me at the checkout in the grocery store claimed that she couldn't read the credit card screen, which is mind boggling because there isn't a glare when you're indoors. Her problem was that she was wearing sunglasses (which I contend still shouldn't have made it difficult to read the screen).

I consider myself to be a relatively patient person, but when things like this slow me up, I get a little upset.

3.) People who fail to take control of the intersection when making a left hand turn- If you're the first in line at a red light and it turns green, under no circumstances should you have to wait at that red light again. How people don't realize this is beyond me. Let's say you're taking a left, but a long line of cars in the opposite direction is going straight. What you should do is idle out into the middle of the intersection to "take control". This way, when the light turns red, you have to complete your turn or else traffic can not continue. I'm under the impression that at least two cars per green light cycle should be able to make a left hand turn even if traffic in the opposite direction is continuous. Too many times have I sat behind someone that doesn't take control and is subsequently forced to wait through the same red light twice.

4.) The "Wow, that's a low price" Staples commercial- This, to me, is negative advertising. If I need office supplies I am now going to go out of way to avoid Staples because of this horrendously annoying commercial. I'm not kidding when I say that it's right up there with the 13 letter word for marriage proposal travesty that I bagged on months ago. I literally cringe every time I see it and immediately turn the dial.

5.) When all of the responses to an email chain on Gmail suddenly repurpose themselves and you have to scroll through them all to see the most recent response- I'm not sure if I explained that properly, but that's something that I'll never understand.

6.) Meryl Streep- Everyone always says that, "She's such a great actress" "She's the actress of our generation" "She's beautiful", but let's get a few things straight. I'm willing to admit that she's a very talented actress. There's no denying that; however I've never enjoyed any of her performances. To me, she seems a bit pretentious, especially at the Academy Awards. Also, she's definitely not the actress of my generation seeing that she's 37 years my senior. Lastly, she's by no means "beautiful" now and quite frankly she wasn't that good looking back in her hey day.

7.) When my DVR fails to record the scenes from the next episode- This isn't a huge deal, but I'm a sucker for the scenes for the next episode, so I get bothered when I miss them. I also routinely miss The Daily Show's moment of zen about once a week even though I record The Daily Show from 11-11:30 and The Colbert Report from 11:30-12. How that's possible I can't figure out. I realize that the DVR is set to record by exact times, but can't we figure out a way to record the shows themselves from start to finish?

8.) Ironing- I can't stand ironing. It's such a tedious and annoying task. Not to mention that I think I'm bad at it (if that's even possible). I'll iron a shirt and pants and there won't be any wrinkles. Then I'll put said shirt and pants on and it's wrinkles galore. Call me crazy, but I think that not having to iron your clothes ever again (as well as other tedious tasks) is a major selling point for marriage.

9.) Facebook messages from events- There's nothing worse than signing onto Facebook and seeing that you have a message only to then find out that it's from an event that you haven't responded to yet. Oh the party starts at 8:15 instead of 8:30? The open bar is $40 not $35? Seriously, I don't care. Stop wasting my time.

10.) Wearing glasses in the rain- There's some money to made here. Someone needs to invent something to literally wipe this problem away (sorry about the bad pun, it's what I do). I don't think wipers on glasses are really practical, but maybe water resistant glasses? Quickdry frames?