As promised here is Chapter 10 of my memoir. If you still need to catch up (you have a lot of reading to do) then click here and scroll to the bottom.
Chapter 10
This column was one of my favorites. Not because it was funny (it wasn’t) and not because of the reaction it garnered (it didn’t garner much of anything), but because I was very pleased with my war analogy. This whole notion of writing about something by using the terms of something entirely different is a popular literary technique1, but something I had never done before. Looking back, my first hack at it was poorly crafted and could use a lot of work, but I still think that the idea was great.
Now I’m not sure if my column filled with war imagery had anything to do with it, but in the wake of the “controversy” that I had started a new female group was formed on campus. I wish I was joking, but they decided to call themselves “The Vagina Warriors”. How this group was deemed appropriate by the powers that be at Fairfield University is still beyond me. Case in point, if a bunch of guys wanted to form a group to discuss male empowerment and decided to call themselves “The Penis Brigade” or something of that ilk it would have been shut down almost immediately. Now what these cunt cadets actually did I’m not sure, but I do know that they had a president and vice president of the group which I’m sure looked great on their resumes.
The mixed reaction to my provocative language continued in the week that followed “The Dan Stanczyk issue of The Mirror.” While walking to class one day a former politics professor of mine said, “Hey Dan. I love what you’re doing. Keep it up,” as he walked on by. This came as a bit of a surprise because I wasn’t entirely sure that this professor knew my name. In most of my classes I was outspoken enough to build a rapport with the professor, but that was not the case in this instance. I took his Introduction to Political Theory class in the fall of my junior year and it was held at 9:30 on Tuesdays and Friday in the Dolan School of Business which was approximately 938 miles from my townhouse. I generally stumbled in, sat in the back, and tried to avoid falling asleep. There were plenty of people in this class that regularly answered the professor’s questions, so I didn’t feel compelled to do so. I often caved when a professor asked a question and no one raised their hand. That apathetic silence, or genuine uncertainty, got to me.
For some reason this man remembered me well enough to go out of his way to encourage my efforts as a writer. I assume he was just excited that there was finally some sort of buzz among the student body. Back in the ‘70’s American colleges and universities were filled with kids that had strong opinions about the War in Vietnam. Those strong opinions fostered spirited political debates on campuses all across the country. In the mid to late 00’s students didn’t care about anything. Political discourse was largely absent among co-eds. Issues simply didn’t affect them anymore. This trend must have been disheartening for politics professors who lived through the ‘70s. Because of this shift toward political apathy I imagine that my former professor was just thrilled to see that people actually cared about an issue on campus, as trivial as it may have been. Finally students were engaged and talking about something more important than the party they were going to later that night.
Another politics professor got in on the act that week by referring to me simply as “He Said” when he took attendance (yes, he took attendance. The only professor I had at Fairfield that did). I didn’t think too much of this response from my past and present politics professors, but as soon as a female religious studies professor that I had my freshmen year started saying hello to me as we crossed paths I knew that the faculty had officially taken notice. Two is a coincidence. Three is a trend. I generally didn’t care for this woman or her class and I still don’t understand how she had me as a student, went two and a half years without saying a word to me, and then decided that it was cool to start saying hi like we had kept in touch since I took her shitty class, but I still exchanged pleasantries with her when she initiated.
The positive feedback kept pouring in as The Mirror ran this letter to the editor, which in my opinion put the “controversy” in the proper context, the following week.
Stanczyk not all bad?
I am writing in response to the "He Said" column (insert complaint about insulting women and degradation here). I wear Uggs religiously, I attended an all-girls high school, and I am a female student-athlete. I enjoy wearing huge sunglasses at night, and I love pink hats. In fact, I could definitely beat Dan in a sprint. The problem is, he would not know that because I have never challenged him. And, Stanczyk-bashers, neither have you.
Ladies, I am all for girl power. In fact, I am an advocate of women's rights. I feel, however, that the type of response the "He Said" column has generated directly relates to the stereotypes Stanczyk has perpetuated weekly. Facebook groups entitled "He Said Shit" essentially mean nothing without follow-through. We, the gorgeous women we are, love to talk and all of your talk with lack of action shows the extent to which we have tried to affect change. If you want an apology from him, demand one. I am sure he would love to talk to you; in fact, I believe he said in this week's Mirror that he would be "more than happy" to speak with the offended parties.
"He Said" is not journalism. It is, however, a thought-provoking, public outlet for guy with a strong writer's voice. He has the right to make a statement. Editorials should encourage discussion or recognition of stereotypes. Did anyone ever stop and think that maybe that is Stanczyk's purpose?
Props to Mirror Editor in Chief Steph L. I think it is pretty cool that a female editor can handle Stanczyk's brutal opinions with the grace she portrayed in her recent column. It would be a shame to see freedom of speech silenced at the college level. I think that "He Said" has a great comedic sense. Some comments are offensive, sure, yet almost too ridiculous to be taken as truth. I think that is his point. The column provides entertainment, and that should be the extent of it. My friends and I continue to read The Mirror every week. In fact, I hear of more people reading The Mirror now. People actually care about a hot topic on campus - wait, what?
Most people, including me, usually get pissed off when another person points out what they do not like to see in themselves. Wear your Uggs proudly and give Stanczyk a "swift kick in the shins" in person. I'm sure he would laugh. He might even start to think a little differently. Think about it.
Sincerely,
Kristen M '09
Now in the interest of full disclosure, Kristen was one of the most interesting people I met in my four years at Fairfield. That said, she proudly wrote this article of her own volition. Kristen and I met in the fall of my sophomore year. She was a freshman living in Regis Hall, where my friend and future housemate Greg was an RA. The two of them hit it off in the first month of the school year and soon began hooking up. In late October Greg invited her and her friend, along with Tim, Max, and I to his parents’ house in nearby Trumbull, CT for dinner. A day or two before the dinner Greg told me that Kristen was perfect for me2, which was ironic because he was hooking up with her, but it only took a few conversations with her to find out that he was right.
Kristen was an athletic 5’4 with thoughtful, glossy-brown eyes, dark hair that went just past her shoulder, and an adorable smile. She was from the outskirts of Philadelphia and played field hockey at Fairfield. I was immediately drawn to her because she was engaging, cute, sarcastic, and had a realistic sense of the world. Not long after meeting at Greg’s parents’ house we began talking to each other on a regular basis. Mostly just via AOL Instant Messenger. For whatever reason our personalities just meshed. Eventually Greg, the hound dog that he was, moved on to another girl and hurt Kristen’s feelings in the process, but the end of their “relationship” was not the end to ours. We continued talking throughout the year and although I had developed strong feelings for her I never put my cards on the table or made a move because I wasn’t sure if she’d reciprocate and I was petrified of rejection.
We remained friends during my junior year, but didn’t really see each other much. That was until I stumbled back to my townhouse one night in October to find Kristen sitting on our couch with my housemate Pete. Pete, who lived in Room A with Glancy, was 6’3 with light olive skin, brown eyes, and in a way resembled a llama. He was 100% Greek and had an almost permanent 5 o’clock shadow.
Pete and Kristen met at a party that night and hooked up. I wasn’t happy about it, but Pete had no idea that I had feelings for her. Dylan and Matty K did, so they let me have it pretty good as Pete continued to send late night texts to meet up with her in the coming weeks. I obviously wasn’t thrilled that Pete continued to hook up with Kristen, but there was nothing I could do. I wasn’t going to be so petty as to cock block my housemate just because I had feelings for a girl that I had never even made out with. Eventually their brief romance fizzled and all was back to normal.
The next semester Kristen and I ended up in the same News Writing class taught by Fran. With the Kristen in my grade abroad in Australia, my attention was squarely on this younger Kristen (there must be something about the name), regardless of what had happened with her and Pete. As the semester continued we starting talking more and more (mainly about how much we loved Fran) and eventually Kristen’s roommate (the same girl that came to Greg’s parents’ house a year and a half earlier) told me in a very middle school way that Kristen was interested in me romantically. Sooner or later the two of us began “dating.” I took her out a few times, we hung out on weekends, etc. One night she came to my townhouse real late after partying with kids in her grade in the dorms and after a little playful chatter we soon made our way up to my bedroom. On the way up Kristen delivered the immortal line, “Why do I feel like I’ve walked up these stairs before?”
After a month or so of this “relationship” things came to a screeching halt. One weekend I was away visiting a few of my friends at a school in western New York when Kristen called and gave me some mumbo jumbo about how she couldn’t do this anymore, she wasn’t ready for a commitment, my friends were assholes, etc. She was hammered and I could hardly hear what she was saying, but apparently she meant it because when I got back to stag country that was that. Naturally I was crushed. I didn’t know what I did or what she wanted, but I had to deal with it.
Despite seeing each other in News Writing class twice a week we did not speak for a solid month and a half afterwards. During that stretch there were multiple times where I wanted to talk to her, but I told myself that I couldn’t based solely on principle. Eventually she cracked (I’m competitive even when it comes to things like who can be more stubborn) and IMed me one day about something inconsequential and we started talking like old times.
At the end of the semester we each had to meet with Fran to discuss the work that we had completed throughout our 5 month stretch as wannabe writers. In my meeting Fran mentioned how she was surprised that Kristen and not me had taken an internship with The Stamford Advocate’s Sports Department (the same internship that I would go on to have in the fall of my senior year). Fran had the editor and one of the writers come speak to our class and then gave us their contact information. Upon mention of Kristen, I asked Fran if she even knew that Kristen and I were friends. We hardly, if ever, spoke to each other in class and went a solid month and a half without even acknowledging each other’s existence.
“Friends?” she said, “I just hope I get an invitation to the wedding.”
“Really?” I responded in my best effort to remain coy, even though I was floored at her comment. Both because I didn’t expect her to say that and because I was thrilled that she thought about the two of us that way.
“I’m a reporter, Dan. I notice things.”
Fran was wrong, but Kristen and I remained friends throughout the summer and into the fall of my senior year. I rarely saw her though because she wasn’t 21 and therefore couldn’t get in to The Seagrape (the bar near the point that all of the seniors frequented). Also, I knew that our romantic history was just that, so there was no way that I was going to head back to campus for a night. Besides, I was all sorts of hung up on the Kristen in my grade and there was Jackie and Alyssa.
So when Kristen told me (via AIM, of course) that she was writing a letter to the editor about this so-called “controversy I demanded that she send it to me first. She obliged and after reading through her letter I was initially disappointed. I figured that one of my friends would have my back and rail against my haters. I had such a me against the world attitude at the time that it would have taken a lot for me to approve. It took me a while to realize it, but Kristen’s letter was actually the perfect defense. Simply put, she got it. She understood both sides of the equation (me and the staunch feminists) and was able to accurately put things in perspective.
Sure my purpose was not to raise awareness about the lack of gender equality in our society, but by making my male classmates laugh by way of female stereotypes the issue was brought to the forefront. Rather than use this opportunity to engage in a lively debate about one of the pitfalls of our college culture the majority of females took the opposite approach. They attacked what they saw as the new face of this injustice (me) with the kind of vitriol that only enhanced the very negative stereotypes that they were trying to disprove. Now I was by no means innocent, but lashing out against me was not the right calling card for social change.
In the mean time the calendar had given Jackie and I another obvious topic.
The Mirror on November 14th, 2007
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is all about restoring the American notion of patriarchy for a day. Sure women have made plenty of advances in society and there is still plenty of room for social mobility, but Thanksgiving puts that drive on hold like the Notre Dame offense this year. The women go back to their rightful office of the kitchen and prepare a feast while men lounge around and watch America’s number one sport: Football.
Thanksgiving, appropriately named, is a time to give thanks and this is what we should all be thankful for this year.
Football- Nothing beats tossin’ the old pigskin around with your family and friends. Things get heated once those turkey bowl games get underway and Uncle Bill starts cheating. Uncle Bill its not 1984 anymore3. You’re more washed up than Pauly Shore. Who said winning isn’t everything? If you aren’t first, you’re last4.
Football on TV- Once the meal and family time are over, grab a piece of pumpkin pie and get ready for the real fun to begin. The Lions are actually a good team this year and Favre and the Packers are back. Now while you thought you devoured everything in sight, just wait for the Cowboys to feast on the Jets. And please tell me John Madden isn’t announcing this year. He needs to get hit by his own bus. Boom.
The Wednesday night before Thanksgiving- aka the biggest drinking night of the year. St. Patrick’s day is pretty sloppy but on November 21st, the Irish learn who really knows how to party; Americans…because we are in America.
The Back to the Future marathon on TBS- The Delorean is great, but hopefully the tryptophan will kick in as soon as II ends and III begins. That Wild West might be worse than the Will Smith movie.
Stags Basketball- The season is finally here. The Stags might feel like mashed potatoes after their non conference schedule is over, but once the MAAC season starts it will be all gravy.
Also let’s be thankful that for at least another year we will have a male president. Now relax femi-nazis. It’s not women I dislike, its Hilary. So what if I’m bitter that she’s a senator from New York and she’s not even from there. On the other hand, if she does win, Bill would be back in the White House getting his saxophone played by interns. And this time it wouldn’t be an obstruction of justice.
1 See “The Crucible” by Arthur Miller↩
2 The only other time a friend told me that was during my sophomore year when Robby told me that the Kristen in my grade was perfect for me. Pretty crazy that my friends knew me that well.↩
3 I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but this was a clear reference to Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite (2004)↩
4 A line made famous in the 2007 comedy Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, which just so happened to be on our DirecTV package seemingly every day of the school year. I watched it upwards of 11 times and it got funnier every time.↩
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Hate List 4.0
It's time to update my Hate List. In case you were wondering, I got the idea from a girl I went to high school with who started her own list on Facebook. If you'd like to read my first three installments you can access them by clicking here.
1.) People who say/post the phrase “Is this real life?”- Yes, it is. Grow up. In many ways saying “Is this real life?” is a not so clever way to humblebrag. Listen many resorts are nice, so when you post a picture from your hotel room view or from the pool/beach I don’t think that you’ve gone to an alternate universe. My mind can comprehend that you’re just in a place where the weather is warm and the sun is out.
2.) People who ask for a retweet- 98% of the time it’s pathetic, desperate, and downright embarrassing. I’m willing to give those looking to promote a good cause a pass, but even then I think asking for a retweet is dumb. How many times have you clicked on a link that was retweeted by a celebrity and is preceded by the words, “Can I get a RT?”? Why do people ask celebrities for a retweet anyway? Just so they can tell their friends that Lady Gaga retweeted them? If someone told me that a celebrity retweeted them my first question would be, “What was the tweet?” If they replied, “It was ‘Can I get a RT for my birthday?” I’d never talk to them again. If you really want someone marginally famous to retweet you than think of something witty or provocative and take your chances.
3.) Facebook telling me which articles or videos my “friends” have read or watched- On the surface this seems like it’s actually a pretty good idea, but I really don’t care what some broad I met in my sophomore year History class is reading or watching on Socialcam (what is that?). There has to be a way to turn this thing off, right? Or to at least only allow it to show me what certain friends have read. There are certain people whose book/article recommendations I actually care about, but it’s a select few (10-12 tops).
4.) Girls that use their middle name as their last name on Facebook- I understand that some girls do this when they are searching for a job. I also understand if girls are teachers and don’t want their students to find them on Facebook. I get that. But either I have 23 or so “friends” that are teachers or looking for a job (yes, I counted) or girls do this just to seem cool. Seriously, other than the 4 pictures from college where you’re holding a solo cup and the post on your wall from your BFF where she says, “Where’ve you been slut?”, what is there to hide?
Let the record show that some guys change their last names to something dumb (never their middle name), but they’re just gay. Not gay in the mocking sense. Actually homosexuals.
5.) The Taco Bell commercial where a Mexican looking kid allegedly drove over 900 miles just to try the new Doritos Locos Taco- To even suggest that this actually happened is an insult to the intelligence of the American public. No one drives 900 miles unless they’re moving or traveling across country, let alone to try a taco that has a shell made of Doritos.
6.) Moving- I recently moved for the 4th time in 42 months and I always think that the process is going to be easy, but I’m always wrong. Once I move all of my clothes (despite my lack of even a remote sense of fashion I have a lot of clothes) I think that I’m home free, but I’m not. I know that the big stuff is going to be a pain, but it’s the small tables, trash cans, etc. that you never account for. They keep adding up and ultimately drive you crazy. The worst part of moving is that it’s never a smooth process. Something invariably goes wrong. For example, two weeks ago I quickly packed a bunch of random stuff in a suitcase before realizing that an entire bottle/carton of laundry detergent spilled everywhere because the top wasn’t fastened tightly enough. I also had already moved my screwdrivers into my new residence, so I had to go buy another one in order to take the feet off of my couch.
7.) Looking for a parking spot- Good luck getting a parking spot at ESPN at 1:05 on a Tuesday. Nothing in my day to day life is more frustrating than looking for a parking spot. Obviously I go George Costanza style and circle for the dream spot before meticulously scouring row after row in 3 different lots. The worst is watching 2-3 cars pull into empty spots during my mile walk to the office after finally finding a spot after 10-15 minutes of searching.
8.) Basic grammatical errors- One of the producers at work consistently gets the words ‘affect’ and ‘effect’ mixed up and it drives me crazy. Every time he hands me a pregame show format I find an error within 30 seconds. It’s not that I’m even trying to find them, I just do. It’s always trivial stuff like ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ or ‘our’ and ‘are’, but it baffles me how people in high places get by without a basic understanding of grammar.
9.) Coverage of Tim Tebow- There is a promo for The Herd with Colin Cowherd about Tebow that I must have heard about 585 times by now in which the Herd essentially says, “Tebow’s a backup quarterback. He’s going to be on the punt team. Why are we talking about this? Stop it.” While I don’t disagree, putting it into a promo and playing it over and over runs counter to his very message. Listen, Tebow is a lightning rod for members of the sports media and religious fanatics everywhere. He is a constant talking point. That said, saying that we shouldn’t talk about Tebow just adds fuel to the fire because by doing so you are actually talking about Tebow. It’s a self-serving argument that adds to what has become a vicious cycle.
It’s only mid-June and I’m reaching my breaking point with Tebow talk. I can’t imagine how I’ll feel in October.
10.) Betty White- I refuse to join in on America’s love affair with her. She’s 90, so I respect the fact that she still has her faculties and is still working, but I don’t care for anything that she’s done. As far as I’m concerned she’s the old lady from a Snickers commercial. Now she has a television show? Are we serious?
1.) People who say/post the phrase “Is this real life?”- Yes, it is. Grow up. In many ways saying “Is this real life?” is a not so clever way to humblebrag. Listen many resorts are nice, so when you post a picture from your hotel room view or from the pool/beach I don’t think that you’ve gone to an alternate universe. My mind can comprehend that you’re just in a place where the weather is warm and the sun is out.
2.) People who ask for a retweet- 98% of the time it’s pathetic, desperate, and downright embarrassing. I’m willing to give those looking to promote a good cause a pass, but even then I think asking for a retweet is dumb. How many times have you clicked on a link that was retweeted by a celebrity and is preceded by the words, “Can I get a RT?”? Why do people ask celebrities for a retweet anyway? Just so they can tell their friends that Lady Gaga retweeted them? If someone told me that a celebrity retweeted them my first question would be, “What was the tweet?” If they replied, “It was ‘Can I get a RT for my birthday?” I’d never talk to them again. If you really want someone marginally famous to retweet you than think of something witty or provocative and take your chances.
3.) Facebook telling me which articles or videos my “friends” have read or watched- On the surface this seems like it’s actually a pretty good idea, but I really don’t care what some broad I met in my sophomore year History class is reading or watching on Socialcam (what is that?). There has to be a way to turn this thing off, right? Or to at least only allow it to show me what certain friends have read. There are certain people whose book/article recommendations I actually care about, but it’s a select few (10-12 tops).
4.) Girls that use their middle name as their last name on Facebook- I understand that some girls do this when they are searching for a job. I also understand if girls are teachers and don’t want their students to find them on Facebook. I get that. But either I have 23 or so “friends” that are teachers or looking for a job (yes, I counted) or girls do this just to seem cool. Seriously, other than the 4 pictures from college where you’re holding a solo cup and the post on your wall from your BFF where she says, “Where’ve you been slut?”, what is there to hide?
Let the record show that some guys change their last names to something dumb (never their middle name), but they’re just gay. Not gay in the mocking sense. Actually homosexuals.
5.) The Taco Bell commercial where a Mexican looking kid allegedly drove over 900 miles just to try the new Doritos Locos Taco- To even suggest that this actually happened is an insult to the intelligence of the American public. No one drives 900 miles unless they’re moving or traveling across country, let alone to try a taco that has a shell made of Doritos.
6.) Moving- I recently moved for the 4th time in 42 months and I always think that the process is going to be easy, but I’m always wrong. Once I move all of my clothes (despite my lack of even a remote sense of fashion I have a lot of clothes) I think that I’m home free, but I’m not. I know that the big stuff is going to be a pain, but it’s the small tables, trash cans, etc. that you never account for. They keep adding up and ultimately drive you crazy. The worst part of moving is that it’s never a smooth process. Something invariably goes wrong. For example, two weeks ago I quickly packed a bunch of random stuff in a suitcase before realizing that an entire bottle/carton of laundry detergent spilled everywhere because the top wasn’t fastened tightly enough. I also had already moved my screwdrivers into my new residence, so I had to go buy another one in order to take the feet off of my couch.
7.) Looking for a parking spot- Good luck getting a parking spot at ESPN at 1:05 on a Tuesday. Nothing in my day to day life is more frustrating than looking for a parking spot. Obviously I go George Costanza style and circle for the dream spot before meticulously scouring row after row in 3 different lots. The worst is watching 2-3 cars pull into empty spots during my mile walk to the office after finally finding a spot after 10-15 minutes of searching.
8.) Basic grammatical errors- One of the producers at work consistently gets the words ‘affect’ and ‘effect’ mixed up and it drives me crazy. Every time he hands me a pregame show format I find an error within 30 seconds. It’s not that I’m even trying to find them, I just do. It’s always trivial stuff like ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ or ‘our’ and ‘are’, but it baffles me how people in high places get by without a basic understanding of grammar.
9.) Coverage of Tim Tebow- There is a promo for The Herd with Colin Cowherd about Tebow that I must have heard about 585 times by now in which the Herd essentially says, “Tebow’s a backup quarterback. He’s going to be on the punt team. Why are we talking about this? Stop it.” While I don’t disagree, putting it into a promo and playing it over and over runs counter to his very message. Listen, Tebow is a lightning rod for members of the sports media and religious fanatics everywhere. He is a constant talking point. That said, saying that we shouldn’t talk about Tebow just adds fuel to the fire because by doing so you are actually talking about Tebow. It’s a self-serving argument that adds to what has become a vicious cycle.
It’s only mid-June and I’m reaching my breaking point with Tebow talk. I can’t imagine how I’ll feel in October.
10.) Betty White- I refuse to join in on America’s love affair with her. She’s 90, so I respect the fact that she still has her faculties and is still working, but I don’t care for anything that she’s done. As far as I’m concerned she’s the old lady from a Snickers commercial. Now she has a television show? Are we serious?
Thursday, June 7, 2012
That's What He Said- Chapter 9
Here's your monthly installment of my memoir. If you don't know what the hell this is, just click here, scroll to the bottom, and catch up.
Chapter 9
Only hours after my column about how girls and sports don’t mix was published I received a vicious Facebook message from a perturbed “sports fan”. She started her message by saying, “In regards to your latest pile of bullshit in The Mirror, I would like to say that you are a disgrace to boys everywhere.” She followed up that diatribe with an attempt to validate her sports knowledge and then to top things off she formed a Facebook group titled “He Said Sh*t”.
As angered females across campus joined this group in slow increments, my supporters rose to the occasion and responded with a Facebook group of their own. A kid that I didn’t even know formed a group titled, “He Said is Why We Read The Mirror.” Battle lines had been drawn. It was a downright snap off between the Sharks and the Jets1.
The female insurgency was clearly outnumbered, but a few outspoken young ladies voiced their outrage the following week with letters to the editor:
To the editor:
Upon reading the "He Said" column this week, I was insulted. It's one thing to make light of the other sex; it's quite another to claim that "the only place for a woman on a field is the sidelines," or that women "catch STDs better than they do footballs."
Dan Stanczyk's article is not only a slap in the face to female athletes and sports enthusiasts but an insult to all women. "He Said" isn't the least bit humorous - it's degrading. Perhaps the editor doesn't realize this, but the "He Said" column - and every other article printed - reflects The Mirror in its entirety.
As such, until something is done about Stanczyk, this is one reader that The Mirror will be losing.
Sincerely,
Jennifer B '10
To the editor:
I'm writing to complain about the "He Said" column of this week's Mirror. I want to know how something like that got by the editor. I'm a tour guide and every week I encourage people to pick up a copy so that they can see just how great Fairfield students are. This week, I will not be advising them to pick up a copy. In fact, if they do I will tell them to put it down as it's not an accurate representation of our university.
I don't understand how lines like "you catch STDs better than you do footballs" were deemed worthy of page space. I've always thought of The Mirror as a great accomplishment of this University, created by students who are passionate about journalism.
This week, I was proven wrong. I've always looked forward to the "He Said/She Said" before, but this year I've been stereotyped, insulted and told that my opinion doesn't matter. It's disrespectful, and it's not entertainment. I'd like an apology and I'm not the only one that deserves one.
Sincerely,
Jennifer L '10
Were these girls right? Maybe, but I held steadfast to my belief that my sole purpose was to entertain the male undergrads. The outrage was such that The Mirror staff (advised by two journalism professors) deemed the “controversy” as a newsworthy campus issue. They assigned a frail, shaggy haired, hacky sack playing sophomore to cover the situation as a news story. I gladly sat down for an interview with this clown to tell my side of the story, but I can’t say that he was my best spokesman.
'He Said': A column of conflict
Women hate it. Class discussions have been devoted to it. It is the bane of one tour guide's existence. It is the column, "He Said."
"This time he's gone too far" is what one Facebook group had to say about the feature writer, Dan Stanczyk '08.
"He Said," which is traditionally a sharp, humorous criticism about a college-themed topic, is printed every week in the Coffee Break section of The Mirror.
Ordinarily, this sort of 'college' column is a magnet for trouble. In fact, just over a month ago, Paige Usyk, a columnist for the University of Florida's Independent Florida Alligator, had to write a piece in her own defense over a prior column about the act of hooking up.
But Stanczyk hasn't spawned disdain for writing with graphic sexual detail. Instead, his critics' main contention is that he is a bigot toward women at Fairfield. Opponents of "He Said" often reference lines such as "You [women] catch STD's better than footballs," and "Girls, if any of you wear Uggs this year, you are going to get a swift kick in the shins."
Some students, such as Brenton Roman '10, argue that Stanczyk would be in much more trouble if he were writing about any another group, be it racial or religious. "He's lucky he hasn't had his ass beat," said Roman.
Mirror Editor in Chief Stephanie Lauto '08 has so far refused calls to eliminate the column. She instead cited it as an example of free speech. "He [Stanczyk] has the right to say what he wants to say. He's protected by the First Amendment in that aspect," she said. "It's not libelous and can, therefore, legally be printed."
Lauto, who is a classmate of Stanczyk's, insisted that he does not have ill intentions. "I know from my personal experience that he's trying to provide readers with stereotypes, and he wants that backlash to see the general commentary of students on campus," she said.
An Introduction to Feminist Thought class wrote a letter to the editor. The project, entitled "We Said," argued that Stanczyk "perpetuates a chilling climate of negativity" toward women.
But Stanczyk disagrees. "I think that everyone just needs to relax a little bit and learn how to take a joke," he said. "Everything that I write isn't exactly how I feel about the situation. I'm not a male chauvinistic a**hole all the time. Every guy has that side to them, and I'm writing to guys."
In a separate interview, FUSA President Hutch Williams '08 seemed to agree with Stanczyk on that note. "The Dan that I talk to and enjoy is not the same Dan that's in 'He Said,'" said Williams. "I never hear Dan verbally saying what he writes in his column."
According to Stanczyk, he has nothing to hide. Addressing the authors of "We Said," Stanczyk said: "Why not just invite me to [speak with] the class? I'm more than willing to do that."
But individual students have been upset by the column as well. Jenn Lawlor '10, creator of the Facebook group, "He Said Sh*t," explained that she's normally open-minded about the column. "Usually, I find it humorous and entertaining, but lately, not so much," she said, adding that she enjoyed the "He Said" column that poked fun at stereotypical costumes that men wear.
Stanczyk was quick to react to Lawlor's position. "The Halloween piece made fun of guys, of course she'd think it was funny," he said.
Stanczyk expressed disagreement with feminists' arguments. "They take what I write and make bad conclusions from it," he said.
However, "He Said" is not without a fan base. The Facebook group, "He Said is Why We Read The Mirror," currently has more members than its counterpart. The group's creator, Chris Gardner '10, declined an interview for fear of being misinterpreted.
Fairfield administrators have long complained about "He Said/ She said," saying it degrades the school's image, whether read on campus or online. The Mirror has a print circulation of 4,000 and even more than that online.
As referenced in that article a “Feminist Thought” class (you couldn’t pay me enough money to take that class) spent an entire week analyzing my columns and crafting a reply. I had heard rumblings that this was going on and I was honestly intrigued about what they would say. In my mind everything that I had written could be easily defended. In fact, let me counter all of their arguments right now.
'WE said': Dissecting a misinformed 'He Said' column
The Oct. 18 "He Said" piece "Oh, the Battle of the Sexes" prompted lively debate and discussion in classrooms and dorm rooms across campus. (It sure did.)
The First Amendment right to free speech protects such articles, in part, to ensure that such lively debates happen in a democracy. We, too, want to exercise this right and add our two cents. (By all means.)
Humor is a wonderful way to convey a point, get attention and give us all a good laugh. Yet, why is it funny to give girls who wear Uggs "a swift kick in the shins," or, better yet, to throw a brick at the faces of the "little princesses?" (Ask just about every guy on campus.)
Women are further stigmatized by this comment through its connection to "bitch," a term which is too often hurled at women on this campus and in society to make them objects or less than human. (I never used this word. I’m a classy guy.) We wonder if such statements would be funny if they were aimed at a man's sister or mother. (My sisters read my column every week and thought it was hysterical.)
Joking about this kind of physical violence toward women is a small example of a larger problem. It makes light of the fact that one in four women in the United States and across the globe experience physical violence carried out by men they know. (Are we serious?)
The innuendos surrounding alcohol and date rape, the attack of female sexual independence and male sexual dominance are not taken with the humor that was intended.
We, instead, see it as supporting sexually violent acts against women. (You’ve got to be kidding.) Buying Jagerbombs as a means of finding a girl to "round the bases" with for the night lacks both originality and taste. Is this really a laughing matter? (Actually the way you put it is not funny. The way I wrote it was.)
This week we took our "bad asses to the gym" only to find women, not men, making up the majority of people in the exercise classes. (BREAKING NEWS ALERT: More women take exercising classes than men. What a joke.) This reveals something about female attitudes toward body image.
Flippant comments such as, "the gym is open until 11," have the power of giving someone an eating disorder, a problem that is undeniably prevalent on this campus. (Alllllright. If I have the power to cause girls to develop eating disorders then women are a lot more insecure than I thought.) Thinking back, these remarks make us hot with rage, or maybe that's just our Uggs causing our bodies to overheat.
Let's get a few things clear. We, and numerous other young women on this campus, acknowledge that there are men who share these same opinions. (You’re damn right.) But to represent them in such a fashion is inappropriate and, to some degree, portrays our University in a damaging manner to those who do not know us.
Above all, Dan Stanczyk's article epitomizes the flaw in female stereotypes. (Stereotypes exist because they are largely true). It also reinforces women as an inferior race and perpetuates a chilling climate of negativity. We'll be sure to keep this article in mind and discuss it with others as we do a round of shots with our girlfriends at the bar.
Don't worry, we'll buy them ourselves. No need to offer. (Good. I hope your vibrators treat you well.)
Sincerely,
Jennifer A '09; Daria A '09; Rebecca B '10; Jocelyn M. Boryczka, assistant professor of politics, director of peace and justice studies; Megan C '09; Kelley F '09; Connie G '09; Shawn H '10; Michelle H '08; Kristina J '08; Danielle M '09; Danielle M '10; Elizabeth M '09; Marie M '08; Victoria P '10; Corinne P '10; Chelsea R '10; Allison R '08; Julie R '10.
The editor in chief of The Mirror was also in that class, but she left her name off of the Declaration of Discordance because she decided to write a column of her own. Can you say hot button topic?
The editor strikes back:
Walking to class every Thursday, I feel somewhat relieved and proud: The Mirror comes out today. I pick up a copy and stare at the front page, delighted that the staff's hard work and long hours have come to fruition.
Then I notice that many who are browsing through the paper aren't reading the professor profiles, the CD reviews or the latest sports scores; they're reading Dan Stanczyk's "He Said" column.
Some are reciting specific lines and laughing with friends, but others are visibly angry. Whether it be because of the references to women not being athletic or the less-than-subtle sexual allusions, men and women in this community are clearly upset.
I'm here to tell you that these reactions have not gone unnoticed. But I'll also say that hostility, which some students have verbally employed, is not the answer. Write some nasty comments on our Web site, call me an inadequate editor for letting these columns be printed, and I will surely ignore you.
Anyone who knows me knows that I can hold a conversation for hours, especially on topics about which I am passionate - The Mirror is one of them. Want to ask me why this column is printed? The Mirror office is on the lower level of the BCC, and I'm in there constantly. It's easy enough to write a letter to the editor with a faceless byline, but it takes real gall to confront someone in person.
Mondays and Tuesdays are our layout and editing nights; stop by and talk to the staff. It's unfortunate that not one person has done that thus far.
"He Said/She Said" appears in Coffee Break where it is intended to entertain. It does not represent the general opinion of our newspaper, which is why the byline reads "Dan Stanczyk" instead of "The Mirror." Unlike news stories, He Said is not a specimen of in-depth research and reporting. But for your reading pleasure, I've done some research of my own.
In the Dec. 2, 2004 Mirror, He Said cites an "influx of hate mail regarding He Said's alleged 'objectification of women.'" The same He Said wrote such lines as, "Possible things that could improve [dates] are threesomes, joining a swingers club, handcuffs, whipped cream, placing a video camera in the bedroom, and/or exhibitionism" in the Nov. 11, 2004 edition. The issue of objectifying women, while very important and in need of change, is nothing new.
Do I always agree with Stanczyk's repartee? No. There are plenty of intelligent, athletic women at this University. And truth be told, if Stanczyk wanted to silence any woman with a muzzle, it'd be me; I'm not afraid to speak my mind.
But just because I don't agree with his points does not mean that I should single-handedly prevent it from being printed, nor does it mean that students should stop reading the newspaper as many have threatened. Doing so blatantly ignores the efforts your peers put into producing this publication, including my own.
I acknowledge that recent "He Said" columns can be considered offensive to women, and I don't advocate such writing. However, my instinct as a journalist tells me that censorship is not to be taken lightly. If every editor removed controversial content, newspapers wouldn't exist.
Speaking to the critics: In all of your ranting, did you ever stop to consider who I am? I'm a senior in college who is learning the ropes of journalism, not a Pulitzer Prize winner. I've been editor in chief of The Mirror for approximately 10 weeks, not 10 years. When I'm not at The Mirror, I'm hanging out at the beach and enjoying my last year at Fairfield. It is ridiculous to assume that I am the authority on journalistic integrity, but I'm working hard to get there.
Care to chat? My office is almost always open. If not, leave a message.
Now like I said, I had heard that this “We Said” article was on the horizon. Plenty of people were sure to give me the heads up that it would be printed right underneath my column. Knowing this, I decided that it would be in my best interest to write a column that didn’t objectify women. It would just look bad if I validated their assertions on the same page. Therefore I came up with the idea to write about bout the bonding experience that an entire floor experiences when sharing a bathroom. Jackie wasn’t too wild about the topic, but I sold her on it by explaining how interesting it was that most of our closest friends were people we met on our floor freshmen year.
The Mirror on November 7th, 2007
Dorm bathrooms
Sharing a bathroom with twenty guys is a bonding experience like none other. The tiled floor is like its own military zone that is both protected and destroyed on a regular basis. Trust me when I tell you that you did not want to mess with the Jogues second floor battalion of the class of 2008.
Of course many different types of weaponry were routinely used.
The most common of which, bombs, were dropped at an alarming frequency. Sometimes a soldier would drop upwards of six in one day. This kind of valor was worthy of the medal of honor.
Another popular weapon in the arsenal was vomit laced with shrapnel. Of course these bombs didn’t always reach their targets, but when they fell short they served as land mines.
The unbearable smell that resulted led to the distance between the showers and the stalls serving as something of a No Man’s Land. The combination of stink bombs and vomit was bad enough, but when you added someone’s cologne it was like tear gas had been unleashed.
Even during peace time (when no bombs were being dropped) the bathroom served as a nuclear testing site with all of the wads of toilet paper that were stuck to the ceiling.
Thankfully this type of ammunition was replaced on a regular basis by the maintenance man who also cleared the battlefield daily. I still wonder what was going through his head the day he walked in and a shower door and a sink lay dead on the floor.
I wouldn’t call it friendly fire, but when someone interrupted you at the urinal a little gun trouble occasionally ensued. This was a troubling experience, but as long as your gun could fire later in the evening everything was alright. That is of course if you hadn’t used all your ammo earlier in the day.
I’ll never forget the time someone had a prisoner of war, a girl, with them in the shower. Seemingly everyone on the floor randomly went to observe the enemy combatant. More people knew about that than the time Japanese fighting fish tangoed in the sink.
With girls living on the other side of the floor, a stray boyfriend would randomly invade our home base. This guerilla warfare was not easy to keep track of, but unfortunately for these phantom shitters they did not have a trap door to escape down.
Just like any other war, if you made it out alive you had stories to tell for the rest of your life.
1 West Side Story (1961) anyone?↩
As always, your thoughts, comments, criticisms, etc. are encouraged. Also, because the majority of the words in this chapter are not my own I may unveil Chapter 10 later this month.
Chapter 9
Only hours after my column about how girls and sports don’t mix was published I received a vicious Facebook message from a perturbed “sports fan”. She started her message by saying, “In regards to your latest pile of bullshit in The Mirror, I would like to say that you are a disgrace to boys everywhere.” She followed up that diatribe with an attempt to validate her sports knowledge and then to top things off she formed a Facebook group titled “He Said Sh*t”.
As angered females across campus joined this group in slow increments, my supporters rose to the occasion and responded with a Facebook group of their own. A kid that I didn’t even know formed a group titled, “He Said is Why We Read The Mirror.” Battle lines had been drawn. It was a downright snap off between the Sharks and the Jets1.
The female insurgency was clearly outnumbered, but a few outspoken young ladies voiced their outrage the following week with letters to the editor:
To the editor:
Upon reading the "He Said" column this week, I was insulted. It's one thing to make light of the other sex; it's quite another to claim that "the only place for a woman on a field is the sidelines," or that women "catch STDs better than they do footballs."
Dan Stanczyk's article is not only a slap in the face to female athletes and sports enthusiasts but an insult to all women. "He Said" isn't the least bit humorous - it's degrading. Perhaps the editor doesn't realize this, but the "He Said" column - and every other article printed - reflects The Mirror in its entirety.
As such, until something is done about Stanczyk, this is one reader that The Mirror will be losing.
Sincerely,
Jennifer B '10
To the editor:
I'm writing to complain about the "He Said" column of this week's Mirror. I want to know how something like that got by the editor. I'm a tour guide and every week I encourage people to pick up a copy so that they can see just how great Fairfield students are. This week, I will not be advising them to pick up a copy. In fact, if they do I will tell them to put it down as it's not an accurate representation of our university.
I don't understand how lines like "you catch STDs better than you do footballs" were deemed worthy of page space. I've always thought of The Mirror as a great accomplishment of this University, created by students who are passionate about journalism.
This week, I was proven wrong. I've always looked forward to the "He Said/She Said" before, but this year I've been stereotyped, insulted and told that my opinion doesn't matter. It's disrespectful, and it's not entertainment. I'd like an apology and I'm not the only one that deserves one.
Sincerely,
Jennifer L '10
Were these girls right? Maybe, but I held steadfast to my belief that my sole purpose was to entertain the male undergrads. The outrage was such that The Mirror staff (advised by two journalism professors) deemed the “controversy” as a newsworthy campus issue. They assigned a frail, shaggy haired, hacky sack playing sophomore to cover the situation as a news story. I gladly sat down for an interview with this clown to tell my side of the story, but I can’t say that he was my best spokesman.
'He Said': A column of conflict
Women hate it. Class discussions have been devoted to it. It is the bane of one tour guide's existence. It is the column, "He Said."
"This time he's gone too far" is what one Facebook group had to say about the feature writer, Dan Stanczyk '08.
"He Said," which is traditionally a sharp, humorous criticism about a college-themed topic, is printed every week in the Coffee Break section of The Mirror.
Ordinarily, this sort of 'college' column is a magnet for trouble. In fact, just over a month ago, Paige Usyk, a columnist for the University of Florida's Independent Florida Alligator, had to write a piece in her own defense over a prior column about the act of hooking up.
But Stanczyk hasn't spawned disdain for writing with graphic sexual detail. Instead, his critics' main contention is that he is a bigot toward women at Fairfield. Opponents of "He Said" often reference lines such as "You [women] catch STD's better than footballs," and "Girls, if any of you wear Uggs this year, you are going to get a swift kick in the shins."
Some students, such as Brenton Roman '10, argue that Stanczyk would be in much more trouble if he were writing about any another group, be it racial or religious. "He's lucky he hasn't had his ass beat," said Roman.
Mirror Editor in Chief Stephanie Lauto '08 has so far refused calls to eliminate the column. She instead cited it as an example of free speech. "He [Stanczyk] has the right to say what he wants to say. He's protected by the First Amendment in that aspect," she said. "It's not libelous and can, therefore, legally be printed."
Lauto, who is a classmate of Stanczyk's, insisted that he does not have ill intentions. "I know from my personal experience that he's trying to provide readers with stereotypes, and he wants that backlash to see the general commentary of students on campus," she said.
An Introduction to Feminist Thought class wrote a letter to the editor. The project, entitled "We Said," argued that Stanczyk "perpetuates a chilling climate of negativity" toward women.
But Stanczyk disagrees. "I think that everyone just needs to relax a little bit and learn how to take a joke," he said. "Everything that I write isn't exactly how I feel about the situation. I'm not a male chauvinistic a**hole all the time. Every guy has that side to them, and I'm writing to guys."
In a separate interview, FUSA President Hutch Williams '08 seemed to agree with Stanczyk on that note. "The Dan that I talk to and enjoy is not the same Dan that's in 'He Said,'" said Williams. "I never hear Dan verbally saying what he writes in his column."
According to Stanczyk, he has nothing to hide. Addressing the authors of "We Said," Stanczyk said: "Why not just invite me to [speak with] the class? I'm more than willing to do that."
But individual students have been upset by the column as well. Jenn Lawlor '10, creator of the Facebook group, "He Said Sh*t," explained that she's normally open-minded about the column. "Usually, I find it humorous and entertaining, but lately, not so much," she said, adding that she enjoyed the "He Said" column that poked fun at stereotypical costumes that men wear.
Stanczyk was quick to react to Lawlor's position. "The Halloween piece made fun of guys, of course she'd think it was funny," he said.
Stanczyk expressed disagreement with feminists' arguments. "They take what I write and make bad conclusions from it," he said.
However, "He Said" is not without a fan base. The Facebook group, "He Said is Why We Read The Mirror," currently has more members than its counterpart. The group's creator, Chris Gardner '10, declined an interview for fear of being misinterpreted.
Fairfield administrators have long complained about "He Said/ She said," saying it degrades the school's image, whether read on campus or online. The Mirror has a print circulation of 4,000 and even more than that online.
As referenced in that article a “Feminist Thought” class (you couldn’t pay me enough money to take that class) spent an entire week analyzing my columns and crafting a reply. I had heard rumblings that this was going on and I was honestly intrigued about what they would say. In my mind everything that I had written could be easily defended. In fact, let me counter all of their arguments right now.
'WE said': Dissecting a misinformed 'He Said' column
The Oct. 18 "He Said" piece "Oh, the Battle of the Sexes" prompted lively debate and discussion in classrooms and dorm rooms across campus. (It sure did.)
The First Amendment right to free speech protects such articles, in part, to ensure that such lively debates happen in a democracy. We, too, want to exercise this right and add our two cents. (By all means.)
Humor is a wonderful way to convey a point, get attention and give us all a good laugh. Yet, why is it funny to give girls who wear Uggs "a swift kick in the shins," or, better yet, to throw a brick at the faces of the "little princesses?" (Ask just about every guy on campus.)
Women are further stigmatized by this comment through its connection to "bitch," a term which is too often hurled at women on this campus and in society to make them objects or less than human. (I never used this word. I’m a classy guy.) We wonder if such statements would be funny if they were aimed at a man's sister or mother. (My sisters read my column every week and thought it was hysterical.)
Joking about this kind of physical violence toward women is a small example of a larger problem. It makes light of the fact that one in four women in the United States and across the globe experience physical violence carried out by men they know. (Are we serious?)
The innuendos surrounding alcohol and date rape, the attack of female sexual independence and male sexual dominance are not taken with the humor that was intended.
We, instead, see it as supporting sexually violent acts against women. (You’ve got to be kidding.) Buying Jagerbombs as a means of finding a girl to "round the bases" with for the night lacks both originality and taste. Is this really a laughing matter? (Actually the way you put it is not funny. The way I wrote it was.)
This week we took our "bad asses to the gym" only to find women, not men, making up the majority of people in the exercise classes. (BREAKING NEWS ALERT: More women take exercising classes than men. What a joke.) This reveals something about female attitudes toward body image.
Flippant comments such as, "the gym is open until 11," have the power of giving someone an eating disorder, a problem that is undeniably prevalent on this campus. (Alllllright. If I have the power to cause girls to develop eating disorders then women are a lot more insecure than I thought.) Thinking back, these remarks make us hot with rage, or maybe that's just our Uggs causing our bodies to overheat.
Let's get a few things clear. We, and numerous other young women on this campus, acknowledge that there are men who share these same opinions. (You’re damn right.) But to represent them in such a fashion is inappropriate and, to some degree, portrays our University in a damaging manner to those who do not know us.
Above all, Dan Stanczyk's article epitomizes the flaw in female stereotypes. (Stereotypes exist because they are largely true). It also reinforces women as an inferior race and perpetuates a chilling climate of negativity. We'll be sure to keep this article in mind and discuss it with others as we do a round of shots with our girlfriends at the bar.
Don't worry, we'll buy them ourselves. No need to offer. (Good. I hope your vibrators treat you well.)
Sincerely,
Jennifer A '09; Daria A '09; Rebecca B '10; Jocelyn M. Boryczka, assistant professor of politics, director of peace and justice studies; Megan C '09; Kelley F '09; Connie G '09; Shawn H '10; Michelle H '08; Kristina J '08; Danielle M '09; Danielle M '10; Elizabeth M '09; Marie M '08; Victoria P '10; Corinne P '10; Chelsea R '10; Allison R '08; Julie R '10.
The editor in chief of The Mirror was also in that class, but she left her name off of the Declaration of Discordance because she decided to write a column of her own. Can you say hot button topic?
The editor strikes back:
Walking to class every Thursday, I feel somewhat relieved and proud: The Mirror comes out today. I pick up a copy and stare at the front page, delighted that the staff's hard work and long hours have come to fruition.
Then I notice that many who are browsing through the paper aren't reading the professor profiles, the CD reviews or the latest sports scores; they're reading Dan Stanczyk's "He Said" column.
Some are reciting specific lines and laughing with friends, but others are visibly angry. Whether it be because of the references to women not being athletic or the less-than-subtle sexual allusions, men and women in this community are clearly upset.
I'm here to tell you that these reactions have not gone unnoticed. But I'll also say that hostility, which some students have verbally employed, is not the answer. Write some nasty comments on our Web site, call me an inadequate editor for letting these columns be printed, and I will surely ignore you.
Anyone who knows me knows that I can hold a conversation for hours, especially on topics about which I am passionate - The Mirror is one of them. Want to ask me why this column is printed? The Mirror office is on the lower level of the BCC, and I'm in there constantly. It's easy enough to write a letter to the editor with a faceless byline, but it takes real gall to confront someone in person.
Mondays and Tuesdays are our layout and editing nights; stop by and talk to the staff. It's unfortunate that not one person has done that thus far.
"He Said/She Said" appears in Coffee Break where it is intended to entertain. It does not represent the general opinion of our newspaper, which is why the byline reads "Dan Stanczyk" instead of "The Mirror." Unlike news stories, He Said is not a specimen of in-depth research and reporting. But for your reading pleasure, I've done some research of my own.
In the Dec. 2, 2004 Mirror, He Said cites an "influx of hate mail regarding He Said's alleged 'objectification of women.'" The same He Said wrote such lines as, "Possible things that could improve [dates] are threesomes, joining a swingers club, handcuffs, whipped cream, placing a video camera in the bedroom, and/or exhibitionism" in the Nov. 11, 2004 edition. The issue of objectifying women, while very important and in need of change, is nothing new.
Do I always agree with Stanczyk's repartee? No. There are plenty of intelligent, athletic women at this University. And truth be told, if Stanczyk wanted to silence any woman with a muzzle, it'd be me; I'm not afraid to speak my mind.
But just because I don't agree with his points does not mean that I should single-handedly prevent it from being printed, nor does it mean that students should stop reading the newspaper as many have threatened. Doing so blatantly ignores the efforts your peers put into producing this publication, including my own.
I acknowledge that recent "He Said" columns can be considered offensive to women, and I don't advocate such writing. However, my instinct as a journalist tells me that censorship is not to be taken lightly. If every editor removed controversial content, newspapers wouldn't exist.
Speaking to the critics: In all of your ranting, did you ever stop to consider who I am? I'm a senior in college who is learning the ropes of journalism, not a Pulitzer Prize winner. I've been editor in chief of The Mirror for approximately 10 weeks, not 10 years. When I'm not at The Mirror, I'm hanging out at the beach and enjoying my last year at Fairfield. It is ridiculous to assume that I am the authority on journalistic integrity, but I'm working hard to get there.
Care to chat? My office is almost always open. If not, leave a message.
Now like I said, I had heard that this “We Said” article was on the horizon. Plenty of people were sure to give me the heads up that it would be printed right underneath my column. Knowing this, I decided that it would be in my best interest to write a column that didn’t objectify women. It would just look bad if I validated their assertions on the same page. Therefore I came up with the idea to write about bout the bonding experience that an entire floor experiences when sharing a bathroom. Jackie wasn’t too wild about the topic, but I sold her on it by explaining how interesting it was that most of our closest friends were people we met on our floor freshmen year.
The Mirror on November 7th, 2007
Dorm bathrooms
Sharing a bathroom with twenty guys is a bonding experience like none other. The tiled floor is like its own military zone that is both protected and destroyed on a regular basis. Trust me when I tell you that you did not want to mess with the Jogues second floor battalion of the class of 2008.
Of course many different types of weaponry were routinely used.
The most common of which, bombs, were dropped at an alarming frequency. Sometimes a soldier would drop upwards of six in one day. This kind of valor was worthy of the medal of honor.
Another popular weapon in the arsenal was vomit laced with shrapnel. Of course these bombs didn’t always reach their targets, but when they fell short they served as land mines.
The unbearable smell that resulted led to the distance between the showers and the stalls serving as something of a No Man’s Land. The combination of stink bombs and vomit was bad enough, but when you added someone’s cologne it was like tear gas had been unleashed.
Even during peace time (when no bombs were being dropped) the bathroom served as a nuclear testing site with all of the wads of toilet paper that were stuck to the ceiling.
Thankfully this type of ammunition was replaced on a regular basis by the maintenance man who also cleared the battlefield daily. I still wonder what was going through his head the day he walked in and a shower door and a sink lay dead on the floor.
I wouldn’t call it friendly fire, but when someone interrupted you at the urinal a little gun trouble occasionally ensued. This was a troubling experience, but as long as your gun could fire later in the evening everything was alright. That is of course if you hadn’t used all your ammo earlier in the day.
I’ll never forget the time someone had a prisoner of war, a girl, with them in the shower. Seemingly everyone on the floor randomly went to observe the enemy combatant. More people knew about that than the time Japanese fighting fish tangoed in the sink.
With girls living on the other side of the floor, a stray boyfriend would randomly invade our home base. This guerilla warfare was not easy to keep track of, but unfortunately for these phantom shitters they did not have a trap door to escape down.
Just like any other war, if you made it out alive you had stories to tell for the rest of your life.
1 West Side Story (1961) anyone?↩
As always, your thoughts, comments, criticisms, etc. are encouraged. Also, because the majority of the words in this chapter are not my own I may unveil Chapter 10 later this month.
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