Here's your monthly installment of my memoir. If you don't know what the hell this is, just click here, scroll to the bottom, and catch up.
Chapter 9
Only hours after my column about how girls and sports don’t mix was published I received a vicious Facebook message from a perturbed “sports fan”. She started her message by saying, “In regards to your latest pile of bullshit in The Mirror, I would like to say that you are a disgrace to boys everywhere.” She followed up that diatribe with an attempt to validate her sports knowledge and then to top things off she formed a Facebook group titled “He Said Sh*t”.
As angered females across campus joined this group in slow increments, my supporters rose to the occasion and responded with a Facebook group of their own. A kid that I didn’t even know formed a group titled, “He Said is Why We Read The Mirror.” Battle lines had been drawn. It was a downright snap off between the Sharks and the Jets1.
The female insurgency was clearly outnumbered, but a few outspoken young ladies voiced their outrage the following week with letters to the editor:
To the editor:
Upon reading the "He Said" column this week, I was insulted. It's one thing to make light of the other sex; it's quite another to claim that "the only place for a woman on a field is the sidelines," or that women "catch STDs better than they do footballs."
Dan Stanczyk's article is not only a slap in the face to female athletes and sports enthusiasts but an insult to all women. "He Said" isn't the least bit humorous - it's degrading. Perhaps the editor doesn't realize this, but the "He Said" column - and every other article printed - reflects The Mirror in its entirety.
As such, until something is done about Stanczyk, this is one reader that The Mirror will be losing.
Sincerely,
Jennifer B '10
To the editor:
I'm writing to complain about the "He Said" column of this week's Mirror. I want to know how something like that got by the editor. I'm a tour guide and every week I encourage people to pick up a copy so that they can see just how great Fairfield students are. This week, I will not be advising them to pick up a copy. In fact, if they do I will tell them to put it down as it's not an accurate representation of our university.
I don't understand how lines like "you catch STDs better than you do footballs" were deemed worthy of page space. I've always thought of The Mirror as a great accomplishment of this University, created by students who are passionate about journalism.
This week, I was proven wrong. I've always looked forward to the "He Said/She Said" before, but this year I've been stereotyped, insulted and told that my opinion doesn't matter. It's disrespectful, and it's not entertainment. I'd like an apology and I'm not the only one that deserves one.
Sincerely,
Jennifer L '10
Were these girls right? Maybe, but I held steadfast to my belief that my sole purpose was to entertain the male undergrads. The outrage was such that The Mirror staff (advised by two journalism professors) deemed the “controversy” as a newsworthy campus issue. They assigned a frail, shaggy haired, hacky sack playing sophomore to cover the situation as a news story. I gladly sat down for an interview with this clown to tell my side of the story, but I can’t say that he was my best spokesman.
'He Said': A column of conflict
Women hate it. Class discussions have been devoted to it. It is the bane of one tour guide's existence. It is the column, "He Said."
"This time he's gone too far" is what one Facebook group had to say about the feature writer, Dan Stanczyk '08.
"He Said," which is traditionally a sharp, humorous criticism about a college-themed topic, is printed every week in the Coffee Break section of The Mirror.
Ordinarily, this sort of 'college' column is a magnet for trouble. In fact, just over a month ago, Paige Usyk, a columnist for the University of Florida's Independent Florida Alligator, had to write a piece in her own defense over a prior column about the act of hooking up.
But Stanczyk hasn't spawned disdain for writing with graphic sexual detail. Instead, his critics' main contention is that he is a bigot toward women at Fairfield. Opponents of "He Said" often reference lines such as "You [women] catch STD's better than footballs," and "Girls, if any of you wear Uggs this year, you are going to get a swift kick in the shins."
Some students, such as Brenton Roman '10, argue that Stanczyk would be in much more trouble if he were writing about any another group, be it racial or religious. "He's lucky he hasn't had his ass beat," said Roman.
Mirror Editor in Chief Stephanie Lauto '08 has so far refused calls to eliminate the column. She instead cited it as an example of free speech. "He [Stanczyk] has the right to say what he wants to say. He's protected by the First Amendment in that aspect," she said. "It's not libelous and can, therefore, legally be printed."
Lauto, who is a classmate of Stanczyk's, insisted that he does not have ill intentions. "I know from my personal experience that he's trying to provide readers with stereotypes, and he wants that backlash to see the general commentary of students on campus," she said.
An Introduction to Feminist Thought class wrote a letter to the editor. The project, entitled "We Said," argued that Stanczyk "perpetuates a chilling climate of negativity" toward women.
But Stanczyk disagrees. "I think that everyone just needs to relax a little bit and learn how to take a joke," he said. "Everything that I write isn't exactly how I feel about the situation. I'm not a male chauvinistic a**hole all the time. Every guy has that side to them, and I'm writing to guys."
In a separate interview, FUSA President Hutch Williams '08 seemed to agree with Stanczyk on that note. "The Dan that I talk to and enjoy is not the same Dan that's in 'He Said,'" said Williams. "I never hear Dan verbally saying what he writes in his column."
According to Stanczyk, he has nothing to hide. Addressing the authors of "We Said," Stanczyk said: "Why not just invite me to [speak with] the class? I'm more than willing to do that."
But individual students have been upset by the column as well. Jenn Lawlor '10, creator of the Facebook group, "He Said Sh*t," explained that she's normally open-minded about the column. "Usually, I find it humorous and entertaining, but lately, not so much," she said, adding that she enjoyed the "He Said" column that poked fun at stereotypical costumes that men wear.
Stanczyk was quick to react to Lawlor's position. "The Halloween piece made fun of guys, of course she'd think it was funny," he said.
Stanczyk expressed disagreement with feminists' arguments. "They take what I write and make bad conclusions from it," he said.
However, "He Said" is not without a fan base. The Facebook group, "He Said is Why We Read The Mirror," currently has more members than its counterpart. The group's creator, Chris Gardner '10, declined an interview for fear of being misinterpreted.
Fairfield administrators have long complained about "He Said/ She said," saying it degrades the school's image, whether read on campus or online. The Mirror has a print circulation of 4,000 and even more than that online.
As referenced in that article a “Feminist Thought” class (you couldn’t pay me enough money to take that class) spent an entire week analyzing my columns and crafting a reply. I had heard rumblings that this was going on and I was honestly intrigued about what they would say. In my mind everything that I had written could be easily defended. In fact, let me counter all of their arguments right now.
'WE said': Dissecting a misinformed 'He Said' column
The Oct. 18 "He Said" piece "Oh, the Battle of the Sexes" prompted lively debate and discussion in classrooms and dorm rooms across campus. (It sure did.)
The First Amendment right to free speech protects such articles, in part, to ensure that such lively debates happen in a democracy. We, too, want to exercise this right and add our two cents. (By all means.)
Humor is a wonderful way to convey a point, get attention and give us all a good laugh. Yet, why is it funny to give girls who wear Uggs "a swift kick in the shins," or, better yet, to throw a brick at the faces of the "little princesses?" (Ask just about every guy on campus.)
Women are further stigmatized by this comment through its connection to "bitch," a term which is too often hurled at women on this campus and in society to make them objects or less than human. (I never used this word. I’m a classy guy.) We wonder if such statements would be funny if they were aimed at a man's sister or mother. (My sisters read my column every week and thought it was hysterical.)
Joking about this kind of physical violence toward women is a small example of a larger problem. It makes light of the fact that one in four women in the United States and across the globe experience physical violence carried out by men they know. (Are we serious?)
The innuendos surrounding alcohol and date rape, the attack of female sexual independence and male sexual dominance are not taken with the humor that was intended.
We, instead, see it as supporting sexually violent acts against women. (You’ve got to be kidding.) Buying Jagerbombs as a means of finding a girl to "round the bases" with for the night lacks both originality and taste. Is this really a laughing matter? (Actually the way you put it is not funny. The way I wrote it was.)
This week we took our "bad asses to the gym" only to find women, not men, making up the majority of people in the exercise classes. (BREAKING NEWS ALERT: More women take exercising classes than men. What a joke.) This reveals something about female attitudes toward body image.
Flippant comments such as, "the gym is open until 11," have the power of giving someone an eating disorder, a problem that is undeniably prevalent on this campus. (Alllllright. If I have the power to cause girls to develop eating disorders then women are a lot more insecure than I thought.) Thinking back, these remarks make us hot with rage, or maybe that's just our Uggs causing our bodies to overheat.
Let's get a few things clear. We, and numerous other young women on this campus, acknowledge that there are men who share these same opinions. (You’re damn right.) But to represent them in such a fashion is inappropriate and, to some degree, portrays our University in a damaging manner to those who do not know us.
Above all, Dan Stanczyk's article epitomizes the flaw in female stereotypes. (Stereotypes exist because they are largely true). It also reinforces women as an inferior race and perpetuates a chilling climate of negativity. We'll be sure to keep this article in mind and discuss it with others as we do a round of shots with our girlfriends at the bar.
Don't worry, we'll buy them ourselves. No need to offer. (Good. I hope your vibrators treat you well.)
Sincerely,
Jennifer A '09; Daria A '09; Rebecca B '10; Jocelyn M. Boryczka, assistant professor of politics, director of peace and justice studies; Megan C '09; Kelley F '09; Connie G '09; Shawn H '10; Michelle H '08; Kristina J '08; Danielle M '09; Danielle M '10; Elizabeth M '09; Marie M '08; Victoria P '10; Corinne P '10; Chelsea R '10; Allison R '08; Julie R '10.
The editor in chief of The Mirror was also in that class, but she left her name off of the Declaration of Discordance because she decided to write a column of her own. Can you say hot button topic?
The editor strikes back:
Walking to class every Thursday, I feel somewhat relieved and proud: The Mirror comes out today. I pick up a copy and stare at the front page, delighted that the staff's hard work and long hours have come to fruition.
Then I notice that many who are browsing through the paper aren't reading the professor profiles, the CD reviews or the latest sports scores; they're reading Dan Stanczyk's "He Said" column.
Some are reciting specific lines and laughing with friends, but others are visibly angry. Whether it be because of the references to women not being athletic or the less-than-subtle sexual allusions, men and women in this community are clearly upset.
I'm here to tell you that these reactions have not gone unnoticed. But I'll also say that hostility, which some students have verbally employed, is not the answer. Write some nasty comments on our Web site, call me an inadequate editor for letting these columns be printed, and I will surely ignore you.
Anyone who knows me knows that I can hold a conversation for hours, especially on topics about which I am passionate - The Mirror is one of them. Want to ask me why this column is printed? The Mirror office is on the lower level of the BCC, and I'm in there constantly. It's easy enough to write a letter to the editor with a faceless byline, but it takes real gall to confront someone in person.
Mondays and Tuesdays are our layout and editing nights; stop by and talk to the staff. It's unfortunate that not one person has done that thus far.
"He Said/She Said" appears in Coffee Break where it is intended to entertain. It does not represent the general opinion of our newspaper, which is why the byline reads "Dan Stanczyk" instead of "The Mirror." Unlike news stories, He Said is not a specimen of in-depth research and reporting. But for your reading pleasure, I've done some research of my own.
In the Dec. 2, 2004 Mirror, He Said cites an "influx of hate mail regarding He Said's alleged 'objectification of women.'" The same He Said wrote such lines as, "Possible things that could improve [dates] are threesomes, joining a swingers club, handcuffs, whipped cream, placing a video camera in the bedroom, and/or exhibitionism" in the Nov. 11, 2004 edition. The issue of objectifying women, while very important and in need of change, is nothing new.
Do I always agree with Stanczyk's repartee? No. There are plenty of intelligent, athletic women at this University. And truth be told, if Stanczyk wanted to silence any woman with a muzzle, it'd be me; I'm not afraid to speak my mind.
But just because I don't agree with his points does not mean that I should single-handedly prevent it from being printed, nor does it mean that students should stop reading the newspaper as many have threatened. Doing so blatantly ignores the efforts your peers put into producing this publication, including my own.
I acknowledge that recent "He Said" columns can be considered offensive to women, and I don't advocate such writing. However, my instinct as a journalist tells me that censorship is not to be taken lightly. If every editor removed controversial content, newspapers wouldn't exist.
Speaking to the critics: In all of your ranting, did you ever stop to consider who I am? I'm a senior in college who is learning the ropes of journalism, not a Pulitzer Prize winner. I've been editor in chief of The Mirror for approximately 10 weeks, not 10 years. When I'm not at The Mirror, I'm hanging out at the beach and enjoying my last year at Fairfield. It is ridiculous to assume that I am the authority on journalistic integrity, but I'm working hard to get there.
Care to chat? My office is almost always open. If not, leave a message.
Now like I said, I had heard that this “We Said” article was on the horizon. Plenty of people were sure to give me the heads up that it would be printed right underneath my column. Knowing this, I decided that it would be in my best interest to write a column that didn’t objectify women. It would just look bad if I validated their assertions on the same page. Therefore I came up with the idea to write about bout the bonding experience that an entire floor experiences when sharing a bathroom. Jackie wasn’t too wild about the topic, but I sold her on it by explaining how interesting it was that most of our closest friends were people we met on our floor freshmen year.
The Mirror on November 7th, 2007
Dorm bathrooms
Sharing a bathroom with twenty guys is a bonding experience like none other. The tiled floor is like its own military zone that is both protected and destroyed on a regular basis. Trust me when I tell you that you did not want to mess with the Jogues second floor battalion of the class of 2008.
Of course many different types of weaponry were routinely used.
The most common of which, bombs, were dropped at an alarming frequency. Sometimes a soldier would drop upwards of six in one day. This kind of valor was worthy of the medal of honor.
Another popular weapon in the arsenal was vomit laced with shrapnel. Of course these bombs didn’t always reach their targets, but when they fell short they served as land mines.
The unbearable smell that resulted led to the distance between the showers and the stalls serving as something of a No Man’s Land. The combination of stink bombs and vomit was bad enough, but when you added someone’s cologne it was like tear gas had been unleashed.
Even during peace time (when no bombs were being dropped) the bathroom served as a nuclear testing site with all of the wads of toilet paper that were stuck to the ceiling.
Thankfully this type of ammunition was replaced on a regular basis by the maintenance man who also cleared the battlefield daily. I still wonder what was going through his head the day he walked in and a shower door and a sink lay dead on the floor.
I wouldn’t call it friendly fire, but when someone interrupted you at the urinal a little gun trouble occasionally ensued. This was a troubling experience, but as long as your gun could fire later in the evening everything was alright. That is of course if you hadn’t used all your ammo earlier in the day.
I’ll never forget the time someone had a prisoner of war, a girl, with them in the shower. Seemingly everyone on the floor randomly went to observe the enemy combatant. More people knew about that than the time Japanese fighting fish tangoed in the sink.
With girls living on the other side of the floor, a stray boyfriend would randomly invade our home base. This guerilla warfare was not easy to keep track of, but unfortunately for these phantom shitters they did not have a trap door to escape down.
Just like any other war, if you made it out alive you had stories to tell for the rest of your life.
1 West Side Story (1961) anyone?↩
As always, your thoughts, comments, criticisms, etc. are encouraged. Also, because the majority of the words in this chapter are not my own I may unveil Chapter 10 later this month.
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