Even though the media and all of these so-called critics bag on him for being a terrible actor, I'll be honest with you, I'm a Ben Affleck fan.
Here are the three reasons that I am a fan
1.) He's a hunk
Sure he's suffered through some tough times, but in true college dude form he essentially puked and rallied his way through it. After splitting with that lucious Latina, Affleck was brilliant in choosing his next fiance (this one would actually go on to marry him and bear his child) in that he was able to successfully dodge any sort of media scrutiny (which of course was the downfall of his relationship with J Lo) by employing the old Double Jeopardy tactic. As you all should know, the paparazzi had dubbed he and Jennifer Lopez 'Bennifer'. By hooking up with another Hollywood Celebrity named Jennifer (Garner), Affleck assured himself much less media coverage because (to finish the metaphor) he had already been convicted of that crime. I'm sure it also helped that Garner is one of those lovable women that has the "it" factor. The unexplainable girl next door/something about her/marriage material quality.
2.) He has a little bit of talent
Despite all the media criticism (everyone knows Matt Damon is the better actor, Ben's over it), Affleck has still managed to have a very good Hollywood career. Obviously we all know who Ben is because of the 1997 classic Good Will Hunting that he and Damon co-wrote and starred in. Affleck actually has the best line of the entire movie (starts at the 2:15 mark), although some would argue that this line is better. A few of his other career highlights include playing the badass Fred O'Bannion in Dazed and Confused, showing his romantic side in Armageddon, delivering what I thought was a very good performance in an underrated movie in Paycheck (his next film after the disaster that was Gigli), and who can forget this scene from Boiler Room.
"Ear to ear, baby"
Not to mention that one of my favorite movies Gone Baby Gone was his directorial debut. I swear you could teach an entire Ethics course based solely on that movie. I was sold on it before I even saw it because the book was written by the same guy that wrote Mystic River, Dennis Lehane.
3.) He's funny
Surprisingly, Affleck is has a knack for being hysterical. Just a few weeks ago, Affleck delivered a pretty good impersonation of former Sportscenter anchor and current MSNBC bleeding heart liberal host Keith Olbermann. That clip is a little long, but if you've ever watched a minute of Countdown you will appreciate it. This impersonation is actually more spot on. You might also remember that Affleck teamed up with Jimmy Kimmel in one of the best retorts of all time.
How either one of them was able to keep a straight face, I will never know.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Free Dr. P
Don't forget that tomorrow is that day that you can sign up to get a coupon to redeem a free 20 oz. Dr.Pepper because of the release of the new Guns 'N Roses album Chinese Democracy.
Check out this Dr. P related blurb from Esquire earlier this month.
Now for all of you lazy people out there, here is what is written in that article.
This special formulation of Dr. Pepper is made from imperial cane sugar. And you can only get it within a 44-mile radius of Dublin, Texas. It's hard to espouse tradition without sounding like Wilford Brimley grunting the virtues of oatmeal, but old pop is better than new pop, and that's just facts. In the 1970s and 1980s, when the price of sugar began to rise, most bottlers switched over to high-fructose corn syrup--except the Dr. Pepper bottling plant in Dublin, Texas, the only DP plant never to have used anything but Imperial pure can sugar to sweeten its unique brand of black gold. It's like drinking nature's perfect candy, plus fizz. The hitch is, it's available only within a 44-mile radius of Dublin. While it probably isn't worth the drive to west Texas to taste it--a ranch filled with crazy pussy probably isn't worth the drive to west Texas--if you're passing through Comanche, Desdemona, or Fairy, make sure you stop for a cold bottle of the last best pop in America.
First of all, I think I'm going to go ahead and add imbibing about fifteen of them Dr. Peppers to my lifelong to do list. Secondly, a ranch filled with crazy pussy is definitely worth the drive to west Texas. Hell, my friends and I almost drove 3 plus hours to New Jersey on a whim because none of us had ever been to a Sonic. Not only does their food look great, but I'd even give them my business because of their outstanding advertising.
Let me just clear one thing up. There is no denying that they have great commercials and in that sense their advertising is outstanding, but the fact that these commercials run in areas that are nowhere near their restaurants detracts a little from their overall advertising scheme.
Don't forget to request your free Dr. Pepper.
Check out this Dr. P related blurb from Esquire earlier this month.
Now for all of you lazy people out there, here is what is written in that article.
This special formulation of Dr. Pepper is made from imperial cane sugar. And you can only get it within a 44-mile radius of Dublin, Texas. It's hard to espouse tradition without sounding like Wilford Brimley grunting the virtues of oatmeal, but old pop is better than new pop, and that's just facts. In the 1970s and 1980s, when the price of sugar began to rise, most bottlers switched over to high-fructose corn syrup--except the Dr. Pepper bottling plant in Dublin, Texas, the only DP plant never to have used anything but Imperial pure can sugar to sweeten its unique brand of black gold. It's like drinking nature's perfect candy, plus fizz. The hitch is, it's available only within a 44-mile radius of Dublin. While it probably isn't worth the drive to west Texas to taste it--a ranch filled with crazy pussy probably isn't worth the drive to west Texas--if you're passing through Comanche, Desdemona, or Fairy, make sure you stop for a cold bottle of the last best pop in America.
First of all, I think I'm going to go ahead and add imbibing about fifteen of them Dr. Peppers to my lifelong to do list. Secondly, a ranch filled with crazy pussy is definitely worth the drive to west Texas. Hell, my friends and I almost drove 3 plus hours to New Jersey on a whim because none of us had ever been to a Sonic. Not only does their food look great, but I'd even give them my business because of their outstanding advertising.
Let me just clear one thing up. There is no denying that they have great commercials and in that sense their advertising is outstanding, but the fact that these commercials run in areas that are nowhere near their restaurants detracts a little from their overall advertising scheme.
Don't forget to request your free Dr. Pepper.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Gaydar
Last Friday one of my good friends from college celebrated his 6th year anniversary with his girlfriend and if that doesn't scream cover up, I don't know what does. Seriously? Six years? I don't have a clue as to what any female I spoke with six years ago is currently doing.
Just imagine the changes that you have gone through in the past 2191 days. Think about all the people that you've hooked up with in that span. I'm pretty sure that my friend and his girlfriend have never even fought in all this time. Now of course I've met this girlfriend many times and she's an absolute sweetheart and my friend is one of the nicest kids going to, but it's not humanly possible to not fight with someone for six whole years. This fact got me thinking, and once I thought about it long enough, the evidence began to snowball.
Try this on for size. He's 5'10 and 160 pounds soaking wet. He is extremely neat and organized. He gets along with every female he's ever come in contact with. He dresses like a metro sexual. He's the lead singer of a pop rock band. He revels in getting naked in front of other men. On Spring Break he brought a gay man back to our condo. And he's quick to have (I wish I was kidding) small dick contests with other guys.
Here is the music video for one of his band's songs. Remember that he is the lead singer. (The text in the middle of the screen for the first minute might be the only thing gayer than him)
Now in the video you may have noticed him with this Colombian man, who I suspect was one of his many lovers.
This helps validate one of my many long held beliefs about gay people. Now I'm not sure about the percentages and it probably isn't even close to 50%, but doesn't it seem like there is an extraordinary amount of interracial gay couples? Most of these being between a white male and a Hispanic male. I'm not really sure where this belief is grounded, but here's two examples from the world of popular culture to help my case.
Cedric and Bob
Tom Hanks and Antonio Banderas in Philadelphia (It's a Denzel movie, get off me)
So what do you think? Is he gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Just imagine the changes that you have gone through in the past 2191 days. Think about all the people that you've hooked up with in that span. I'm pretty sure that my friend and his girlfriend have never even fought in all this time. Now of course I've met this girlfriend many times and she's an absolute sweetheart and my friend is one of the nicest kids going to, but it's not humanly possible to not fight with someone for six whole years. This fact got me thinking, and once I thought about it long enough, the evidence began to snowball.
Try this on for size. He's 5'10 and 160 pounds soaking wet. He is extremely neat and organized. He gets along with every female he's ever come in contact with. He dresses like a metro sexual. He's the lead singer of a pop rock band. He revels in getting naked in front of other men. On Spring Break he brought a gay man back to our condo. And he's quick to have (I wish I was kidding) small dick contests with other guys.
Here is the music video for one of his band's songs. Remember that he is the lead singer. (The text in the middle of the screen for the first minute might be the only thing gayer than him)
Now in the video you may have noticed him with this Colombian man, who I suspect was one of his many lovers.
This helps validate one of my many long held beliefs about gay people. Now I'm not sure about the percentages and it probably isn't even close to 50%, but doesn't it seem like there is an extraordinary amount of interracial gay couples? Most of these being between a white male and a Hispanic male. I'm not really sure where this belief is grounded, but here's two examples from the world of popular culture to help my case.
Cedric and Bob
Tom Hanks and Antonio Banderas in Philadelphia (It's a Denzel movie, get off me)
So what do you think? Is he gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Secret Agent Man
This next post was actually written by my friend Frank, who writes movie reviews for The Post Standard and is the co-host of an AM radio show. If you have just one conversation with Frank you would think that he was a 42 year old man because of his receding hair line and knowledge of 1980's television shows. In fact, Frank was going to be a member of my 2009 World Series of Pop Culture team, but VH1 decided against a Season 3. They instead chose to focus on 'I love the 80's- Part Trey'. Without further ado, here is Frank's take on Daniel Craig's portrayal of James Bond.
Why Women Love The NEW James Bond
James Bond has always been a man's ideal of cool, and badassery. Since the days of Sean Connery, Bond has been a character adored by men everywhere. However, since Daniel Craig has taken the Bond helm, the tide is beginning to turn towards James Bond's biggest supporters being females.
In the past, Bond was never much for the ladies because he's chauvinistic, his Bond girls had names like Pussy Galore and Dr. Holly Goodhead (seriously, Dr. Holly Goodhead!), his films are usually filled with explosions and lame plot points that go no where, so much so that Mike Myers made three Austin Powers films making fun of it. However, now for some reason women love the NEW Daniel Craig James Bond.
So, here is a list of the 7 reasons that the NEW James Bond gets the ladies going.
However, lets start the list in proper Bond fashion
1.) He Has Emotions
Consoling a woman in a shower with a suit on is both emotional and bad ass.
The new Bond film is named Quantum of Solace, which breaks down the word Quantum which means "a large quantity; bulk" (plus word plays with the organization QUANTUM that Bond fights in the film), and Solace which means "comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness." So basically, James Bond needs a large amount of comfort. Wait, that can't be right? James Bond needs feelings? Yup, Daniel Craig and the creators of the NEW Bond have created realistic emotions for a character that was always thought to be a one sided cliche (Thank you very much, Christopher Nolan for starting that trend).
Women love the NEW Bond because he's no longer a robotic character but rather a real guy, who feels pain, and can have emotions over the women he loves (and boy does he 'love' a lot of them). The NEW James Bond's biggest problem isn't some bad guy with a laser trying to take over the world, but rather that he has too many emotions.
2.) He's a BAMF
Have you ever beaten someone up in black and white? No? Well that's why you're not badass!
"It'd be a pretty cold bastard who didn't want revenge for the death of someone he loved" - M.
Bond's boss, M, states the exact nature of the NEW James Bond and it's that he's one cold bastard. I mean he's just overflowing with BAD ASS, so much in fact that many of the negative reviews for Quantum of Solace are that this Bond isn't as much 'fun' as he was in the past. I mean Bond is still Bond, and still has the British wit about him, but Craig has turned the guy into a vicious killing machine. I mean just watch the opening of Casino Royale (Craig's first Bond film). Women love it because he's just so damn animalistic. I mean not only does he kill someone before they finish a sentence, but he kills someone else in a bathroom in the dirtiest, grittiest way possible! Somewhere women are licking their chops, while Roger Moore (the Bizarro Daniel Craig Bond) is frightened for his life.
3.) A Woman Runs His Life
Yes, MOTHER!
Okay, I know what you're going to say, "But Judi Dench started playing M in Goldeneye with Pierce Brosnan!" That's true, Judi Dench started playing M, Bond's boss, and runner of MI6 in Goldeneye with Brosnan, but the difference is that Brosnan's Bond was playful with Dench's M. They would bicker between each other, nothing of any substance. However, Craig's Bond and Dench's M argue big time almost to the point of where it's a turn on for women everywhere. Bond doesn't listen to anyone, follows no one's rules but his own, but when it comes to the one person he actually listens to, it's a woman! However, he doesn't just lay down and be a door mat for M (That's what wusses do), but rather he always battles her tooth and nail to where Bond and M reach an agreement. Craig's Bond is so damn attractive to females because not only does he fight for what he wants with women, but ultimately lets them win.
4.) This Picture
This one's for you, every girl I know.
Do I really even have to explain why this one is loved by women? Moving on.
(Also as a guy, let me say, put some damn pants on, Daniel Craig).
5.) How He Wears Suits
Bond suit up!
Everybody knows that a man isn't really a man unless he can wear a nice suit (Just ask another man's man, Barney Stinson). Now, Bond has always looked great in assorted suits, but NEW James Bond just makes suits look so much more awesome. That's quite a feat, considering that he did so wearing a suit for pretty much the whole duration of Casino Royale. New James Bond can wear a suit when fighting in the bathroom, gets blood on his suit, suits with bowties, suits with long ties, black suits, blue suits, bathing suits, the list goes on and on. I'm not saying that Craig is the best to ever wear a Bond suit, that will always go to Sean Connery, but he wears them with the best of them. As Vesper Lynd says in Casino Royale: "There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets; this is the latter. And I need you looking like a man who belongs at that table." In that statement Vesper speaks for the whole female gender when it comes to a man in a good looking suit.
6.) He's Not Interested
Does it look like he gives a damn?
NEW James Bond: "Vodka Martini"
Bartender: "Shaken or stirred?"
NEW James Bond: "Does it look like I give a damn?"
Seriously, does it look like he gives a damn? I mean James Bond used to care about trivial things like how his drinks were made and the women he went after, but no longer (That's not to say, that he doesn't get his drinks the way he wants them or doesn't get the women he goes after. He's still James Bond). NEW James Bond has bigger issues to worry about then if his Bond girl likes him, or if his drink is properly made. With the new realistic emotions brought to NEW James Bond, he doesn't quite have time to worry about things that used to be big concerns. He's not interested in anything other than his duty and job, but that uninterest in anything that isn't his goal is just so damn attractive to females. I mean lets be serious, is there anything more attractive to a female than a guy who isn't interested or just doesn't seem to care? NEW James Bond doesn't really care if you like him or not, he's James Bond, and it's that fact that makes him so irresistible to women everywhere.
7.) He Constantly Looks Beaten To All Hell
Blood, black eyes, and dirty Bond. I think a female just collapsed.
One reaction I got from female after female who went to see Quantum of Solace is that after the film they felt as if they were "used," "sexed up," and "hot and bothered" about it. Jeez, they should have called it Quantum of SEX instead. These females I've spoken with have felt this way because NEW James Bond is always in a constant state of looking like he's been beaten to all hell. He's no longer the pristine Bond that somehow out runs machines guns, fights with guys twice his size, and explosions without breaking a sweat, but rather has his scars fully on display. Chicks dig two things: The Long Ball, and scars. Having Bond run from place to place getting his ass kicked makes him so much cooler and sexy as hell to females across the Nation. Even the way he gets tortured has become so gritty that it's basically erotica for females now.
Why Women Love The NEW James Bond
James Bond has always been a man's ideal of cool, and badassery. Since the days of Sean Connery, Bond has been a character adored by men everywhere. However, since Daniel Craig has taken the Bond helm, the tide is beginning to turn towards James Bond's biggest supporters being females.
In the past, Bond was never much for the ladies because he's chauvinistic, his Bond girls had names like Pussy Galore and Dr. Holly Goodhead (seriously, Dr. Holly Goodhead!), his films are usually filled with explosions and lame plot points that go no where, so much so that Mike Myers made three Austin Powers films making fun of it. However, now for some reason women love the NEW Daniel Craig James Bond.
So, here is a list of the 7 reasons that the NEW James Bond gets the ladies going.
However, lets start the list in proper Bond fashion
1.) He Has Emotions
Consoling a woman in a shower with a suit on is both emotional and bad ass.
The new Bond film is named Quantum of Solace, which breaks down the word Quantum which means "a large quantity; bulk" (plus word plays with the organization QUANTUM that Bond fights in the film), and Solace which means "comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness." So basically, James Bond needs a large amount of comfort. Wait, that can't be right? James Bond needs feelings? Yup, Daniel Craig and the creators of the NEW Bond have created realistic emotions for a character that was always thought to be a one sided cliche (Thank you very much, Christopher Nolan for starting that trend).
Women love the NEW Bond because he's no longer a robotic character but rather a real guy, who feels pain, and can have emotions over the women he loves (and boy does he 'love' a lot of them). The NEW James Bond's biggest problem isn't some bad guy with a laser trying to take over the world, but rather that he has too many emotions.
2.) He's a BAMF
Have you ever beaten someone up in black and white? No? Well that's why you're not badass!
"It'd be a pretty cold bastard who didn't want revenge for the death of someone he loved" - M.
Bond's boss, M, states the exact nature of the NEW James Bond and it's that he's one cold bastard. I mean he's just overflowing with BAD ASS, so much in fact that many of the negative reviews for Quantum of Solace are that this Bond isn't as much 'fun' as he was in the past. I mean Bond is still Bond, and still has the British wit about him, but Craig has turned the guy into a vicious killing machine. I mean just watch the opening of Casino Royale (Craig's first Bond film). Women love it because he's just so damn animalistic. I mean not only does he kill someone before they finish a sentence, but he kills someone else in a bathroom in the dirtiest, grittiest way possible! Somewhere women are licking their chops, while Roger Moore (the Bizarro Daniel Craig Bond) is frightened for his life.
3.) A Woman Runs His Life
Yes, MOTHER!
Okay, I know what you're going to say, "But Judi Dench started playing M in Goldeneye with Pierce Brosnan!" That's true, Judi Dench started playing M, Bond's boss, and runner of MI6 in Goldeneye with Brosnan, but the difference is that Brosnan's Bond was playful with Dench's M. They would bicker between each other, nothing of any substance. However, Craig's Bond and Dench's M argue big time almost to the point of where it's a turn on for women everywhere. Bond doesn't listen to anyone, follows no one's rules but his own, but when it comes to the one person he actually listens to, it's a woman! However, he doesn't just lay down and be a door mat for M (That's what wusses do), but rather he always battles her tooth and nail to where Bond and M reach an agreement. Craig's Bond is so damn attractive to females because not only does he fight for what he wants with women, but ultimately lets them win.
4.) This Picture
This one's for you, every girl I know.
Do I really even have to explain why this one is loved by women? Moving on.
(Also as a guy, let me say, put some damn pants on, Daniel Craig).
5.) How He Wears Suits
Bond suit up!
Everybody knows that a man isn't really a man unless he can wear a nice suit (Just ask another man's man, Barney Stinson). Now, Bond has always looked great in assorted suits, but NEW James Bond just makes suits look so much more awesome. That's quite a feat, considering that he did so wearing a suit for pretty much the whole duration of Casino Royale. New James Bond can wear a suit when fighting in the bathroom, gets blood on his suit, suits with bowties, suits with long ties, black suits, blue suits, bathing suits, the list goes on and on. I'm not saying that Craig is the best to ever wear a Bond suit, that will always go to Sean Connery, but he wears them with the best of them. As Vesper Lynd says in Casino Royale: "There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets; this is the latter. And I need you looking like a man who belongs at that table." In that statement Vesper speaks for the whole female gender when it comes to a man in a good looking suit.
6.) He's Not Interested
Does it look like he gives a damn?
NEW James Bond: "Vodka Martini"
Bartender: "Shaken or stirred?"
NEW James Bond: "Does it look like I give a damn?"
Seriously, does it look like he gives a damn? I mean James Bond used to care about trivial things like how his drinks were made and the women he went after, but no longer (That's not to say, that he doesn't get his drinks the way he wants them or doesn't get the women he goes after. He's still James Bond). NEW James Bond has bigger issues to worry about then if his Bond girl likes him, or if his drink is properly made. With the new realistic emotions brought to NEW James Bond, he doesn't quite have time to worry about things that used to be big concerns. He's not interested in anything other than his duty and job, but that uninterest in anything that isn't his goal is just so damn attractive to females. I mean lets be serious, is there anything more attractive to a female than a guy who isn't interested or just doesn't seem to care? NEW James Bond doesn't really care if you like him or not, he's James Bond, and it's that fact that makes him so irresistible to women everywhere.
7.) He Constantly Looks Beaten To All Hell
Blood, black eyes, and dirty Bond. I think a female just collapsed.
One reaction I got from female after female who went to see Quantum of Solace is that after the film they felt as if they were "used," "sexed up," and "hot and bothered" about it. Jeez, they should have called it Quantum of SEX instead. These females I've spoken with have felt this way because NEW James Bond is always in a constant state of looking like he's been beaten to all hell. He's no longer the pristine Bond that somehow out runs machines guns, fights with guys twice his size, and explosions without breaking a sweat, but rather has his scars fully on display. Chicks dig two things: The Long Ball, and scars. Having Bond run from place to place getting his ass kicked makes him so much cooler and sexy as hell to females across the Nation. Even the way he gets tortured has become so gritty that it's basically erotica for females now.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Deep Thoughts with Mad Max
Do homosexual males enjoy the process of excretion?
When my friend Max first posed that question to me I was unsure of the appropriate answer. Gay men (the bottoms anyway) find pleasure in getting long conical shaped objects lodged in their rectal cavities. Wouldn't it seem plausible then to assume that they enjoy your average, everyday Webster's Dictionary style logs of poop sliding through their fudge factories? If that is the case, and again I am not sure that it is, would they then prairie dog those brown bananas to recreate the sexual thrusting experience?
While the physical evidence seems to be steaming like an avalanche, there remains the dark side of dumping that we don't like to talk about. The painful poops, the different colors of chocolate, the monsoon mashes, and the rest. There is no way that any male, no matter if he regularly takes a rod up his tail pipe or not, can liken poop to sexual pleasure. But who am I to decide?
When my friend Max first posed that question to me I was unsure of the appropriate answer. Gay men (the bottoms anyway) find pleasure in getting long conical shaped objects lodged in their rectal cavities. Wouldn't it seem plausible then to assume that they enjoy your average, everyday Webster's Dictionary style logs of poop sliding through their fudge factories? If that is the case, and again I am not sure that it is, would they then prairie dog those brown bananas to recreate the sexual thrusting experience?
While the physical evidence seems to be steaming like an avalanche, there remains the dark side of dumping that we don't like to talk about. The painful poops, the different colors of chocolate, the monsoon mashes, and the rest. There is no way that any male, no matter if he regularly takes a rod up his tail pipe or not, can liken poop to sexual pleasure. But who am I to decide?
Monday, November 10, 2008
Double Take
My twin sisters turn 21 today and in honor of them I present to you the very first installment of Double Take, in which we examine the striking resemblances in the world of popular culture.
Our inaugural Double Take features Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen and Sum 41 lead singer Deryck Whibley.
First we have Clausen, the Prince of the yah dudes,who was born into a football factory of a family in Thousand Oaks, California. His two older brothers, Casey and Rick, each started at quarterback for the University of Tennessee, but neither was nearly as touted as Jimmy. Clausen, who was featured on a Sportscenter special as a Sophomore, was perhaps the most hyped high school football player of all time (Although it can be argued that the #1 player each year surpasses the previous years #1 in hype. Ex- Terrelle Pryor). Clausen was expected to return the Fighting Irish to national prominence and before he even stepped onto campus, he was being heralded as their savior. The golden domers were quick to point out his initials JC as evidence of his pending immortality, at least in Irish folk lore.
Since his arrival in South Bend, the Irish have floundered through a year and a half of mediocre football. It appears that Clausen spends more time at the beach ripping shredders on his surf board, participating in drinking competitions, and gelling his hair than he does in the film room, in the weight room, and on the practice field.
Clausen's long lost twin Whibley is perhaps most known for marrying fellow Canadian rocker Avril Lavigne (apparently their first song as bride and groom was Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls- why that's relevant I don't know), but he also had a brief pop career of his own as the lead guitarist/vocalist of the band Sum 41. Sum 41's most popular song was titled Fat Lip off of their 2001 album All Killer No Filler.
That song particularly resonates with me because it was featured in the EA Sports video game NHL 2002. That game and that game alone is the basis of all of my limited hockey knowledge (Most of you know that I'm not exactly the best ice skater out there). The best part of the game was the breakaway cam. Whenever you had a long one on one with the goalie, your controller started vibrating, a heart beat noise began pumping out of the speakers, and the screen blacked out almost everything but you and your path to the goalie. Needless to say that I nearly pissed myself every time that camera feature came on and shot the puck about 80 rows up in the stands.
Now I am a Notre Dame football fan, but I find it a little troubling that I can absolutely picture Clausen doing exactly what Whibley does in that video. All I'm saying is don't be surprised to see Jimmy whip out his surf board the next time the Notre Dame faithful start doing the wave.
Thanks to RJ in Liverpool, NY for making the observation.
Our inaugural Double Take features Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen and Sum 41 lead singer Deryck Whibley.
First we have Clausen, the Prince of the yah dudes,who was born into a football factory of a family in Thousand Oaks, California. His two older brothers, Casey and Rick, each started at quarterback for the University of Tennessee, but neither was nearly as touted as Jimmy. Clausen, who was featured on a Sportscenter special as a Sophomore, was perhaps the most hyped high school football player of all time (Although it can be argued that the #1 player each year surpasses the previous years #1 in hype. Ex- Terrelle Pryor). Clausen was expected to return the Fighting Irish to national prominence and before he even stepped onto campus, he was being heralded as their savior. The golden domers were quick to point out his initials JC as evidence of his pending immortality, at least in Irish folk lore.
Since his arrival in South Bend, the Irish have floundered through a year and a half of mediocre football. It appears that Clausen spends more time at the beach ripping shredders on his surf board, participating in drinking competitions, and gelling his hair than he does in the film room, in the weight room, and on the practice field.
Clausen's long lost twin Whibley is perhaps most known for marrying fellow Canadian rocker Avril Lavigne (apparently their first song as bride and groom was Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls- why that's relevant I don't know), but he also had a brief pop career of his own as the lead guitarist/vocalist of the band Sum 41. Sum 41's most popular song was titled Fat Lip off of their 2001 album All Killer No Filler.
That song particularly resonates with me because it was featured in the EA Sports video game NHL 2002. That game and that game alone is the basis of all of my limited hockey knowledge (Most of you know that I'm not exactly the best ice skater out there). The best part of the game was the breakaway cam. Whenever you had a long one on one with the goalie, your controller started vibrating, a heart beat noise began pumping out of the speakers, and the screen blacked out almost everything but you and your path to the goalie. Needless to say that I nearly pissed myself every time that camera feature came on and shot the puck about 80 rows up in the stands.
Now I am a Notre Dame football fan, but I find it a little troubling that I can absolutely picture Clausen doing exactly what Whibley does in that video. All I'm saying is don't be surprised to see Jimmy whip out his surf board the next time the Notre Dame faithful start doing the wave.
Thanks to RJ in Liverpool, NY for making the observation.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Team America
Now that this historic election is over, let me express my congratulations to our 43 and 3/5 president Barack Obama. To all of those that thought racism was rooted in the Deep South, may I present to you the Three-fifths compromise.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-fifths_compromise
This legislation was one of the cornerstones of our great nation. Our founding fathers sat across the table from one another and argued about the value of slaves. The fact that they compromised on three-fifths is incredible because it means that men from the North argued that the value of slaves should be less. (i.e. 1/5 or 0) I can not believe that this compromise is taught in schools all across America and we wonder where this ingrained sense of racism comes from?
In regards to the election, I thought it was remarkable how much the race issue was downplayed throughout and I think Obama deserves a lot of credit for that. African-Americans obviously embraced him, but he did not take on that rah rah black man label. He stayed true to his message for all Americans and it paid off in the end. Of course now that the election is over, I have to hear every black man in the country's thoughts on this landmark occasion. Everyone from Donovan McNabb ('Cuse guy, gotta love him) to Carl Winslow to Michael Irvin have shared their thoughts. Surprisingly Irvin actually made a good point. He said that the election of a black man as the next president of the United States resonated with him because the last time he saw his people (his words, not mine) celebrate like this was after the OJ Simpson verdict. He was bothered by that because he said, "Why are we celebrating? Two people are dead." Dare I say that it was more monumental that a crack fiend like Michael Irvin made a good point than Obama getting elected?
While Obama's race is getting a lot of coverage now, it is the amateur puns involving his first name that are infuriating me. If I had seen one more person's facebook status pre or post election that said something like "Barack the vote" or "This country is headed for the Barack bottom" I was going to snap. People expressing their political views on facebook is laughable. To all those people that said they are moving to Canada. Good. If we want to get out of America, then get the fuck out. Put your money where your mouth is. Don't make an immature comment like that because of who our next president is. Your daily life would not be drastically altered no matter who was in office. Shut up and grow up.
Politics aside, here's why you have to like Obama. When asked the one thing he would change in sports during halftime of the Monday Night Football game he said that it's time for a playoff in college football. A perfect, timely answer that many football fans can relate to. Mccain, on the other hand, talked about getting performance enhancing drugs out of sports. That answer would have been good in 2004 and it was just too politically motivated for me. Also, on election day, Obama was so calm, cool, and composed that he played pickup basketball with some friends (apparently it's an election day tradition). I don't care if you dislike Obama's views and policies, you have to like that. And no matter what, we are still the greatest country in the world.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-fifths_compromise
This legislation was one of the cornerstones of our great nation. Our founding fathers sat across the table from one another and argued about the value of slaves. The fact that they compromised on three-fifths is incredible because it means that men from the North argued that the value of slaves should be less. (i.e. 1/5 or 0) I can not believe that this compromise is taught in schools all across America and we wonder where this ingrained sense of racism comes from?
In regards to the election, I thought it was remarkable how much the race issue was downplayed throughout and I think Obama deserves a lot of credit for that. African-Americans obviously embraced him, but he did not take on that rah rah black man label. He stayed true to his message for all Americans and it paid off in the end. Of course now that the election is over, I have to hear every black man in the country's thoughts on this landmark occasion. Everyone from Donovan McNabb ('Cuse guy, gotta love him) to Carl Winslow to Michael Irvin have shared their thoughts. Surprisingly Irvin actually made a good point. He said that the election of a black man as the next president of the United States resonated with him because the last time he saw his people (his words, not mine) celebrate like this was after the OJ Simpson verdict. He was bothered by that because he said, "Why are we celebrating? Two people are dead." Dare I say that it was more monumental that a crack fiend like Michael Irvin made a good point than Obama getting elected?
While Obama's race is getting a lot of coverage now, it is the amateur puns involving his first name that are infuriating me. If I had seen one more person's facebook status pre or post election that said something like "Barack the vote" or "This country is headed for the Barack bottom" I was going to snap. People expressing their political views on facebook is laughable. To all those people that said they are moving to Canada. Good. If we want to get out of America, then get the fuck out. Put your money where your mouth is. Don't make an immature comment like that because of who our next president is. Your daily life would not be drastically altered no matter who was in office. Shut up and grow up.
Politics aside, here's why you have to like Obama. When asked the one thing he would change in sports during halftime of the Monday Night Football game he said that it's time for a playoff in college football. A perfect, timely answer that many football fans can relate to. Mccain, on the other hand, talked about getting performance enhancing drugs out of sports. That answer would have been good in 2004 and it was just too politically motivated for me. Also, on election day, Obama was so calm, cool, and composed that he played pickup basketball with some friends (apparently it's an election day tradition). I don't care if you dislike Obama's views and policies, you have to like that. And no matter what, we are still the greatest country in the world.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
State of the Franchise
I just wasted a solid 2 and a half hours of my life watching the New York Knicks lose at home to the Milwaukee Bucks. After winning their home opener against the dreadful Miami Heat, the Knicks have now lost two in a row and have fallen below the .500 mark, where they will likely remain for the rest of the season. The Knicks problems have been well documented, but the new season as well as a new coach, brought a quasi sense of optimism to the fan base. No one expected things to be turned around overnight, but the same problems that have plagued the Knicks over the last few years have been stealing the headlines recently and it seems like they just won't go away.
Isaiah Thomas- The former coach and VP of basketball operations was recently taken to the hospital because he took a sleeping pill for every Knick loss that he was responsible for. Then in classic Isaiah fashion, he tried to pin the blame on his 17 year old daughter. It was with that same class that he ran the Knicks franchise. He over paid mightily to bring in pure thugs (Stephon Marbury, Eddy Curry, and Steve Francis) and thought that he could coach them. With that thought I will move on for fear of ranting for hours on end about the mistakes that Isaiah has made in his tenure.
Stephon Marbury- The Coney Island product has been an utter disappointment since he arrived in New York. He is very gifted, but he is not a winner. You know that someone is a problem when they get a tattoo on their head. Now I've had a longstanding belief that a neck tattoo is a clear indication of thug status (Steph obviously has that covered too), but inking up your head is taking it to a whole other level.
Once you pull the trigger on a face/head tattoo you really have to stop and reevaluate your life. The only other people that I know that have gone this route are Mike Tyson, The Game, and every one that has documented their murderous past with a teardrop underneath their eye. Is that really the company that you want to associated with?
Eddy Curry- This tub of lard is a waste of a lot of space and talent. I will admit that he is gifted offensively, but every other aspect of his game is miserable. This story is a microcosm of the Eddy Curry era in New York. http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/10/eddy_currys_season_starts_off.html. I gotta be honest here. I'm thrilled that Mike D' Antoni is the new coach after a comment like that. Now I'm not a physics professor by any means, but you have to be one giant steaming pile of cow dung to cause an excercise ball to explode.
The absence of Patrick Ewing- Ever since the man, the myth, the legend (we'll get into why in a minute) Patrick Ewing retired, the Knicks have been a disaster. Now they never won a championship when he was there, but at least they were competitive, and more importantly, intimidating. Back when Ewing first joined the Knicks NBA players were still donning the short shorts. The problem was that Ewing's tree trunk sized schlong was so long that it would hang out of his shorts and aggressively flop when he ran up and down the court. This forced Ewing to tape his Grand Daddy D to his thigh before each game. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=patrick%20ewing (I know there is a more legitimate source out there, but I couldn't find it because Ewing's dong was obstructing my line of sight all the way from Orlando- where he is an assistant coach) Now to regain this intimidation factor, the Knicks wisely traded for Ewing's son Patrick Ewing Jr., but right before the season they inexplicably cut him loose.
Isaiah Thomas- The former coach and VP of basketball operations was recently taken to the hospital because he took a sleeping pill for every Knick loss that he was responsible for. Then in classic Isaiah fashion, he tried to pin the blame on his 17 year old daughter. It was with that same class that he ran the Knicks franchise. He over paid mightily to bring in pure thugs (Stephon Marbury, Eddy Curry, and Steve Francis) and thought that he could coach them. With that thought I will move on for fear of ranting for hours on end about the mistakes that Isaiah has made in his tenure.
Stephon Marbury- The Coney Island product has been an utter disappointment since he arrived in New York. He is very gifted, but he is not a winner. You know that someone is a problem when they get a tattoo on their head. Now I've had a longstanding belief that a neck tattoo is a clear indication of thug status (Steph obviously has that covered too), but inking up your head is taking it to a whole other level.
Once you pull the trigger on a face/head tattoo you really have to stop and reevaluate your life. The only other people that I know that have gone this route are Mike Tyson, The Game, and every one that has documented their murderous past with a teardrop underneath their eye. Is that really the company that you want to associated with?
Eddy Curry- This tub of lard is a waste of a lot of space and talent. I will admit that he is gifted offensively, but every other aspect of his game is miserable. This story is a microcosm of the Eddy Curry era in New York. http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/10/eddy_currys_season_starts_off.html. I gotta be honest here. I'm thrilled that Mike D' Antoni is the new coach after a comment like that. Now I'm not a physics professor by any means, but you have to be one giant steaming pile of cow dung to cause an excercise ball to explode.
The absence of Patrick Ewing- Ever since the man, the myth, the legend (we'll get into why in a minute) Patrick Ewing retired, the Knicks have been a disaster. Now they never won a championship when he was there, but at least they were competitive, and more importantly, intimidating. Back when Ewing first joined the Knicks NBA players were still donning the short shorts. The problem was that Ewing's tree trunk sized schlong was so long that it would hang out of his shorts and aggressively flop when he ran up and down the court. This forced Ewing to tape his Grand Daddy D to his thigh before each game. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=patrick%20ewing (I know there is a more legitimate source out there, but I couldn't find it because Ewing's dong was obstructing my line of sight all the way from Orlando- where he is an assistant coach) Now to regain this intimidation factor, the Knicks wisely traded for Ewing's son Patrick Ewing Jr., but right before the season they inexplicably cut him loose.
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