Secret Agent Man

This next post was actually written by my friend Frank, who writes movie reviews for The Post Standard and is the co-host of an AM radio show. If you have just one conversation with Frank you would think that he was a 42 year old man because of his receding hair line and knowledge of 1980's television shows. In fact, Frank was going to be a member of my 2009 World Series of Pop Culture team, but VH1 decided against a Season 3. They instead chose to focus on 'I love the 80's- Part Trey'. Without further ado, here is Frank's take on Daniel Craig's portrayal of James Bond.

Why Women Love The NEW James Bond

James Bond has always been a man's ideal of cool, and badassery. Since the days of Sean Connery, Bond has been a character adored by men everywhere. However, since Daniel Craig has taken the Bond helm, the tide is beginning to turn towards James Bond's biggest supporters being females.

In the past, Bond was never much for the ladies because he's chauvinistic, his Bond girls had names like Pussy Galore and Dr. Holly Goodhead (seriously, Dr. Holly Goodhead!), his films are usually filled with explosions and lame plot points that go no where, so much so that Mike Myers made three Austin Powers films making fun of it. However, now for some reason women love the NEW Daniel Craig James Bond.

So, here is a list of the 7 reasons that the NEW James Bond gets the ladies going.

However, lets start the list in proper Bond fashion



1.) He Has Emotions


Consoling a woman in a shower with a suit on is both emotional and bad ass.

The new Bond film is named Quantum of Solace, which breaks down the word Quantum which means "a large quantity; bulk" (plus word plays with the organization QUANTUM that Bond fights in the film), and Solace which means "comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness." So basically, James Bond needs a large amount of comfort. Wait, that can't be right? James Bond needs feelings? Yup, Daniel Craig and the creators of the NEW Bond have created realistic emotions for a character that was always thought to be a one sided cliche (Thank you very much, Christopher Nolan for starting that trend).

Women love the NEW Bond because he's no longer a robotic character but rather a real guy, who feels pain, and can have emotions over the women he loves (and boy does he 'love' a lot of them). The NEW James Bond's biggest problem isn't some bad guy with a laser trying to take over the world, but rather that he has too many emotions.

2.) He's a BAMF


Have you ever beaten someone up in black and white? No? Well that's why you're not badass!

"It'd be a pretty cold bastard who didn't want revenge for the death of someone he loved" - M.

Bond's boss, M, states the exact nature of the NEW James Bond and it's that he's one cold bastard. I mean he's just overflowing with BAD ASS, so much in fact that many of the negative reviews for Quantum of Solace are that this Bond isn't as much 'fun' as he was in the past. I mean Bond is still Bond, and still has the British wit about him, but Craig has turned the guy into a vicious killing machine. I mean just watch the opening of Casino Royale (Craig's first Bond film). Women love it because he's just so damn animalistic. I mean not only does he kill someone before they finish a sentence, but he kills someone else in a bathroom in the dirtiest, grittiest way possible! Somewhere women are licking their chops, while Roger Moore (the Bizarro Daniel Craig Bond) is frightened for his life.

3.) A Woman Runs His Life


Yes, MOTHER!

Okay, I know what you're going to say, "But Judi Dench started playing M in Goldeneye with Pierce Brosnan!" That's true, Judi Dench started playing M, Bond's boss, and runner of MI6 in Goldeneye with Brosnan, but the difference is that Brosnan's Bond was playful with Dench's M. They would bicker between each other, nothing of any substance. However, Craig's Bond and Dench's M argue big time almost to the point of where it's a turn on for women everywhere. Bond doesn't listen to anyone, follows no one's rules but his own, but when it comes to the one person he actually listens to, it's a woman! However, he doesn't just lay down and be a door mat for M (That's what wusses do), but rather he always battles her tooth and nail to where Bond and M reach an agreement. Craig's Bond is so damn attractive to females because not only does he fight for what he wants with women, but ultimately lets them win.

4.) This Picture


This one's for you, every girl I know.

Do I really even have to explain why this one is loved by women? Moving on.
(Also as a guy, let me say, put some damn pants on, Daniel Craig).

5.) How He Wears Suits


Bond suit up!

Everybody knows that a man isn't really a man unless he can wear a nice suit (Just ask another man's man, Barney Stinson). Now, Bond has always looked great in assorted suits, but NEW James Bond just makes suits look so much more awesome. That's quite a feat, considering that he did so wearing a suit for pretty much the whole duration of Casino Royale. New James Bond can wear a suit when fighting in the bathroom, gets blood on his suit, suits with bowties, suits with long ties, black suits, blue suits, bathing suits, the list goes on and on. I'm not saying that Craig is the best to ever wear a Bond suit, that will always go to Sean Connery, but he wears them with the best of them. As Vesper Lynd says in Casino Royale: "There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets; this is the latter. And I need you looking like a man who belongs at that table." In that statement Vesper speaks for the whole female gender when it comes to a man in a good looking suit.

6.) He's Not Interested


Does it look like he gives a damn?

NEW James Bond: "Vodka Martini"
Bartender: "Shaken or stirred?"
NEW James Bond: "Does it look like I give a damn?"

Seriously, does it look like he gives a damn? I mean James Bond used to care about trivial things like how his drinks were made and the women he went after, but no longer (That's not to say, that he doesn't get his drinks the way he wants them or doesn't get the women he goes after. He's still James Bond). NEW James Bond has bigger issues to worry about then if his Bond girl likes him, or if his drink is properly made. With the new realistic emotions brought to NEW James Bond, he doesn't quite have time to worry about things that used to be big concerns. He's not interested in anything other than his duty and job, but that uninterest in anything that isn't his goal is just so damn attractive to females. I mean lets be serious, is there anything more attractive to a female than a guy who isn't interested or just doesn't seem to care? NEW James Bond doesn't really care if you like him or not, he's James Bond, and it's that fact that makes him so irresistible to women everywhere.

7.) He Constantly Looks Beaten To All Hell


Blood, black eyes, and dirty Bond. I think a female just collapsed.

One reaction I got from female after female who went to see Quantum of Solace is that after the film they felt as if they were "used," "sexed up," and "hot and bothered" about it. Jeez, they should have called it Quantum of SEX instead. These females I've spoken with have felt this way because NEW James Bond is always in a constant state of looking like he's been beaten to all hell. He's no longer the pristine Bond that somehow out runs machines guns, fights with guys twice his size, and explosions without breaking a sweat, but rather has his scars fully on display. Chicks dig two things: The Long Ball, and scars. Having Bond run from place to place getting his ass kicked makes him so much cooler and sexy as hell to females across the Nation. Even the way he gets tortured has become so gritty that it's basically erotica for females now.