State of the Franchise

I just wasted a solid 2 and a half hours of my life watching the New York Knicks lose at home to the Milwaukee Bucks. After winning their home opener against the dreadful Miami Heat, the Knicks have now lost two in a row and have fallen below the .500 mark, where they will likely remain for the rest of the season. The Knicks problems have been well documented, but the new season as well as a new coach, brought a quasi sense of optimism to the fan base. No one expected things to be turned around overnight, but the same problems that have plagued the Knicks over the last few years have been stealing the headlines recently and it seems like they just won't go away.

Isaiah Thomas- The former coach and VP of basketball operations was recently taken to the hospital because he took a sleeping pill for every Knick loss that he was responsible for. Then in classic Isaiah fashion, he tried to pin the blame on his 17 year old daughter. It was with that same class that he ran the Knicks franchise. He over paid mightily to bring in pure thugs (Stephon Marbury, Eddy Curry, and Steve Francis) and thought that he could coach them. With that thought I will move on for fear of ranting for hours on end about the mistakes that Isaiah has made in his tenure.

Stephon Marbury- The Coney Island product has been an utter disappointment since he arrived in New York. He is very gifted, but he is not a winner. You know that someone is a problem when they get a tattoo on their head. Now I've had a longstanding belief that a neck tattoo is a clear indication of thug status (Steph obviously has that covered too), but inking up your head is taking it to a whole other level.



Once you pull the trigger on a face/head tattoo you really have to stop and reevaluate your life. The only other people that I know that have gone this route are Mike Tyson, The Game, and every one that has documented their murderous past with a teardrop underneath their eye. Is that really the company that you want to associated with?

Eddy Curry- This tub of lard is a waste of a lot of space and talent. I will admit that he is gifted offensively, but every other aspect of his game is miserable. This story is a microcosm of the Eddy Curry era in New York. http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/10/eddy_currys_season_starts_off.html. I gotta be honest here. I'm thrilled that Mike D' Antoni is the new coach after a comment like that. Now I'm not a physics professor by any means, but you have to be one giant steaming pile of cow dung to cause an excercise ball to explode.

The absence of Patrick Ewing- Ever since the man, the myth, the legend (we'll get into why in a minute) Patrick Ewing retired, the Knicks have been a disaster. Now they never won a championship when he was there, but at least they were competitive, and more importantly, intimidating. Back when Ewing first joined the Knicks NBA players were still donning the short shorts. The problem was that Ewing's tree trunk sized schlong was so long that it would hang out of his shorts and aggressively flop when he ran up and down the court. This forced Ewing to tape his Grand Daddy D to his thigh before each game. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=patrick%20ewing (I know there is a more legitimate source out there, but I couldn't find it because Ewing's dong was obstructing my line of sight all the way from Orlando- where he is an assistant coach) Now to regain this intimidation factor, the Knicks wisely traded for Ewing's son Patrick Ewing Jr., but right before the season they inexplicably cut him loose.