Facts About Beer

I hate chain letters/forwaded emails. In fact, I hate them so much that I might add them to my running hate list. Last week my brother sent an email to my two other brothers, parents, and I about how the grammar school that we all went to is closing. I hit reply all and responded to the news in a lighthearted fashion, but if I had known the reprecussions of my action at the time I never would have done so.

Apparently my mother had never known my email address until she saw my response to my brother's email. The next day I opened up my inbox to find not one, but two chain letters/forwarded emails from her. I cringed at the sight of them. I mean, let's be honest, has anyone ever been excited to read an email that has FWD: in the subject? A few days later I returned to the city of hopes and dreams for the first time in months and while I was there I told my mother that I would not like to receive any more chain letters/forwarded emails from her in the future.

Although I thought my point blank, honest approach would rectify the situation, it did not. On Wednesday I received two more chain letters/forwarded emails from her. I, again, did not read them.

That all being said, 1 out of about every 100 chain letter/forwarded emails is outstanding. Ladies and gentlemen, this is that one. The following was sent to me by my buddy Hermo. He is an 8th/9th grade math teacher and one of the biggest boozehounds I know.


Beer contains female hormones.

This indeed is worrisome.

Last month, Wits University and RAU scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.



It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.