Battle for Conference Supremacy

During the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament there's been a lot of talk about how each conference has performed. Did the Big East deserve to have 11 teams in? How did they only have 2 teams advance to the Sweet 16? Is a bubble team from a major conference more worthy than a mid major?

Well, forget about the tournament for a minute, why don't we just look to the NBA to see which conference is the best? My newly married friend posed this question to me last week and I found it to be fascinating. He said, "If you had to make a 10 man roster of current NBA players from the same college conference, what would be the best team?" After some serious consideration I have compiled the teams from each of the major six conferences. I also expanded the rosters to 12 (the same as NBA active rosters) and included a brief synopsis of how good I think each team is. Feel free to agree or disagree.

(Conferences are listed alphabetically)

ACC



PG- Chris Paul, Hornets (Wake Forest)
SG- Vince Carter, Suns (North Carolina)
SF- Luol Deng, Bulls (Duke)
PF- Chris Bosh, Heat (Georgia Tech)
C- Tim Duncan, Spurs (Wake Forest)

Bench

Raymond Felton, Nuggets (North Carolina)
John Salmons, Bucks (Miami)
Shane Battier, Grizzlies (Duke)
Carlos Boozer, Bulls (Duke)
Elton Brand, 76ers (Duke)
Grant Hill, Suns (Duke)
Antawn Jamison, Cavs (North Carolina

Synopsis- Pretty remarkable that Vince Carter still starts after all of these years. Quite frankly, I like Salmons more, but Carter’s name carries some weight (as in dead weight because that’s what he is). This team’s clear weakness is at the wing. They have nice size (Bosh, Duncan, Boozer), a great floor general (CP3), and great complimentary veteran role players (Battier, Hill, Jamison), but they lack an elite scorer, athleticism at the wing, and a real threat from behind the arc.


Big East



PG- Dwyane Wade, Heat (Marquette)
SG- Ray Allen, Celtics (UCONN)
SF- Rudy Gay, Grizzlies (UCONN)
PF- Carmelo Anthony, Knicks (Syracuse)
C- Roy Hibbert, Pacers (Georgetown)

Bench

Ben Gordon, Pistons (UCONN)
Wesley Matthews, Blazers (Marquette)
Caron Butler, Mavericks (UCONN)
Jeff Green, Celtics (Georgetown)
Emeka Okafor, Hornets (UCONN)
Wilson Chandler, Nuggets (Depaul)
Ron Artest, Lakers (St. John’s)

Synopsis- No true point guard was good enough to make the roster (Sorry Jonny Flynn) and that hurts them quite a bit. They do have two superstars (Wade and Melo), the best shooter of all time (Ray Ray), offensive firepower (Gordon, Chandler), and an emerging star (Rudy Gay), but they have mediocre and limited bigs and no true ball handler.


Big Ten



PG- Deron Williams, Nets (Illinois)
SG- Eric Gordon, Clippers (Indiana)
SF- Jason Richardson, Magic (Michigan State)
PF- Zach Randolph, Grizzlies (Michigan State)
C- Carl Landry, Hornets (Purdue)

Bench

Mike Conley, Grizzlies (Ohio State)
Jamal Crawford, Hawks (Michigan)
Shannon Brown, Lakers (Michigan State)
Kris Humphries, Nets (Minnesota)
Juwan Howard, Heat (Michigan)
Evan Turner, 76ers (Ohio State)
Devin Harris, Jazz (Wisconsin)

Synopsis- Where is the size? Carl Landry is a nice player, but he’s not a center. Outside of him I love the starting lineup. D Will is arguably the best point guard in the game, Eric Gordon has taking a huge leap forward this year after playing with Team USA in the summer, Jason Richardson is one of the most underrated players in the league, and Z Bo is an absolute beast. Their bench has some nice pieces (Crawford, Shannon Brown), but it’s rather underwhelming compared to the rest of these teams.


Big 12



PG- Chauncey Billups, Knicks (Colorado)
SG- Paul Pierce, Celtics (Kansas)
SF- Kevin Durant, Thunder (Texas)
PF- Blake Griffin, Clippers (Oklahoma)
C- LaMarcus Aldridge, Blazers (Texas)

Bench

Daniel Gibson, Cavs (Texas)
Kirk Hinrich, Hawks (Kansas)
Tony Allen, Grizzlies (Oklahoma State)
Michael Beasley, Timberwolves (Kansas State)
DeAndre Jordan, Clippers (Texas A&M) D
J Augustin, Bobcats (Texas)
Nick Collison, Thunder (Kansas)

Synopsis- Easily my favorite starting lineup of the major conferences, but like the Big Ten there’s just not a lot of depth behind it. Another weakness that doesn’t jump out at you right away is that this team really has no low post presence. Aldridge’s low post game is improving, but he’s basically a face up shooter. Blake Griffin is an uber athletic 4 that drives to the rim (he doesn’t operate in the post). Beasley, who can’t win for losing, plays more like a 2 than a 4 even though he dominated the glass in college. That all said, this may be the best of the six purely based on the firepower in their starting lineup.


Pac 10



PG- Jason Kidd, Mavericks (California)
SG- Russell Westbrook, Thunder (UCLA)
SF- Andre Igoudala, 76ers (Arizona)
PF- Kevin Love, Timberwolves (UCLA)
C- Brook Lopez, Nets (Stanford)

Bench

Jason Terry, Mavericks (Arizona)
Gilbert Arenas, Magic (Arizona)
Nick Young, Wizards (USC)
Richard Jefferson, Spurs (Arizona)
Channing Frye, Suns (Arizona)
Aaron Brooks, Suns (Oregon)
Brandon Roy, Blazers (Washington)

Synopsis- Believe it or not, the Pac 10 had the most players that seemed worthy of making the team. Players like Baron Davis, Trevor Ariza, and OJ Mayo didn’t make the cut. This team would definitely operate best playing an up-tempo style. Jason Kidd would have a field day taking outlet passes from Kevin Love and running with super athletic wings like Westbrook and Iguodala. Brook Lopez is a true low post scorer who would love (excuse the pun) playing alongside Kevin Love because Love would make up for Lopez’ softness on the glass. I love Jason Terry, Arenas, and Nick Young coming off the bench and if Brandon Roy could ever stay healthy he would probably be in the starting lineup.

SEC



PG- Rajon Rondo, Celtics (Kentucky)
SG- Joe Johnson, Hawks (Arkansas)
SF- Gerald Wallace, Blazers (Alabama)
PF- David Lee, Warriors (Florida)
C- Al Horford, Hawks (Florida)

Bench

John Wall, Wizards (Kentucky)
Mo Williams, Clippers (Alabama)
Mike Miller, Heat (Florida)
Glen Davis, Celtics (LSU)
Joakim Noah, Bulls (Florida)
Marcus Thornton, Hornets (LSU)
Tayshaun Prince, Pistons (Kentucky)

Synopsis- I’d be very interested to see how Rondo would play without Ray Allen and Paul Pierce. This team would dominate the glass, but who’s their go to scorer? Joe Johnson? He’s a talented 2, but he’s the go to guy on the Hawks and they aren’t even a top 4 seed in the East. This team does have an intriguing bench, but not a lot of players that can fill the scoring void. As weird as it sounds, this team would probably play like a typical SEC team who slows it down, plays aggressive defense, and grinds out tough baskets. They say defense wins, even in the NBA, but you still need to have elite offensive weapons and this team doesn’t have any.


Well now that two mid-majors have advanced to the Final Four (Butler and VCU)I think it's only fair if we take a look at a team comprised of players from non major conferences.

Mid Majors



PG- Derrick Rose, Bulls (Memphis)
SG- Stephen Curry, Warriors (Davidson)
SF- Danny Granger, Pacers (New Mexico)
PF- Paul Millsap, Jazz (Louisiana Tech)
C- Andrew Bogut, Bucks (Utah)

Bench

Tyreke Evans, Kings (Memphis)
Kevin Martin, Rockets (Western Carolina)
Lamar Odom, Lakers (Rhode Island)
David West, Hornets (Xavier)
Javale McGee, Wizards (UNLV)
Jameer Nelson, Magic (St. Joseph’s)
Kyle Korver, Bulls (Creighton)

Synopsis- I would take this team to beat any and all of the teams from the major conferences. Sure they have more schools to pick from, but they are easily the most balanced. They have 4 players who played PG in college (Curry and Evans are now shooting guards), 5 elite scorers (Rose, Curry, Granger, Evans, and Martin), 4 top notch threats from deep (Curry, Granger, Martin, and Korver), and above average big men that have unique skill sets (Millsap is your prototypical low post scorer and rebounding, Bogut is as good of a low post defender as you’re going to get, Odom is arguably the most versatile player in the league as well as an elite rebounder, West can play in the post and has a nice mid-range game, and McGee is an athletic freak who can come in and grab rebounds and block shots). The only weakness I can see, and it’s not much of one, is that they one have one true superstar (Rose) and other teams have more.

*Steve Nash, Suns (Santa Clara) was not considered because, as a Canadian, he is also eligible for our next category. Similarly, other players that were eligible for more than one category (ex: Linas Kleiza, Raptors (Missouri) (Lithuania)) we're not considered.

Foreign



PG- Tony Parker, Spurs (France)
SG- Manu Ginobili, Spurs (Argentina)
SF- Hedo Turkoglu, Magic (Turkey)
PF- Dirk Nowitzki, Mavericks (Germany)
C- Pau Gasol, Lakers (Spain)

Bench

Jose Calderon, Raptors (Spain)
Danilo Gallinari, Nuggets (Italy)
Andrei Kirilenko, Jazz (Russia)
Andrea Bargnani, Raptors (Italy)
Nene Hilario, Nuggets (Brazil)
Marc Gasol, Grizzlies (Spain)
Luis Scola, Rockets (Argentina)

Synopsis- As much as I’d like to say that this group of foreigners would suck, I can’t. This team is loaded. Two legitimate superstars in Dirk and Pau. One of the best late game scorers in the world in Manu. Six viable threats from behind the 3 point line (Manu, Hedo, Dirk, Calderon, Gallo, and Bargnani). Great size (the Gasol brothers, Nene, Scola). Two true pass first point guards (one of which is a former NBA Finals MVP and a confirmed swinger). The biggest question for this team is defense. Kirilenko and Nene are the only two notable defensive players on the roster and Kirilenko is way past his prime. So how good are they? I’d take them to beat any team yet.


If you're even a remote fan of the NBA you know that there's a team that we haven't gotten to yet. You should also know that it's probably the best team of them all.

High School



PG- LeBron James, Heat (St. Vincent’s/St. Mary’s in Akron, OH)
SG- Kobe Bryant, Lakers (Lower Merion in Philadelphia, PA)
SF- Amare Stoudemire, Knicks (Cypress Creek in Orlando, FL)
PF- Kevin Garnett, Celtics (Farragut Academy in Chicago, IL)
C- Dwight Howard, Magic (SW Atlanta Christian Academy in Atlanta, GA)

Bench

Monta Ellis, Warriors (Lanier High in Jackson, MS)
J.R. Smith, Nuggets (Saint Benedict’s in Newark, NJ)
Josh Smith, Hawks (Oak Hill in Mouth of Wilson, VA)
Al Jefferson, Jazz (Prentiss High in Prentiss, MS)
Andrew Bynum, Lakers (St. Joseph’s in Metuchen, NJ)
Tyson Chandler, Mavericks (Dominguez High in Compton, CA)
Dorell Wright, Warriors (South Kent Prep in South Kent, CT)

Synopsis- This team lacks a true point guard (even though some would argue that PG is LeBron’s natural position), but they have 4 current super stars (LBJ, Kobe, Amare, and Dwight) and one former star who’s past his prime (KG). They have explosive scorers on their bench (Ellis, J.R. Smith), unmatched size, six elite defenders (LBJ, Kobe, KG, Dwight, J.R. Smith, and Josh Smith), and 4 solid 3-point shooters (Kobe, Ellis, J.R. Smith, and Dorell Wright). This team’s pure talent and other worldly size makes them virtually unbeatable.

Happy birthday {insert name here}

As you know, or should know, I turned 25 last week. It's a pretty daunting number and I wasn't exactly thrilled about it by any means. My point being that now there's no real age to look forward to. 25 is still sort of young (at least that's what I'm telling myself), but 26 and above aren't...at all.

That all said, because it was recently my birthday I now have fresh perspective to rail against the Facebook birthday wall post. This is a topic I've touched on before. In fact, it made my inaugural Hate List. But I think it's now time to get a little more in depth.



As I wrote in my Hate List, I can't stand the "Happy bday {insert name here}" Facebook wall post. If you know someone well enough to write on their wall on their birthday then you should put a little thought into it and think of an inside joke of some sort. A buddy of mine from highschool actually wrote, "Happy birthday. Sorry, but I don't remember any of our inside jokes," on my wall last week. I thought it was hysterical. Mostly because he's done a few drugs in his day and I haven't seen him in years, so I wasn't the least bit surprised that he had forgotten any of our inside jokes. Quite frankly, I appreciated his honesty.

If you can't think of anything clever to say and haven't seen or talked to whoever's birthday it is in a while it's totally legit to just let them know that. One of my go to's is, "Happy birthday {insert name here}! It's been forever since we've seen each other, but I hope all is well. Have a good one." Ironically one of my friends can't stand the phrase, "I hope all is well," so I've been trying to avoid using it, but I still use it quite a bit.

Now, why should you put a little thought into a birthday wall post instead of just writing "Happy bday {insert name here}" and getting on with your day? Well, because it goes a long way. People are more likely to appreciate and/or remember your well wishes if you put a little thought into it. Also, don't you want people to put a little thought into crafting you a birthday message?

About a month or so ago my buddy Kyle Korver actually said something to the effect of, "I appreciate how you always write more than just a simple happy bday on people's walls," and it wasn't his birthday. He just noticed it.

Don't get me wrong, writing the standard "Happy bday {insert name here}" is still a nice gesture. Obviously it's better than nothing and/or a Facebook message, which is almost always a little creepy. Maybe I'm just a little more selective in who's walls I write on. I imagine some people write on everyone of their "friends" walls on their bdays and in that instance I guess I can understand a few simple "Happy bday {insert name here}" posts, but I think I'm a little more of a realist. I'm not actually friends with all of the people that I'm "friends" with on Facebook.

Another aspect of the Facebook birthday wall post is when you share your birthday with a number of "friends". What's the protocal there? I think a lot of people pretend like they aren't periodically checking their Facebook on their birthday until the inevitable "Thanks for all the bday wishes" post (more on this in a bit), so they don't like to be the first one to crack when it comes to writing on someone's wall that they share a birthday with. Also, what if you aren't actually friends with someone that you share a birthday with? Say they're a friend of a friend that you met once or twice and you just happen to have the same birthday. You still have to wish them a happy birthday, right? On a semi-related note, I also suspect that people are more prone to write a happy bday message on someone's wall in the days leading up to their birthday. Basically the thought process there is essentially, if I write on his/her wall they'll write on mine in a few days when it's my birthday.

Now let's get to the "Thank you for all the birthday wishes" post. Is it necessary? I had a conversation with my buddy Mad Max about it 4-5 months ago and I argued that it was the dumbest thing ever and largely unnecessary. Max couldn't have disagreed more. He said that if you don't thank people for wishing you a happy birthday that you come of as arrogant, self-entitled, and unappreciative. He broke down his point by saying, "Let's say you have a party and I show up and say, "Happy birthday Dan! So great to see you." What do you say? You say thank you, right?" Basically Max owned me in that argument, so for the first year ever I wrote a "Thank you for the birthday wishes" post, but, of course, I had to get clever with it. At about 10pm on the 25th anniversary of my birth I wrote, "Friends, family, and people I randomly met one night in college or otherwise- Thank you for making my 25th birthday both an enjoyable and memorable one." Not that clever, I know.

So if there's one takeaway from this rather innocuous post it's this. Give a little thought before writing on someone's Facebook wall on their birthday.

Brackets, Brackets, Brackets

Well after only one day my NCAA bracket is completely ruined (and prominently featured on ESPNRadio.com), so I figured that I'd post another bracket to take my mind off of it. As I mentioned a few weeks back brackets of all kinds, shapes, and sizes are out there now that March Madness is upon us. One bracket that I was particularly intrigued by was Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive bracket. Their criteria is very simple. Who is sexier? Obviously this is very subjective, but I figured that I'd give it a shot. The four regions that they chose to organize the top 64 women were Fashion (i.e. models), Music & Sports (musicians, athletes, and sideline reporters), Movies (movie actresses), and Television (television actresses). Before we get to the brackets I have a few complaints.

1.) Where is Marisa Miller? I have little doubt that if she was involved she would have won my tournament.

2.) Where is Scarlett Johansson? Jessica Biel?

3.) Why is Gwyneth Paltrow included twice? Once in Music & Sports and once in Movies.

4.) Who thought it would be funny to include a male (Russell Brand) as a 16 seed?

Some of the seeding is all out of whack too, but I just dealt with what they gave me.

Here are the brackets.

Fashion

(1) Brooklyn Decker
(16) Kate Middleton

(8) Bar Rafaeli
(9) Ana Beatriz Barros

(5) Candice Swanepoel
(12) Gisele Bundchen

(4)Irina Shayk
(13) Kate Upton

(6) Izabel Goulart
(11) Jessica White

(3) Selita Banks
(14) Amber Rose

(7) Adriana Lima
(10) Daisy Lowe

(2) Miranda Kerr
(15) Joan Smalls


Music & Sports

(1) Katy Perry
(16) Elin Nordegren

(8) Maria Sharapova
(9) Caroline Wozniacki

(5) Taylor Swift
(12) Cheryl Cole

(4) Erin Andrews
(13) Jenn Brown

(6) Stacy Kiebler
(11) Arianny Celeste

(3) Beyonce
(14 Gwyneth Paltrow

(7) Nicki Minaj
(10) Ines Sainz

(2) Rihanna
(15) Gretchen Bleiler


Movies

(1) Mila Kunis
(16) Russell Brand

(8) Jessica Alba
(9) Kristen Bell

(5) Natalie Portman
(12) Jennifer Lawrence

(4) Ashley Greene
(13) Zoe Saldana

(6) Gwyneth Paltrow
(11) Anne Hathaway

(3) Penelope Cruz
(14) Amanda Seyfried

(7) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
(10) Megan Fox

(2) Olivia Wilde
(15) Amber Heard


Television

(1) Sofia Vergara
(16) Hoda & Kathie Lee

(8) Those girls on Glee
(9) Grace Park

(5) Jennifer Lopez
(12) Sarah Shahi

(4) January Jones
(13) Jessica Pare

(6) Emmy Rossum
(11) Kendra Wilkinson

(3) Christina Hendricks
(14) Lana from Archer

(7) Padma Lakshmi
(10) Katrina Bowden

(2) Kim Kardashian
(15) Bristol Palin


Alright now it's time for my picks.

Fashion (top left)

First Round

(1) Brooklyn Decker over (16) Kate Middleton- Middleton is a babe and she’s going to be the Queen, which is sexy in its own right, but it’s hard to argue with this.

(8) Bar Rafaeli over 9) Ana Beatriz Barros- Worst seeding ever?

(12) Gisele Bundchen over (5) Candice Swanepoel- Actually this might be worse.

(4)Irina Shayk over (13) Kate Upton- A tough first round matchup between the 2011 Sports Illustrated Cover Girl and the potential breakout star from the 2011 Swimsuit Issue, but I gotta go chalk.

(6) Izabel Goulart over (11) Jessica White (not white)- I didn’t know who either was before I put this together, but Goulart is an absolute smokeshow and Jessica White gives credence to one of my long standing theories. People with the last name White are usually black and people with the last name Black are usually white.

(3) Selita Ebanks over (14) Amber Rose (Kanye’s ex girlfriend with the shaved head)- Two good looking black girls and I have to go with the one with hair.

(7) Adriana Lima over (10) Daisy Lowe- Lima used to date Derek Jeter and is now married to former NBA player Marko Jaric.

(2) Miranda Kerr over (15) Joan Smalls- Miranda Kerr is apparently one of the hot names in fashion because her name sounds vaguely familiar to me. Oh, and she’s hot.



Second Round

(8) Bar Rafaeli over (1) Brooklyn Decker- My cousin who will not be named is a big seller on Brooklyn Decker. Mainly for this picture. I’m not, but I’m a big buyer on Bar Rafaeli. If she’s good enough for Leonardo DiCaprio she’s good enough for me.

(4) Irina Shayk over (12) Gisele Bundchen- 1.) Fuck Tom Brady. And 2.) I saw Shayk on Letterman and not only was she absurdly hot she was also pretty funny.

(6) Izabel Goulart over (3) Selita Banks- She’s Brazilian, but could easily pass for an American. I dig that about her.

(7) Adriana Lima over (2) Miranda Kerr- Kerr is sexy, but I just don’t think she’s on Lima’s level just yet.



Regional Semi-Finals

(4) Irina Shayk over (8) Bar Rafaeli- As much as I love Leo, Shayk dates superstar soccer player Christiano Ronaldo, who’s arguably the most wanted man in the world.

(6) Izabel Goulart over (7) Adriana Lima- She’s one of Conan’s favorite guests and she’s also appeared on both Two And A Half Men and Entourage.

Regional Finals

(6) Izabel Goulart over (4) Irina Shayk- She has the sexiest eyes in the field…and I’m an eyes guy. Oh and Shayk doesn’t shave her legs.


Music & Sports (bottom right)

First Round

(1) Katy Perry over (16) Elin Nordegren- I don’t think Katy Perry is worthy of a #1 seed, but she’s sexier than Tiger’s ex-wife, who we haven’t seen for over a year.

(9) Caroline Wozniacki over (8) Maria Sharapova- One of my favorite first round matchups. I’ll take Wozniacki because she’s the better tennis player, she’s not taller than me (Sharapova is 6’2), and she’s not married to Sasha Vujacic.

(12) Cheryl Cole over (5) Taylor Swift- Taylor is unquestionably more talented and becoming sexier by the day (seemingly out of nowhere), but Cheryl Cole is hot.



(4) Erin Andrews over(13) Jenn Brown- You don’t even know hard this one is for me. Ask anyone that I work with and they’ll tell you that Jenn Brown is my girl, but she just can’t hang with EA.

(6) Stacy Kiebler over (11) Arianny Celeste- Kiebler has legs for days and WWE experience. Better luck next year Arianny.

(3) Beyonce over (14) Gwyneth Paltrow- This is the biggest rout in the entire tournament.

(7) Nicki Minaj over (10) Ines Sainz- Sainz wore a wedding dress to media day at the Superbowl and asked Tom Brady to marry and also complained that the Jets objectified her in the locker room. Bottom line- She’s annoying. Nicki Minaj, on the other hand, is hot and you get the sense that she doesn’t even care.

(2) Rihanna over (15) Gretchen Bleiler- Rihanna’s performance at the NBA All-Star game this year speaks for itself.

Second Round

(1) Katy Perry over (9) Caroline Wozniacki- Wozniacki is more pretty and innocent than sexy. Katy Perry has fireworks coming out of her breasts.

(4) Erin Andrews over (12) Cheryl Cole- Peephole video, anyone?

(3) Beyonce over (6) Stacy Kiebler- Beyonce is so out of control sexy that she made this Vizio commercial hot .



(2) Rihanna over (7) Nicki Minaj- Believe it or not I actually had this debate with 3-4 friends one day in January. The vote was pretty split, but I went with Rihanna.

Regional Semi-Finals

(4) Erin Andrews over (1) Katy Perry- Katy Perry tries to hard to be sexy. EA is sexy just by being herself. The whole working in sports thing helps her out quite a bit.

(3) Beyonce over (2) Rihanna- Speaking of sexy commercials. This one was banned in England.



Regional Finals

(3) Beyonce over Erin Andrews- What’s weird about Beyonce is that it’s almost like she’s getting hotter by the day. For example, I think her career low in sexiness was when she was in Austin Powers: Goldmember. Now she just exudes sex wherever she goes. Ever since the peephole thing and dating her Dancing With The Stars partner Erin Andrews has sort of had to scale it back a bit to maintain what’s left of her wholesome image.


Movies (Top Right)

First Round

(1) Mila Kunis over (16) Russell Brand- Did anyone laugh when they saw that Russell Brand made the tournament? Me either.

(9) Kristen Bell over (8) Jessica Alba- Jessica Alba probably would have won this tournament if it was held back in 2003, but she’s a mother now and she just looks more mature and reserved. I also want to give Kristen Bell some love for her role on one of the funniest and least known shows on TV Party Down, which is on Starz.

(12) Jennifer Lawrence over (5) Natalie Portman- Unfortunate timing for Portman. If this tournament was held 5 months ago I think she would have won. Now though, I just can’t find it within me to send a pregnant woman into the second round.

(13) Zoe Saldana over (4) Ashley Greene- Ashley Greene is very pretty, but Zoe Saldana made a big, blue avatar sexy.

(11) Anne Hathaway over (6) Gwyneth Paltrow- I still haven’t seen Love and Other Drugs, but apparently Anne Hathaway is naked for essentially the entire movie. I also don’t find Gwyneth Paltrow sexy in any way.

(3) Penelope Cruz over (14) Amanda Seyfried- Amanda Seyfried is a whacko with bug eyes and Penelope Cruz is a spicy latina.

(10) Megan Fox over (7) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley- You don’t know who Rosie Huntington-Whitely is? Yeah, I didn’t either. Apparently Esquire was getting cute because she’s taking over Megan Fox’s role in the Transformers saga.

(2) Olivia Wilde over (15) Amber Heard- Olivia Wilde is all the buzz right now, but I honestly couldn’t tell you where she’s from or what she’s on. All I know is that after looking through her pictures she’s one of a very small group of women that can pull of any color hair and still be absolutely gorgeous.

Second Round

(1) Mila Kunis over (9) Kristen Bell- She was by far the sexier of the two in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

(12) Jennifer Lawrence over (13) Zoe Saldana- Umm did you see her at the Oscars?



(3)Penelope Cruz over (11) Anne Hathaway- She had a mental breakdown a few years back which just tells you that she’s absolutely wild in bed.

(10) Megan Fox over (2) Olivia Wilde- As overrated as she’s probably become, she’s still really hot.



Regional Semi-Finals

(1) Mila Kunis over (12) Jennifer Lawrence- She finally broke up with Macaulay Culkin which was the only thing holding her back.

(3) Penelope Cruz over (10) Megan Fox- Just look how great Penelope Cruz looked roughly one month after giving birth.



Regional Finals

(1) Mila Kunis over (3) Penelope Cruz- There’s just a mystique around Mila right now that’s hard to describe. Her sex scene with Natalie Portman in Black Swan certainly helps her case as well.


Television (Bottom Right)

(1) Sofia Vergara over (16) Hoda & Kathie Lee- Should I know who Hoda is?

(8) Those girls on Glee over (9) Grace Park- The girls from Glee are really hot. This team can do some serious damage.

(12) Sarah Shahi over (5) Jennifer Lopez- It’s not 1999 anymore J Lo.

(4) January Jones over (13) Jessica Pare- Betty Draper you little minx, you.

(6) Emmy Rossum over (11) Kendra Wilkinson- If you don’t watch the show Shameless on Showtime you are borderline missing out. Emmy Rossum wears zero makeup and is unbelievably attractive.

(14) Lana from Archer over (3) Christina Hendricks- Christina Hendricks has nice curves. I wont dispute that. She is, however, vastly overrated. She’s pale and deceptively old (turns 36 in May). Lana from Archer is actually the very good looking black girl who used to host Talk Soup on E!. Her real name is Aisha Tyler.



(7) Padma Lakshmi over (10) Katrina Bowden- Padmi is a bona fide sex symbol. I’ve never heard of this Katrina Bowden chick.

(2) Kim Kardashian over (15) Bristol Palin- Seriously?

Second Round

(8) Those girls on Glee over (1) Sofia Vergara- Don’t get me wrong I love Gloria on Modern Family, but the quantity of high quality hot chicks on Glee is tough for one woman to compete with.





(4) January Jones over (12) Sarah Shahi- She’s the best part of the month.



(6) Emmy Rossum over (14) Lana from Archer- Did I mention that she gets naked on Shameless roughly every other episode?

(7) Padma Lakshmi over (2) Kim Kardashian- Classy versus trashy.

Regional Semi-finals

(8) Those girls from Glee over (4) January Jones- January Jones is almost hot enough to take down 4 hot girls, but I can’t stand her character on Mad Men.

(7) Padma Lakshmi over (6) Emmy Rossum- Padma was rocking a bikini on last night’s episode of Top Chef and she looked unreal.

Regional Finals

(7) Padma Lakshmi over (8) Those girls from Glee- She might be the sexiest 40 year old on the planet.


Final Four

(6) Izabel Goulart over (3) Beyonce- Probably the top 2, but I’ll take the former Victoria’s Secret Angel who's also 3 years younger.



(7) Padma Lakshmi over (1) Mila Kunis- Not only is she a former model, but she’s also an amazing cook.

Finals
(6) Izabel Goulart over (7) Padma Lakshmi- I admittedly hardly knew who she was until a few minutes ago, but to me she’s the sexiest woman of them all.

The Paul Davis Theory

In case you haven't noticed, the regular season in college basketball is rather meaningless. Games don't have enough importance to get casual fans to pay attention. There's just no urgency. One of the drawbacks of college basketball is that there's too much turnover. The best players don't stay in school long enough for fans to familiarize themselves with them. This constant influx of new, top tier talent makes the sport a bit difficult to follow. That said, there is a phenomenon in college basketball that I don't think has been appropriately named.

As the casual basketball fans start to watch more games in the next few weeks they will notice players that they remember from last year and maybe even the year before that. Every once in a while, though, they will feel as if they remember a player from what seems like a decade ago. Some players, for whatever reason, just seem like they've been at the same school for 5-7 years. The poster child for this phenomenon, in my eyes anyway, is former Michigan State center Paul Davis.



Throughout the course of Davis' college career at Michigan State (2002-06) he played with the likes of Aloysious Anagonye (who played on the 2000 National Championship team with Mateen Cleaves, Morris Peterson, etc.), Chris Hill, Kevin Torbert, Alan Anderson, Maurice Ager, Drew Neitzel, Shannon Brown, Travis Walton, and Goran Suton (who was the starting center on the 2009 team that lost in the finals to North Carolina). These names should remind most college basketball fans of a number of different Michigan State teams. Knowing that Davis played with all of them, to me, is mind blowing. Seemingly there's no explanation for this phenomenon, but I think that there are actually plenty of factors at play here.

- These players are usually good, but not great. They are regionally known, but largely an afterthought nationally.

- This sort of ties in with the first factor, but these players are usually both easily forgettable and easily memorable.

- The players that come to mind first are usually white, but white players only make up roughly half of the entire pool of players that qualify.

- These players usually go it alone. By that I mean that there isn't another notable player from their recruiting class that's still at the school. Due to this rule, players like Chris Wright and Austin Freeman don't qualify. Another example would be Andre Barrett, who seemed like he was at Seton Hall for 8 years, even though fellow classmate Eddie Griffin left early. Barrett isn't eligible because Marcus Toney-El was also a member of that recruiting class and a four year starter.

- These players are usually former starters that for some reason or another get relegated to the bench (ex- Greg Paulus).

- A number of these players have been granted another year of eligibility, or simply missed a significant amount of time, due to an injury.

-A select few qualify even after only 3 years in college. (ex- Casey Jacobsen)


Official definition

The Paul Davis Theory refers to a men's college basketball player that seems to have been playing at their given school for upwards of 5 seasons. They are good, but not great players who are both memorable and forgettable at the same time. Their perceived longer than normal stay in college is usually due to an extra year of eligibilty because of an injury after they have established themselves.


Players that have qualified for The Paul Davis Theory (I'm sure I left off dozens, if not hundreds, of others)

-Jeff Adrien, Connecticut-

-Rashad Anderson, Connecticut-

-Jonathan Brockman, Washington-

-Brian Butch, Wisconsin-

-Ed Cota, North Carolina-

-Paul Davis, Michigan State-

-Travis Diener, Marquette-

-Joey Dorsey, Memphis-

-Chris Duhon, Duke-

-Jason Gardner, Arizona-

-Ryan Gomes, Providence-

-A.J. Guyton, Indiana-

-Luke Harangody, Notre Dame-

-Casey Jacobsen, Stanford-

-Jason Kapono, UCLA-

-Brandon Knight, Pittsburgh-

-Sasha Kaun, Kansas-

-Raef LaFrentz, Kansas-

-Chris Lofton, Tennessee-

-Gerry McNamara, Syracuse-

-Steve Novak, Marquette-

-Greg Paulus, Duke-

-Terrence Oglesby, Clemson-

-Andy Rautins, Syracuse-

-Scottie Reynolds, Villanova-

-Ty Shine, Seton Hall-

-Craig Smith, Boston College-

-Darius Songaila, Wake Forest-

-Edgar Sosa, Louisville-

-Chris Thomas, Notre Dame-

-Jake Voskuhl, Connecticut-


My 2011 nominees for The Paul Davis Theory

-Joe Mazzulla, West Virgina point guard-



Mazzulla was instrumental in West Virginia's (10) over (2) upset of Duke in the 2008 NCAA Tournament. Seven games into the following season (his junior year) he fractured the growth plate in his left shoulder and missed the remainder of the season, but was given a medical red shirt. Last season he came off the bench as Da'Sean Butler, Devin Ebanks, and Daryl "Truck" Bryant stole the Mountaineer headlines. This year he's back again and until about two weeks ago, I had no idea.

-Brady Morningstar, Kansas shooting guard-



Morningstar played as a freshman in 2006-07, but then redshirted in '07-'08 when Kansas won the national championship. He then started every game and was second on the team in minutes played in '08-'09. Last season, though, Morningstar was relegated to the bench. This year he's back in the starting lineup on most nights (even when Tyshawn Taylor and Josh Selby are both playing), but until about a month ago I had no clue that he was back for another go round.


An early nominee for 2012

-Robbie Hummel, Purdue forward-



Hummel led the Boilermakers in rebounding and was second on the team in scoring as a freshman in 2007-08. He was then named the Big Ten Preseason Player of the Year heading into his sophomore year, but he had a disappointing year (only 3^rd on the team in scoring), but he was a team captain. As a junior he averaged 15.7 points and 6.9 rebounds per game for a Purdue team that at one point in the year was ranked #3 in the nation. Unfortunately Hummel tore his ACL last February and missed the remainder of his junior campaign. Many thought that Hummel might forgo his senior year and enter his name into the NBA Draft, but he returned, rehabbed and was ready to go for his senior year, but tore the same ACL in an October practice. He has missed this entire year, but will be back for a 5^th year next season.