That all said, because it was recently my birthday I now have fresh perspective to rail against the Facebook birthday wall post. This is a topic I've touched on before. In fact, it made my inaugural Hate List. But I think it's now time to get a little more in depth.
As I wrote in my Hate List, I can't stand the "Happy bday {insert name here}" Facebook wall post. If you know someone well enough to write on their wall on their birthday then you should put a little thought into it and think of an inside joke of some sort. A buddy of mine from highschool actually wrote, "Happy birthday. Sorry, but I don't remember any of our inside jokes," on my wall last week. I thought it was hysterical. Mostly because he's done a few drugs in his day and I haven't seen him in years, so I wasn't the least bit surprised that he had forgotten any of our inside jokes. Quite frankly, I appreciated his honesty.
If you can't think of anything clever to say and haven't seen or talked to whoever's birthday it is in a while it's totally legit to just let them know that. One of my go to's is, "Happy birthday {insert name here}! It's been forever since we've seen each other, but I hope all is well. Have a good one." Ironically one of my friends can't stand the phrase, "I hope all is well," so I've been trying to avoid using it, but I still use it quite a bit.
Now, why should you put a little thought into a birthday wall post instead of just writing "Happy bday {insert name here}" and getting on with your day? Well, because it goes a long way. People are more likely to appreciate and/or remember your well wishes if you put a little thought into it. Also, don't you want people to put a little thought into crafting you a birthday message?
About a month or so ago my buddy Kyle Korver actually said something to the effect of, "I appreciate how you always write more than just a simple happy bday on people's walls," and it wasn't his birthday. He just noticed it.
Don't get me wrong, writing the standard "Happy bday {insert name here}" is still a nice gesture. Obviously it's better than nothing and/or a Facebook message, which is almost always a little creepy. Maybe I'm just a little more selective in who's walls I write on. I imagine some people write on everyone of their "friends" walls on their bdays and in that instance I guess I can understand a few simple "Happy bday {insert name here}" posts, but I think I'm a little more of a realist. I'm not actually friends with all of the people that I'm "friends" with on Facebook.
Another aspect of the Facebook birthday wall post is when you share your birthday with a number of "friends". What's the protocal there? I think a lot of people pretend like they aren't periodically checking their Facebook on their birthday until the inevitable "Thanks for all the bday wishes" post (more on this in a bit), so they don't like to be the first one to crack when it comes to writing on someone's wall that they share a birthday with. Also, what if you aren't actually friends with someone that you share a birthday with? Say they're a friend of a friend that you met once or twice and you just happen to have the same birthday. You still have to wish them a happy birthday, right? On a semi-related note, I also suspect that people are more prone to write a happy bday message on someone's wall in the days leading up to their birthday. Basically the thought process there is essentially, if I write on his/her wall they'll write on mine in a few days when it's my birthday.
Now let's get to the "Thank you for all the birthday wishes" post. Is it necessary? I had a conversation with my buddy Mad Max about it 4-5 months ago and I argued that it was the dumbest thing ever and largely unnecessary. Max couldn't have disagreed more. He said that if you don't thank people for wishing you a happy birthday that you come of as arrogant, self-entitled, and unappreciative. He broke down his point by saying, "Let's say you have a party and I show up and say, "Happy birthday Dan! So great to see you." What do you say? You say thank you, right?" Basically Max owned me in that argument, so for the first year ever I wrote a "Thank you for the birthday wishes" post, but, of course, I had to get clever with it. At about 10pm on the 25th anniversary of my birth I wrote, "Friends, family, and people I randomly met one night in college or otherwise- Thank you for making my 25th birthday both an enjoyable and memorable one." Not that clever, I know.
So if there's one takeaway from this rather innocuous post it's this. Give a little thought before writing on someone's Facebook wall on their birthday.
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