Don't Take Credit for That

I went to the bank on Monday to cash some fantasy football checks (thankfully the teller didn’t ask me about it) and to change the address on my account. Evidently I had already changed the address on my account online, but that didn’t stop the woman at the bank from acting surprised and telling me that I was pre-approved for a credit card with all sorts of rewards. My reply in short? Thanks, but no thanks. I’m 26 and a half years old (today’s my half birthday- thanks for the Facebook posts) and I do not possess a credit card. This may shock some of you, but I’m actually pretty proud of it.

I have a debit card which I got when I first set up my account in the summer of 2004 (what up graduation party money?). It swipes as a credit card when I need it to and the money automatically comes directly out of my checking account. I, to this day, do not see the need to get a credit card. I’ve thrown out the hundreds of envelopes from various companies trying to get me to sign up without even blinking. In fact, I’ve never seriously considered getting one. If someone could convince me otherwise I’m all ears, but I’ve yet to hear an argument about why I should have one.

Last year I went to the bank to get more checks and the woman assigned to help me was being trained that day, so some joker came over to show her how it’s done, so to speak. This guy pulled out all the stops in an attempt to impress the woman he was training. He must have thought it was a slam dunk, but boy was he wrong.

His arguments about why I needed to sign up for a credit card (he actually tried to convince me to get two, but I’ll keep it simple) went as follows. 1.) You have to get a credit card so that you can build good credit. There may be something to this, but only if you eventually cave and get a credit card. Why do I need to build good credit when I don’t plan on getting a credit card? Plus, I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that I’m building good credit by paying my student loans, car payments, and bills on time.

2.) You get a lot of cool stuff. Do you want to know what else you get? Another bill every month. Besides, I don’t need cool stuff. I’m not a 13-year-old. If I want something bad enough I’ll buy it right then and there or save up until I can afford it.

3.) A credit card is good to have in case of an emergency. This dude wouldn’t let this one go. He must have asked me what I would do in case of an emergency about 6 times. First of all, I don’t know who he thought I was, but I don’t anticipate having to pay anyone any ransom money. Secondly, I have a savings account, money invested in the stock market (my dad is a stockbroker), and a healthy wad of cash stored away in my house. I’m pretty well equipped “in case of an emergency”, so I think I’ll be ok. Lastly, if people rely on a credit card in the event of an emergency won’t that just delay their issue and then ultimately make things worse with the interest? Isn’t that how credit card companies make money?

My anti-credit card stance is very similar to my anti-iPad stance. I don’t understand why having an iPad is so necessary? As far as I’m concerned people only get iPads so that they can tell people that they have them and so that their emails say “Sent from my iPad”. Again, if anything can convince me otherwise I’m all ears, but what does an iPad do that my laptop can’t? It’s smaller? Ok. Is that it? I’ll wait patiently for all of the emails sent from your iPads.


Here are my Week 2 NFL picks

Chicago +6 @ Green Bay- Jay Cutler has quickly become one of my favorite players in the NFL. Arrogance is one of favorite qualities in athletes and he has plenty of it. After Chicago’s Week 1 win over the Colts he told all of the dumb Pollock’s with no future who get wrecked and go to Soldier Field to cheer him on to shut up when they have the ball in the redzone. Then on Tuesday he had a message for the Green Bay secondary, “Good luck.” Green Bay wins, but the Bears keep it close. at

Giants -7 vs. Bucs- 1.) The Giants are going to play angry after losing last Wednesday (at least I hope they do) 2.) Victor Cruz is going to salsa dance all over the Tampa Bay secondary in honor of his grandmother, who was the inspiration for the dance and passed away this week. 3.) No one’s buying the Bucs, are they?

at Patriots -14 vs. Cardinals- I think the Cardinals are undervalued nationally (John Skelton is now 7-2 as a starting quarterback in the NFL- I know Kolb engineered the game winning drive and will start this week. Shut up.), but they’re no match for the Pats at home. The Patriots revamped defense held Chris Johnson to 4 yards on 11 carries in Nashville. How do you think the Ryan Williams/Beanie Wells two headed piece of shit is going to do?

at Colts +1.5 vs. Vikings- Minnesota had to go to overtime to beat the Jaguars at home and they’re road favorites? Where am I? After enduring a plethora of horrible “bad Luck” puns on Sunday I’m mildly intrigued to see what drivel the headline writers and sportscasters can up with after the Colts win. My guess? A big day from Donald Brown and a headline of “No Luck Needed”. Actually, who am I kidding? People were still praising Luck after his 3 INT debut. After the year and a half plus of slobbing on his knob the media refuses to critique him at all.

Saints -3 @ Panthers- I’m still waiting for the “Fuck Goodell” game from New Orleans and I’m hoping that they right the ship and put it together this week against an overrated Panthers team.

Chiefs +3 @ Bills- The Chiefs got smoked at home by the Falcons in Week 1, but it was close in the 3rd quarter and they were without their top CB (Drayton Florence) and their best past rusher (Tamba Hali). I expect them to play significantly better against a Bills team that looked dreadful in Week 1 and will now be without Fred Jackson and their #2 WR David Nelson.

Ravens +2 @ Eagles- Pretty simple here. The Ravens looked great in Week 1 and the Eagles looked bad. I’ll take the two points and hope that their respective Week 1 performances were telling.

Raiders -2.5 @ Dolphins- This is definitely a winnable game for the Dolphins, but I think that they’re the worst team in the NFL. The whole west coast team traveling to the east coast on a short week should send me running for the hills, but Miami is badddd.

at Bengals -7 vs. Browns- The Bengals got rocked by the Ravens, but BenJarvus Green-Ellis and the rest of the offense showed plenty of promise. The Browns offense, on the other hand, looked largely inept against the Eagles. This is probably very common, but I like how the teams that beat these two are playing each other in Week 2 as well.

Texans -7 @ Jaguars- In case you’re keeping track at home, this is the third road favorite that I’ve picked. I’m bucking all sorts of betting trends right now, but I don’t care. Houston’s defense is going to blitz the fuck out of Blaine Gabbert and Arian Foster/Ben Tate are going to run all over Jacksonville’s defense.

at Seahawks +3 vs. Cowboys- The last time the Cowboys played in Seattle was the infamous 2006 playoff game where Tony Romo botched the snap on what would have been the game winning field goal. I like Romo, but I think he’s got plenty of cobwebs in his brain and might try to force the issue a little bit this weekend. When he does the birds will be there to take advantage. Seattle sent ¾ of their secondary to the Pro Bowl last year.

at Rams +3.5 vs. Redskins- Everyone’s falling in love with Robert Griffin III after his Week 1 performance against the Saints in New Orleans. In fact, it’s only been a few days, but the coverage is excessive. They’re even trying to force this issue and turn this “Griffining” thing into what “Tebowing” was last year. Just stop it already. Take the points and hope that Jeff Fisher gets it done at home.

at Steelers -5.5 vs. Jets- This number is a little high for my liking, but I’m still bitter about what the Jets pulled off in their opener. Pittsburgh gets Ryan Clark and potentially James Harrison back, so I highly doubt that Mark Sanchez will be lighting up the scoreboard again. Pittsburgh 24, New York 13.

at Chargers -6 vs. Titans- If you can give me a reason to have faith in the Titans this weekend other than the return of Kenny Britt, which I think will be inconsequential, I’d like to hear it.

Lions +7 @ 49ers- The post game handshake is going to be more thoroughly scrutinized than the game itself. I won’t lie, though. The 49ers really impressed me last week. I just can’t lay 7 points to a team with an explosive offense like the Lions.

Broncos +3 at Falcons- Matt Ryan may have better weapons, the home crowd, and a more limber neck, but Peyton Manning has moxie.


Last week- 8-8
Season- 8-8