NFL Picks- Week 3

No time for a long, unneccessary intro this week. I had an idea in mind, but I'm going to let it marinate for a week. Here are my Week 3 NFL picks...

Giants -1.5 at Panthers- Two things. 1.) Fuck Greg Schiano. 2.) The G-Men are playing without their starting left tackle, #1 running back, and their #1 and #3 wide receivers, but I still have to go with them after the resilience that Eli showed on Sunday.

Rams +7.5 at Bears- The Bears are the better team and they’ll win without Matt Forte, but I just hope that it’s close late and Jay Cutler explodes on his offensive line on the sidelines. I’m still a Cutler apologist, but even I have to admit that 4 of the 7 sacks that he surrendered last Thursday were his fault. My man needs to get rid of the ball.

at Cowboys -8 vs. Bucs- Eli torched the Bucs secondary for over 500 yards and I expect Romo to light it up as well. Someone needs to set Greg Schiano and the Bucs straight after that bullshit that they pulled on Sunday and I hope that the Cowboys are the ones to do it.

49ers -7 at Vikings- In just two weeks the 49ers have proven that last year was no fluke and that they’re the best team in the NFL. I’ve picked against them twice and will not make the same mistake this time around.

Lions -4 at Titans- In the battle for 1st/2nd round fantasy picks that are the most due I’ll take Matthew Stafford over Chris Johnson, who this week thought it was necessary to blame everyone except himself for his poor play so far this season.

at Redskins -3 vs. Bengals- Home teams went 11-4-1 against the spread last week, so when in doubt I’m leaning that way.

Jets -2 at Dolphins- Reggie Bush ran all over the Raiders, but he’s not going to have a hole any bigger than his ex girlfriend Kim Kardashian’s vagina this week against the Jets. I like New York in a rout.

at Saints -8.5 vs. Chiefs- I’ve picked these dogshit teams in both weeks and they fucked me over. When in doubt go with the home team.

Bills -3 at Browns- C.J. Spiller and Trent Richardson both broke out last week, but I’ll go with Firing Fitzy over Brandon Weeden. If the Bills have any hope of living up to their lofty preseason expectations (Playoffs?!?) then they need to take care of business on the road in Cleveland.

at Colts -3 vs. Jaguars- I could waste 2-3 minutes thinking of a mediocre pun involving the last name of Indianapolis’ quarterback or I could just say that I might pick against Jacksonville every week this season.

at Cardinals +3.5 vs. Eagles- Revenge for Kevin Kolb! Seriously though, the Cardinals are the hottest team in football (they’ve won 9 of their last 11 games) and they’re getting points at home.

at Chargers -3 vs. Falcons- Definitely the hardest game on the board to pick, but I think that the Falcons are due for a dud and that the Chargers will get a boost from having Ryan Mathews and Antonio Gates on the field this week.

at Broncos +2 vs. Texans- After his horrendous 1st quarter on Monday Night I think Peyton Manning will have a statement game against one of the AFC favorites.

at Raiders +4 vs. Steelers- The Raiders get off the schneid at home because the Steelers will be without Troy Polamalu and James Harrison.

Patriots +2 at Ravens- Baltimore is going to be all jacked up after last year's loss in the AFC Championship Game, but I think the Patriots are the more desperate team. The Pats win outright on the big stage of Sunday Night Football. Speaking of which, how hot is Faith Hill? Her little ditty every Sunday, despite the fact that she rhymes NBC twice in the span of 3 lines, is like an instant erection for 65% of the male population.

at Seahawks +3.5 vs. Packers- The Packers have been a little off so far this year, Seattle is a crazy environment, the Seahawk secondary had 3 Pro Bowlers last year, and when in doubt take the home dog.

Last week- 7-8-1
Season- 15-16-1