Say What? Karaoke

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-karaoke-songs-for-guys.html

First and foremost I would like to apologize for whatever connection I just made to the former MTV hit show and it's lard infested troll of a host Dave Holmes for the title that I chose for this post. The mere thought and subsequent mental image of that grotesque chunker is not the sort of appeal that I aim to promote and for that I express my sincerest apology.

Now when it comes to Karaoke, one's song selection is about 75% of the battle. It is crucial to pick a song that the majority of your audience is familiar with. Most of them should be able to sing the chorus and be impressed by the fact that you know the words in all of the verses. Keep in mind that this 'advice' is coming from someone that once performed a duet to "Suspicious Minds" by Elvis with a man who's voice box was more battered than Jenna Jameson's vagina.

That being said, let's break down ask men's top 10.

10.) Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen- My only problem with this song being on the list is that it's at #10 and not #1. It reminds me of the time that one of my friends wore an American Flag to a bar (this was by no means an isolated incident). A patron that was standing next to me asked, "Why is your friend wearing the American flag?" To which I naturally replied, "Why aren't you?"

9.) You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC- Definitely a very good song, and worthy of being on this list, but I can definitely see some creep show picking this song and staring directly at a foxy broad the entire time he is on stage.

8.) (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones- A perfect song to choose if you're looking to to pick up the 46 year old tattooed biker chick sitting at the bar wearing a leather vest and a skull necklace. Don't get me wrong, it's a classic song, but I think it's run is over. It's kind of like the athlete that won't retire, or that was great for a while and now their career is over, but they continue to play because of who they once were. ( Ex- Ken Griffey Jr)

7.) Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond- Never in American history have we celebrated pedophilia so enthusiastically. In a 2007 interview, Neil Diamond admitted that he wrote the song about Caroline Kennedy (JFK's daughter). She was 11 at the time of its release. "Touching you, touching me" What a sick fuck.

6.) Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi- This is one of those songs that you would pick if you had a below average voice, great stage presence, and were going for crowd participation points, which is why its right up my alley. In fact, I'd probably be doing the Happy Gilmore dance with the microphone cord in between my legs for the first 45 seconds.

5.) Sweet Home Alabame by Lynyrd Skynard- For those of you that don't know, and I'm assuming that it's a bunch of you, Lynyrd Skynrd is the name of a band- not a person. In fact, they named the band after their gym teacher Leonard Skinner who wouldn't allow them to have long hair, which reminds me of another quasi-famous gym teacher. Mr. Heyman.




In regards to the song. I think it's overplayed and overdone. The only redeeming quality for me is in the beginning when they say "turn it up".

4.) Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks- Now this is a classic karaoke tune because it's really all about getting sloshed with your asshole friends, which quite frankly, is what most people do at karaoke bars.

3.) Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel- A great song, but I'm not so sure how I feel about it cracking the top 3, let alone the top 10. This is a fringe karaoke song for me, but I think enough people are familiar enough with the lyrics to pull it off.

2.) Don't Stop Believing by Journey- It's not necessary to fade to black after this one, because most people that give it a go are well into their blackouts. This really is a great pick though, because it's slow enough to get the crowd involved and most people think they know all the words.

1.) Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf- Had this song not been #1, I would have said that it was the most underrated Karaoke song out there for the members of the PEN 15 club. I should admit that I'm a little partial to this song because a handful of my friends call me "the wild man", but only because of what Svedka does to me.



Now all in all, this top 10 wasn't too bad, but they left off two absolute gems. The first of which needs no explanation.

I'm a Real American by Rick Derringer



The second of course being, We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel. Think about it. Everyone knows the chorus, but nobody in their right mind knows the verses. Now I have made a commitment to memorize the entire song and so far I am doing quite well.


Thanks to Greg in Trumbull, CT for the link. (For those of you that know him, yes, he is still alive and well)