Leading Role: Ben Stiller

It’s time to unveil The Shampoo Effect's newest feature. It is tentatively being called “Leading Role”. Not that catchy, I know, but what does this new feature entail?

Plenty of Actors and Actresses have compiled impressive resumes, but sometimes it's hard to determine which role is their finest. For the sake of argument, let’s say that every actor or actress chosen for “Leading Role” decides to pull a Joaquin Phoenix and abruptly walks away from the movie business. Our goal then is to decide which of their performances would be considered their magnum opus. I will nominate and review what I deem to be an actor or actress’ 4-5 best roles and then you can vote for whichever one you think is their best.

After that little introduction I think it would only be appropriate to start with Joaquin Phoenix; however I think it’s pretty clear that his role as Johnny Cash in Walk the Line (2005) was his finest. Let’s instead start with Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller)’s other son; Ben Stiller.

The nominees are:

1.) Derek Zoolander in Zoolander (2001)- In this role Stiller plays a male supermodel who after falling from the top of his industry is selected by a fashion mogul to assassinate a foreign dignitary.

Most Memorable Lines:

Matilda: I was, Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?

Derek Zoolander: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman."

Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?

Derek Zoolander: I think I'm getting the Black Lung, Pop.

Hansel: Excuse me, bra.
Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra.

Synopsis: Maybe it's because he teamed with Owen Wilson, Will Ferrel, and his wife Christine Taylor (who I have a bigtime crush on by the way), but I think this is Stiller's best performance. While most of his characters rely on awkwardness to provide humor, Zoolander's dim-wittedness produces the same result. Everything about this character from his inability to turn left to the gasoline fight and corrresponding eulogy is great.


2.) Tony Perkis in Heavyweights (1995)- In this film (fun fact- Judd Apatow was one of the two writers) Stiller plays the role of an ex-fitness instructor, who's methods (The Perkisystem) don't work, that runs a summer camp for overweight kids only to see them rebel against him.

Most Memorable Lines:

Tony Perkis: [on the PA] Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it...

Tony Perkis: Congratulations Mr. Sims, you are the fattest boy in camp.


Synopsis: Heavyweights is a very underrated movie. I loved it as a 9 year old, loved it as a 16 year old, and loved it as a 21 year old. Tony Perkis, in case you haven’t pieced it together yet, is clearly the prelude to the more well known White Goodman. Perkis was very good, but Stiller definitely fine tuned the character and made Goodman even better. If you buy into this train of thought (and you should), than Perkis can’t be Stiller’s best.


3.) White Goodman in Dodgeball (2004)- In this film Stiller plays the owner of a corporate workout facility, named Globo Gym, that enters his minions into a dodgeball tournament to complete the acquisition of a neighboring local gym.

Most Memorable Lines:



White Goodman: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood - nobody!

White Goodman: Hello, Katherine. Good to see you. I didn't know you were dropping by
Kate Veatch: You asked me to come over.
White Goodman: Did I?
Kate Veatch: Are you reading the dictionary?
White Goodman: You caught me. I like to break a mental sweat too.

Kate Veatch: That is a really interesting painting.
White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns.
It's how I handle my business….It's a metaphor.
Kate Veatch: I get it.
White Goodman: But that actually happened, though.

White Goodman: So, please, whatever you do, don't think of me as your boss.
Kate Veatch: I don't.
White Goodman: I don't want to get into a formal thing. I'm White, you know.
W-h-i-t…………E.
Kate Veatch: Thanks, Mr Goodman, but I don’t work for you. I'm contracted by the bank. They just assigned me to your account.
White Goodman: Right, well. You work for the bank. The bank works for me, so ipso fact, I'm your boss. Point is, I would love to see your pretty little bone structure around here some more. There's no reason we need to be shackled by the structures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back…..I'm just kidding. ….But seriously, I've got 'em.


Synopsis: Stiller pulls off the uptight, image conscious workout prick extremely well. White Goodman, for me anyway, is vintage Stiller. He has the same awkwardness when it comes to social interaction, but it's mixed with a sense of entitlement that causes him to demean others. As you can see, his encounters with Kate (played again by his wife Christine Taylor) provide some of the best lines from the entire movie.


4.) Greg Focker in Meet the Parents (2000)- In this film Stiller plays a male nurse who meets his girlfriend's parents before he proposes to her, but disaster seemingly looms every step of the way.

Most Memorable Lines:

[in the car listening to "Puff the Magic Dragon"]
Greg Focker: Who'd have thought it wasn't about a dragon.
Jack Byrnes: Huh?
Greg Focker: Well some people think that 'to puff the magic dragon' means to... puff... smoke... a marijuana cigarette.
Jack Byrnes: Puff is just the name of the boy's magical dragon... You a pothead, Focker?
Greg Focker: No, I pass on grass always. Well not always.
Jack Byrnes: Yes or no?
Greg Focker: No, um, yes, um...

Greg Focker: Oh, dear God, thank you, you are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating God, and we thank You oh sweet, sweet Lord of hosts for the smörgåsbord You have so aptly laid at our table this day, and each day, by day, day by day, by day oh dear Lord three things we pray to love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more clearly, to follow Thee more nearly, day, by day, by day. Amen.

Synopsis: Probably his most widely viewed film (only There's Something About Mary might have earned more at the box office), but I'm not sure it was his best. Simply put, Focker is just a relatively normal, albeit awkward, guy. While I don't think Focker is Stiller's best, he does deliver my personal favorite Stiller moment when he first meets his girlfriend's mom. He isn’t sure if he should hug her or give her a handshake and the awkwardness just seeps out of him. Now I’ll admit that is a difficult situation for many young men and women out where. Personally I think the adult should dictate the greeting by either extending a hand or opening their arms. Unfortunately this is rarely the case as most middle aged women are timid. This forces the young male to make a snap judgment on how to proceed with the greeting.


5.) Hal L. in Happy Gilmore (1996)- In this film, Stiller briefly appears as the orderly in a nursing home where the main character takes his grandmother to stay after she is evicted from her house.

Most Memorable Lines:





Synopsis: Arguably his greatest character, but the mere 5 minutes of screen time makes it hard to make the case that this is his best performance.


Apologies to his roles in There's Something About Mary (1998), Starsky and Hutch (2004), Along Came Polly (2004), and Tropic Thunder (2008).