Thursday, July 21, 2011

Turn Out the Lights

As an avid TV junkie I’m sad to report that we lost one of the best television shows going last Friday. After five seasons NBC’s Friday Night Lights came to a close. As disappointing as it is that the series is now over it’s amazing that it lasted as long as it did, especially if you consider that it started as a book then became a movie and was then adapted for television. Seriously, how many ideas are successful in all three formats?

I’ll be the first to admit that I was a Friday Night Lights doubter from day one. I didn’t enjoy the movie when I originally saw it in theaters (I liked it a lot better the 2nd time, but probably because of the TV show connections), sports related TV shows never work, and after watching five minutes of an early episode it just came across as the most overdramatized show in the history of television with all the last second finishes, etc. One of my college roommates was a big fan from the get go and I used to rip on him all the time for it (my apologies Kess).

However, throughout the course of the next few years I heard more and more positive reviews and decided to give the show a try mainly because I could watch the first two seasons online thanks to my Netflix account. It didn’t take long for me to get hooked. I soon started DVR’ing the new episodes and I watched all the way through the series finale.

Friday Night Lights probably won’t go down as one of the best television shows in history (it finally picked up an Emmy nomination for Best Drama Series), but I think it was wildly underrated and underappreciated.

Here are a handful of reasons why I think the show worked:

1.) It wasn’t about football- If you only watched the previews you would think that the show was mainly about a football team and their games every week, but in reality the football itself was largely secondary. In most episodes football scenes were limited to 5-6 minutes at max. The show was really about the football loving town of Dillon, Texas and the Taylor family’s participation in it. It was about relationships, growing up, getting back on the right track, learning through failure, worrying about your future, and family.

For example, the coach/quarterback relationship was amplified because the quarterback dated the coach’s daughter. Things like that made the plot more about real life as opposed to just football.

2.) There were likeable, flawed characters-

Eric Taylor- One of the reasons I decided to give the show a try (aside from the added level of convenience provided by Netflix) was because of Kyle Chandler, who played the main character and head football coach Eric Taylor. I have enjoyed Taylor’s work ever since he played the lead character, Gary Hobson, on CBS’ Early Edition. That was one of the first night time dramas that I ever watched. On the show Chandler’s character ran a bar in Chicago and got tomorrow’s newspaper today, so he would spend most of his time helping people avoid tragedies, etc.

On Friday Night Lights Chandler was the young, upstart coach who was considered an offensive mastermind (another reason I took to his character). He also served as the moral majority for his family, his football players, and sometimes even the town. He always knew what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. That said, he was nothing without his wife, Tami.



Tami Taylor- Connie Britton, who played Michael J. Fox’s initial love interest on Spin City before Heather Locklear showed up, was one of the few carry overs from the movie (the man who played Buddy Garrity is another). She played opposite Billy Bob Thornton in the film, but her chemistry with Chandler was off the charts. On the show she played a guidance counselor turned principal turned back to guidance counselor and she largely served those roles outside of her job. Tami Taylor was always helping kids get in college, work through problems at home, and she said “Ya’ll” about 4463837 times per episode. She was also sneaky hot. Her tangible connection with her husband drove the show. The way they made things work from problem to problem and hurdle to hurdle is probably one of the biggest takeaways from the show.

Tim Riggins



I would argue that Tim Riggins, played by Taylor Kitsch, is one of the greatest most well liked television characters of all time. Female viewers loved him because he’s a stud and male viewers loved him for his I don’t give a fuck attitude. He essentially just boozed his face off, dominated football games, and hooked up with any girl that he wanted to. He was also loyal to a fault, down to earth, and respectful. What I loved most about Riggins is that he referred to others by the number that they wore in football (“Last game 7.” “Seven’s back in town?”) and everytime he was at a party he said something to the effect of, “Let’s make some memories.” Let me be the first (probably not the first) and certainly not the last to say that it’s going to be very odd to see him play any other role in the future.

3.) Hot chicks- You can’t go wrong with eye candy and Friday Night Lights certainly didn’t disappoint. Aimee Teegarden, Adrianne Palicki, and Minka Kelly made the show a whole lot more aesthetically pleasing to watch.








4.) Theme music- If I’ve said it once I’ve said it 1000 times. Friday Night Lights had the best opening theme song of any television show that I’ve ever seen. Basically the show would just start with a scene or two for 4-5 minutes, a level of drama would build, and then boom. Opening music. It got me every time.




5.) Not afraid to usher in a new class- Television shows about highschool always fall into the same trap. If they are successful, and that’s a big if, they go out of their way to avoid the logical progression of time. If the main characters are juniors in high school in Season 1 they should be in college by Season 3. Most shows don’t do this though because by Season 3 their stars are recognizable and have contributed significantly to the success of the show. They feel compelled to keep them around as long as possible because starting over is an incredibly leap of faith not to mention virtually unheard of.

The core group of characters on Friday Night Lights began Season 1 as sophomores in highschool. Season 4 began with a new core group of young actors and they gradually faded the old characters out of the plot. By sticking to a feasible timeline Friday Night Lights earned some major bonus points in my eyes. It should be noted that I think they were able to do this because, like I’ve said, the relationship between Eric and Tami Taylor is what drove the show.


While those points all contributed to the show’s success there must be a reason why the show was cancelled. What led to Friday Night Lights’ downfall?

1.) To be blunt, nobody watched. I think NBC made a big mistake by feeling obligated to air the show on Friday nights just because of the show’s name. No one, with a life, watches television on Friday nights. In that respect, this show was almost set up to fail from the get go. I would contend that if the show aired on Tuesday or Wednesday it would almost certainly be preparing for Season 6.

2.) The show was incredibly dramatic. If you were a fan of the show you almost took it with a grain of salt. You knew going into it that certain plot lines, game highlights, etc. would be wayyy over the top, but the good far outweighed the bad. That said, I think the Dillon Panthers and West Dillon Lions combined for about 32 last second wins over the course of 5 seasons.

3.) Some of the plot lines were just brutal. For example: Landry and Tyra killing that guy in Season 2. Jason Street trying to become an agent, flip houses, etc.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

ESPYs Recap

Every year my buddy Frank over at The Pop Culture Initiative live blogs all of the major awards shows like The Emmys and The Oscars on Facebook (He also does it for the MTV Video Music Awards, but don't hold it against him). Now I'll admit that Frank knows more than I do about movies, television, and whatever the VMA's give out awards for nowadays (I usually contribute a few dumb comments to his award show blogs), but there's no question that I know a lot more about sports, so I figured it was only right that I live blogged (well retro diaried, I guess) the ESPYs, which, in case you missed them, aired last night. ESPN will probably re-run them 10-15 times in the next week, so if this post makes you want to see them (it shouldn't) you can catch up.

It should be noted that the very concept of the ESPYs is patently absurd because athletes don't play their respective sports to win ESPYs. They play to win championships and awards handed out by their leagues. The Oscars make sense because there is no championship for actors to play for. But I digress...

Sadly I missed much of the two hour red carpet show as I was eating dinner, watching The O'Reilly Factor, etc, so below are my thoughts as I watched (sparingly from 8:34 to 9 and then from 9 straight through until 11:30)the 19th annual ESPY Awards.


8:34- Erin Andrews interviewing Kevin Love and Blake Griffin. When she asks Blake what kind of dunk he wants to see Love do next year he promptly responds by saying, “I’m not entirely convinced that he can dunk.” Awesome.

8:53- Sweet Jesus. Jenn Brown looking amazing. Now I know why I got a text from my buddy Crib asking who the smoke was that was interviewing Cam Newton. Clearly he doesn’t read The Shampoo Effect or else he would have known all about Jenn Brown months ago.



8:54- Michelle Beadle tosses to Erin Andrews. Did anyone else feel the tension?

9:00- Steve Urkel version 2.0 is the front man of the ESPY’s house band.

9:02- I might vomit every time I see the DeSean Jackson punt return. And every time I see Shaun White.

9:04- Does anyone care about Zenyatta? I honestly don’t even know what the story is. Wake me up when she’s glue.

9:06- It’s opening monologue time. Also known as the only part of award shows worth watching. Show me something here Seth Myers.

9:13- I haven’t laughed yet

9:14- Amare Stoudemire looking as hood as ever.



9:17- A Barry Bonds joke falls flat. Seth Meyers, “Think about it, though.”

9:18- Tweet from @TheBillWalton- “Organizers of the ESPYs thought they had a bomb scare on their hands. Then they realized it was Seth Meyers’ opening act. #iamappalled”

9:19- Welcome to the ESPY’s. Meyers got me with this, “David Beckham had a baby with wife Victoria…8 pounds, 9 ounces…No word on what the baby weighed yet”

9:21- We almost got through the monologue without a Favre reference, but it wouldn’t be the ESPYs without one, right? I guess when you text photos of your dick you’re an easy target.

9:22- Jimmie Johnson and Emmanuelle Chriqui (Sloan from Entourage) to present the award for Best Breakthrough Athlete. Chriqui is perhaps the best example of a celebrity who’s known almost strictly as their character’s name. Seriously, how many people actually know her name? Other people in that category…

Kenny Powers (Danny McBride)
Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall)
House (Hugh Laurie)
Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell)
Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)

9:24- Blake Griffin wins and makes it official by saying, “Thank you Sloan,” as he accepts the award. In case anyone cares, Jose Bautista got hosed. With fans voting for the winners the ESPYs are more predictable than almost any award show going.

9:31- How does someone put up a graphic for Brooklyn Decker when the person on the screen isn’t Brooklyn Decker? How does this happen? She’s one of, if not the most, recognizable supermodels in the world.

9:34- Seth Myers announces that they've re-opened the Best Play category to include Abby Wambach’s goal against Brazil on Sunday, but somehow Serena Williams is nominated for Best Championship Performace for winning Wimbledon in 2010? She didn’t even make it to the quarterfinals this year. I guess you have to bend the rules to make the 175th ranked tennis player seem relevant.

9:43- Wait, Zenyatta is nominated for Best Upset for coming in second in a race? I’m so confused.

9:44- VCU wins Best Upset for knocking out #1 seed Kansas on the way to the Final Four. It’s the second year in a row that Kansas losing in the NCAA Tournament has led to a Best Upset nominee. Can we give Bill Self something for this?

9:55- Shaka Smart shows once again that he’s a class act. He just says all of the right things in front of the camera. His exit from VCU is imminent.

9:49- Urkel is back for Round 2. Nobody cares. Can we just play the Jimmy V speech already?

9:51- A parody of the Vancouver kissing couple with the dude from The League is painfully horrendous. His career peaked as a commentator for I Love the 90’s Part Deux.

9:55- Who writes the back and forths between presenters? When people try too hard to be funny it never is. Keep it simple. Even Justin Timberlake's piece was awful.

9:57- The Jimmer wins Best College Athlete and promptly hugs his smokehouse cheerleader girlfriend…who he’s never had sex with...

10:07- Matthew McConaughey doing a voice over for a black boxer who was wrongfully imprisoned. Was Morgan Freeman not available?

10:19- The Dewey Bozella story may be the takeaway of the night, especially the Cus Amato quote he dropped, “The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It's the same thing, fear, but it's what you do with it that matters.”

10:20- Butttt he went on to start his next sentence like this, “Everyday I axed myself…” Now unless this was a euphemism for cranking it (he was in jail for 30 years) I can’t let it slide. Why can’t black people say this word correctly?

10:26- Another Kenny Powers K-Swiss commercial. It looks like a good marketing campaign…until they incorporated Matt Cassel. I realize that K-Swiss is trying their best to sign athletes and they need to start with low level stars like Cassel, but come on. No one knows who he is.

10:29- Can we get a “Best Celebration” category next year just so Aaron Rodgers’ belt can take home some much deserved hardware? Other nominees: Jason Terry’s jet imitation, Kobe/Jeter’s fist, the Bruins bar tab, etc.

10:31- Where am I? What year is it? Dirk Nowitzki has an attractive black girlfriend? I assume she’s a Mavericks cheerleader?

10:34- Brooklyn Decker out to present Best Female athlete and boy did she bring it tonight



10:34- But I’m still a Marisa Miller guy


(photo from 2009 ESPYs)

10:35- Lindsay Vonn wins Best Female Athlete for the 2nd straight year and I can’t figure it out. She won a gold medal in the Olympics in 2010 and won Best Female Athlete in 2010. That’s good by me, but now she wins Best Female Athlete again in 2011? Can anyone tell me what she did this year? This is why female sports are a joke.

10:36- Vonn compounds the travesty by asking Justin Bieber to take a picture with her for her Facebook page. What he’s doing at the ESPYs I’ll never know. As my buddy Anthony wrote on Facebook earlier, “PLEASE tell me what the hell that little douche, Justin Bieber, has to with sports and has been on the espys longer than any athlete? He said he played soccer and basketball in grade school, I guess it makes sense to me now.” The kid does have a nice flow though.

10:37- In semi-related news Scott Van Pelt, SportsCenter staple and ESPN Radio host, has never been invited to the ESPYs. In fact, he tweeted earlier, “Guess my ESPY invite got lost in the mail again. Only 11 years in a row that’s happened. I need to print more clearly when giving address”

10:39- Serena Williams just broke the internet because her tits were popping out, but I think this picture is more impressive. Those curves defy the laws of physics.



10:48- Who had Jonah Hill being the first to curse at the ESPYs? Actually, better question. Who had Jonah Hill at the ESPYs?

10:52- Puhhhhhyahhhhhh…Puhhhhyahhh…The Eagles win Best Game for their Week 15 comeback against the Giants. Does anyone know how to spell vomit sounds?

11:01- The Anthony Robles story is amazing. If you missed it, it’s worth checking out. The kid has a million dollar smile and the best attitude on life ever. He really embodies Jimmy V’s message of never giving up.

11:13- 3 of the 5 nominees for Best Play are soccer? Beast mode should definitely win this award, but the fix is clearly in for the Abby Wambach goal.

11:14- A Scarlett Johanssen look-a-like butchers the pronunciation of Abby Wambach’s name.

11:22- I gotta be honest. I didn’t hate the Bieber/Danica shtick.

11:24- The Best Team nominees are revealed. What team doesn’t belong? Green Bay Packers, Dallas Mavericks, San Francisco Giants, Texas A&M women’s basketball team, Boston Bruins. I swear, the concerted effort to incorporate and promote female sports at the ESPYs couldn’t be more apparent.

11:25- The Dallas Mavericks win Best Team thanks largely to the “Fuck LeBron” vote.

11:26- Seth Myers sneaks in what sounds like a forced plug for the US Women's World Cup Final on Sunday.

11:27- Urkel’s band plays us out. What does it mean “to play us out?”



11:28- What happened to airing Jimmy V’s speech?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Hoping For an Answer

I’ll be totally honest with you. I’ve been absolutely captivated by the Women’s World Cup matches that involve the US National Team. The last 2 of them anyway. PS- I wouldn’t be caught dead watching the other matches. Maybe it’s because I’m a naïve soccer fan, but it seems like the difference between the men’s and women’s game is negligible. Again, I could be way off on that. For example, if a hardcore soccer fan said that the NBA and WNBA were similar I’d lose it. Either way, the product has been great, again specifically in the last two matches, because there has been this great sense of urgency. It’s win or go home and if you lose you don’t have another chance to get to where you were for 4 years.

Last Friday we were told that we had to discuss the Women’s World Cup at some point during the talk show that I was working on and the immediate reaction was, “Come onnn. Really? Why? No one cares.” That said, I was tasked with doing a little bit of research so that our host didn’t look like an idiot when we talked to a guy who is over in Germany following the team. So I dug up some info (the US loss to Sweden was their first ever loss in the group stage at the Women’s World Cup, Brazil beat the US team 4-0 in the 2007 semifinals and they have a girl on their squad named Marta who is thought to be the best in the world, etc.), thought up some questions, and went on with my day. So when I turned on my TV on Sunday and saw Bob Ley, Brandi Chastain, Mia Hamm, etc. previewing the match I stuck around and watched because I had invested a little bit of my time in learning about the event. I watched the entire match and boy am I glad that I did. The drama, momentum shifts, national pride, urgency, and late game heroics were enough to give me goosebumps. I almost didn’t believe it at the time, but that match was undoubtedly the story of the weekend which is saying something because arguably the most popular baseball player of all-time reached a legendary milestone 24 hours earlier.

Let the record show that if I ever had to take a penalty kick I’d either put the ball in the 27th row or fall over trying to kick the ball. Hell, I get real nervous taking penalty kicks in FIFA against my friends.

Now that the US Women’s team has beaten France and advanced to the finals I have a serious question for what I have to believe is my constantly diminishing female audience. When girls watch sports are they constantly checking out the guys on the field/court as opposed to actually watching and enjoying the game? I mean, I realize that girls, for the most part, don’t exactly know all of the rules to sports, but they still watch. This must be the reason why, right? If my female readers could respond via comment, text, email, etc. that would be greatly appreciated as I am genuinely curious.

I almost feel a little dumb for having never thought of it before, but the reverse situation has happened to me both today and on Sunday. My thoughts while watching the US Women’s National Team play go something like this…Wow, she could get it. Damn, she’s fast. We can’t lose to France/Brazil. Nice legs. Look at those eyes. She looks like a lesbian. Good pass. She’s a babe. That’s a huge bitch. I mean, if I had to put a percentage on it I'd say that 50% of me has watched as a male checking out good looking, athletic, American women, 25% of me has watched as an American rooting for the US National Team, 15% of me has watched as someone that works in sports talk radio, and 10% of has watched as someone who legitimately enjoys watching sports.

I think it’s only fair, especially with the World Cup Finals only a few days away, to rank the 5 hottest women on the US National Soccer Team.

5.) Ali Krieger



Krieger, who my cousin Colin has dibs on, scored the game winning penalty kick against Brazil and is the definition of sporty hot.


4.) Hope Solo



One of three players on the team with a pornstar name (Shannon Boxx, Stephanie Cox). Hope draws you in with those inviting eyes and to be honest I feel like she tries really hard to be attractive. She looks good with a pony tail, but not so good with her hair down. She gets the most pub because she’s the face of the team, but I think she’s still a little overrated. I also think she’d kick my ass, which could be a good thing.


3.) Carli Lloyd



Carli, who I can’t get enough of, turns 29 on Saturday and patrols the midfield for the US. She takes most of the free kicks and appears to be one of the team leaders. She’s very cute and has great (soccer) legs.


2.) Heather Mitts



I don’t think she’s seen the field in the World Cup, but I stumbled across her in compiling this list. She’s one of the older players on the roster and definitely one of the best looking. If she played a little more she’d probably be #1.


1.) Alex Morgan



I don’t there’s any debate that 22-year-old is the hottest member of the team. She is also a dynamic forward who popped her World Cup cherry with a goal against France today.


Honorable mention: Tobin Heath, Amy Rodriguez, and Lauren Cheney (only because she dates Philadelphia 76ers PG Jrue Holiday)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Back to Basics

Recently a friend of the blog suggested that I write something everyday. Now obviously 1.)she's clearly a big fan of my work and 2.) I don't have that kind of time, but if I did the posts would be very quick. I'm thinking that I might try it out for a month in the near future and see how it goess. We'll see. Either way, I tell you this because this might be my shortest blog post of all time. Think of it as a preview of what The Shampoo Effect will be almost everyday if I decide to make the leap from weekly to daily blogger (A huge step in the blogging game. For you drug enthusiasts out there, it's like going from weed to coke). Of course I would still provide a more in depth post roughly once a week, but that's neither here nor there.

As loyal readers will remember I have two daily calendars. One is a Jeopardy! calendar which helps wake up my mind everyday and the other is titled, "Do You Know Your Poo?" which puts my mind right back where it should be.

Wednesday July, 6th

The world'd longest documented human poo measured 26 feet and was produced by Michelle Hines in 2005 (so much for the notion that girls don't poop). Hines worked with a team of nutrionists and used a special plug the week before launch of this feat to prevent premature evacuation. The resulting poo was the same length as her entire colon and is almost an inch longer than the longest surviving poo.