1.) Folding- For the first 18 years of my life my mom did my laundry. I always assumed it was this daunting task that took forever. For that reason I was always very thankful that my mom took the time out of her day to wash my clothes. From the outside looking in it just didn’t seem like a task that I could handle by myself.
Now that I’ve done my own laundry for 6 of the past 7 years (my grandmother did my laundry for me during my senior year of college because I didn’t have a washer/dryer in my beach house) I’ve realized that the chore is actually incredibly simple. Yes, it’s time consuming, but you can get a lot done during the interim. You just have to be mindful of how long your clothes have been in the washer or dryer.
What really sucks about doing your own laundry is folding your clothes. As you remove your clothes from the dryer you assume that the task is done, but in reality it’s just getting started. While on the surface folding looks relatively easy and straightforward it’s not. It’s tedious, time consuming, and stressful. Some garments you fold, some you have to put on a hanger, others need to be ironed, socks need to be paired, etc.
It should be noted that I’m also terrible at folding clothes to fit into a backpack, suitcase, etc. I can fold clothes in half. That’s about it. Anything that involves multiple folds is out of my range.
2.) Canker sores- The worst, right? I literally have no idea how they form or where they come from , but canker sores are incredibly painful. Not in the sharp, biting sort of way. More in the annoyingly consistent while occasionally more irritable way. I don’t know how, but canker sores are completely debilitating. They consume your entire being and render you out of commission for their entire existence. Canker sores make it hard to think, eat, sleep, write award winning blog posts (yes, I’ve had one for about 4 days now- a canker sore), etc.
3.) When people leave their blinker on- Seriously though, are you going to turn here or not? I can’t figure out how this happens. First of all, when you turn your blinker on you can hear it when it blinks, right? That aside, it’s pretty hard to accidentally turn your blinker on, so at some point the culprit must have thought that they should turn and/or change lanes, but instead continued to go straight because most blinkers turn off once a turn is completed. I wish there was a way to communicate to these bonehead drivers. Speaking of which…
4.) When a car forces me to release from cruise control- I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with highway driving. I say this because I recently had to explain to my cousin what cruise control is. For the uninitiated, cruise control equipped cars allow the driver to accelerate to a desired speed where they can then click a button and the car will maintain that speed until the driver hits the brake pedal. I often use this feature only during long drives on the highway. In fact, when I was purchasing my new car in January the only requirement that my dad had was that the car had cruise control. If I found a brand new Ferrari for $100 my dad’s first question would have been, “Does it have cruise control?”
So the worst thing ever is when you have cruise control set at 77 miles per hour and a car in the speed lane doesn’t get over to the center or right lane in time and you have to hit the brake to release the cruise control before accelerating back to your desired speed and re-setting the cruise control.
It’s also pretty terrible when you and another car are taking turns passing one another the highway when you have cruise control. I wish there was a way to communicate the fact that you’re on cruise control to the other car. Sometimes I try to lift up my right knee so that they can see it to signify that I’m not pressing the gas pedal, but I don’t think the message is received very often.
I really think that in 10-15 years we’ll have a basic set of messages that we can send to other drivers. The horn has only gotten us so far. Maybe the driver’s side or passenger side windows could briefly turn opaque to show a set of 5-6 specific messages.
1.) You’re blinker is on
2.) I’m on cruise control, so this is all your fault.
3.) Go fuck yourself
4.) Turn that shitty music down
5.) I’m sorry. Totally my fault.
6.) Honk for me, Trucker.
5.) Girls that call their female friends their “lovers”- If I see one more Facebook status that says something to the effect of, ”Can’t wait to see my lovers tonight!” I’m going to snap.
6.) The PCMatic commercial-
I don’t think the word hate is strong enough for the way I feel about this commercial. I mean, I get that they are just trying to get viewers of this commercial to remember the name of their product/website, but saying PCMatic 12 times in the course of a minute? That’s just annoying. I can’t change the channel fast enough when I see it.
Also, the flawed logic (not to mention the horrendous acting) of the commercial bothers me greatly. Apparently this couple shares a car (“I need the car anyway”) with the license plate PCMATIC, but somehow the man has never heard of PCMATIC?
7.) The way Michelle from Bachelor Pad 2 said “Graham.”- She didn’t completely botch the name, but there was something different about the way that she said it. I still haven’t really put my finger on it, but something was definitely wrong.
See if you can help me out. Listen to the 1:44 mark.
It should be noted that I don’t hate either Michelle or Graham, but the way Michelle said Graham’s name bothered me enough not to root for them.
8.) Tattoos- They are unattractive and will look horrendous when you’re older. I don’t get the appeal. I understand when people get tattoos that serve as reminders of significant people or events (the loss of a friend, an armed service man or woman getting ink to remind themselves of their service), but Chinese symbols? Random quotes?
I’ve heard that tattoos are a racial issue, and they might very well be, but my counter argument to that would be Robert Swift and Chris Anderson.
Have I mentioned how much I'm going to miss the NBA season?
Lastly, if you’re going to get a tattoo just remember that the placement is of supreme importance. There are tasteful ways to do this. For the opposite of what to do please look no further than Stephon Marbury and Mike Tyson.
9.) My cell phone charger- I can’t go a day without having to charge my phone. It’s horrendous. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve gone down to my buddy’s apartment in NYC with my charger in my pocket.
All that said, I literally can’t imagine life without a smartphone these days. I got my first in December and it’s completely changed my life. Having the internet at your finger tips is incredible. I’ve also been so immersed in sports lately that I get most of my news from the USA Today app on my phone.
10.)How everything needs to be politically correct- Our society is wayyyyy too sensitive. The way that everything has to be done in said in ways to avoid offended anyone bothers me immensely. For example, two weeks ago New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (Gisele’s husband) was asked if he had a message for the team’s fans in advance of their home opener. The golden boy said, “Yeah, start drinking early. Get nice and rowdy. It's a 4:15 game, a lot of time to get lubed up. Come out here, and cheer for the home team.” A short while later the team released a statement which said that what Brady meant was “Be hydrated, drink a lot of water and drink responsibly.” Are we serious? Do you really think we're that dumb? What was going through the PR person's mind when they wrote that? What bothers me the most is that Brady's comment was not offensive in any way, shape, or form, but team officials still felt compelled to cover their asses and release that horseshit statement. People drink beer at football games. Get over it.
No comments:
Post a Comment