Tomorrow is Halloween and for the first time in my life I will be dipping back into the well of former costume choices. Two years ago I was at a loss for ideas and my creativity was running on empty. It was the Saturday before Halloween and there was a few parties that we planned on going to so a roommate and I went to the Salvation Army to look for any sort of idea that we could muster. We came up with nothing significant there so we went to the mall, which of course was packed with every 6 year old in the county. We had some near impulse buys, but came away from the costume store empty handed. At this point it was about 2 hours into the search and my roommate suggested that we just go to Spencer's and get a bunch of stupid stuff. I of course asked, "But what will we do when someone asks what we are? His response was, "We'll just say, "I'm having a good time. Great party." So that's what we did. We both got hats, I had an enormous link chain and a skull staff. He had a scarf, a necklace of mini penises, and we were both wearing clothes we got at the Salvation Army. Some people kept asking, but we just never gave in. Some people thought that we had to be something and they just didn't know what it was and were too embarrassed to ask. And some people absolutely loved it.
When Halloween night actually rolled around, I was in the shower preparing for another night of "I'm having a great time. This party's awesome" when a not so clever idea came to me. I decided to be Dr. Pepper. Dress as a doctor and wear my Dr. Pepper shirt. A terrible play on words, but that's what I went with. A lab coat, blue pastel pants, and a doctor's mask later and I was Dr. P.
Last year I was a makeshift Axl Rose and sure enough someone dressed as Slash was at the bar and a mini photo op ensued.
This year I'm going back to the Dr. Pepper because of my affection for the product, but this time I went out and got the doctor costume (green scrubs) and will just wear my Dr. Pepper shirt underneath (and will probably expose it somehow).
Now with all this Dr. Pepper and Guns N' Roses talk I feel that it is appropriate to mention that everyone in America can receive a free 20 oz. drink on November 23rd (23 flavors) because Guns 'N Roses will be releasing their new album "Chinese Democracy" before the end of the calendar year. Officials at Dr. Pepper challenged the band back in May with this promotion because of the long standing anticipation for the album's release.
It's good to see two things I love teaming up, but before we go any further, Chinese Democracy? Those Commie bastards have been trying to scam us for years with this People's Republic of China malarkey.
China's flag
The flag of the Soviet Union
I love how Guns 'N Roses are making a statement to the Chinese. And that message looks a little something like this.
This should come as no surprise. We all know the propensity of black males to become incarcerated. In fact, 3 times as many black males are in prison than are enrolled in colleges and universities. http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/09/27/census.prisons.ap/index.html
We all cringe a little bit when we see an intimidating black man walking past us on the street. This fear has been ingrained in us since childhood. I've always said that the black factor adds 2 inches and 40 pounds when measuring up fighters. These statistics also support the classic joke, Why are all black men fast?
The slow ones are in jail.
Now to those of you that say stereotypes are inaccurate and shouldn't be used 1.) You're reading the wrong blog 2.) Don't preach your draft dodging hippie liberal rhetoric when in reality you hold these same racial prejudices 3.) Stop hugging trees and find somebody to stick one in you.
Now the initial link is surprising to some because it's doctors that are favoring whites to blacks and we hold them to a higher standard because of their profession. Trust me when I tell you that it's not that easy to not have these tendencies, or to not see race at all, as Stephen Colbert claims.
Give this survey a try. I first came across it in reading Malcolm Gladwell's Blink, which was about all sorts of these snap judgments that we make without even realizing that we are doing so.
The topic of race always reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine are in a bakery to get a chocolate bobka for a party that they are going to. While in the bakery, Jerry buys a Black and White cookie and this exchange ensues...
JERRY: Uhm, The thing about eating the Black and White cookie, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate And yet somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie all our problems would be solved.
ELAINE: Your views on race relations are fascinating. You really should do an op-ed piece for the Times.
JERRY: Um, um, Look to the cookie Elaine. Look to the cookie.
At this point, Jerry looks to the other end of the bakery and exchanges a head nod with a black man who is also eating a Black and White cookie. It's priceless.
For the record, growing up in Syracuse we always called those cookies Half Moons, which of course would indicate that the white portion was the moon and the black portion was just the dark night sky.
On Sunday San Francisco 49ers head coach Mike Singletary, in his first post game press conference mind you, went off on his young, underachieving tight end Vernon Davis, who quite frankly has been playing like his tail end is very tight.
Now of course Singletary is not the first coach to lose his composure during a post game press conference. We all remember the classics, Jim Mora (Playoffs?!?) and Herm Edwards (You play to win the game), but last year, Mike Gundy, the head football coach at Oklahoma State University, gave us some of the most memorable quotes of all time.
"That's why I don't read the newspaper, because it's garbage. And the editor that let it come out is garbage." "Come after me. I'm a man. I'm 40."
This tirade is almost too good. I love how he's staring at the female reporter that wrote this article the entire time.
The previous year the Arizona Cardinals had just blown a huge second half lead to the Chicago Bears on Monday Night Football and Coach Dennis Green wasn't happy about it.
"If you wanna crown 'em, then crown their asses"
Now I'm partial to this next one because of my illustrious intramural career. Dan Hawkins, the head football coach at the University of Colorado, explodes in regards to a letter that he got from a parent. I wish the video was out there somewhere because I'm sure his facial expressions make his words that much better.
"It's Division 1 football"
This last one is obviously my favorite because it was delivered by none other than Jim Boeheim, the head coach of the Syracuse University men's basketball program. How can you not love that face?
Don't forget that Taco Bell is giving away a free crunchy taco to everyone tomorrow between 2-6 pm courtesy of a stolen base in the World Series by Tampa Bay shortstop Jason Bartlett. Even though the only times that anyone ever goes to Taco Bell are between the hours of 11 pm and 2 am, take solace in the fact that tomorrow's time frame does include 4:20 pm.
He couldn't have been further from the truth. That story, ladies and gentlemen, is precisely what this blog is about.
Which brings me to the offensive display that two friends and I put on this morning. A bathroom in the outskirts of Fairfield, CT was destroyed by a string of gastric torpedos from approximately 10:30 to 11:00 a.m. eastern standard time. Call it what you will, whether it be unleashing tear gas or just simply reducing our blood pressure, this 3 man murderer's row combined to create one of the most rank, putrid, wonderfully unpleasant, smelly, juicy, steamy, and unbearable odors to strike the eastern seaboard in some time. Sure enough a group of 10 females waltzed in literally moments after The Stan Man had put the finishing touches in the recipe of gaseous fury. Obviously no fan, spray, or potpourri could contain the invisible and extremely potent monster. While I have you thinking about the invisibility of some odors, an unnamed cousin and I have thought for a long time that the world would be a much better place if the gases unleashed in farts were actually clouds of green smoke.
It was at this point that I thought that a product that could instantaneously eliminate unwanted olfactory sensations would make loads of money. But after letting the thought of that colossal aroma seep in for a few hours, I have decided that I do not want that product at all.
What I do want, is to find an individual out there who's gastro intestinal capabilities are so powerfully putrid that they could reverse the damage that my friends and I caused. What I really want is for someone to hit 4th in our occasionally liquid lineup. This is not something that any Joe Fart out there can do. I'm looking for a commitment. Baked beans for breakfast, Mexican for lunch, and a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich for dinner. Don't think for a second that just because this is a baseball lineup, so to speak, that juicing is prohibited. Quite frankly, it is encouraged. We need as many gastric juices as we can. Not for nothing, we'd certainly score a lot of runs.
I'll be accepting applications until the end of the year.
About a year ago, there was a female in The Stan Man's life that he had grown very close to. Let's call her Tristen. The feelings were expressed on both sides; however Tristen also had strong feelings for a gentleman that she came to know on the other side of the globe. It was at this point in her young life that she had to make a decision. Now that more than 365 days have gone by (as well as some wild news), I feel it is appropriate to break down her choice.
On one hand she had The Stan Man who stands an impressive 5'11. On the other she had this other gentleman, who we will refer to as Lyle, that stands about 6'3. It should be noted here that although my Irish heritage precludes me from winning any big dick contests, it is unclear as to who was had the height advantage when it came to the underworld.
Lyle drives a white '08 Escalade (and has probably upgraded by now) and The Stan Man drives a white '02 Taurus.
Lyle had cheated on previous girlfriends, but The Stan Man hooked up with this Tristen's best friend (at Tristen's house mind you).
For Valentine's Day, Lyle took Tristen on a wine tour.....IN CALIFORNIA. This summer 10 of The Stan Man's best friends in the world went on a wine tour and he was not even invited.
On the one year anniversary of this decision, Lyle took Tristen to the Poconos for the weekend and asked for her hand in marriage by presenting a ring to her that is probably worth more than all the money The Stan Man has ever had to his name. On the one year anniversary of this decision, The Stan Man is writing this blog entry to an audience of roughly 50 (I high balled it).
First things first, I'd like to extend my congratulations to the happy couple. Surely nothing will break the bond of true love, but if you're a 22 year old girl and your boyfriend of one year proposes to you, is your first thought not "you're joking, right?"? I mean marriage is a pretty big commitment. I can't even commit to an ass wiping style (read Poop Culture before you judge me), let alone one person for the rest of my life.
In the past two weeks, I have heard of two other young couples that have recently been engaged. Both brides to be are 23 and both future bridegrooms are 24. Of course these other two couples have each been together for 3+ years and because of their tried and true histories, I wasn't the least bit surprised to hear the respective good news.
My Journalism professor taught me that if you can find three people, or in this case three couples, that all do the same thing then you have a trend. Which begs the question, how young is too young for a couple to get married? Obviously I think in order to answer the question, you must evaluate the couples individually as opposed to collectively. It is clearly up to the couple to know and decide if and when they plan to tie the knot.
Which brings us back to Lyle and Tristen. The timing of their engagement was a bit surprising because they have only been together for a year, but that is where the peculiar timing ends. Let me be the first to say that I'm sure that the timing of this engagement had nothing to do with the fact that this weekend is alumni weekend at the U. The happy couple will probably refrain from telling anyone the good news. In fact, I doubt that Tristen will even be wearing her ring.
After reading that first paragraph, your first thought is "she's going pro?" and then you realize that it's women's basketball and that in this case, it wasn't the point guard that was doing the penetrating. I am unquestionably anti-feminist, but this is a situation where women do face a disadvantage. To put it in perspective, Paul Harris, of the SU men's basketball team has fathered 1 (if not 2 or 3) children and doing so has not hampered his playing career.
First and foremost I would like to apologize for whatever connection I just made to the former MTV hit show and it's lard infested troll of a host Dave Holmes for the title that I chose for this post. The mere thought and subsequent mental image of that grotesque chunker is not the sort of appeal that I aim to promote and for that I express my sincerest apology.
Now when it comes to Karaoke, one's song selection is about 75% of the battle. It is crucial to pick a song that the majority of your audience is familiar with. Most of them should be able to sing the chorus and be impressed by the fact that you know the words in all of the verses. Keep in mind that this 'advice' is coming from someone that once performed a duet to "Suspicious Minds" by Elvis with a man who's voice box was more battered than Jenna Jameson's vagina.
That being said, let's break down ask men's top 10.
10.) Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen- My only problem with this song being on the list is that it's at #10 and not #1. It reminds me of the time that one of my friends wore an American Flag to a bar (this was by no means an isolated incident). A patron that was standing next to me asked, "Why is your friend wearing the American flag?" To which I naturally replied, "Why aren't you?"
9.) You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC- Definitely a very good song, and worthy of being on this list, but I can definitely see some creep show picking this song and staring directly at a foxy broad the entire time he is on stage.
8.) (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones- A perfect song to choose if you're looking to to pick up the 46 year old tattooed biker chick sitting at the bar wearing a leather vest and a skull necklace. Don't get me wrong, it's a classic song, but I think it's run is over. It's kind of like the athlete that won't retire, or that was great for a while and now their career is over, but they continue to play because of who they once were. ( Ex- Ken Griffey Jr)
7.) Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond- Never in American history have we celebrated pedophilia so enthusiastically. In a 2007 interview, Neil Diamond admitted that he wrote the song about Caroline Kennedy (JFK's daughter). She was 11 at the time of its release. "Touching you, touching me" What a sick fuck.
6.) Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi- This is one of those songs that you would pick if you had a below average voice, great stage presence, and were going for crowd participation points, which is why its right up my alley. In fact, I'd probably be doing the Happy Gilmore dance with the microphone cord in between my legs for the first 45 seconds.
5.) Sweet Home Alabame by Lynyrd Skynard- For those of you that don't know, and I'm assuming that it's a bunch of you, Lynyrd Skynrd is the name of a band- not a person. In fact, they named the band after their gym teacher Leonard Skinner who wouldn't allow them to have long hair, which reminds me of another quasi-famous gym teacher. Mr. Heyman.
In regards to the song. I think it's overplayed and overdone. The only redeeming quality for me is in the beginning when they say "turn it up".
4.) Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks- Now this is a classic karaoke tune because it's really all about getting sloshed with your asshole friends, which quite frankly, is what most people do at karaoke bars.
3.) Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel- A great song, but I'm not so sure how I feel about it cracking the top 3, let alone the top 10. This is a fringe karaoke song for me, but I think enough people are familiar enough with the lyrics to pull it off.
2.) Don't Stop Believing by Journey- It's not necessary to fade to black after this one, because most people that give it a go are well into their blackouts. This really is a great pick though, because it's slow enough to get the crowd involved and most people think they know all the words.
1.) Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf- Had this song not been #1, I would have said that it was the most underrated Karaoke song out there for the members of the PEN 15 club. I should admit that I'm a little partial to this song because a handful of my friends call me "the wild man", but only because of what Svedka does to me.
Now all in all, this top 10 wasn't too bad, but they left off two absolute gems. The first of which needs no explanation.
I'm a Real American by Rick Derringer
The second of course being, We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel. Think about it. Everyone knows the chorus, but nobody in their right mind knows the verses. Now I have made a commitment to memorize the entire song and so far I am doing quite well.
Thanks to Greg in Trumbull, CT for the link. (For those of you that know him, yes, he is still alive and well)
I can't get over the fact that a man named Wang made a scene for having his -wang out, but then again, Wang is probably like Johnson over there.
There can be no greater feeling in sports than winning a gold medal for your country, but that is not justification for urinating in public. Being a man is. Men, how many times have you been drunk and just let your hose spray on a tree, a tire, a building, etc? It's what men do, under certain circumstances.
There is indeed an unwritten, yet generally understood, code of bathroom etiquette among males. It might seem like a feces/urine free for all, but there are actually some governing principles that make the process flow a little bit smoother (I can't stop the innuendo, it just happens). There is a lot to cover and if I leave out any major rules or guidelines, please feel free to add them in.
Rule #1- No peeking. No matter how badly you want to size up your opponent at the adjacent urinal (or the trough, which is pretty much like one of those water gun games at a fair or carnival), you must fight the urge. I must admit that earlier in my career (no I was not sneaking peeks), I simply wasn't ready for the big stage. I would occasionally experience a little gun trouble at a urinal duel and relegate myself to my home away from home- the stall. There's something about seeing the water that helps.
Rule #2- I don't care what pretty boy is washing his hands (I hope everyone does) or checking himself out in the mirror, the sink is fair game. Wasting time waiting in line is for pussies. Obviously this also means that trashcans, etc are up for grabs. In fact, I had one of the best urinary deposits of my excretion career in a trash can at a concert.
Rule #3- This pertains to Mr. Wang most directly and it's that if at any point, you feel like your time could be better served imbibing alcohol/fraternizing with sluts as opposed to waiting in the piss line, than take your business outside. Our anatomy lends itself to leaving our mark wherever we damn well please.
Rule#4- If the guy in the stall next to you is belting out alphabet poop (I'm sure you've heard of people burping the alphabet) or putting on a show louder than a Metallica concert, you must congratulate him on his performance no matter how bad it stunk.
Rule #5- Stall pissers have 20 seconds to get it done before they are asking to get pissed on, where as urinal pissers get 25 seconds. It's kind of like fast money in Family Feud.
Trust me, there are plenty more. For example, Rule#35- No females allowed unless all excretions are sexual fluids. Exceptions for Golden Showers and Blumpkins can be appealed. Actually, Blumpkins are always a go. Again, if you feel as if I have left out something major, do not hesistate.
Now the real problem I have with Wang is his arrogant comment to the security guard. "I am the famous Wang Hao! I am the world champion! Does it matter if I beat you?" Although it's funny, it's also pretty pompous; however using celebrity status has to be awkward. I really feel bad for the fringe celebrities that only get recognized at half the places they go. How uncomfortable would you feel explaining to someone that you deserve special treatment (not waiting in a line at a club, getting a table at a restaurant, etc) because of who you are?
This notion of using one's celebrity status to avoid trouble reminds me of former Providence basketball player Donnie McGrath. Now to be fair, outside of John Linehan, Austin Croshere, and God Shamgod, Providence basketball hasn't been relevant since they made it to the Final Four under Rick Pitino in 1987. You're probably asking yourself, who is Donnie McGrath? Well folks, Donnie McGrath was your typical white point guard from an affluent upbringing that thought that he needed to portray a ghetto lifestyle because he was a basketball player. This trend has become very common in today's culture and has, in fact, run ramped in the Big East. For example, Donnie McGrath was Mike Nardi before Mike Nardi, and Eric Devendorf before Eric Devendorf.
Here's how Donnie attempted to use his 'celebrity' status to get out of trouble.
"Be cool. You know me." What a piece of trash. Now I am the furthest thing from a women's rights activist, but rule #1 of interacting with the opposite sex (other than drinking an obscene amount of alcohol to avoid awkwardness) is to never, under 99% of possible circumstances, hit/strike them. Now if a female has just killed one of my family members or close friends, that bitch is going to get it. I mean that goes without saying, but outside of that, hitting a girl is out of the question. That being said, I literally can not figure out how girls go back to men that have hit them.
I am not a Survivor supporter, nor have I ever been, and I resent the fact that Jeff Probst won an Emmy for his 'hosting skills', but this video is too good to be true.
First of all, Danny "GC" is your typical black man who is excited to learn about his native land and I don't know too many people that would mind if he just stayed there.
Next, we have Charlie, who is like an Ivy league guy, who is smart, but he's not a rocket scientist. Charlie is a bottom that has a lisp and is only on the show to start the fires because he's already flaming.
Then we have Jacquie, who for some reason, flirts with everyone and doesn't know why. Are you serious Jacquie? Every guy on the planet flirts with you because they want to knock your fun bags around in the sack. Don't act so clueless.
Finally, we have Gillian, who delivers perhaps the greatest line of any preview commercial that I have ever seen. "Once Africa gets in you, Africa never gets out." Translation, "Once you go black, you never go back." You can tell that she's thinking about the time that she got impaled with a 14 inch behemoth when she says it too.
Which brings us to the top 3 cases in recent memory, of white girls getting a case of jungle fever.
3.) Tiffany Ortiz
I know that Papi isn't even Africa black (he's Dominican), but I couldn't resist because he is the spitting image of the gorilla shown in the beginning of the clip. I've seen the sort of things that he can do with a Louisville Slugger in his hands and I can't even imagine what kind of damage he can cause with his own lumber.
2.) Ann Dunham (Barack Obama's mother)
Obama's mom had one of the most sever cases of jungle fever that I have ever come across. Obama's father (also named Barack) was Kenyan, as in 100% African, and what are Kenyans most known for? That's right, for their participation in marathons. Obama's mom was getting it allll night long. Along the same lines, I find it odd that Obama doesn't support offshore drilling because you know that during his conception his mom was screaming, "Drill, Baby, Drill."
1.) Heidi Klum
Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder how this happened. Heidi Klum is a world renown supermodel and Seal is savage, who had one good song. I'll be the first to admit when a black man is good looking. For example, Kobe Bryant is a stud. But, Seal? Come onnn. The only logical explanation that I can think of is that Heidi got trashed at some celebrity function and wanted to see what a black man was like in bed. She thought it would be a one time thing, but she got addicted to his gargantuan bamboo stick.
First off, I know the video is long, but Avery definitely plowed Rachel Nichols, right? Isn't that how she gets all of her interviews?
I don't think it can overstated how much of a prick Sean Avery is on the ice. He is definitely the most annoying player in the game and certainly one of the most badass. I figured it was this rugged, hot headed attitude that allowed him to penetrate Elisha Cuthbert, Kim Bauer/The Girl Next Door. Who knew that he was into women's fashion and played with dolls as a kid? It's literally unbelievable. This would be like if Ray Lewis baked cookies and was a Girl Scouts Troop leader. It'd be like if Ron Artest was an interior decorator that got his interior decorated by another guy. This video screams gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, but I still think Avery is straight.
Alright folks, as many of you know, I wrote a column for my school newspaper last year titled "He Said" in which I delivered the male opinion on a different topic each week. My use of gross generalities and stereotypes, albeit most of them founded in truth, caused a bit of an uproar from the future baby bearers of the fine institution that I now call my alma mater. For those of you unfamiliar with the column, here are a few that caused the bleeding heart liberal feminists on campus to get their panties in a bunch. The Morning After
Now of course, there were many females that enjoyed the column and for that they are thanked.
Evidently my successor this year has been causing a commotion of his own, but not of the same kind. His readership is rebelling against him for not being funny and he is attacking them. (Not a good idea)
In the past few weeks I have received a number of phone calls and texts about this dire situation. Two weeks ago an article was called "He Said is Dead" and then last week the hammer was dropped with "He Said/She Said are out of touch".
Sure enough The Stan Man took this golden opportunity, with encouragement bordering on pressure from a cousin that will remain nameless, to write a letter to the editor and give the young boys and girls a little taste of what they've been missing. My apologies if the tail end of that last sentence came across with a pedaphiliac like tone. It was not meant that way. Here is that letter (with a picture to boot).
Let me be the first to say that I have a boner just thinking about this trailer. Not even the movie. Half of my movie going experience is getting to see the previews for upcoming movies. They almost are the deciding factor for whether or not I'm going to enjoy the feature presentation. Alright, not really, but previews are great. I mean, think about it, who isn't glued to the tv when scenes from the next episode are promised after the commercial break? I won't even dare change the channel and I take pride in my remote handling skills.
Now I have become quite the movie buff in the past few years. In fact, I attempted to watch every movie that was nominated for the Best Picture at the Oscars from 1986 to the present day this summer and I have now seen about 95 of the 115. I believe that the two best actors of our generation are Leonardo Dicaprio and Denzel Washington. In no particular order I might add. I think they are 1 and 1 A.
For the longest time I had contended that there was not a single bad movie out there that starred Denzel until I saw Fallen, which quite frankly was brutal. And yeah, maybe American Gangster was a little long, but it brought us perhaps the most badass scene in the history of cinema.
If you put Denzel in any sort of role where he is a cop (bonus points if he is a hostage negotiator), a criminal, or a government operative than you are guaranteed a phenomenal movie.
Not for nothing, this director did a hell of a job with with Eastern Promises, so I'm even more excited. If you haven't seen it, Viggo Mortensen delivers an outstanding performance and was rightfully nominated for Best Actor in a Leading Role.
I literally drink Dr. Pepper like it's water and could not be happier about this commercial. I mean talk about an easy advertising pitch. How many years in a row do you think the people at Dr. Pepper were contacting Dr. J about this ad? As if the concept wasn't enough, they go and throw the Chicago Bulls entrance music into the background. Absolutely priceless. To top it off, as soon as he makes the shot of ice (pretty dramatic rim job by the way) I immediately say the words "still got it" every time, as if it's a part of the commercial. My buddy John and I would always say that line in college whenever we did anything remotely athletic or impressive because it would indicate that, although our athletic careers were over, we at one time had some sort of skill.
Feminism isn't really my cup of tea. To be honest, I think all of the femi-nazis of the world need to settle down and learn to pick their battles. I understand that women face unfair challenges when it comes to the workplace, but most of those are due to biology, not society. I think it was put best by an obscure college writer from an accredited university along the eastern seaboard. http://www.fairfieldmirror.com/campus_life/1.474034
Two things. First, I've always been a Colbert guy, but every once in a while the Daily Show hits the nail on the head. Biden is clearly a loose cannon, who plagiarized as a law student at Syracuse University, before becoming the youngest member of the Senate. A buddy of mine that is in SU Law School told me that a professor of his told his class that he'd tell them how Biden was as a student, but he never went to class. I find it interesting that Obama chose him because back in the primary Biden took a lot of heat for calling Obama "the first mainstream African American candidate who is articulate and bright and clean.." Obviously the man is very smart to have made it to where he is. And let's be honest here, out of the 4 in question, is he not the one that most Americans can relate to? Let's look at the other 3. A black man? No. A POW who grew up in a military family? No. A woman from Alaska? No. I think the white guy who slacked off in college and went to law school is more up my alley.
Secondly, Palin is being kept under raps because she is inexperienced when it comes to national and international politics, which isn't the worst thing in the world. The connection to Cheney is great. I still remember how Cheney was so secretive that he removed his house from Google Earth. Like really? Who uses Google Earth for more than 20 minutes the first time they download it? Tonight's debate should be interesting, but it shouldn't have much of an effect on the election. This whole one heartbeat away from the presidency is a bunch of nonsense. When's the last time a president died in office? Kennedy. Actually, maybe this time it isn't nonsense because if Obama gets elected you know there's going to be one crazy redneck that makes an assination attempt. Maybe Obama should have selected Hilary because then at least he'd have some insurance because some people might think a black man is more apt to be president than a woman.
First of, I think the video is very well done, accurate, and funny. Now there was always a question of whether the guy in the commercials was actually drawing and I think that there's a chance that he was, but that doesn't interest me all that much. I have always contended that his erasing was the most impressive and there is no way that he did that on his own. This video demonstrates that point as the guy struggles a little bit with it. Now, of course the video is not entirely accurate because the guy in this video is clearly Asian. First off, I hope no Asian males wear their hair like that. Secondly, is anyone else not surprised that they needed an Asian to perform in this video? Now I'm not saying Asians are good actors because quite frankly I can't think of one good one (Jackie Chan does not count because he does not act), but clearly they are more artistic. Maybe they are forced to really focus on the point of attack because of their limited range of sight?
Poop is the great equalizer. It is one of the very few things that we all have in common yet somehow we, as a society, have branded this bond with disdain. Despite the negative connotation surrounding the process of squeezing some chocolate sauce out, pooping has managed to have a rather successful career in comedy. Everybody loves a good poop story and most people have a few about the old number two. Now I have quite the pooping resume, but this one has got to take the cake as the best one going. I can not get enough of this grown man, a sports icon, readily admitting to pooping his pants twice a year on average.
