Film's Finest

Why do you go to the movies? I think most people would say to be entertained (I would say to watch the trailers). That makes sense, but I think there’s more to it than going to see a comedy because we want to laugh or going to see an action movie because we want to see chase scenes, shootouts, and limited dialogue. To me, movies are an escape. For two hours (or three if you consider some of the Best Picture nominees this year) we’re totally removed from our daily lives. When we’re at the theater we don’t fret about work/relationships. Our worries are temporarily put on hold because our mind is focused on the screen in front of us.

It seems trivial, but think about it. We don’t check Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram for roughly two hours. In today’s day and age that’s incredible. The only other time I’m free of social media for that long is when I’m asleep.

When we go to the movies we willingly allow ourselves to be taken to a different world. Sometimes it’s not much different from the world we occupy on a daily basis. Other times it’s a world our ancestors experienced or someone’s projection of the world that our descendants will live in. For a few hours we’re totally immersed in that other world and once we’re snapped back to reality we’re left feeling different (in some way) than when we entered.

This Sunday marks the 85th presentation of the Academy Awards, so let’s celebrate the year’s best in film the only way I know how: with fairly obvious predictions. This year I enter Oscars Week having seen 6 of the 9 films nominated for Best Picture. That gives me a pretty solid foundation from which to make my predictions. For those keeping track at home I’m 19 of 22 in my picks over the last four years (6 for 6 last year).

Best Picture

Amour



It’s a French film about old people. No thanks.


Argo



Six U.S. delegates are hiding out in the Canadian ambassador’s house during the Iran hostage crisis in 1979 and a C.I.A. operative (Ben Affleck) hatches a scheme involving a fake movie to get them out of the country. I’m a sucker for politics and all things Ben Affleck, so this movie is right in my wheelhouse. Initially it did not appear to be on the right trajectory to win the Oscar, but it’s gained an avalanche of support during awards season (it won the Golden Globe and SAG) and now looks like the front runner.


Beasts of the Southern Wild



I saw this movie last week and I think it went over my head. A five-year-old girl, your protagonist, lives on the wrong side of a levee on the Mississippi river with her father, who’s ingrained in her a sense of pride for where she comes from. Eventually their environment floods and her father gets sick and dies. Roll credits.


Django Unchained



I’m not a big Tarantino guy, but Django was highly entertaining. A bounty hunter employs a former slave and the two try to free the former slave’s wife from a corrupt Southern gentleman played by Leonardo DiCaprio. The movie is chock full of killing, blatant racism, and terrific acting performances. Django has virtually no chance to win the Oscar, but Christoph Waltz should win Best Supporting Actor (even though he was essentially the main character).


Les Miserables



I have not seen this film, but we were forced to watch a previous version in religion class back in high school. All I remember is that a poor man, named Jean Valjean, steals a loaf of bread and a guard goes out of his way to arrest him for it.


Life of Pi



From what I can tell this movie is like the Jungle Book/Tarzan on steroids. Evidently a boy survives a shipwreck and becomes best friends with a tiger on a remote island. It doesn’t seem like my kind of movie, but one of my friends raves about it.


Lincoln



This Spielberg production focuses on the passing of the 13th amendment to the U.S. Constitution (you know, the one that abolished slavery). It’s highly dramatized, long (it doesn’t drag, though), and has quite a few one liners. I’m glad I saw it, but it has zero re-watchability. I will never see it again or as much as watch on scene on HBO, Showtime, Starz, etc. It was thought to be the favorite to win Best Picture, but there’s been little to no buzz about the film in the past few months.


Silver Linings Playbook



A bi-polar adult (Bradley Cooper) leaves a psychiatric center to move back in with his parents and as he struggles to get back on his feet and adjust to reality he befriends a female (Jennifer Lawrence) who’s going through her own emotional problems. They cope with their respective illnesses together and eventually fall in love. I like Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence a lot, so I had high expectations for this movie, which is never a good thing. Low and behold my expectations were met. Cooper is phenomenal during the first half of it and then Lawrence steals the show.


Zero Dark Thirty



This film is essentially an acted out documentary of the hunt and capture of Osama Bin Laden. I’m into the behind the scenes political stuff, so I was interested all the way through, but plenty of people have knocked the film for its lack of character and plot development. I’m sure there was a little jingoism behind the nomination, but I contend that the movie is truly deserving of one of the nine spots this year. By the way, I still have no idea what the title of the movie means.


Which movie would I vote for? Argo

Which movie will win? Argo


Best Actor

Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook- It’s the best performance on Cooper’s sneaky good resume. Actually, no it’s not. His best performance is, and always will be, Sack in Wedding Crashers.

Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln- He’s so convincing as Lincoln that you completely forget that it’s Daniel Day-Lewis portraying our 16th president. This is his award to lose.

Hugh Jackman in Les Miserables- Apparently he sings a lot, so if you’re in to that, then check it out. I don’t mean to disparage Jackman because he seems like an awesome guy based on the interviews that I’ve seen him in, but I tend to stay away from musicals if I can help it.

Joaquin Phoenix in The Master- So much for retiring from acting, right? This is the one film that I have not seen, but wish I had before the writing of this post. I’ve heard that Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman are amazing and I don’t doubt it for a second. I also heard that the movie makes you think long after you see it, which should be the goal of every filmmaker.

Denzel Washington in Flight- Denzel’s outstanding as an airline pilot who somehow crash landed a plane while he was hammered, but the film falls a little short.



Which of the five is the most likely to get me to see a movie? Denzel Washington

Who’s going to win? Daniel Day-Lewis and if he does he’ll become the first to win for a third time (8 others have won twice).


Best Actress

Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty- She’s definitely an up an coming actress, but this role didn’t really show off her full range or ability. She was good, but her character was simply one note.

Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook- She makes this challenging role look easy. It’s not forced or over rehearsed. It’s subtle, but very impactful. She delivers on all of the biggest moments, as well as the smallest ones. I hope she’s got a speech planned for Sunday.

Emmanuelle Riva in Amour- All I can tell you is that at 85 she’s the oldest actress to ever be nominated for Best Actress.

Quvenzhane Wallis in Beasts of the Southern Wild- Conversely Wallis, at 9 years old, is the youngest to ever be nominated for Best Actress.

Naomi Watts in The Impossible- Watts plays a mother who’s on vacation in Thailand with her family when a tsunami hits. It’s based on a true story. I haven’t seen it, but I’m sure she’s fantastic.



Who should win? Jennifer Lawrence

Who’s going to win? Jennifer Lawrence


Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Alan Arkin in Argo- Arkin plays the producer of the fake movie, which serves as the cover to getting the U.S. delegates out of Iran. He’s not on the screen very much and when he is he’s good, but not Oscar good.

Robert De Niro in Silver Linings Playbook- De Niro plays Bradley Cooper’s gambling addict of a father and he’s really not that great. I think this was just a legacy nomination (like Derek Jeter winning a Gold Glove).

Philip Seymour Hoffman in The Master- I assume he’s unbelievably good as the founder of Scientology.

Tommy Lee Jones in Lincoln- He’s very good as the influential Congressman Thaddeus Stevens and would be the odds on favorite to take home the hardware if not for the gentlemen listed below him.

Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained- Waltz, who won this award in 2009 for his role in a different Tarantino film (Inglourious Bastards), is great in Django, but he’s basically the main character. I think Leonardo DiCaprio should have been nominated in this category instead.



Who would win if DiCaprio were nominated instead of Waltz? Tommy Lee Jones

Who’s going to win? Christoph Waltz


Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Amy Adams in The Master- It seems like she gets nominated every year for something, but never wins. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Sally Field in Lincoln- Mary Todd Lincoln was bat shit crazy and Mrs. Field does a good job of demonstrating that. She probably has the second best odds to win, but you’d be crazy to take them.

Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables- I’d be completely stunned if she didn’t win. I’m talking like Oscar Pistorious when he realized that he killed his girlfriend level stunned.

Helent Hunt in The Sessions- Good to see that Helen Hunt is still getting some work. She was one of the top three actresses going in the late ‘90s.

Jacki Weaver in Silver Linings Playbook- She played Bradley Cooper’s mother and while she was solid she wasn’t anything spectacular.



Which of the five would I most like to sleep with in their prime? Helen Hunt, but it’s close. PS- If you don't think I Googled pictures of a young Jacki Weaver you're crazy.

Who’s going to win? Anne Hathaway


Best Director

Michael Haneke for Amour- He has virtually no chance. The foreign thing was cool a year ago.

Ang Lee for Life of Pi- Most likely in the #2 spot right now and making a charge, but I don’t think it’ll be enough.

David O. Russell for Silver Linings Playbook- Unfortunately I think the actors (Cooper and Lawrence) are getting all of the credit for this film.

Steven Spielberg for Lincoln- I think he’s the favorite because all of the Best Picture buzz dissipated, so voters may have compensated in this category. He’s lucky Affleck got snubbed 9 ways to Sunday.

Benh Zeitlin for Beasts of the Southern Wild- Let’s just put him in the “happy to be nominated” department.



Who should win? Ang Lee

Who’s going to win? Steven Spielberg

Hollywood Bracket

I'm just realizing now that 1.) March is almost over (2012 is flying by) and 2.) I have yet to supply you with a bracket. Clearly I was a little too caught up in the actual bracket with Syracuse being a pre-tournament favorite. Now that Syracuse has lost, let's get to a bracket.

As some of you may know, I was essentially the committee chairman of this bracket. What you probably don't know is that because of my lunch routine I was a member of the committee for this bracket. It's the second bracket that I'd like to focus on. For those of you that are too lazy to click on my links it's a bracket of actors. The goal of this so-called "Hollywood Bracket" is to find out who the best actor is. The criteria is a bit hazy because it's not the best actor of all time. And it's not the best actor of this very moment. For my purposes, I will make it the best living actor. I've re-seeded the bracket, adjusted the name of one of the regions, and here's what I've come up with.


Marlon Brando Region

1- Jack Nicholson
16- Scarlet Johansson

8- Robin Williams
9- Warren Beatty

5- Sean Penn
12- Angelina Jolie

4- Johnny Depp
13- Jeff Bridges

6- Glenn Close
11- Edward Norton

3- George Clooney
14- Michael Caine

7- Tim Robbins
10- Mark Wahlberg

2- Morgan Freeman
15- Reese Witherspoon


The Humphrey Bogart Region

1- Meryl Streep
16- Kevin Costner

8- Philip Seymour Hoffman
9- Colin Firth

5- Will Smith
12- Ryan Gosling

4- Kevin Spacey
13- Jamie Foxx

6- Gene Hackman
11- Julianne Moore

3- Al Pacino
14- Judi Dench

7- Michael Douglas
10- Russell Crowe

2- Leonardo DiCaprio
15- Natalie Portman


The John Wayne Region

1- Denzel Washington
16- Kevin Bacon

8- Javier Bardem
9- Halle Berry

5- Julia Roberts
12- Paul Giamatti

4- Brad Pitt
13- Hilary Swank

6- Anthony Hopkins
11- Tommy Lee Jones

3- Matt Damon
14- Ben Affleck

7- Harrison Ford
10- Christian Bale

2- Clint Eastwood
15- Michelle Williams


The Jimmy Stewart Region

1- Tom Hanks
16- Anne Hathaway

8- Samuel L. Jackson
9- Bruce Willis

5- Daniel Day-Lewis
12- Daniel Craig

4- Tom Cruise
13- Nicole Kidman

6- Robert Redford
11- John Malkovich

3- Kate Winslet
14- Liam Neeson

7- Dustin Hoffman
10- Penelope Cruz

2- Robert Deniro
15- Benicio Del Toro

I'm sure there were plenty of snubs (some were probably egregious). Feel free to let me know who I unintentionally slighted. I skew young and towards actors instead of actresses. Deal with it. Either way, it's now time for my picks. In some matchups I attempted to briefly explain why one actor/actress should advance. In others I simply used a famous movie quote from either participant. Hopefully you'll be able to follow along.


Marlon Brando Region



First Round

1- Jack Nicholson over 16- Scarlet Johansson- Jack’s taking ScarJo down to Chinatown (1975)

8- Robin Williams over 9- Warren Beatty- Williams’ non comedy acting career is wildly underrated (4 Oscar noms, 1 win).

5- Sean Penn over 12- Angelina Jolie- Jolie might outdo him when it comes to humanitarian efforts (although then again she might not) and media fanfare, but Penn has a lot more range and more accolades. Speaking of humanitarian efforts, if they made a movie about U2 Penn would be a lock to play Bono, right?

4- Johnny Depp over 13- Jeff Bridges- Bridges has been better of late (back to back Best Actor noms in 2010-11), but Depp will Blow (2001) by him.

11- Edward Norton over 6- Glenn Close- They both have outstanding performances, but I like Norton’s (Primal Fear (1996)) more than Close’s (Fatal Attraction (1987).

3- George Clooney over 14- Michael Caine- Caine has the edge in credentials, experience, and longevity, but Clooney has the star power that Caine’s never possessed.

7- Tim Robbins over 10- Mark Wahlberg- Wahlberg is a very successful producer as well as a respected actor, but at his core he’s a wanna be rapper from Boston. Guess what Tim Robbins was doing when he was young? Acting.

2- Morgan Freeman over 15- Reese Witherspoon- Witherspoon has one great performance (Walk the Line), but Freeman has more depth and experience.

Second Round

1- Jack Nicholson over 8- Robin Williams- Closer match up than you’d think, but, “Heeeeerrrrre’s Johnny!” is a little more iconic than, “Gooooooooood Morninggg Vietnam!”

5- Sean Penn over 4- Johnny Depp- Since 1995 Sean Penn is the only man to win Best Actor twice (Mystic River, Milk) and he leads all actors with 5 nominations.

3- George Clooney over 11- Edward Norton- I love me some Ed Norton, but Clooney was outstanding in The Descendants, Up in the Air, and Michael Clayton. How he didn’t win Best Actor for any of those roles just baffles me.

2- Morgan Freeman over 7- Tim Robbins- I have to give Freeman the edge in the Shawshank showdown because not only was he the one nominated for Best Actor, but I think it also launched his voice-over career.

Regional Semi-Finals

1- Jack Nicholson over 5- Sean Penn- Penn is outstanding, but Nicholson is a legend and he delivered one of my favorite lines in the history of cinema. In As Good as it Gets (1997) Nicholson plays a writer suffering from a severe case of OCD. He’s asked how he writes women so well and he says, “I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.”

3- George Clooney over 2- Morgan Freeman- You could argue that Freeman has been the better actor (I’d still lean toward Clooney), but Clooney gets the edge because of how well he’s taken to writing/directing. Need evidence? Good Night, and Good Luck (2005) and The Ides of March (2011) both garnered Oscar recognition.

Regional Finals

1- Jack Nicholson over 3- George Clooney- You’re God damn right he ordered the Code Red!


The Humphrey Bogart Region



First Round

1- Meryl Streep over 16- Kevin Costner- She has the most Academy Award nominations of all time. Plain and simple.

8- Philip Seymour Hoffman over 9- Colin Firth- They both have Best Actors Oscars, but Hoffman steals the show in just about everything else that he’s in.

12- Ryan Gosling over 5- Will Smith- Will Smith is definitely a more talented entertainer, but Gosling is clearly the better actor.

4- Kevin Spacey over 13- Jamie Foxx- Spacey was the suave badass in LA Confidential (1997) long before Jamie Foxx came around.

6- Gene Hackman over 11- Julianne Moore- Julianne Moore doesn’t get the credit she deserves, but there’s no way that she’s knocking out Norman Dale.

3- Al Pacino over 14- Judi Dench- Dench actually has a great resume, but I know her best as M in James Bond films. Pacino is best known as Michael Corleone and Tony Montana. Simple as that.

7- Michael Douglas over 10- Russell Crowe- “The point is ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for the lack of a better word, is good,” against, “What we do in life echoes in eternity,” and “Are you not entertained?” Close, but I have to go with Douglas.

2- Leonardo DiCaprio over 15- Natalie Portman- Portman is an Israeli minx with a Best Actress Oscar on her resume, but I like Leo in a rout. Do you concur?

Second Round

1- Meryl Streep over 8- Philip Seymour Hoffman- I was rooting for the upset here, but I just couldn’t pull the trigger on it. I hate Streep (she’s very pretentious) and love Hoffman, but it’s really not even close.

4- Kevin Spacey over 12- Ryan Gosling- “What sick ridiculous puppets we are / and what gross little stage we dance on / What fun we have dancing and fucking / Not a care in the world / Not knowing that we are nothing / We are not what was intended”

3- Al Pacino over 6- Gene Hackman- “Hooah!”

2- Leonardo DiCaprio over 7- Michael Douglas- “When you kill a king, you don't stab him in the dark. You kill him where the entire court can watch him die.”

Regional Semi-Finals

4- Kevin Spacey over 1- Meryl Streep- Sorry Meryl, but Keyser Soze isn’t going down to a female.

2- Leonardo DiCaprio over 3- Al Pacino- I’m obviously biased because I’m only 26 and didn’t get to enjoy Pacino in his prime, but Leo’s performance as Billy Costigan in The Departed (2005) is legendary.

Regional Finals

2- Leonardo DiCaprio over 4- Kevin Spacey- “Well dreams, they feel real while we're in them, right? It's only when we wake up that we realize how things are actually strange. Let me ask you a question, you, you never really remember the beginning of a dream do you? You always wind up right in the middle of what's going on.”


The John Wayne Region



First Round

1- Denzel Washington over 16- Kevin Bacon- “King Kong ain’t got shit on me!”

9- Halle Berry over 8- Javier Bardem- All she wants is someone that can “make me feel good.”

5- Julia Roberts over 12- Paul Giamatti- Paul Giamatti is brilliant, but he can’t hang with this Pretty Woman.

4- Brad Pitt over 13- Hilary Swank- “Fight Club was the beginning, now it's moved out of the basement, it's called Project Mayhem.”

6- Anthony Hopkins over 11- Tommy Lee Jones- Hopkins polishes him off with “some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

3- Matt Damon over 14- Ben Affleck- Just like in Good Will Hunting (1997), Damon is the one with all the talent.

10- Christian Bale over 7- Harrison Ford- I'm already bracing myself for some venom coming from my friend Frank, but let me attempt to explain. This is clearly an upset. If logic prevailed Ford would advance in a heartbeat. Here's the thing though, logic doesn't always prevail in the NCAA Tournament. That's why they play the games. Harrison Ford has had a much better career (I mean, he’s Indiana Jones and Han Solo), but he’s never had a performance like Bale’s in The Fighter (2010).

2- Clint Eastwood over 15- Michelle Williams- “Get off my lawn.”

Second Round

1- Denzel Washington over 9- Halle Berry- The first African-American male to win Best Actor against the first African-American female to win Best Actress? I gotta go with “My man.”

4- Brad Pitt over 5- Julia Roberts- She was good in Ocean’s 11, but he was better. “You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side.”

3- Matt Damon over 6- Anthony Hopkins- “You’re right Teddy. The ace didn’t help. I flopped the nut straight.”

2- Clint Eastwood over 10- Christian Bale- “You’ve got to ask yourself one question. “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?”

Regional Semi-Finals

1- Denzel Washington over 4- Brad Pitt- “We the only two people up. Me, you and Michael Jordan. That's the only people. Everybody else in the world is asleep.”

2- Clint Eastwood over 3- Matt Damon- “Go ahead. Make my day.”

Regional Finals

1- Denzel Washington over 2- Clint Eastwood




The Jimmy Stewart Region



First Round

1- Tom Hanks over 16- Anne Hathaway- “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.” Well, in this matchup Hanks got a cupcake.

9- Bruce Willis over 8- Samuel L. Jackson- Who’s the one that figured out the water puzzle in DieHard with a Vengeance? That’s right, John McClain.

5- Daniel Day-Lewis over 12- Daniel Craig- Day-Lewis’ (My) Left Foot (1989) is a better actor than the current version of everyone’s favorite British agent.

4- Tom Cruise over 13- Nicole Kidman- Ah, the battle of the exes. Kidman is taller and more talented, but Cruise has a better track record and puts the fannies in the seats.

6- Robert Redford over 11- John Malkovich- Hard to compete with Redford who played the Sundance Kid, started the Sundance Film Festival, and starred in two of my favorite movies of the 2000s (Spy Game (2001), The Last Castle (2001).

3- Kate Winslet over 14- Liam Neeson- Liam Neeson plays the same character in every movie that he’s in. Sure he’s a bad ass, but Winslet is extraordinarily gifted.

10- Penelope Cruz over 7- Dustin Hoffman- Hoffman’s most famous role is in The Graduate (1967) where he has an affair with his neighbor and then falls in love with her daughter. The notion that a girl would run off with a guy that had an affair with her mother is so incomprehensible to me that I’m giving the nod to Cruz.

2- Robert De Niro over 15- Benicio Del Toro- In case you were wondering, De Niro improvised one of his most famous lines (from Taxi Driver (1976), "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

Second Round

1- Tom Hanks over 9- Bruce Willis- Hanks knows the tournament motto. Survive and advance, “I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that’s what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing.”

5- Daniel Day-Lewis over 4- Tom Cruise- You “want the truth”? There Will Be Blood (2007) in this one because Day-Lewis slaughters Cruise in a Best Actor competition.

3- Kate Winslet over 6- Robert Redford- “Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.”

2- Robert De Niro over 10- Penelope Cruz- “Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.”

Regional Semi-Finals

5- Daniel Day-Lewis over 1- Tom Hanks- “Houston, we have a problem.” They don’t call him “The Butcher” (Gangs of New York) for nothing.

2- Robert De Niro over 3- Kate Winslet- If you mess with the (Raging) Bull (1980) you get the horns.

Regional Finals

2- Robert De Niro over 5- Daniel Day-Lewis- They are both supremely gifted actors, but Day-Lewis can’t touch De Niro’s portrayal of a young Vito Corleone in The Godfather II.


Final Four

2- Leonardo DiCaprio over 1- Jack Nicholson- I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't think I've seen a better acted scene than this one. I'm not sure how much credit goes to Leo and Vera Farmiga, how much credit goes to Scorsese, and how much credit goes to whoever chose the absolute perfect song to complement it all, but it's outstanding.



2- Robert De Niro over 1- Denzel Washington- They've both played a boxer (Raging Bull/The Hurricane), a gangster (Good Fellas (to pick one)/American Gangster), a concerned father (A Bronx Tale/John Q), and a neurotic, self-possesed man who thinks he's invincible (Taxi Driver/Training Day). De Niro was better in all of them.


Finals

2- Robert De Niro over 2- Leonardo DiCaprio- "Every man... every man has to go through hell to reach paradise." De Niro's just been through the wars and Leo hasn't. Guess how many Oscars Leo's has? Zero. De Niro has endured the snubs by the academy (Taxi Driver being the most notable) and has persevered. We're still waiting for Leo to completely break through.

Top 25- Actors

I always used to say that Denzel Washington and Leonardo DiCaprio were 1 and 1A when it comes to male actors. I still think the world of them both, but I don’t think it’s accurate to put them on that kind of pedestal. Case in point, Denzel hasn’t been in a good movie since Dejavu (2007) and that’s a stretch and DiCaprio has never, I repeat never, won an Academy Award. That said, I think it’s time that I accurately rank the best actors in Hollywood much like I’ve ranked the best actresses twice.

Here are the criteria that I will use:

-Talent- How good of an actor are you? Can you play multiple roles? Have you been typecast? Do your performances stand out and have a lasting impact?
-Prestige- Is your name big enough to sell a movie? Does your acting resume stack up? Have you been nominated for, or won, big time awards?
-Exposure- Do I know who your wife/girlfriend is? If so, how hot is she? Are you all over the tabloid magazines? How much are you in the public eye?
-Wealth- What kind of price tag do you have on you? What do you make per movie?
-Recent Activity- What have you done for me lately? When I hear your name can I easily recall the most recent movie that you've been in? If so, was that movie successful?

Top 25

1.) George Clooney- I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone that doesn’t like Clooney. He’s as big of a big wig as there is in Hollywood. He’s all over the news whenever it comes to actors contributing to disaster relief efforts. It’s almost unfathomable because he’s been around for so long, but I would argue that Clooney is still in his prime. His acting resume just keeps getting better. He’s been nominated for Best Actor twice (Michael Clayton (2008), Up in the Air (2010) and should garner another nom for The Descendants (2011), he’s won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor (Syriana (2005)), and he’s directed some quality films in Good Night, and Good Luck (2005) and this year’s political thriller The Ides of March (2011).

Clooney also deserves a lot of credit for his dating resume. He wisely dates attractive women that are only tangibly famous. He’s always the more famous one in the relationship, so when he runs through girlfriend after girlfriend there is no sob story from the ex because people only her as the girl that dated Clooney.



The perfect illustration of Clooney’s power and fame involves his new girlfriend and former WWE Diva Stacy Keibler. Kebiler, who I want to say was also on Dancing With The Stars, has an appearance fee of $10,000 (absurd, I know). Basically she gets paid 10 large to show up to events and be hot (she has legs for days). Since she started dating Clooney her attendance fee has increased to $25,000. That means that Stacy Keibler became 150% more famous only because Clooney’s taking her to Pound Town.

2.) Leonardo DiCaprio- Not exactly a huge drop from 1 or 1A, but as I noted earlier, Leo’s biggest weakness is that he’s never taken home the hardware at The Oscars. He’s been nominated twice for Best Actor and once for Best Supporting Actor, but has never really been in the discussion to win. It’s almost hard to believe because DiCaprio rarely swings and misses. He once ran off the following stretch in consecutive order.

Gangs of New York (2002)- nominated for Best Picture
Catch Me If You Can (2002)
The Aviator (2004)- Best Actor nomination
The Departed (2006)- won Best Picture
Blood Diamond (2006)- Best Actor nomination

His only real flop was Revolutionary Road (2008) in which he starred alongside Kate Winslet, and I actually thought it was a pretty good movie. He should garner another Best Actor nom for his portrayal of the first director of the FBI in the biopic J. Edgar (2011), but I don’t think that he’ll win. Leo is like the Indianapolis Colts from 1999-2006. They were always good, sometimes dominant, but they could never win the big one.

While Leo has never won the big one for his work on the silver screen he’s more than made up for it with his work off of the screen. He dated various models and actresses in the 90’s, but what he’s done in the past 10 years is virtually unprecedented. He dated supermodel and current Mrs. Tom Brady Giselle Bundchen from 2001-2005 when she was probably the most attractive woman in the world, then moved on to the woman that took her place in supermodel Bar Refaeli and dated her from 2005 until May of this year.



Since May Leo reportedly dated up and coming smokeshow actress Blake Lively.

3.) Brad Pitt- First and foremost, he was married to the woman that’s #2 on my list of actresses, but he upgraded and he’s now married to the woman that’s #1. Pitt has mellowed in the past few years, but he’s often thought of as one of the rock star actors. His celebrity has been off the charts for years. What gets lost in the shuffle of Pitt’s good looks and female conquests is that he’s actually a pretty good actor. He’s not great or transcendent by any means, but he’s certainly above average. He’s been nominated for two Oscars, most recently for Best Actor for his role in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008), and he’ll most likely be nominated for Best Actor for his portrayal of Billy Beane in Moneyball (2011).

4.) Sean Penn- Penn is a polished actor who’s seemingly done it all over the course of his career. From comedy (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) to mentally challenged (I Am Sam) to high drama (Mystic River) his range is just incredible. He’s the only man to win Best Actor more than once since Tom Hanks in the mid 90’s.

He’s also been married to Madonna and Robin Wright (Jenny in Forrest Gump), he’s dated Jewel, and he’s been spotted with Scarlett Johanssen. On top of all of that Penn is like the Bono of actors when it comes to political and social causes.

5.) Matt Damon- Damon is just incredibly likeable. He was the bad guy in The Departed (2006) and the first time I saw the movie I found myself rooting for him. He’s perhaps best known for his breakout performance in Good Will Hunting (1998) and The Bourne trilogy, but he’s been in plenty of other quality films. For example, Ocean’s Eleven (2001) Syriana (2005), True Grit (2010), and I really liked his performance in The Adjustment Bureau (2011).

6.) Colin Firth- His name doesn’t carry a lot of cachet, but the good natured Brit has been nominated for Best Actor in back to back years including a win for his role in The King’s Speech last year.

7.) Denzel Washington- My man. Denzel, where have you been lately? His work in Training Day (2001) and Man on Fire (2004) is iconic, but the best African American actor of all time will continue to slide down these ranking unless he gets it going again.

8.) Ryan Gosling- He’s come a long way since The Notebook (2004). You know that Gosling’s acting ability is legitimate because he’s gotten recognition for his work in indie films. He’s never really had a huge production firm totting his work. He was nominated for Best Actor in 2007 for playing a high school teacher who smokes pot in Half Nelson and he was one of the biggest Oscar snubs last year for playing a deadbeat husband opposite Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine (2010). He’s also having a great 2011 starring in the critically acclaimed action film Drive as well as playing the lead in George Clooney’s political thriller The Ides of March.



To top it all off he's reportedly been dating the sultry Eva Mendes.

9.) Javier Bardem- Bardem seemingly came out of nowhere, but it doesn’t look like he’s going away anytime soon.



He fathered a child this year with his smoking hot wife Penelope Cruz, he won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 2008 (No Country for Old Men), and he was nominated for Best Actor for his work in a film that not many people, including me, have seen (Biutiful).

10.) Johnny Depp- People love Johnny Depp. I am not one of them. Either way he gets paid a boatload of money for every movie he stars in and the public remains fascinated with him regardless of the quality of his work. He is unquestionably one of the most elite actors in Hollywood.

11.) Christian Bale- He can be the lead in a movie (American Pscyho), he can serve his purpose in a movie (The Dark Knight), and he can steal a movie with one of the best performances that I’ve ever seen (The Fighter). He’s also a hot head that I often forget is from across the pond.

12.) Jeff Bridges- What a resurgence for the dude. Bridges won Best Actor in 2010 for his role in Crazy Heart and followed it up with another Oscar nomination for Best Actor this year for his role in True Grit.

13.) Philip Seymour Hoffman- He’s won an Oscar for Best Actor (Capote), but he’s at his best in a supporting role. He was hysterical in Along Came Polly (2004), great in Oscar nominated roles in Charlie Wilson’s War (2007) and Doubt (2008), and I expect him to be fantastic in Moneyball (2011) and The Ides of March (2011).

14.) Joseph Gordon-Levitt- I hatttted him when he was on 3rd Rock From the Sun. In fact, I hated 3rd Rock From the Sun. Gordon-Levitt has come a long way since then, though. He was outstanding in (500) Days of Summer and Inception and I’ve heard nothing but positives from 50/50.

15.) Jeremy Renner- I can’t say that I’m a big fan of Renner. It’s not that I don’t like him, but the Academy seems to love him and I can’t figure it out. He was nominated for Best Actor for his role in The Hurt Locker (2009) and nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his role in The Town (2010).

16.) Robert Downey, Jr.- The only member of the Brat Pack that’s still relevant. Downey, Jr. partied hard through the 80’s, got hooked on drugs in the 90’s, and now he’s back and better than ever.

17.) Mark Wahlberg- I still can’t get over the fact that he originally broke onto the scene as a rapper, but Wahlberg has worked tirelessly to reinvent himself on multiple occasions.

18.) Ben Affleck- Don’t ask me why, but I’ve always been a huge fan of Affleck. He also gets bonus points for being married to Jennifer Garner.

19.) Viggo Mortensen- Easily the most underrated actor in Hollywood. He was awesome as Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, amazing in A History of Violence (2005), and electric in his Oscar nominated role in Eastern Promises (2008).

20.) James Franco- Franco has some serious talent and he’s driven to excel across multiple platforms. He was horrendous as a co-host of The Oscars, but his future is still bright.

21.) Liam Neeson- He’s 59 years old and I think it’s safe to say that he’s the best action star going right now.

22.) Bradley Cooper- He’s been everywhere since his breakout performance as Sack in Wedding Crashers (2005).

23.) Jamie Foxx- No, there isn’t a quota that requires me to include more than one African American on this list. Foxx is a badass. Not only is he cool, but he’s won an Oscar and he has a rap career.

24.) Ryan Reynolds- He’s funny, attractive (don’t judge me), and he’s all over People magazine and US Weekly. Reynolds makes these rankings based solely on his history with other actresses. He married Scarlet Johannssen and has been linked to Sandra Bullock and Blake Lively.

25.) Daniel Craig- This list wouldn't be complete without James Bond. That role has enough cachet to almost guarantee cultural relevance.
Others receiving votes: Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, Josh Brolin, Andrew Garfield, Jake Gyllenahll, Will Smith, James McAvoy, Jude Law, Gerard Butler, Matthew McConaughey, Jason Bateman, Edward Norton, Shia LeBouf, Daniel Dey-Lewis, Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe

Black Actors

Recently a friend of mine asked if I was planning on seeing the new Karate Kid movie. Without hesitation I replied, "Absolutely not." Apparently he thought differently of the 80's remake because he said, "Really? Jaden Smith has star written all over him."

After hearing this ridiculous claim I confidently stated that Jaden Smith would never, at any point in his life, be a top five black actor.

Who then, you ask, are the current top 5 black actors going?

1.) Denzel Washington-



55 years old, 5-time Oscar nominee (2 wins)
Best films- Glory (1989), The Pelican Brief (1993), Philadelphia (1993), He Got Game (1998), Training Day (2001), Man on Fire (2004), Inside Man (2006)

What have you done for me lately? The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 (2009), The Book of Eli (2010)

Synopsis- Even though he hasn't been nominated for an Oscar since 2001, Denzel is still THE preeminant black actor out there. He's a box office juggernaut that is easily one of the top 5 actors, of any race, going. I've said it before and I'll say it again, outside of Fallen (1998) Denzel hasn't been in a bad movie.

2.) Morgan Freeman-



73 years old, 5-time Oscar nominee (1 win)
Best films-Driving Miss Daisy (1989), The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Kiss the Girls (1997), Million Dollar Baby (2004), Gone Baby Gone (2007), The Bucket List (2007), The Dark Knight (2008)

What have you done for me lately? Invictus (2009)

Synopsis- He's getting up there in age, but Morgan Freeman can still churn 'em out with the best of them. He's evolved into the ideal supporting actor (The Dark Knight), but he can still play the leading role successfully as well (The Bucket List). Not to mention the fact that he has one of the best and most recognizable voices in all of Hollywood.


3.) Jamie Foxx -



42 years old, 2-time Oscar nominee (1 win)
Best films- Any Given Sunday (1999), Collateral (2004), Ray (2004), The Kingdom (2007)

What have you done for me lately? The Soloist (2009), Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

Synopsis- Why do I get the feeling that Jamie Foxx has yet to peak as an actor? Maybe I'm being fooled by what a cool guy he is, but Foxx seems to get better with each role. The only thing keeping him from entering that Denzel level where if he plays a cop, government agent, etc. it's a must see is Miami Vice (2006).

4.) Will Smith-



41 years old, 2-time Oscar nominee
Best films- Independence Day (1996), Men in Black (1997), Enemy of the State (1998), Hitch (2005), The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

What have you done for me lately? Seven Pounds (2008), Hancock (2008)

Synopsis- The Fresh Prince of Bel Air still puts the asses in the seats (and that's really all that matters), but I feel like he hasn't evolved as an actor. It's almost like he got comfortable playing the lead in action movies and chose not to stray too far away from that wheelhouse. Just look at his resume from the 2000's (I Am Legend, Hancock, I, Robot).

5.) Don Cheadle-



45 years old, 1-time Oscar nominee
Best films- Ocean's 11 (2001), Crash (2004), Hotel Rwanda (2004)

What have you done for me lately? Traitor (2008), Brooklyn Finest (2009)

Synopsis- I don't exactly know why, but I like Don Cheadle. He still seems like he's more of a supporting actor, so his being in this top 5 might come as a bit of surprise, but there's no questioning his talent.


Best of the rest (in no particular order)- Djimon Hounsou, Samuel L. Jackson, Forest Whitaker, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Terrence Howard, and Laurence Fishburne.

With Will Smith as the youngest member of my list, did I jump the gun when I said that his son Jaden would never achieve top 5 status?

Leading Role: Kate Winslet

I don't think there's really much debate. The six-time Academy Award nominee (one win- The Reader (2008)) is currently the best actress in Hollywood. If there was an acting Hall of Fame (and there should be) Winslet would be in on the first ballot. Her body of work, especially her versatility in terms of the characters that she plays, is simply incredible. There is no typecasting her. In that respect, (keeping the sports analogy going) she is like a five tool baseball player.

While there is no doubting the acting ability of Hollywood's number one leading lady, I must say that I do question her looks. I almost included her in my recent Hot or Not post, but I think the overwhelming majority would have leaned towards not. Now that isn't to say that she isn't an attractive woman. She certainly has her moments and is more of the elegant beauty type, but hot would not be a word to describe her. She's just a little thick (maybe too negative of a connotation, but I think you get my point) and apparently she has huge feet (size 11). That all being said, she certainly isn't shy about baring it all. In fact, she appears naked in Titanic, Little Children (if memory serves), and The Reader and had this to say about doing nude scenes back in 2002, "I like exposing myself. There's not an awful lot that embarrasses me. I'm the kind of actress that absolutely believes in exposing myself."

Perhaps my favorite part about Winslet is her friendship with Leonardo DiCaprio. I can't even think of a comparison for this friendship. Winslet, like I said, is hands down the best actress going right now and Leo is arguably the best actor. In fact, I was recently asked my top five actors and I responded with Denzel, DiCaprio, Penn, Phillip Seymour-Hoffman, and Matt Damon (Clooney is probably six and Tom Hanks and Daniel Dey Lewis are both still awesome, but they are past their prime). Anyway, as I'm sure you well know, Winslet and DiCaprio burst onto the scene together in James Cameron's Titanic back in 1997. Apparently the two have remained close ever since. They are so close, in fact, that Winslet's two children refer to DiCaprio as Uncle Leo (HELLO).

Okay, so now it's time to decide which of Winslet's roles is her finest. By now you should know the drill, but if you don't here it is. Let's assume that Winslet decides to pull a Joaquin Phoenix and walk away from acting. If that were to happen, which of her roles would be considered her best? Which role would be the one where she put it all together? Which role would she most be remembered for (I fear that this one is already decided no matter what she does for the rest of her career)?

The nominees are.....

1.) Rose in Titanic (1997)



In this incredibly long and anticlimactic film, Winslet plays a young socialite aboard the ill-fated ship who meets and falls in love with a lower class boy (DiCaprio) over the course of a few chance encounters.

Most Memorable Lines:

Jack: This is crazy.
Rose: I know. It doesn't make any sense. That's why I trust it.

Molly Brown: Hey, uh, who thought of the name Titanic? Was it you, Bruce?
Ismay: Yes, actually. I wanted to convey sheer size, and size means stability, luxury, and above all, strength.
Rose: Do you know of Dr. Freud, Mr. Ismay? His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you.

Rose: I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste. I can't imagine Monsieur Monet blushing.
Jack: He does landscapes.

Ruth: You're not to see that boy again. Do you understand me? Rose, I forbid it.
Rose: Oh stop it, mother. You'll give yourself a nose bleed.

Synopsis: This role notched Winslet her second Academy Award nomination (the youngest to do so) and really put her on the map. It's probably the role that she is most known for because until yesterday Titanic was the highest grossing film of all time, but I don't think it's her best performance.

Fun fact- I had not seen Titanic in its entirety until June of 2008.


2.) Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)



In this film Winslet plays a carefree, commitment shy girl who dyes her hair and undergoes a procedure to erase her ex-boyfriend (played by Jim Carrey) from her memory after their relationship goes south.

Most Memorable Lines:

Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.

Clementine: Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter.

Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.

Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.

Synopsis: Of all of her roles Winslet has said that this one is her favorite. It earned her an Oscar nomination and showcased her versatility as an actress. Clementine is a fucked up girl whose need to be independent pushes her away from those that get close to her and Winslet nailed it. Not only is Eternal Sunshine wildly underrated as a movie, but so too is Winslet's portrayal of Clementine in it.


3.) Sylvia in Finding Neverland (2004)



In this film Winslet plays the widowed mother of three boys who begin spending a significant amount of time with J.M. Barrie (played by Johnny Depp) even though society condemns him for it (because he's married). Her character (Sylvia) develops a fatal disease, but she enjoys Barrie's relationship with her and her boys until she passes away.

Most Memorable Lines:

J.M. Barrie: They can see it, you know. You can't go on just pretending.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: Just pretending? You brought pretending into this family, James. You showed us we can change things by simply believing them to be different.
J.M. Barrie: A lot of things, Sylvia. Not everything.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: But the things that matter. We've pretended for some time now that you're a part of this family, haven't we? You've come to mean so much to us all that now, it doesn't matter if it's true. And even if it isn't true, even if that can never be... I need to go on pretending... until the end... with you.

J.M. Barrie: I think it was the first time she ever actually looked at me, and that was the end of the boy James. I used to say to myself he'd gone to Neverland.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: Where?
J.M. Barrie: Neverland. It's a wonderful place... I've not spoken about this before to anyone- ever.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: What's it like, Neverland?
J.M. Barrie: One day I'll take you there.

Synopsis: I think it's safe to say that this isn't her best role, but it might be the best movie that she's been in (and she's been in some very good movies). The movie is driven by J.M. Barrie's relationship with the kids. Syliva just so happens to be their mother.


4.) Hanna Schmitz in The Reader (2008)



In this post WWII film (of course Ralph Fiennes is in it) Winslet plays a German woman who has an affair with a young boy (highschool age). Years later, she is on trial for her involvement as a guard in a Nazi concentration camp and the now older boy can't make sense of it.

Most Memorable Line:

Hanna Schmitz: It doesn't matter what I feel. It doesn't matter what I think. The dead are still dead.

Synopsis: It's hard to believe that this is the role that finally won her the Academy Award for Best Actress, but I think it's safe to say that the award was long overdue. Winslet definitely delivers in a naive, confused, yet oddly desirous and quietly thankful sort of way (if you've seen the movie that should make sense), but I thought she was much better in the next film.


5.) April Wheeler in Revolutionary Road (2008)



In this film Winslet plays a housewife living in Connecticut in the 1950's who suddenly isn't satisfied with the suburban life that she thought she wanted.

Most Memorable Lines:

April Wheeler: So now I'm crazy because I don't love you, right? Is that the point?
Frank Wheeler: No! Wrong! You're not crazy, and you do love me. That's the point, April.
April Wheeler: But I don't. I hate you. You were just some boy who made me laugh at a party once, and now I loathe the sight of you. In fact, if you come any closer, if you touch me or anything, I think I'll scream.

April Wheeler: Look at us. We're just like everyone else. We've bought into the same, ridiculous delusion. This idea that you have to settle down and resign from life.

April Wheeler: Tell me the truth, Frank, remember that? We used to live by it. And you know what's so good about the truth? Everyone knows what it is however long they've lived without it. No one forgets the truth, Frank, they just get better at lying.

Synopsis: I am still flabergasted as to how this movie, and Winslet's subsequent role in it, got punked by the Academy. Winslet won the Golden Globe for Best Actress for this role, yet she wasn't nominated in the same category at the Oscars? Winslet is off the charts good in this film. She captures the volatility of a housewife yearning for more in an explosive way. As April Wheeler she is both equally rational and irrational and content and discontent. I've said before that when I first saw this movie I felt as if Winslet and DiCaprio were going back and forth trying to out act (steal the show) from each other. That being said, I think Winslet, hands down, came out on top. To me this is her opus magnum. The only problem is that she didn't get enough recognition from the big boy critics for the masses to take notice.



My apologies to Winslet's other great roles in Sense and Sensibility (1995), Iris (2002) and The Life of David Gale (2003) because I have not yet seen them, although let the record show that The Life of David Gale is in my Netflix queue.

Leading Role: Denzel Washington

I've said it about 1000 times, but I will say it again. The best two actors of our generation are Leonardo DiCaprio and Denzel Washington. If I had to rate all the actors in Hollywood those two would be 1 and 1a. DiCaprio is awesome because of his versatility and the fact that he's slamming arguably the hottest chick on the planet. Denzel is great because he's transcended crime dramas from both sides of the coin. In fact, he's so good that I root for him even if he plays the criminal (American Gangster (2008)).

That being said, which Denzel role is his finest? He's won two Oscars. One for Best Supporting Actor for his role in the Civil War drama Glory (1989) and one for Best Actor for his role in Training Day (2001), which I'll cover momentarily. The real question here though is what movie do you immediately think of when you see Denzel? If he were to retire from acting today, which movie role would he be most remembered for?

To better gauge your response, here are the nominees:


1.) Gray Grantham in The Pelican Brief (1993)



This is probably the best Denzel movie out there that most of you haven't heard of. In the film, which is based on a novel by John Grisham, Denzel plays an investigative journalist who catches wind of law student's theory about why 2 U.S. Supreme Court Justices were murdered. As he and the law student, played by Julia Roberts, uncover more pieces to the puzzle their lives become increasingly more in danger.

Most Memorable Lines:

Darby Shaw: Everyone I have told about the brief is dead.
Gray Grantham: I’ll take my chances.

Justice Rosenberg: Any of those signs got my name on 'em?
Gray Grantham: Quite a few.
Justice Rosenberg: What do they say?
Gray Grantham: The usual: Death to Rosenberg, Retire Rosenberg, Cut off the oxygen.
Justice Rosenberg: [laughs] That's my favorite. Of course you, Mr Grantham, did pretty good by me your last time out: Rosenberg equals the government over business, the individual over government, the environment over everything. And the Indians? Oh, give 'em whatever they want.
Gray Grantham: Well with all due respects sir, that wasn't my line, that was a quote.

Edwin Newman: Where is Darby Shaw?
Gray Grantham: I think that's also a question for Darby Shaw, but I know that she's not available to answer questions as long as this "feed frenzy" continues.
Edwin Newman: Does that mean that you don't know where she is?
Gray Grantham: No I didn't say that.
Edwin Newman: Then you do know...
Gray Grantham: [laughs]
Edwin Newman: I, I take it this cryptic smile means you'll not answer...
Gray Grantham: [smirking uncontrollably]
Edwin Newman: Okay Gray, you know that in view of all this, you know that there's a lot of speculation that this woman is a figment of your imagination. That you created her, from a lot of different sources. Just as there are people who believe there was no Deep Throat, there are those who believe that there is no Darby Shaw. In other words, she's just too good to be true.
Gray Grantham: She almost is.

Synopsis: This role probably isn't Denzel's finest, but it definitely solidified his status as a leading man in Hollywood. This film is the first time that we see Denzel's extraordinary ability to excel in crime related dramas/thrillers.


2.) Jake Shuttlesworth in He Got Game (1998)



In this Spike Lee joint, Denzel plays the convict father of the best high school basketball player in the country (Ray Allen). The governor lets him out of prison for one week in the hopes that he can convince his son to attend my favorite fictitious college, Big State University(the governor's alma mater).

Most Memorable Lines:

Jake Shuttlesworth: That's right. Come on, come on. Work, baby. You got to work harder than the next man, right? It's the will of the man; it ain't the skill of the man. He can't play you. He can't do nothing with you! We the only two people up. Me, you and Michael Jordan. That's the only people. Everybody else in the world is asleep. What you think Jordan doing right now? He lifting weights right now.

Jesus Shuttlesworth: I hate my name. What kind of name is Jesus anyway?
Jake Shuttlesworth: It's biblical.

Jesus Shuttlesworth: God ain't shit!
Jake Shuttlesworth: Number one, why you gotta use this kinda language? What you some kinda heathen now? You don't make no mistakes? You be out here shootin', but you don't miss no shots ever? EVER? People make mistakes! People veer off the path! God forgives them!
Jesus Shuttlesworth: Has God forgiven you for killing my mother?
Jake Shuttlesworth: I pray that he has, son. I believe he has. When will you?

Jake Shuttlesworth: I pray you understand why I pushed you so hard! It was only to get you to that next level, Son. I mean, you's the first Shuttlesworth that's ever gonna make it out of these projects, and I was the one who who put the ball in your hand, Son! I put the ball in your crib!

Jake Shuttlesworth: I want you to go to Big State, Son. Jesus Shuttlesworth: Aw, Man, you just like everybody else.
Jake Shuttlesworth: No I'm not like everyone else, Son. Everyone else ain't your father.

Synopsis: Although this is an awesome movie (especially because former SU great John Wallace is in it), I don't think it's Denzel's signature role. Maybe it's me, but I just think Denzel is better when he's on the side of law enforcement.


3.) Alonzo Harris in Training Day (2001)



In ths Oscar winning role Denzel plays a twisted LAPD narcotics detective who shows a young up and comer (Ethan Hawke) the ropes of the day to day operations of his job. The street savvy detective shows the young cop how he bends the rules of the law to achieve street justice, but eventually his corrupt ways catch up to him.

Most Memorable Lines:

Alonzo Harris: Today's a training day, Officer Hoyt. Show you around, give you a taste of the business. I got 38 cases pending trial, 63 in active investigations, another 250 on the log I can't clear. I supervise five officers. That's five different personalities. Five sets of problems. You can be number six if you act now. But I ain't holding no hands, okay? I ain't baby-sitting. You got today and today only to show me who and what you're made of. You don't like narcotics, get the fuck out of my car. Go get you a nice, pussy desk job, chasing bad checks or something, you hear me?

Alonzo Harris: My nigga.

Jake Hoyt: That's street justice.
Alonzo Harris: What's wrong with street justice?
Jake Hoyt: Oh, what, so just let the animals wipe themselves out, right?
Alonzo Harris: God willing. Fuck 'em, and everybody that looks like 'em.

Alonzo Harris: It behoves you not to dick around on this one. Justifiable homicide in the line of duty? What happened was...
Jake Hoyt: What happened was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?
Alonzo Harris: Open your eyes, son. Can't you see?
Jake Hoyt: That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.
Alonzo Harris: Why is he my friend, because he knows my first name? Roger sold dope to kids. The world is a better place without him. This man was the biggest major violator in Los Angeles. This is the game. I'm playing his ass. That's my job. That's your job. I watched that cocksucker operate with impunity for over 10 years, and now I got him. The shit's chess, it ain't checkers. What, we all of a sudden gonna roll up in a black-and-white? Come on, man, take the money.
Jake Hoyt: I told you, I'm not gonna take that money.
Alonzo Harris: All right, burn it, barbecue it, fish-fry it, I don't give a fuck. But the boys'll feel better about it.
Jake Hoyt: Fuck their feelings.
Alonzo Harris: You're not making them feel like you're part of the team.
Jake Hoyt: The team? You guys are fuckin' insane. All right, I'll go back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it have to be this way?
Alonzo Harris: I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta have a little dirt on you for anybody to trust you.

Alonzo Harris: To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

Alonzo Harris: Aww, you motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Huh. You think you can do this shit... Jake. You think you can do this to me? You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you. SHU program, nigga. 23 hour lockdown. I'm the man up in this piece. You'll never see the light of... who the fuck do you think you're fucking with? I'm the police, I run shit around here. You just live here. Yeah, that's right, you better walk away. Go on and walk away... 'cause I'm gonna' burn this motherfucker down. King Kong ain't got shit on me. That's right, that's right. Shit, I don't, fuck. I'm winning anyway, I'm winning... I'm winning any motherfucking way. I can't lose. Yeah, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me.

Synopsis: The first time I saw this movie I wasn't exactly blown away by Denzel's performance, but the second time I watched it I saw why he won the Oscar. Is this his best? Some say yes, but I'm not so sure. As you know, I'm the whitest kid in America, but I think I agree with what the rapper Jadakiss said in his song "Why".

"Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get a Oscar
Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it."


4.) Creasy in Man on Fire (2004)



In this film Denzel plays a retired CIA operative (do I even have to say anything else?) that is hired to protect the daughter of wealthy couple in Mexico City. He forms a strong bond with the girl (Dakota Fanning) and after she is kidnapped he goes on an absolute rampage of vengeance.

Most Memorable Lines:

Elderly Man: In the church, they say to forgive.
Creasy: Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.

Lisa: What are you gonna do?
Creasy: What I do best. I'm gonna kill 'em. Anyone that was involved. Anybody who profited from it. Anybody who opens their eyes at me.

Creasy: The gunshot holds no fear, say it.
Pita: The gunshot holds no fear.
Creasy: You welcome the sound. In fact it's the sound that sets you free. You are a prisoner on this block until that sound sets you free.

Creasy: Okay, my friend. It's off to the next life for you. I guarantee you, you won't be lonely.

Creasy: Do you know what this is? It’s a charger used by convicts to hide money and drugs they tuck it up their rectum. This is pencil detonator, timer, used as a receiver from the pager. This is C4 highly explosive; you put it all together you've got a bomb, not very sophisticated, but very powerful.
Creasy: [whispers in his ear] That's what you have in your ass right now.

Synopsis: Could you see anyone else playing this role? I know I couldn't. Denzel shows us the full range of emotions as Creasy. He goes from a disgruntled former CIA operative with no reason to live to a caring bodyguard/father figure type to a vindictive, cold hearted killer all within 2 and a half hours. The only thing this role lacks is a romantic element, but the lack of one only enhances how badass the character is.


5.) Detective Keith Frazier in Inside Man (2006)



In this Spike Lee joint Denzel plays a hostage negotiator who is called into duty when a NYC bank is hijacked by a slew of robbers. When the conventional methods of negotiating go awry, Denzel's character decides to enter the bank and confront the hijacker face to face.

Most Memorable Lines:

Dalton Russell: Soon I'm gonna be sucking down piña coladas in a hot tub with six girls named Amber and Tiffany.
Keith Frazier: No, it's more like in the shower with two guys named Jamal and Jesus... and here's the bad news; that thing you're sucking on? It's not a piña colada!

Keith Frazier: Alright, I've got them right where I want 'em.
Det. Bill Mitchell: Where's that?
Keith Frazier: Right behind me with my pants around my ankles, but it's a start.

Keith Frazier: Oh, please, do not say proposals... my girlfriend... she wants a proposal from me.
Dalton Russell: You think you're too young to get married?
Keith Frazier: No, I'm not too young... too broke. Maybe I should rob a bank.
Dalton Russell: Do you love each other?
Keith Frazier: Yeah, yeah, we do.
Dalton Russell: Then money shouldn't really matter.
Keith Frazier: Thank you, bank robber!

Keith Frazier: Sorry to interrupt you, Mister Mayor, but there's an old American saying: When there's blood on the streets, somebody's gotta go to jail.

Madeliene White: Well detective, there are matters at stake here that are a little bit above your pay grade. No offense.
Keith Frazier: Well, why don't you just tell the mayor to raise my pay grade to the proper level, and problem solved.

Synopsis: Denzel is in his wheelhouse as a hostage negotiator in this movie, but I think Clive Owen outshines him a little bit. Either way, it's a fntastic movie. I particularly enjoy the word play involved in the movie's title.

My Man

ESPN.com writer Bill Simmons once wrote, "The best part of my year is when I get an email from one of my best friends with the subject line, Vegas?"Dare I say that I just had a similar feeling after checking my inbox and seeing an email from one of my best friends with the subject line, 'DENZEL WASHINGTON'? While the contents of the email were not nearly as cool as a trip to Vegas, they are still blog worthy. Basically anything involving Denzel is.



Apparently Denzel and his family recently paid a visit to an army hospital (the Brook Army Medical Center (BAMC)) in San Antonio. The hospital is for recovering American soldiers. Most of the inhabitants are burn victims. On the grounds of the hospital are what are known as Fisher Houses, which are for the families of the injured soldiers to stay during the recuperation process. The hospital charges only a minimal fee for the families to stay in these houses, but the demand for them severely outweighs the number of them that are available.



After touring one of these houses, Denzel, according to this email that has been forwarded a number of times, asked how much it would cost to build one. Once he was given a price he took out his checkbook and wrote a check to the hospital for that very amount right then and there.



Now the creator of the original email (evidently someone in the military) wants to know why this story did not get picked up by the national media. Now he/or she is all hot and bothered that Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, etc. get all this attention for their efforts abroad and Denzel's actions go unnoticed. Personally I think it's great that Denzel's efforts didn't attract any media coverage. It shows that he doesn't care about being noticed for his actions of good will.


This one looks like it's right out of a movie

Sure, other celebrities (and many athletes) show their support for our troops/help out around the community for selfish reasons. They probably show up for 10 minutes, take a few pictures and bask in the positive press. Now I love the NBA, but I question how many of its players can read, let alone read to kids. All in all, this story just reaffirms my view of Denzel as a true American hero, on and off the silver screen.

Gaydar

Last Friday one of my good friends from college celebrated his 6th year anniversary with his girlfriend and if that doesn't scream cover up, I don't know what does. Seriously? Six years? I don't have a clue as to what any female I spoke with six years ago is currently doing.

Just imagine the changes that you have gone through in the past 2191 days. Think about all the people that you've hooked up with in that span. I'm pretty sure that my friend and his girlfriend have never even fought in all this time. Now of course I've met this girlfriend many times and she's an absolute sweetheart and my friend is one of the nicest kids going to, but it's not humanly possible to not fight with someone for six whole years. This fact got me thinking, and once I thought about it long enough, the evidence began to snowball.

Try this on for size. He's 5'10 and 160 pounds soaking wet. He is extremely neat and organized. He gets along with every female he's ever come in contact with. He dresses like a metro sexual. He's the lead singer of a pop rock band. He revels in getting naked in front of other men. On Spring Break he brought a gay man back to our condo. And he's quick to have (I wish I was kidding) small dick contests with other guys.

Here is the music video for one of his band's songs. Remember that he is the lead singer. (The text in the middle of the screen for the first minute might be the only thing gayer than him)



Now in the video you may have noticed him with this Colombian man, who I suspect was one of his many lovers.



This helps validate one of my many long held beliefs about gay people. Now I'm not sure about the percentages and it probably isn't even close to 50%, but doesn't it seem like there is an extraordinary amount of interracial gay couples? Most of these being between a white male and a Hispanic male. I'm not really sure where this belief is grounded, but here's two examples from the world of popular culture to help my case.

Cedric and Bob





Tom Hanks and Antonio Banderas in Philadelphia (It's a Denzel movie, get off me)



So what do you think? Is he gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that.