As 2011 comes to a close it’s only appropriate for a “Best of” blog post to end the year. Not a “Best of” the blog (although that’d be awesome), but a best of the year in pop culture and to be honest with you, I don’t think 2011 was that great for entertainment. Below are a few bright spots in what I think was a rather disappointing year.
Best Movie of the Year that I saw- The Adjustment Bureau
A political figure (Matt Damon) is destined for greatness until he meets a woman (Emily Blunt) in a men’s bathroom who will throw him off track. The Adjustment Bureau, or angels behind the scenes that serve the world’s best interest, get him back on the righteous path (I didn’t notice the religious undertones until just now), but he can’t forget her. Matt Damon’s character eventually becomes aware of The Bureau and does everything he can to reunite with Blunt. That’s probably not the best endorsement for something that I’ve billed as the best movie of the year, but once you accept the plot (there are hats, doors, maps, etc.) you’ll notice that Damon and Blunt are truly fantastic together. Their on screen chemistry was off the charts. Blunt was also sneaky hot in that I don't remember her from anything else. I’m admittedly a sucker for movies that involve powerful political figures, but The Adjustment Bureau is a great film and I would recommend it to anyone.
I also enjoyed- Crazy, Stupid, Love, The Descendants, The Ides of March
I want to see- Drive, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moneyball, The Artist
Best TV Show of the Year- Parks and Recreation
I used to watch every show on NBC’s Thursday night comedy lineup except for Parks and Recreation. For some reason Amy Poehler didn’t strike me as all that funny. However, two years ago a buddy at work repeatedly told me that Parks and Rec is the funniest show on television. It took about a year and a half, but I finally gave it a chance and it’s now one of my favorite shows of all time.
Here is Newsweek’s recap of what Parks and Rec did in 2011:
Parks and Recreation captures the spirit of optimism and hope, embodied by the dynamic and determined Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler), who found herself tiptoeing into an illicit relationship with her boss, Ben (Adam Scott), and running for local political office. With wit and intelligence, Parks and Recreation painted a Springfieldian portrait of fictional small-town Americana—the Harvest Festival, anyone?—with incredible nuance, offering up a series of characters that are endearingly flawed and adorably sympathetic. In a season overflowing with “manxiety” comedy, there’s something refreshing about a show whose central relationship is between two female friends (Poehler and Rashida Jones), a will-they-won’t-they couple who unexpectedly tie the knot, an unrepentant libertarian (in Nick Offerman’s beloved Ron Swanson), and a protagonist who longs for the rewards of public service. Add in sex scandals, allusions to birthers, and Li’l Sebastian, and you have the makings of a show that’s perfection on a weekly basis. There’s a sweetness and energizing spirit to Parks and Recreation—and to Leslie herself—that sets it apart from the more darker, sarcastic shows in the current television landscape, offering an oasis that feels, remarkably, like coming home.
I also enjoyed- Friday Night Lights, Community, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Boardwalk Empire
I want to see- Homeland, Breaking Bad (Season 4)
Best Song of the Year
For help in determining the best song of the year I will consult three reputable sources. Entertainment Weekly, Billboard, and Rolling Stone because I’ve been out of tune with the music industry for a while. Plus I was recently in Texas and the only thing I’ve listened to since is Country.
Entertainment Weekly's Best Singles of 2011
1. Nicki Minaj -- "Super Bass"
2. Foster the People -- "Pumped Up Kicks"
3. The Throne feat. Frank Ocean -- "No Church in the Wild"
4. Lana Del Rey -- "Video Games"
5. Beyoncé -- "Countdown"
6. Wild Flag -- "Romance"
7. Britney Spears -- "I Wanna Go"
8. Colbie Caillat -- "Brighter Than the Sun"
9. Foo Fighters -- "Walk"
10. Kelly Clarkson -- "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"
Billboard's 10 Best Songs of 2011
1. Nicki Minaj -- "Super Bass"
2. Adele -- "Someone Like You"
3. Britney Spears -- "Till the World Ends"
4. The Throne -- "N----s in Paris"
5. Kelly Rowland feat. Lil Wayne -- "Motivation"
6. Frank Ocean -- "Novacane"
7. Bon Iver -- "Holocene"
8. Lady Gaga -- "The Edge of Glory"
9. Chris Brown -- "Look at Me Now"
10. Adele -- "Rolling in the Deep"
Rolling Stone’s Top 10 Singles of 2011
1. Adele -- “Rolling in the Deep”
2. Jay-Z and Kanye West -- “Ni**as in Paris”
3. Britney Spears -- “Till the World Ends”
4. Foo Fighters -- “These Days”
5. Paul Simon -- “Rewrite”
6. Radiohead -- “Lotus Flower”
7. Lady Gaga -- “The Edge of Glory”
8. Beyonce -- “Countdown”
9. Lil Wayne feat. Cory Gunz -- “Six Foot Seven Foot”
10. The Decemberists -- “Don’t Carry it All”
I like Nicki Minaj, but I have a hard time giving the award to “Super Bass” after an 8 year old white girl performed it virtually on repeat for a month (this clip was everywhere). I’m not a fan of this Adele chick even though girls cream themselves to her. I can’t give the award to Jay-Z and Kanye after they decided to remove the letter “z” from the word crazy. I like the Foo Fighters song “These Days”, but I’ve only heard it 2-3 times. Feel free to judge me, but I think Lady Gaga was the artist of the year. She must be putting crack in her songs or something because they are catchy as hell. I actually enjoy most of her songs, so I’ll give “The Edge of Glory” my song of the year honors because it seems to be her most critically acclaimed hit of 2011.
I also enjoyed- Chris Young- “Home”, Kenny Chesney feat. Grace Potter- “You and Tequila”, Coldplay- “Paradise”
Best Book I read - “a visit from the goon squad” by Jennifer Egan
In case you’re keeping track at home this is two years in a row that my favorite book of the year has been written by a woman. I can’t point to 2-3 reasons why I enjoyed the book so much. I just did. I bought it because the back of the book said it was an inside look at the music industry. It’s not, but the writing is tremendous. It’s a hard book to sum up, so I found a review online and within the first paragraph the reviewer wrote, “This is a difficult book to summarize.” It’s basically about a big shot record producer who used to be in a punk rock band as a twentysomething and all the people around him at various points in his life. The book is not linear. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It jumps around from decade to decade. Each chapter is like its own story, but it’s tangentially related to the previous one. The discontinuity does not hinder the overall narrative. I would argue that it actually enhances it.
Here is a portion of the review from The Observer:
Goon Squad is a book about memory and kinship, time and narrative, continuity and disconnection, in which relationships shift and recombine kaleidoscopically. It is neither a novel nor a collection of short stories, but something in between: a series of chapters featuring interlocking characters at different points in their lives, whose individual voices combine to a create a symphonic work that uses its interconnected form to explore ideas about human interconnectedness. This is a difficult book to summarize, but a delight to read, gradually distilling a medley out of its polyphonic, sometimes deliberately cacophonous voices.
Everyone in the book is pushed around by time, circumstance and, occasionally, the ones they love, as Egan reveals with great elegance and economy the wobbly arcs of her characters' lives, their painful pasts and future disappointments. Characters who are marginal in one chapter become the focus of the next; the narrative alternates not only between first-person and third-person accounts, but – perhaps just because she can – Egan throws in a virtuosic second-person story as well, in which a suicidal young man tells his tale to a colloquial "you". She also shifts dramatically across times and places: punk teenagers in 1970s San Francisco become disillusioned adults in the suburbs of 1990s New York; their children grow up in an imagined, slightly dystopic future in the California desert, or attend a legendary concert at "The Footprint", where the Twin Towers used to be, sometime in the 2020s.
I also enjoyed- Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and 20 Under 40: Stories From The New Yorker
*None of the books I mentioned were published in 2011, although 2 were published in 2010. I just read them in 2011.
As an avid TV junkie I’m sad to report that we lost one of the best television shows going last Friday. After five seasons NBC’s Friday Night Lights came to a close. As disappointing as it is that the series is now over it’s amazing that it lasted as long as it did, especially if you consider that it started as a book then became a movie and was then adapted for television. Seriously, how many ideas are successful in all three formats?
I’ll be the first to admit that I was a Friday Night Lights doubter from day one. I didn’t enjoy the movie when I originally saw it in theaters (I liked it a lot better the 2nd time, but probably because of the TV show connections), sports related TV shows never work, and after watching five minutes of an early episode it just came across as the most overdramatized show in the history of television with all the last second finishes, etc. One of my college roommates was a big fan from the get go and I used to rip on him all the time for it (my apologies Kess).
However, throughout the course of the next few years I heard more and more positive reviews and decided to give the show a try mainly because I could watch the first two seasons online thanks to my Netflix account. It didn’t take long for me to get hooked. I soon started DVR’ing the new episodes and I watched all the way through the series finale.
Friday Night Lights probably won’t go down as one of the best television shows in history (it finally picked up an Emmy nomination for Best Drama Series), but I think it was wildly underrated and underappreciated.
Here are a handful of reasons why I think the show worked:
1.) It wasn’t about football- If you only watched the previews you would think that the show was mainly about a football team and their games every week, but in reality the football itself was largely secondary. In most episodes football scenes were limited to 5-6 minutes at max. The show was really about the football loving town of Dillon, Texas and the Taylor family’s participation in it. It was about relationships, growing up, getting back on the right track, learning through failure, worrying about your future, and family.
For example, the coach/quarterback relationship was amplified because the quarterback dated the coach’s daughter. Things like that made the plot more about real life as opposed to just football.
2.) There were likeable, flawed characters-
Eric Taylor- One of the reasons I decided to give the show a try (aside from the added level of convenience provided by Netflix) was because of Kyle Chandler, who played the main character and head football coach Eric Taylor. I have enjoyed Taylor’s work ever since he played the lead character, Gary Hobson, on CBS’ Early Edition. That was one of the first night time dramas that I ever watched. On the show Chandler’s character ran a bar in Chicago and got tomorrow’s newspaper today, so he would spend most of his time helping people avoid tragedies, etc.
On Friday Night Lights Chandler was the young, upstart coach who was considered an offensive mastermind (another reason I took to his character). He also served as the moral majority for his family, his football players, and sometimes even the town. He always knew what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. That said, he was nothing without his wife, Tami.
Tami Taylor- Connie Britton, who played Michael J. Fox’s initial love interest on Spin City before Heather Locklear showed up, was one of the few carry overs from the movie (the man who played Buddy Garrity is another). She played opposite Billy Bob Thornton in the film, but her chemistry with Chandler was off the charts. On the show she played a guidance counselor turned principal turned back to guidance counselor and she largely served those roles outside of her job. Tami Taylor was always helping kids get in college, work through problems at home, and she said “Ya’ll” about 4463837 times per episode. She was also sneaky hot. Her tangible connection with her husband drove the show. The way they made things work from problem to problem and hurdle to hurdle is probably one of the biggest takeaways from the show.
Tim Riggins
I would argue that Tim Riggins, played by Taylor Kitsch, is one of the greatest most well liked television characters of all time. Female viewers loved him because he’s a stud and male viewers loved him for his I don’t give a fuck attitude. He essentially just boozed his face off, dominated football games, and hooked up with any girl that he wanted to. He was also loyal to a fault, down to earth, and respectful. What I loved most about Riggins is that he referred to others by the number that they wore in football (“Last game 7.” “Seven’s back in town?”) and everytime he was at a party he said something to the effect of, “Let’s make some memories.” Let me be the first (probably not the first) and certainly not the last to say that it’s going to be very odd to see him play any other role in the future.
3.) Hot chicks- You can’t go wrong with eye candy and Friday Night Lights certainly didn’t disappoint. Aimee Teegarden, Adrianne Palicki, and Minka Kelly made the show a whole lot more aesthetically pleasing to watch.
4.) Theme music- If I’ve said it once I’ve said it 1000 times. Friday Night Lights had the best opening theme song of any television show that I’ve ever seen. Basically the show would just start with a scene or two for 4-5 minutes, a level of drama would build, and then boom. Opening music. It got me every time.
5.) Not afraid to usher in a new class- Television shows about highschool always fall into the same trap. If they are successful, and that’s a big if, they go out of their way to avoid the logical progression of time. If the main characters are juniors in high school in Season 1 they should be in college by Season 3. Most shows don’t do this though because by Season 3 their stars are recognizable and have contributed significantly to the success of the show. They feel compelled to keep them around as long as possible because starting over is an incredibly leap of faith not to mention virtually unheard of.
The core group of characters on Friday Night Lights began Season 1 as sophomores in highschool. Season 4 began with a new core group of young actors and they gradually faded the old characters out of the plot. By sticking to a feasible timeline Friday Night Lights earned some major bonus points in my eyes. It should be noted that I think they were able to do this because, like I’ve said, the relationship between Eric and Tami Taylor is what drove the show.
While those points all contributed to the show’s success there must be a reason why the show was cancelled. What led to Friday Night Lights’ downfall?
1.) To be blunt, nobody watched. I think NBC made a big mistake by feeling obligated to air the show on Friday nights just because of the show’s name. No one, with a life, watches television on Friday nights. In that respect, this show was almost set up to fail from the get go. I would contend that if the show aired on Tuesday or Wednesday it would almost certainly be preparing for Season 6.
2.) The show was incredibly dramatic. If you were a fan of the show you almost took it with a grain of salt. You knew going into it that certain plot lines, game highlights, etc. would be wayyy over the top, but the good far outweighed the bad. That said, I think the Dillon Panthers and West Dillon Lions combined for about 32 last second wins over the course of 5 seasons.
3.) Some of the plot lines were just brutal. For example: Landry and Tyra killing that guy in Season 2. Jason Street trying to become an agent, flip houses, etc.
The other day a buddy of mine mentioned (in an email chain) that the new Jake Gyllenhaal/Anne Hathaway movie Love and Other Drugs is "the best chick flick of all time," which of course got me thinking about what the best chick flicks of all time actually are. Now I have yet to see this film, although I will say that it is 1 of 4 movies that either have been recently released or will soon be released that I want to see (the others being How Do You Know (another chick flick), The Black Swan, and The King's Speech), so I can't include it on these rankings just yet, but I have a feeling it will compare very favorably to a few of the following.
As far as chick flicks go, the criteria to be considered one is pretty ambigious. I'll let Wikipedia explain, "Generally, a chick flick is a film designed to have an innate appeal to women, typically young women. Defining a film a chick flick is, as the New York Times has stated, more of a parlor game than a science. These films are generally held in popular culture as having formulaic, paint-by-numbers plot lines and characters. Some frequent elements of chick flicks include having a female protagonist, thematic use of the color pink (along with metaphorical allusions of the color), and romance and/or dating based storylines. Longtime producer Jerry Bruckheimer has remarked about the plots as "How do you cope with money and love?"
For our purposes I've decided to not include any movies that have garnered attention from the Academy Awards. Those movies (I'm looking at you Titanic) are dramas.
And now, without further ado, the top 10 chick flicks of all time that guys could easily put up with/might secretly enjoy.
1.) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)- An intriguing plot where a magazine columnist (Kate Hudson) dates a guy and does everything imaginable to get dumped in 10 days, but little does she know that the guy (Matthew McConaughey) made a bet that he could get her to fall in love with him in 10 days.
Also, not for nothing, Kate Hudson looks phenomenal in that yellow dress. As I've previously written, normally guys aren't overly impressed with a dress because if a girl is good looking she's going to look good in just about any dress, but this yellow dress was perfect for Kate Hudson.
2.) Definitely, Maybe (2008)- A soon to be divorced father (Ryan Reynolds) tells his daughter about three of his past relationships, including the one with her mother, and soon after the story is over the plot shifts to the present (a la Forrest Gump) as his unresolved feelings for a woman from his past come to the forefront.
I think what makes this chick flick so entertaining is that the protaganist is a male. The plot involves plenty of female emotions, but you see them from a male perspective.
3.) (500) Days of Summer (2009)- To be honest, I'm not even sure if this one counts. I've seen it referred to as a "male chick flick", so we'll go with that. Either way the plot centers around a male 20 something (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who tries to figure out where things went wrong with a girl (Zooey Deschanel) that he dated.
As I've repeatedly stated over the past few months, Zooey Deschanel is my current #1 celebrity crush and I can almost guarantee that she will be yours as well once you're done watching this movie (and Yes, Man).
4.) Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)- This is a bit of a throwback and it did garner an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture, so I'm breaking my own rules, but I feel like it's a movie that not too many people have heard of. Maybe because it's British. Anyway, as the title indicates this movie tells the story of two people (Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell- a something about her/sneaky hot type of girl) that fall in love over the course of four weddings and a funeral.
5.) Love Actually (2003)- This is almost like the British version of Crash (2004), but it's set around Christmas time. There are 5 or 6 storylines that seem to weave together. It's basically like a bazooka to the face of Christmas spirit. Incredibly heartfelt and hard not to like. I know at least 3 girls who say that this is their favorite movie of all time.
6.) When Harry Met Sally (1989)- It's been called the ultimate date movie and I threw it on here mainly because of that. Not to mention that there aren't too many chick flicks that I've seen and enjoyed (surprising, I know). The movie is about a guy and a girl (Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan) who drive to New York together from Chicago and seemingly can't stand each other, but they become friends as they keep running into each other over the years in NYC and eventually fall in love.
7.) Raising Helen (2004)- A young, career-first socialite (Kate Hudson) is tasked with raising her sister's 3 kids (the oldest played by a young Hayden Panittiere) after she and her husband die in a car accident. As the title infers, Kate Hudson's character Helen matures through this experience of raising her sister's children.
I know it sounds like a brutally painful movie to watch, but it's actually heartwarming and borderline enjoyable.
8.) The Time Traveler's Wife (2009)- I thought this movie was semi-worthwhile mainly because I didn't fully grasp the rules to this time travel. Basically Eric Bana jumps through time and pops up at different stages of his life. Whenever he goes to another point in time he always shows up without any clothes. If you think that's bizarre, it's get crazier. He starts showing up at different points of this girl's childhood (Rachel McAdams) and eventually they "fall in love" and get married (as if she had a choice- this guy kept showing up and practically told her that they were destined to get married), but he keeps disappearing for stretches and she is forced to deal with the reality that her husband will never fully be there for her.
Maybe I enjoyed this film (sort of) because I'm a big Rachel McAdams guy, but I will say that girls ate this movie/book up big time.
9.) Serendipity (2001)- Hopefully you know what you're getting into when you see Cusack and Kate Beckinsale on the cover. This film reinforces the largely female notions of "everything happens for a reason" and "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be."
10.) The Proposal (2009)- The plot is a bit ridiculous, but the movie isn't horrible. A female CEO type (Sandra Bullock) is getting deported (she's Canadian), so she forces her male assistant (Ryan Reynolds) to marry her so that she can stay in the country. They go away to his hometown for a long weekend and, you guessed it, fall in love.
After I unveiled my highly anticipated "Top 10 Movies of the Decade" a few of my loyal readers were taken aback. "Whoa, Stan Man, no comedies?" they said. Well, obviously I already had this post in mind, but it's rare that a comedy cracks a list of best movies. Now yes, sometimes a comedy can also be a very good movie (and potentially worthy of critical acclaim), but in most cases it get's labeled as one or the other soon after it is released.
So onto the list. As a reminder, here is the criteria that went into the decision process.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally? - Did the people who's opinions really matter like it? Was the movie/song/moment nominated for an Oscar/Grammy/ESPY? - How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
When it comes to comedies, there are no overriding opinions that matter more than say yours or mine. Comedies rarely win or even get nominated for awards, so the second part of my criteria was virtually out the window on this one. Naturally this means that this list may be the most disputed and this is actually something that I anticipate. Comedies are very personal and subjective.
10.) Zoolander (2001)
Whether it was high school or college I was never a fan of student senate. I thought the entire thing was dumb, although my friends and I all attempted to run in 9th or 10th grade, but we were not allowed too. Apparently they gave the entire faculty veto power. If any faculty member didn't approve of someone running they could just disallow it from happening. Now it probably wasn't that cut and dry, but that's what it amounted to. I was also falsely accused of tearing down a girl's campaign signs in 8th grade. Ironically enough, her father is now a county legislator just like mine.
That all being said, during my freshmen year of college an entire slew of kids ran for student senate, perhaps already looking for a way to boost their resumes. A kid on my floor ran and only got about 4 votes, but we still proceeded to call him "Senator Dan" for the rest of the year. I tell you all of this because the only person that I remember voting for was a kid who's last name is Hansel. He put up a bunch of signs around the dorms that said, "That Hansel is so hot right now," and he immediately had my vote.
Voting strictly on a name is something that I still do today. If I don't know anything about the candidates, I usally vote for the person who's name I like the best. Some people vote by party, I vote by name. Someone must have done a study on something like this, right?
Most Memorable Lines:
Derek Zoolander: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think. Derek Zoolander: If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan. Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.
Hansel: Excuse me, bra. Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra!
Matilda: I became... Hansel: What? Matilda: Bulimic. Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?
Derek Zoolander: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".
Mugatu: They’re the same face. Doesn’t anyone notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. I invented the piano key necktie. I invented it!
Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building? Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small... Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The center has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
9.) Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
This off beat, unconventional comedy took the nation by surprise back in 2004. It was such a change of pace that people fell in love with it. I personally enjoyed it when I first saw it, but I question whether or not it has rewatchability. To be honest, I think it was probably just a flash in the pan. There's no doubt that it has cultural relativity (and that's why it made the list), but Jon Heder should seriously think about a new career path because he will never outgrow the character of Napoleon Dynamite. I think I can say that I will never, ever see another movie that he stars in (as a #1 or a #2).
Most Memorable Lines:
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter. Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time. Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon. Napoleon Dynamite: What? Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
Rex: Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again? Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines! Don: Did you shoot any? Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that? Don: What kind of gun did you use? Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, nobody's going to go out with me. Pedro: Have you asked anybody yet? Napoleon Dynamite: No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills. Pedro: What do you mean? Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. Pedro: Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff? Napoleon Dynamite: Yes... probably the best that I know of. Pedro: Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something. Napoleon Dynamite: That's a pretty good idea.
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow staff.
Deb: What are you drawing? Napoleon Dynamite: A liger. Deb: What's a liger? Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me? Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you. Pedro: Like what are my skills? Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.
Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Kip: Are you serious? Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious.
8.) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
This is the first of 4 films on this list that star Vince Vaughn. I don't think there's any doubt that he's the best comedic actor of the decade, right? What I think is so great about Vince Vaughn is that no matter what role he plays (and there is quite a bit of variance) it always seems like that's exactly how he'd act in real life.
Other Memorable Lines:
Peter La Fleur: You're adopted! Your parents don't even love you!
White Goodman: Ball me Blazer.
White Goodman: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
White Goodman: We should mate. Kate Veatch: What? White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it. White Goodman: Are you okay? Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I've never been there, but I read about it... in a book.
White Goodman: Hello, Katherine. Good to see you. I didn't know you were dropping by. Kate Veatch: You asked me to come over. White Goodman: Did I? Kate Veatch: Are you reading the dictionary? White Goodman: You caught me. I like to break a mental sweat too.
Kate Veatch: That... is a really interesting painting. White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor. Kate Veatch: I get it. White Goodman: But that actually happened, though.
White Goodman: So, please, whatever you do, don't think of me as your boss. Kate Veatch: I don't. White Goodman: I don't want to get into a formal thing. I'm White, you know. W-h-i-t…………E. Kate Veatch: Thanks, Mr Goodman, but I don’t work for you. I'm contracted by the bank. They just assigned me to your account. White Goodman: Right, well. You work for the bank. The bank works for me, so ipso fact, I'm your boss. Point is, I would love to see your pretty little bone structure around here some more. There's no reason we need to be shackled by the structures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back…..I'm just kidding. ….But seriously, I've got 'em.
Cotton McKnight: Hello, everybody, and welcome to this year's Las Vegas International Dodgeball Open brought to you exclusively here on ESPN8- the "Ocho".
Cotton McKnight: Yes, I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.
Pepper Brooks: It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.
7.) The Break Up (2006)
This is my darkhorse pick on the list. I think The Break Up was a very underrated movie that people don't talk about enough. Some people think of it as a date movie/romantic comedy, but it's packed with some of Vince Vaughn's best lines. Is Jennifer Aniston funny? No, not really, but she's hot.
Other Memorable Lines:
Gary: What kind of bullshit move was that? Brooke: I'm sorry, what? What happened? Gary: Oh don't be coy with me. You sent that animal over here to attack me when I was hung over and weak. Brooke: Oh no. Look, all I know is The Tone Rangers they needed some place to rehearse so I very clearly told Richard, "Stay in my room," which you explained to me was my space to do with what I want. Gary: Is that how you want to play it? Cause I'll play it like that. I'll play it like Lionel Richie, all night long, lady. Oh yeah. I'll call some guys from my neck of the woods. And we're not talking about, Brooke, about a couple of queens who know a few grapples. We're talking about Polacks that don't have a goddamn future. That's right. We can make shit real uncomfortable around here, and that's what we're going to do. Brooke: Please, come on. You know what, you're just embarrassed because Richard kicked your ass. Gary: Richard did not kick my ass. What Richard did was attack me when I was half asleep. Brooke: Really, is that how you see it? Gary: There's a really big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you're in a fight. But I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower.
Gary: "Band of Brothers"... you should rent it sometime
6.) Meet the Parents (2000)
The third and final Ben Stiller film on this list was a hit from the get go. Meet the Parents was well received because it's humor applied to just about everyone from the ages of 15-65. What I think the movie was great at was relying on awkwardness to engineer many of the laughs. I believe that this technique, or brand of humor if you will, has been fine tuned and well executed recently by Paul Rudd.
Most Memorable Lines:
Linda: How’s your portfolio? Greg Focker: I’d say strong…to quite strong.
Jack Byrnes: Greg's a male nurse. Greg Focker: Yes. Thank you, Jack. Kevin: Wow, that's great. I'd love to find time to do some volunteer work. Just the other day I saw a golden retriever, he had like a gimp, ya know I just wish I could have done something. Greg Focker: Yeah, well I get paid too so it's sort of an everyone wins thing.
[in the car listening to "Puff the Magic Dragon"] Greg Focker: Who'd have thought it wasn't about a dragon. Jack Byrnes: Huh? Greg Focker: Well some people think that 'to puff the magic dragon' means to... puff... smoke... a marijuana cigarette. Jack Byrnes: Puff is just the name of the boy's magical dragon... You a pothead, Focker? Greg Focker: No, I pass on grass always. Well not always. Jack Byrnes: Yes or no? Greg Focker: No, um, yes, um...
Greg Focker: Oh, dear God, thank you, you are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating God, and we thank You oh sweet, sweet Lord of hosts for the smörgåsbord You have so aptly laid at our table this day, and each day, by day, day by day, by day oh dear Lord three things we pray to love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more clearly, to follow Thee more nearly, day, by day, by day. Amen.
Greg Focker: Yeah, you can milk anything that has nipples. Jack Byrnes: I have nipples Greg, could you milk me?
Jack Byrnes: We’re getting creamed. Larry: Well if Florence Nightengale would play a little defense here. Greg Focker: Larry, I missed one shot. Larry: It was a big shot!
Jack Byrnes: What the hell's the matter with you? It's only a game, Focker!
5.) Superbad (2007)
Every decade has a comedy about high school seniors that want to prepare themselves for college (usually sexually). The 80's had Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the 90's had American Pie, and the 00's had Superbad. Right now, it's too early to tell if Superbad will stack up with others in terms of cultural relativity, but it was definitely outlandishly funny. If I had to guess, I'd say that the movie doesn't matter as much in the grand scheme of things as the others, but that the character of Fogell is not forgotten (although he will probably best be remembered as McLovin).
Other Memorable Lines:
Seth: I joined this class because I thought I was going to be cooking with a partner. But she's never here, and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work. Teacher: I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth. Seth: I know, but look at Evan. Just look at him. Seth: I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing.
Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours. Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.
Greg: What the fuck Evan we're down two points! Seth: Fuckin' calm down Greg, it's soccer, it's soccer. Greg: Fuck you man. Seth: Hey Greg, why don't you go piss your pants? Greg: That was like 8 years ago, asshole! Seth: People don't forget!
Seth: You know when you hear girls saying like 'ahh I was so shit faced last night I shouldn't have fucked that guy,' we could be that mistake!
Seth: Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam.
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin? Fogell: Yeah. Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer? Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there. Seth: And you landed on McLovin... Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed. Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person? Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once. Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed? Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin? Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name! Fogell: Fuck you.
Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery. Seth: What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift. Evan: She had back problems, man.
Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin? Fogell: Old enough. Officer Michaels: Old enough for what? Fogell: To party.
Becca: I'm so wet right now. Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in health class.
4.) The Hangover (2009)
Don't ask me why, but whenever I watch a movie set in the present day I'm always super critical if things happen that are totally outside the realm of possibility (unless I know going in that the movie is about a superhero/time travel/etc). This movie was so over the top funny that I instantly forgave it for all of the ridiculous things that happened in terms of the plot. For example, if this was any other movie (a bit of a spoiler alert here) the scene where they are released from the police station after getting stunned a few times would have bothered me beyond belief. I also saw this movie a month or two after most of my friends had, so I went in with high expectations and it still delivered. Like most great comedies, this is a film that will get funnier and funnier the more you watch it.
Other Memorable Lines:
Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil. Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys? Phil Wenneck: Listen, we fucked up. We lost Doug. Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours. Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.
Alan Garner: Did you have to park so close? Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong? Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here. Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan? Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Alan Garner: You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!
Alan Garner: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system. Stu Price: It's also illegal. Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like... masturbating on an airplane. Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too. Alan Garner: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden. Doug Billings: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay? Alan Garner: Oh really? Doug Billings: It's not easy. Alan Garner: Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ruh-tard. Stu Price: A what? Alan Garner: He was a ruh-tard.
Black Doug: I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em floories. Alan Garner: Or rapies.
3.) Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2007)
When I first saw a preview for this movie I wasn't all that excited about it. When it came out in theaters I chose to see Beerfest (2007) instead. When I first saw the movie I thought it was funny, but nothing special. Then, as I've mentioned before, it was on DirecTV virtually every day of my senior year of college. My housemates and I watched it countless times and it just kept getting better and better. Eventually I thought I'd get sick of it, but I continued to laugh at new lines each time. The combination of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly is unbelievable, although I wasn't a big fan of Step Brothers (2008).
Other Memorable Lines:
Ricky Bobby: If you ain't first, you're last.
Ricky Bobby: Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Jean Girard: My name is Jean Girard and I am a racing-car driver just like you except I am from Formula Un. I am the greatest one in the whole world. I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby. Ricky Bobby: I can't understand a word you've said the whole time. Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did you eat some peanut butter or something? Ricky Bobby: Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth Jean Girard: I think what you are hearing is my accent. I am French. Ricky Bobby: You say you're French? Jean Girard: Oui. Ricky Bobby: We? No, we are not French. We're American, because you're in America, okay? Greatest country on the planet Jean Girard: Well, what have you given the world apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster? Ricky Bobby: Chinese food? Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chinese food. Jean Girard: That's from China. Ricky Bobby: Pizza. Jean Girard: Italy. Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chimichanga. Jean Girard: Mexico. Ricky Bobby: Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us? Jean Girard: We invented democracy, existentialism, and the Ménage à Trois. Cal Naughton, Jr.: Those are three pretty good things. Ricky Bobby: Hey. Cal Naughton, Jr.: Well that last one's pretty cool. Herschell: Yeah? Well we invented the missionary position... You're welcome.
Jean Girard: Bon. So, what if you just said: "I love really thin pancakes"? That is a fair compromise, no? Kyle: That is a fair compromise. Herschell: Very fair, actually. Ricky Bobby: No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crêpes! Kyle: That's actually a pretty good compromise right there. Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly? Ricky Bobby: You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me? Cal Naughton, Jr.: [leans down to talk to Ricky in a low voice] Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? I mean, forget all these other guys. But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call. Ricky Bobby: [whispering] What do you think? Cal Naughton, Jr.: Don't say it. Ricky Bobby: Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. Nope. Break it, Pepé Le Pew! Jean Girard: As you wish. [He breaks Ricky's arm] Ricky Bobby: [in pain] He actually did it!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake! Ricky Bobby: What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened! Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy? Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake! Jean Girard: What? Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: I play for keeps. I play for keeps!
2.) Old School (2003)
Of all the movie lines from the decade, I think the one that I've said the most is, "Great talk. See you out there," and that has to count for something. This film is great because Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell share the spotlight well (even though Luke Wilson is the main character), we get a nice look at Kim Bauer, and Ellen Pompeo is sneaky hot to a lesser degree.
Most Memorable Lines:
Mitch: Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do? Cab Driver: I recommend you stop being such a faggot. You're in the backseat.
Mitch: I haven't seen Frank's dad in like eight years. Frank: I love you dad.
Beanie: Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.
Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you? Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much. Beanie: Who's this guy? Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother? Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard. Beanie: Oh yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time? Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out. Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
Beanie: Yeah, from the guy who probably won't get in. Jerry: I go to school here... Beanie: Ok?
Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time. College Student: A big day? Doing what? Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
Frank: Fill it up again! Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!
Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep. Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch." Frank: Cock. Balls. Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here. Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?
Marissa: That's really, loud. Frank: Yeah, thanks. Took the restrictor plate off to give the Red Dragon a little more juice. But it's not exactly street legal, so keep it on the down low.
Frank: What happened? I blacked out.
Peppers: You should pull that out. Frank: Wait, pull what out? Peppers: The dart. You gotta fucking dart in your neck. Frank: [laughs] Y-You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy.
Mark: What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick are you? Ok. Good talk. I'll see you out there
1.) Wedding Crashers (2005)
This movie is the total package. It literally has it all. Quotable, relatable comedy by some of the best comedic actors of the decade. A romantic subplot that most guys thoroughly enjoy (myself included). A cameo for the ages by Will Ferrell. And outstanding supporting performances by Christopher Walken, Bradley Cooper, and Isla Fisher.
This movie is so good that if I didn't construct this list of the Best Comedies of the Decade, it surely would have found itself on my Best Movies of the Decade list.
Other Memorable Lines:
Janice: I've got the perfect girl for you. Jeremy Grey: Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels.
John Beckwith: You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!
Jeremy Grey: How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: You don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse. John Beckwith: Rule #16: Give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot. Jeremy Grey: Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!
Jeremy Grey: Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.
John Beckwith: I'd like to be cowboys from Arizona or pimps from Oakland but it's not Halloween. Grow up; Peter Pan, Count Chocula.
Jeremy Grey: Oh, that's terrific! Why don't you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning. John Beckwith: What? Jeremy Grey: What do you mean "what"? What a great friend. John. This is completely against the rules. You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. There's no overtime. John Beckwith: No overtime. Yeah, well what about the Chang wedding three years ago. 2am, you drag me fifty miles to watch you and some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother? In a retirement home. Jeremy Grey: Completely different situation. She was a very, very family-oriented girl. And very into her grandmother. John Beckwith: Yeah. Jeremy Grey: That was my first Asian!
John Beckwith: I have a better idea. Throw an interception to Claire, get her feeling good about herself. You think you can do that? Jeremy Grey: John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.
Flip: Crabcakes and Football. That's what Maryland does!
Sack Lodge: Trapster, it's Sack. Trapster: Sackmaster. How was the wedding? Sack Lodge: Oh, it was boring, you know, but the bachelor party, of course, rocked. We got Heidi a couple of those fucking sluts from the environmental group, remember them? Trapster: No way! Did you tap that again? Sack Lodge: Once at my place, then once back in the cab. Trapster: Damn! Sluts! Sack Lodge: Do you remember that private detective we used to set up that fucking Shearson Lehman prick? Trapster: The big sleazy, Tommy Gufano. He's a wop genius.
Jeremy Grey: Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's got to be an interesting combination. Sack Lodge: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that? Jeremy Grey: Not nearly as much as I do with the attire that you have on, or just your general point of view towards everybody. But let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched.
John Beckwith: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters. Jeremy Grey: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older women made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl. John Beckwith: I wasn't crying like a little girl. Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? Jeremy Grey: You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house? John Beckwith: What's wrong with you? Jeremy Grey: What do you mean "what's wrong with me?" What's wrong with you?
John Beckwith: You better lock it up. Jeremy Grey: No, you lock it up! John Beckwith: You lock it up! Jeremy Grey: You lock it up! John Beckwith: You lock it up! Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. John Beckwith: Soft mattress? Jeremy Grey: Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.
Jeremy Grey: She's fit for a strait-jacket. This broad's fucked three ways towards the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it! It turns me on.
Jeremy Grey: Erroneous! Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts!
Sack: Did you check out the rack on that bartender? Trapster: Hey, you're the Sack. She'll come to you. Sack Lodge: Oh my God, yeah, she will. You're right.
Honorable Mention- What Happens in Vegas (2008)
This movie is certainly not worthy of a spot in the Top 10 Comedies of the Decade, but it is one that I think you should all see. I've been touting this film ever since I first saw it 11 months ago and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Although I hate to use the term because we've all virtually killed it thanks to online communication, this film is laugh out loud funny and Rob Corddry (Hater) is the main reason why. Now, of course, there's an accompanying love story that has a few cheesy lines, but it's worth it. Plus, Cameron Diaz and Lake Bell are both smoking hot. Also, I believe I've said this before, but I'll say it again, this film actually made me like Ashton Kutcher.
Other Memorable Lines:
Jack Fuller: Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man? Hater: Community college?
Hater: Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
Hater: This is my lesbian sister. Tell them about your softball team, tell them about your team.
Judge R. D. Whopper: Listen, I've been married for twenty five years to the same wonderful, infuriating woman. And granted there are days when I want to light her on fire but I don't, because I love her. And that would be illegal. And you know something, I might be old fashioned, but when I said those vows I meant them.
Hater: Lavender, you get on my head.
Hater: I'm the law, bitches!
Dave the Bear: Do you even know how to drive an automatic?
Hater: Go get your future ex-ex-wife.
Best of the rest
'00- Road Trip, Me, Myself, and Irene '01- Saving Silverman, Not Another Teen Movie, Super Troopers '02- Van Wilder, Austin Powers in Goldmember '04- Team America: World Police, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy '05- The 40-Year Old Virgin '06- You, Me, and Dupree, Grandma's Boy '07- Knocked Up, Beerfest '08- Tropic Thunder, Forgetting Sarah Marshall '09- I Love You, Man
As 2009 winds down so too does the decade. These past 10 years have been a trying time in the land of the free. In fact, because of 9/11, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the financial meltdown Time Magazine has called the 00's the "worst decade ever" (Surely, the 1930's were worse, right?) It's a bit weird to think that, for all intents and purposes, I grew up in this decade. My entire high school career, my entire college career, and the beginning of my actual career all took place in this ten year stretch. In 50 years people might look back on the 00's as a decade of turmoil, but I'll look back on them as some of the best years of my life.
I mean, let's be honest, the 00's were filled with some great moments. During this final month of the decade, I will compile various "Best of the decade" lists for your viewing pleasure. Each list has been compiled under the same set of criteria.
- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally? - Did the people who's opinions really matter like it? - How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?
First up, the best movies of the decade.
10.) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Although I'm a sucker for closure the first film of this trilogy, based on the volumes written by J.R.R Tolkien, was clearly the best. I was interested in the trilogy from the get go because my dad read the prequel, "The Hobbit" (a chapter a night before we went to bed), to my brother and I when we were little (Do parents still do that?).
That being said, the film presents the entire premise in a way that is easy to understand even for those not familiar with Tolkien's "middle earth". Peter Jackson's direction of this film was not only incredible from an effects/scenery standpoint, but also for it's accuracy in regards to the original work.
One thing I liked about the movie was that Tolkien's fantasy tale is not overshadowed by any particular actor or actress. The story of the ring is what's most memorable and that's not to say that the cast was mediocre because that couldn't be further from the truth. Viggo Mortenson was incredibly badass as Aragorn, Sir Ian McKellan was terrific as Gandalf, Orlando Bloom was on the mark (no pun intended) as Legalos, and how could I not love Sean Astin (Rudy) as Sam? Hell, Liv Tyler was even pretty good as Arwen. I also must give some props to the character Gimli, the dwarf with the battle axe, because my oldest brother and his girlfriend named their new dog after him.
Most people point to the The Return of the King as the best of the three films and it won 11 Oscars including Best Picture, but not me. That movie was good, but it was literally a full hour too long. Five different times in theater I thought the movie was over before it actually ended.
9.) Walk the Line (2005)
Vivian Cash: You can't wear black. It looks like you're going to a funeral. Johnny Cash: Maybe I am...
Other biopics in the decade were more hyped (Ray, The Aviator), but none were as succuessful as Walk the Line. Maybe Johnny Cash's life was just more suitable for such a film, but that doesn't change the fact that Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal of the American icon was electric. Now as good as he was and he was very good, Reese Witherspoon's performance as June Carter was even more remarkable. So remarkable that I would not hesistate to say that it was head and shoulders above any other female performance of the decade.
I liked Walk the Line because it was filled with real, raw human emotion. We saw the extreme highs and extreme lows of a rock star. Cash loved being on the road, but it led him to rampant drug abuse and away from his family.
Something should also be said about the scene where Cash and his band perform in front of the record producer. It was truly an inspirational moment. After they play a few songs, the producer stops them and says, "If you was hit by a truck and you was lying out there in that gutter dying, and you had time to sing *one* song. One song that people would remember before you're dirt. One song that would let God know how you felt about your time here on Earth. One song that would sum you up. You tellin' me that's the song you'd sing? That same Jimmy Davis tune we hear on the radio all day, about your peace within, and how it's real, and how you're gonna shout it? Or... would you sing somethin' different. Somethin' real. Somethin' *you* felt. Cause I'm telling you right now, that's the kind of song people want to hear. That's the kind of song that truly saves people. It ain't got nothin to do with believin' in God, Mr. Cash. It has to do with believin' in yourself."
8.) Blood Diamond (2006)
My buddy Glancy took a film class in college because he, like myself, is a big movie buff. On the first day of class the professor went around the room and asked everyone what they thought the best film of all time was. All of the film geeks that took the class because they had unrealistic goals of becoming the next Spielberg said movies like Rear Window (1954), Citizen Kane (1941), and 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). Glancy said Top Gun (1986). As soon as he said it all of the film majors laughed in that snarky "we're smarter than you" way, but Glancy went on to defend his choice by saying, "It has everything you could want in a film. There's action, adventure, drama, and romance. It's got it all."
That's how I feel about Blood Diamond. Leonardo DiCaprio (whether you liked his accent or not) was extraordinary, as usual. My buddy Matty K's favorite actor Djimon Hounsou pulled off his dramatic scenes well enough to make the audience sympathize with him as a father/husband desperate to get his family back and he was obviously perfect in all of the action scenes because of his physicality. Jennifer Connolly, as I believe I have said in the past, was sneaky hot in this film. At first she's a good looking 35-year old, but you aren't blown away. Then as the plot develops, so to does her character. Then towards the end of the film she suddenly seems incredibly hot.
7.) The Dark Knight (2008)
When I initially compiled these rankings The Dark Knight came in around 12 or 13. There was no questioning the film's captivating nature, but it wasn't nominated for Best Picture, it's about 20-25 minutes too long, and Maggie Gyllenhaal lacks any sort of sex appeal (she's a bad projection for what Amanda Bynes will look like in 10 years). How could I seriously suggest that a summer blockbuster, and one based on a comic book no less, was one of the 10 best movies of the decade? Then, as I thought more about it I realized that there were plenty more arguments to be made as to why it should make the top 10 as opposed to why it shouldn't.
1.) My buddy Frank would probably murder me if I didn't include it. In fact, he'll probably complain that I didn't have it in my top 5. 2.) In a decade that was rife with superhero films this one was better than all of the others by leaps and bounds. 3.) Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker might be the defining role of the decade and would have been even if he didn't tragically die because he snorted more coke than the Olsen twins. By the way, talk about high risk/high reward. Ledger's drug use simultaneously led to one of the most memorable acting performances of our day and to his untimely demise. 4.) Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman, who've both won Oscars for Best Supporting Actor, gave stellar performances without stealing the show. 5.) The special effects were amazing. 6.) The film contained undertones about the goodness of human nature. For example, the boat scene. Would that have happened in real life? I'm not so sure, but it evoked positive message nonetheless.
6.) Crash (2005)
In today's world it seems as if the only purpose of film, literature, television, etc. is to entertain, but this film reminded us that these creative outlets can do much more. At it's core Crash was a social commentary about our modern culture. It tapped into the everyday disconnect that is felt throughout our diverse society. The film's message was that we are all in this life together and that we all go through the same struggles, but for whatever reason we all put up fences in order to shield ourselves from others.
Orchestrating a film with multiple storylines that work in and out and blend together in order to demonstrate a singular message is a very delicate task. Films of this nature usually fail (see Bobby, Vantage Point), but when they are done successfully they can be very powerful. Another film that successfully employed this narrative style is Love Actually (2003), which I'm not ashamed to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed.
5.) The Departed (2006)
The film featured two of the best actors of our generation (Damon and DiCaprio) as cops that worked on both sides of the law with a big shot criminal played by one of the best actors of all time (Jack Nicholson). One cop (Damon) was dirty and helped the crime boss avoid the swift arm of the law. The other cop (DiCaprio) went undercover and tried to bring down the crime boss from the inside by infiltrating his crew. When you break it all down, that's the gist of the plot and even at it's simplest level the duality is pretty awesome.
The rest of the cast was brilliant as well. Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin both deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar nominations (Wahlberg got one, Baldwin didn't). Martin Sheen was great and Vera Farmiga was sneaky hot.
The best scene from the entire movie (from an acting perspective) was definitely when DiCaprio shows up at Farmiga's apartment. The sexual tension combined with the anxiety, nervousness, longing, and vulnerability that they both show in the scene is perfectly complimented by Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb". The scene is just amazing. DiCaprio is at one of his lowest moments and desperately wants to feel something that is real. Farmiga, who's sneaky hotness is at an all time high in this scene, is questioning her decision to move in with Damon and in this moment senses more of a connection with a man that she knows only as her patient with a criminal record.
Another great part about this movie is that it has rewatchability. If it's on TV, I'm watching it (Only 4-5 other movies have this power over me). Also, I think I've said this before, but the first time I watched the movie for some reason I was pulling for Matt Damon. I didn't want him to get caught. Everytime I've seen it since I've been all about DiCaprio's character. Seriously, outside of Denzel, who is even on his level as an actor?
4.) Finding Neverland (2004)
Simply a touching film. I had a few reservations about seeing it at first because on the surface it seems a little feminine and it's only rated PG, but it's now one of the first films that I recommend to others. The film really puts the power of belief and imagination on display. Seriously, watch it and then try to tell me you didn't absolutely love everything about it.
In case you didn't watch the trailer (I could watch these ten trailers all day), this film is about the author J.M Barrie's inspiration for his materpiece; Peter Pan. It features a very good Johnny Depp and the best actress of our generation, Kate Winslet.
3.) Gone Baby Gone (2007)
He lied to me. I can't think of one reason big enough for him to lie that's small enough not to matter.
During my senior year of college I had strong feelings for a young dame. Let's call her Tristen. As I've previously mentioned Tristen reciprocated those feelings, but also had strong feelings for someone else. Let's call him Lyle. A few months into the year Tristen (perhaps wisely) chose to be with Lyle. Let the record show that they have now been engaged for more than a year. My feelings for Tristen did not subside overnight, but I knew that I had to move on. In the weeks that followed I began hooking up with another girl. Let's call her Melissa.
I wish I was kidding when I say that at that point Melissa had only seen about 10 movies in her entire life. Knowing this, I decided to expand her horizons a bit, so for our first official date I took her to see Gone Baby Gone. As we walked into the theater on that fateful Wednesday night we noticed that only two other people were there; Tristen and Lyle. Now I've had some pretty awkward moments in my life, but none were even in the same ball park as that one. I was literally stunned. They were in the middle of the second to last row so we were relegated to sitting about 4-5 rows in front of them, but a little to the left (facing the screen). I think Tristen and I exchanged a quick wave, but I was so overcome with emotions that I honestly don't even remember. I'm not sure if Melissa or Lyle even knew the entire story, but Tristen and I later discussed how we've both never felt an awkward moment quite like that in our entire lives.
That all being said, I loved the movie. I had never seen a film in which Casey Affleck was the leading character and I must say that I was thoroughly impressed. Ed Harris and Amy Ryan were also outstanding. The movie had me hooked from the opening voice over.
"I always believed it was the things you don't choose that makes you who you are. Your city, your neighborhood, your family. People here take pride in these things, like it was something they'd accomplished. The bodies around their souls, the cities wrapped around those. I lived on this block my whole life; most of these people have. When your job is to find people who are missing, it helps to know where they started. I find the people who started in the cracks and then fell through. This city can be hard. When I was young, I asked my priest how you could get to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world. He told me what God said to His children. "You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves."
Although you got the feeling that the movie might end about half way through it, the actual ending was the definition of thought provoking. The decision that Casey Affleck's character faces is one that I have had hour long arguments with my friends and family members about. If I've said it once I'll say it 1000 times, you could teach an entire ethics course based solely on this film. The ending is so controversial that I bet plenty of couples have broken up because of this movie. There are arguments to be made for both sides, but there is no gray area.
2.) Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
LATIKA!
Slumdog is a heartwarming, uplifting tale. Director Danny Boyle's recreation of Vikas Swarup's novel "Q & A" is magnificent. In case you haven't seen it, the movie is about a poor boy from the slums who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and knows the answers to all of the 15 questions because of his incredible life experiences. The plot construction is both simple and genius. The main character, Jamal, is presented with a question on the game show and then the audience is shown a poignant story from his childhood where he has learned the answer to the question. Now it's not that cut and dry, but that's the premise. There is also a love story that develops from the childhood stories and comes to fruition because of the game show experience. If you haven't seen the film, drop what you're doing right now and go see it. It's that good.
A few weeks ago I was working on a four hour radio show (Football Tonight) and inbetween segments the host and I were talking about movies. What we liked. What we didn't. What our producer needed to see. Now the host has had two children in the past 20 months and hasn't seen many movies in that time, so he asked me what movies he needed to see. Without hesitation the first movie out of my mouth was Slumdog. At the end of the show he referred to me on air, as "the movie guy." I really believe that Slumdog will be one of the movies that people still talk about in 30 years.
1.) Mystic River (2003)
Mystic River is a raw, gripping, emotional crime thriller. The film is equally dark and powerful. A man's daughter is murdered and he and his friends perform their own investigation, often interviewing witnessess before the police do. As the clues are pieced together the audience is forced to wonder what will come first, justice by way of the law or vengeance by the girl's father? Let's jut say that in an intriguing plot twist author Dennis Lehane, who also wrote Gone Baby Gone, gives us both.
The cast of the best movie of the decade is, of course, extraordinary. Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, and Tim "Andy Dufresne" Robbins play childhood friends that have taken different paths in life, but are all brought back together by this murder. Penn, in an Oscar winning role plays the murdered girl's father, Bacon plays the detective investigating the murder, and Robbins in an Oscar winning role plays an aloof man who becomes a prime suspect in the murder investigation. I also must give some love to The Sandlot's Scott Smalls, who plays the boyfriend of the murdered girl.
The end of the film provides one of the best lines of the decade. Of course, if you haven't seen the movie this will mean nothing to you.
Sean: So Jimmy, when was the last time you saw Dave? Jimmy: The last time I saw Dave... Sean: Yeah, Dave Boyle. Jimmy: Dave Boyle... Sean: Yeah Jimmy, Dave Boyle. Jimmy: That was twenty-five years ago, going up this street, in the back of that car.
The best of the rest:
’00- Gladiator, Traffic, Castaway, Almost Famous ’01- A Beautiful Mind ’02- Gangs of New York, Catch Me If You Can ’03- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl ’04- Million Dollar Baby, Man on Fire, Collateral, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ’05- V for Vendetta ’06- Inside Man, The Prestige ’07- Michael Clayton, Juno ’08- Iron Man
