On Friday April 16th, an Iranian cleric named Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi blamed recent earthquakes on women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuosly.
He said, "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes."
Of course, Sedighi's words fired up feminists everywhere. An English women, named Jennifer McCreight, was so perturbed by this cleric's comments that she organized a movement called "Boobquake" to prove him wrong. Within days of launching the "Boobquake" Facebook page over 20,000 females joined McCreight in promising to show as much cleavage as possible on Monday, April 26th (or as I like to call it, today).
“On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own,” McCreight wrote. “Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. “I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I’m sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn’t rumble.”
I was all set to blog about this day and celebrate cleavage like I never have before. I even had this Seinfeld clip ready to go.
Then I saw this.....
Taiwan - A quake of Magnitude 6.5 hit Taiwan’s coastal area, the US geological survey said. The quake was so strong that it made the buildings sway in the capital, Taipei. There were no damages of collapse of buildings in and around Taipei or Taiwan, and there was no threat of a Tsunami too.
Yeah, that's right. McCreight rolled the dice and assumed that there wouldn't be an earthquake today, but boy was she wrong.
As the blogger for NYC.BarstoolSports.com (where I first saw this story) put it:
"Talk about your ALL TIME worst backfires. According to her blog, she’s making the rounds today on like every major media outlet in the world. I’m talkin BBC and CNN and shit. So have fun answering questions about how you caused a quake you destructive bitch. Somewhere that Iranian Cleric is lighting up a cigar like Red Auerbach celebrating this victory.
And as for Jenny Earthquake, she says the 6.5 quake in Taiwan is not “statistically significant” enough to prove theres a direct correlation to tits and tremors. Tell that to the poor bastards in Taiwan swaying in skyscrapers for half a minute. Cover those bombs up before someone gets hurt."
Hold on a minute here, a 6.5? That seems pretty significant to me. Doesn't the (Mike) Richter scale only go up to 9.9?
Either way it's still...
Iranian clerics 1
Feminists 0
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Netflix, Do it
Last week I finally signed up for Netflix and already I think it's one of the greatest decisions that I've ever made. If you don't already have an account do yourself a favor and get one as soon as possible.
In the past few weeks two of my best friends have all but praised Netflix, so I finally took their advice and signed up. Honestly, I don't know why a self proclaimed movie buff like myself didn't have an account sooner. Maybe it was my loyalty to the Blockbuster brand that held me off for this long. Last summer renting movies from Blockbuster was the method to my movie watching madness. My parents paid $20 a month and we got to rent two movies at a time. I went there so often that I was practically on a first name basis with the guy that worked there. By that I mean I knew that his name was Chris because he wore a name tag. He never asked me for my name, but it was clear that he recognized me based on my regular business.
That being said, Blockbuster is the past and Netflix is the future. For only $8.99 a month I can rent as many movies as time will allow. The number of movies I end up renting per month will be based on how quickly I watch the movies once I get them and how quickly the United States Postal Service sends them to and fro the Netflix warehouse closest to my apartment. Think about this for a minute. If you see a movie in theaters you're usually paying anywhere from $9-$11.50 (for yourself) and if you rent 2 movies from Blockbuster or Hollywood Video it usually costs about $8-$10. I figure that if I rent 3 movies from Netflix per month (I think I'll probably end up renting 7-8) I'll be saving money/getting a deal.
Now not only is Netflix convenient because I don't have to leave my apartment to rent movies, but they take care of all the shipping costs and there are no late fees. They send you a movie in the mail. You watch it and then send it back. Then they send you whatever movie you have selected next on your queue.
Which brings us to the online Netflix experience. Once you sign up for Netflix you get an online account/username what have you. On your account you create your queue, which is a list of the movies that you want to see. Like I said before, once you send Netflix a movie back in the mail they send you whatever you have next on your queue. Also on your account they have you rate movies that you've already seen and based on your ratings they offer suggestions (which are fairly accurate) of movies that you might like. The more movies that you rate the more accurate the suggestions.
As if Netflix couldn't get any better they offer hundreds of movies that you can view instantly online. Watching movies instantly does not affect your queue whatsoever.So far I've seen one movie that Netflix has sent me (and they've emailed me to tell me that another one is on the way) and three instantly online, which I'll breakdown right now.
1.) Casablanca (1942)
I've long heard that Casablanca (which I believe is Spanish for white house) is one of the greatest movies of all time, so it's been on my radar for a while. Sure it's in black and white, but it won the Oscar for Best Picture and it's routinely referenced on Jeopardy. Based on those two facts I needed to see it.
Even with these lofty expectations, I still thoroughly enjoyed the film. Humphrey Bogart is the absolute man. He's got that Don Draper cocky, cool, and confident quality to him. Also there's something about Ingrid Bergman. She must have been the lure of every man back in the '40's because she's still good looking even by today's standards.
Not only is the entire plot/conflict intriguing, but I could tell why a 23-year-old like me living in 2009 has seen/heard of the film's most memorable lines. For example, Bogart says, "Here's looking at you, kid" to Bergman a few times in the film and to me it was reminiscent of the late Patrick Swayze saying "ditto" (a word I despise by the way) to Demi Moore in Ghost (1990). Also the French Police Chief says, "Round up the usual suspects," which I must assume was the inspiration for the title of the 1995 film The Usual Suspects.
2.) Risky Business (1983)
In the film that helped launch his career into super stardom Tom Cruise plays a high schooler who's parents leave him alone in their house for a week. The entire movie is textbook '80's. In fact, it reminded me a little bit of another '80's cult favorite Weird Science (1985). In the film Cruise's character not only needs to find a boatload of cash to pay for the restoration of his father's Porsche (which ends up in the bottom of a lake), but he also gets into a sticky situation with the pimp of a hooker that he gets involved with. Somehow, someway he gets out of it all by running a brothel in his parent's house the night before they get back. Overall I didn't think too much of the movie, but if you like cheesy '80's plots then give it a whirl.
Perhaps the most memorable part of the movie is when Cruise's character sings Bob Segar's "Old Time Rock and Roll" while wearing tighty whities, socks, and a button up/down shirt. A quick aside- isn't it interesting that shirts of that nature can be called both button ups and button downs even though the words up and down are opposites? Quite frankly, I'm going to call them button downs from here on out because that is how I button them (from the top down). This scene has recently been reinvented with college basketball coaches and now Playboy Playmates in advertisements for Guitar Hero; however this is not what I find to be the scene's most egregious representation.
This outfit has become the default last minute Halloween/Party costume for both guys and girls alike. It's more played out than guys that dress up as Doug Funnie's alter ego Quail Man. While we're on the subject, it should be noted that a former roommate of mine once suggested that we throw a Tom Cruise theme party. This was back when theme parties were the cool thing to do (and maybe they still are, I don't know, I'm getting old). The idea was that people would come to the party dressed as their favorite Tom Cruise character (or favorite character from a Tom Cruise movie). Even though it was a great idea we never had the party, although if we ever did I knew exactly what I would have worn.
3.) Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
The film swept the 1980 Academy Awards winning Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Writing for a Screenplay based on material from another medium, so I basically knew that I would have to see it eventually. The movie pitted Dustin Hoffman against Meryl Streep in a custody battle over their 7 year old son. Now if you want to see the movie (and I assume most of you don't) here's your spoiler alert.
Dustin Hoffman's character Ted works in advertising and when he comes home from work one day his wife, Meryl Streep's character, Joanna tells him that she's leaving him. At one point in the conversation, Ted asks her, "What about Billy (their son)?" and Joanna replies by saying that she's not fit to raise him at the moment. Ted holds out hope that Joanna is going to come back, but once weeks turn into months he starts to accept the fact that she isn't.
As the next year and a half go by we see Ted and Billy grow together as father and son. Naturally there are some rocky moments, but Ted makes the best of the situation and always puts Billy ahead of work/social life.
Then, out of nowhere, Joanna shows up and says that she wants Billy back. We find out that she went to California and "found a really good physciatrist" that helped her get her head on straight. She sues for custody and as you can tell by the name of the film it goes to court.
In the heat of the coutroom Ted's lawyer grills Joanna and makes her admit that 1.) she's been a failure in every relationship that she's ever had and 2.) Ted never hit her, cheated on her, drank alcohol in excess, or failed to provide for her or Billy.
Sure enough the judge rules in favor of Joanna which made me furrrrious. This broad packs up and leaves her husband for no good reason. She walks away from her 6 year old son without thinking twice. She goes to California to "find herself". Sees a physchiatrist. Comes back a year and a half later and demands to have custody of the very son that she walked out on? She's clearly not mentally stable, but the judge still rules in her favor? Are we serious??
In the past few weeks two of my best friends have all but praised Netflix, so I finally took their advice and signed up. Honestly, I don't know why a self proclaimed movie buff like myself didn't have an account sooner. Maybe it was my loyalty to the Blockbuster brand that held me off for this long. Last summer renting movies from Blockbuster was the method to my movie watching madness. My parents paid $20 a month and we got to rent two movies at a time. I went there so often that I was practically on a first name basis with the guy that worked there. By that I mean I knew that his name was Chris because he wore a name tag. He never asked me for my name, but it was clear that he recognized me based on my regular business.
That being said, Blockbuster is the past and Netflix is the future. For only $8.99 a month I can rent as many movies as time will allow. The number of movies I end up renting per month will be based on how quickly I watch the movies once I get them and how quickly the United States Postal Service sends them to and fro the Netflix warehouse closest to my apartment. Think about this for a minute. If you see a movie in theaters you're usually paying anywhere from $9-$11.50 (for yourself) and if you rent 2 movies from Blockbuster or Hollywood Video it usually costs about $8-$10. I figure that if I rent 3 movies from Netflix per month (I think I'll probably end up renting 7-8) I'll be saving money/getting a deal.
Now not only is Netflix convenient because I don't have to leave my apartment to rent movies, but they take care of all the shipping costs and there are no late fees. They send you a movie in the mail. You watch it and then send it back. Then they send you whatever movie you have selected next on your queue.
Which brings us to the online Netflix experience. Once you sign up for Netflix you get an online account/username what have you. On your account you create your queue, which is a list of the movies that you want to see. Like I said before, once you send Netflix a movie back in the mail they send you whatever you have next on your queue. Also on your account they have you rate movies that you've already seen and based on your ratings they offer suggestions (which are fairly accurate) of movies that you might like. The more movies that you rate the more accurate the suggestions.
As if Netflix couldn't get any better they offer hundreds of movies that you can view instantly online. Watching movies instantly does not affect your queue whatsoever.So far I've seen one movie that Netflix has sent me (and they've emailed me to tell me that another one is on the way) and three instantly online, which I'll breakdown right now.
1.) Casablanca (1942)
I've long heard that Casablanca (which I believe is Spanish for white house) is one of the greatest movies of all time, so it's been on my radar for a while. Sure it's in black and white, but it won the Oscar for Best Picture and it's routinely referenced on Jeopardy. Based on those two facts I needed to see it.
Even with these lofty expectations, I still thoroughly enjoyed the film. Humphrey Bogart is the absolute man. He's got that Don Draper cocky, cool, and confident quality to him. Also there's something about Ingrid Bergman. She must have been the lure of every man back in the '40's because she's still good looking even by today's standards.
Not only is the entire plot/conflict intriguing, but I could tell why a 23-year-old like me living in 2009 has seen/heard of the film's most memorable lines. For example, Bogart says, "Here's looking at you, kid" to Bergman a few times in the film and to me it was reminiscent of the late Patrick Swayze saying "ditto" (a word I despise by the way) to Demi Moore in Ghost (1990). Also the French Police Chief says, "Round up the usual suspects," which I must assume was the inspiration for the title of the 1995 film The Usual Suspects.
2.) Risky Business (1983)
In the film that helped launch his career into super stardom Tom Cruise plays a high schooler who's parents leave him alone in their house for a week. The entire movie is textbook '80's. In fact, it reminded me a little bit of another '80's cult favorite Weird Science (1985). In the film Cruise's character not only needs to find a boatload of cash to pay for the restoration of his father's Porsche (which ends up in the bottom of a lake), but he also gets into a sticky situation with the pimp of a hooker that he gets involved with. Somehow, someway he gets out of it all by running a brothel in his parent's house the night before they get back. Overall I didn't think too much of the movie, but if you like cheesy '80's plots then give it a whirl.
Perhaps the most memorable part of the movie is when Cruise's character sings Bob Segar's "Old Time Rock and Roll" while wearing tighty whities, socks, and a button up/down shirt. A quick aside- isn't it interesting that shirts of that nature can be called both button ups and button downs even though the words up and down are opposites? Quite frankly, I'm going to call them button downs from here on out because that is how I button them (from the top down). This scene has recently been reinvented with college basketball coaches and now Playboy Playmates in advertisements for Guitar Hero; however this is not what I find to be the scene's most egregious representation.
This outfit has become the default last minute Halloween/Party costume for both guys and girls alike. It's more played out than guys that dress up as Doug Funnie's alter ego Quail Man. While we're on the subject, it should be noted that a former roommate of mine once suggested that we throw a Tom Cruise theme party. This was back when theme parties were the cool thing to do (and maybe they still are, I don't know, I'm getting old). The idea was that people would come to the party dressed as their favorite Tom Cruise character (or favorite character from a Tom Cruise movie). Even though it was a great idea we never had the party, although if we ever did I knew exactly what I would have worn.
3.) Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
The film swept the 1980 Academy Awards winning Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Writing for a Screenplay based on material from another medium, so I basically knew that I would have to see it eventually. The movie pitted Dustin Hoffman against Meryl Streep in a custody battle over their 7 year old son. Now if you want to see the movie (and I assume most of you don't) here's your spoiler alert.
Dustin Hoffman's character Ted works in advertising and when he comes home from work one day his wife, Meryl Streep's character, Joanna tells him that she's leaving him. At one point in the conversation, Ted asks her, "What about Billy (their son)?" and Joanna replies by saying that she's not fit to raise him at the moment. Ted holds out hope that Joanna is going to come back, but once weeks turn into months he starts to accept the fact that she isn't.
As the next year and a half go by we see Ted and Billy grow together as father and son. Naturally there are some rocky moments, but Ted makes the best of the situation and always puts Billy ahead of work/social life.
Then, out of nowhere, Joanna shows up and says that she wants Billy back. We find out that she went to California and "found a really good physciatrist" that helped her get her head on straight. She sues for custody and as you can tell by the name of the film it goes to court.
In the heat of the coutroom Ted's lawyer grills Joanna and makes her admit that 1.) she's been a failure in every relationship that she's ever had and 2.) Ted never hit her, cheated on her, drank alcohol in excess, or failed to provide for her or Billy.
Sure enough the judge rules in favor of Joanna which made me furrrrious. This broad packs up and leaves her husband for no good reason. She walks away from her 6 year old son without thinking twice. She goes to California to "find herself". Sees a physchiatrist. Comes back a year and a half later and demands to have custody of the very son that she walked out on? She's clearly not mentally stable, but the judge still rules in her favor? Are we serious??
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Hate List
Last night I was searching online for books that twenty somethings would enjoy (if you have any suggestions let me know) and after I read through a couple of lists it hit me. When's the last time you sat down and actually wrote out a list of any kind? A "to do" list, a grocery list, whatever. Maybe it's that everyone spends all day on their blackberry or that no one has the time, but I feel like lists have become outdated. This, to me anyway, is rather unfortunate because lists can be very helpful. Lists help you remember things. For example, before I went to the grocery store the other day I looked through my kitchen to see what I needed. Aside from the usual items I told myself that I needed new ice trays. Now I'm way too confident in my memory to write out a grocery list, but sure enough when I got back I had forgotten to get new ice trays. It seems trivial and it kind of is because I don't really need ice trays at all, but that feeling when you realize that you forgot something is one that I don't enjoy.
As I got to thinking about lists I was reminded of one that a girl from my high school made a few years back. In the About Me section of her Facebook page she created a list of things that she hates; a "hate" list. For the record, it was more of a pet peeve list, but hate sounds much cooler. She still has the "hate" list up and running and updates it every once in a while. A few examples from her list are: ipod walkers, wet dogs, clouds, seaweed, and widescreen dvds. Now this of course got me thinking of the things that I hate. We'll start with an item from her list that I hate as well.
1.) One word text messages-I have a friend who's notorious for texting people the letter "o" as in "oh" and for angrily texting question marks when someone doesn't respond to a previous text within 10 minutes. Similarily can we please stop texting "k" and "ya" to one another? I mean, I guess the previous texter sometimes deserves a little bit of the blame for posing a simple yes or no question, but would it kill us to write "ok sounds good/ok will do" and "yeah that's right" instead?
2.) Women that keep their maiden name- This, to me, is the ultimate slap in the face. Marriage is a commitment and if you can't sacrifice your maiden name, then why even bother getting married in the first place? When a man asks you to marry him and you say yes, you know going in that it's expected of you to take his last name as your own. Don't get on your high horse like a raging feminist and think about keeping your maiden name in any capacity. This hyphenated shit is out of control. I mean, if you keep your maiden name or try this hyphenated nonsense things will get real messy when you have kids.
3.) Cigarette smoking- This is my number one pet peeve. I can't figure out why twenty somethings smoke cigs. Not only is it extremely unhealthy, it's unattractive. Did the D.A.R.E campaign teach my peers nothing?
I give people above the age of 40 a pass for smoking cigarettes because back then they didn't know how bad they were for their lungs, but kids my age have no excuse for their chain smoking. Cigarette smoking also bothers me because it leads to cigarette breaks. For example, a girl I work with takes about 5 cigarrette breaks per shift. If the workload picks up she "can't handle it" and needs the stress relief of a cig.
It should be noted that I'm no saint when it comes to smoking. I smoke the occasional cigar and hookah, but I would guess that I do about as much harm to my lungs in a year that the average smoker does in a week.
4.) Drew Barrymore- She's unattractive and annoying.
5.) People that wait at a 4-way stop sign until an oncoming car comes to a complete stop before they go- I guess it doesn't hurt to be better safe than sorry, but come onnnn. Isn't it a bit over cautious to assume that everyone is going to blow right through a stop sign?
6.) Pocket dialing- A friend from highschool that I virtually never speak to must have pocket dialed me 15 times in June/July. I answered the first few times thinking he had something relevant to tell me, but all I heard was mumbled conversation. The next few times I just silenced the calls and moved on with my life. Then I started hitting ignore and calling him right back, but he never answered. Then one time I answered, hung up and sent him a text that said, "Dude, what's goin on here? You keep pocket dialing me?" He responded by saying, "No I didn't. I just wanted to see how youre doing." I was literally stunned. This clown had been pocket dialing me for a month and when I called him out on it he tried to play it off like he was trying to keep in touch. Un-beeeee-lievvvv-able. Sure enough I got two more pocket calls from him later that week.
7.) Touchdown. Commercial. Kickoff. Commercial.- There are plenty of enough natural breaks in a football game (touchdowns/field goals, changes of possession, timeouts, the end of quarters, and the two minute warnings) for commercials.
8.) The word "cliche"- I have a long standing belief that the word "cliche" is overused. To me, it's a catchy word that every kid in America thought was cool to say. "That's so cliche." "What a cliche answer." etc. I also hate unoriginal (cliche) romantic notions like asking a girl out/to marry you on Valentine's Day/New Year's Eve. I must say, however, that the greatest advice I've ever given was when I told a friend to break up with his long term girlfriend at 11:50 on December 31st by saying that he wanted to start the new year off right.
9.) People that smack their lips when they eat- A few of my former roommates smacked their lips so loud when they ate that I couldn't function within a 20 foot radius of them. Maybe I'm just ultra sensitive about the issue because my brother and I used to yell at each other for doing it as kids at the dinner table, but it's like nails on a chalk board to me now.
10.) The "Happy Bday (Insert name here)" Facebook wall post- If you know someone well enough to write a happy birthday message on their Facebook wall then take a little time and think of something else to say other than just "Happy Bday (Insert name here)"
Now I'll continually update this list whenever I think of more things that I hate. Suggestions are welcome.
As I got to thinking about lists I was reminded of one that a girl from my high school made a few years back. In the About Me section of her Facebook page she created a list of things that she hates; a "hate" list. For the record, it was more of a pet peeve list, but hate sounds much cooler. She still has the "hate" list up and running and updates it every once in a while. A few examples from her list are: ipod walkers, wet dogs, clouds, seaweed, and widescreen dvds. Now this of course got me thinking of the things that I hate. We'll start with an item from her list that I hate as well.
1.) One word text messages-I have a friend who's notorious for texting people the letter "o" as in "oh" and for angrily texting question marks when someone doesn't respond to a previous text within 10 minutes. Similarily can we please stop texting "k" and "ya" to one another? I mean, I guess the previous texter sometimes deserves a little bit of the blame for posing a simple yes or no question, but would it kill us to write "ok sounds good/ok will do" and "yeah that's right" instead?
2.) Women that keep their maiden name- This, to me, is the ultimate slap in the face. Marriage is a commitment and if you can't sacrifice your maiden name, then why even bother getting married in the first place? When a man asks you to marry him and you say yes, you know going in that it's expected of you to take his last name as your own. Don't get on your high horse like a raging feminist and think about keeping your maiden name in any capacity. This hyphenated shit is out of control. I mean, if you keep your maiden name or try this hyphenated nonsense things will get real messy when you have kids.
3.) Cigarette smoking- This is my number one pet peeve. I can't figure out why twenty somethings smoke cigs. Not only is it extremely unhealthy, it's unattractive. Did the D.A.R.E campaign teach my peers nothing?
I give people above the age of 40 a pass for smoking cigarettes because back then they didn't know how bad they were for their lungs, but kids my age have no excuse for their chain smoking. Cigarette smoking also bothers me because it leads to cigarette breaks. For example, a girl I work with takes about 5 cigarrette breaks per shift. If the workload picks up she "can't handle it" and needs the stress relief of a cig.
It should be noted that I'm no saint when it comes to smoking. I smoke the occasional cigar and hookah, but I would guess that I do about as much harm to my lungs in a year that the average smoker does in a week.
4.) Drew Barrymore- She's unattractive and annoying.
5.) People that wait at a 4-way stop sign until an oncoming car comes to a complete stop before they go- I guess it doesn't hurt to be better safe than sorry, but come onnnn. Isn't it a bit over cautious to assume that everyone is going to blow right through a stop sign?
6.) Pocket dialing- A friend from highschool that I virtually never speak to must have pocket dialed me 15 times in June/July. I answered the first few times thinking he had something relevant to tell me, but all I heard was mumbled conversation. The next few times I just silenced the calls and moved on with my life. Then I started hitting ignore and calling him right back, but he never answered. Then one time I answered, hung up and sent him a text that said, "Dude, what's goin on here? You keep pocket dialing me?" He responded by saying, "No I didn't. I just wanted to see how youre doing." I was literally stunned. This clown had been pocket dialing me for a month and when I called him out on it he tried to play it off like he was trying to keep in touch. Un-beeeee-lievvvv-able. Sure enough I got two more pocket calls from him later that week.
7.) Touchdown. Commercial. Kickoff. Commercial.- There are plenty of enough natural breaks in a football game (touchdowns/field goals, changes of possession, timeouts, the end of quarters, and the two minute warnings) for commercials.
8.) The word "cliche"- I have a long standing belief that the word "cliche" is overused. To me, it's a catchy word that every kid in America thought was cool to say. "That's so cliche." "What a cliche answer." etc. I also hate unoriginal (cliche) romantic notions like asking a girl out/to marry you on Valentine's Day/New Year's Eve. I must say, however, that the greatest advice I've ever given was when I told a friend to break up with his long term girlfriend at 11:50 on December 31st by saying that he wanted to start the new year off right.
9.) People that smack their lips when they eat- A few of my former roommates smacked their lips so loud when they ate that I couldn't function within a 20 foot radius of them. Maybe I'm just ultra sensitive about the issue because my brother and I used to yell at each other for doing it as kids at the dinner table, but it's like nails on a chalk board to me now.
10.) The "Happy Bday (Insert name here)" Facebook wall post- If you know someone well enough to write a happy birthday message on their Facebook wall then take a little time and think of something else to say other than just "Happy Bday (Insert name here)"
Now I'll continually update this list whenever I think of more things that I hate. Suggestions are welcome.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks
Believe it or not, about a month ago I started writing for an online women's magazine. I know, I know, it seems like I went soft, but after spending a year of my life unintentionally tormenting women with my writing, I figured it was time to give back. Actually my old news writing professor sent me the link to the job application because she thought that it was perfect for me. My job with the site was simply to write an article a week on female issues from the male perspective.
Now I knew going into this that my editor was gushing with feministic ideals simply based on the fact that she's the editor of an online women's magazine geared towards 18-25 year olds. This was definitely a cause for concern at first, but I wasn't deterred because she loved a few of my old "He Said" articles that I had included in my application for the position. (I tamed them down a bit)
Sure enough, after just a few weeks I apparently reverted back to my old ways. I must admit that I did not forsee this problem happening. I figured that I'd be able to successfully tailor my writing to a new audience (women) and help them by being honest about the male perspective.
A few days after I sent in my 4th article, tentatively titled "In Support of Gender Roles", I got an email back from my editor asking me to make severe changes to the piece or to just scrap it altogether. She was actually very cool about it, but she thought the article was rife with stereotypes and would be considered offensive by several people.
Please read the prospective article that I sent in and vote on how offensive you find it to be.
In Support of Gender Roles
Let me first state that in no way, shape, or form am I attempting to cast a negative shadow on the societal advancements that women have made in the past century. Even with all of the progress thus far there is still not equality between the sexes. Women still only make something like 70 cents on the dollar of what men in similar positions do and this is not fair. That being said, let’s not forget about all the niceties that our patriarchal system provides for women.
If true gender equality is ever reached there would be no more “Ladies first”. Men would no longer hold the car door open or lay their jackets down to prevent women from having to step in puddles (Has this ever happened in real life?). Perhaps most importantly men would no longer pay for everything on dates. Now I say all of this in jest, but there are certain areas of our societal gender roles that I would like to caution women about because they have unexpectedly begun to gray.
Working Out
Make no mistake about it. Women are athletes too. They have to lift weights just like guys do so that they have a competitive advantage over their opponents. I get that. All I’ll say is that girls that don’t partake in athletic competition should steer clear of the weight room. There’s nothing worse than seeing a girl that becomes a weight room fiend like the guy that only does curls and has a barbed wire tattoo around his biceps. Guys want to feel the need to protect you from danger. We want you to ask us to open jars for you. So please stick to your treadmills, ellipticals, and yoga.
Now I’ll admit that working out for girls must be tough because they have to walk a fine line. Guys, for superficial reasons, do prefer skinny girls, but this does not mean that girls should take working out to the extreme. A fine toned stomach is attractive. A six pack is a little intimidating.
Sports
The wide world of sports is sort of man’s escape from women. Sometimes we just want to sit on the couch, throw back a few brewskis, and watch the game with the guys. That is our quintessential idea of what it is to be masculine. Sports are our lexicon, our buffer zone. Sports are the foundation upon which many male friendships are built. I swear if you took sports out of the equation my relationship with at least three people would become obsolete. Sports give guys a chance to be guys. I guess what I’m saying is, don’t feel pressure to watch sports with your boyfriend. In all likelihood he doesn’t necessarily want you there in the first place. Go shopping, get your nails done, or better yet go get two centimeters cut from your hair and then get mad at us for not noticing. We’re fine with that.
Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with watching or going to a sporting event with your boyfriend. Sometimes he wants to show you that macho side of him or maybe you just want to be a part of his fun. That’s fine. Just don’t become overbearing when it comes to sports. Actually a fellow male writer recently wrote an article about how to sprinkle in your boyfriend’s love of sports into your relationship.
Drinking Alcohol
Everybody likes to have a good time and for many of us alcohol is a more than suitable catalyst. In college alcohol is at the heart of much of the social events and situations that undergrads particularly enjoy. All sorts of drinking games and devices help college kids imbibe egregious amounts of alcohol so that they can fraternize with the opposite sex. It’s basically a free-for-all. While sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in this parade of drunkenness, it’s important, especially for girls, to maintain a certain level of self-respect. Sure there are going to be some nights that you wish you could forget/remember. We all have those. Just don’t make it a common occurrence.
While people like and enjoy the girl that’s the life of the party, nobody in their right mind wants to date her. Quite frankly her uncontrollable desire for attention is unattractive. More often than not this sort of person needs a babysitter after a while anyway. Leave this childish and unruly behavior for your male counterparts. We don’t know any better than to make fools of ourselves.
I think it's fair to say that most of you are familiar with my past writing exploits. After reading the title to this article, didn't you expect me to bring the hammer down? Maybe I'm just desensitized to anti-feminist literature because I'm a guy, but I see nothing offensive in that article. In fact, I feel as if I went out of my way to cover my tracks after everything I said that could even be considered slightly anti-female. What pains me the most is that I think I even broke a rule of manhood by referring to females as athletes.
Now I knew going into this that my editor was gushing with feministic ideals simply based on the fact that she's the editor of an online women's magazine geared towards 18-25 year olds. This was definitely a cause for concern at first, but I wasn't deterred because she loved a few of my old "He Said" articles that I had included in my application for the position. (I tamed them down a bit)
Sure enough, after just a few weeks I apparently reverted back to my old ways. I must admit that I did not forsee this problem happening. I figured that I'd be able to successfully tailor my writing to a new audience (women) and help them by being honest about the male perspective.
A few days after I sent in my 4th article, tentatively titled "In Support of Gender Roles", I got an email back from my editor asking me to make severe changes to the piece or to just scrap it altogether. She was actually very cool about it, but she thought the article was rife with stereotypes and would be considered offensive by several people.
Please read the prospective article that I sent in and vote on how offensive you find it to be.
In Support of Gender Roles
Let me first state that in no way, shape, or form am I attempting to cast a negative shadow on the societal advancements that women have made in the past century. Even with all of the progress thus far there is still not equality between the sexes. Women still only make something like 70 cents on the dollar of what men in similar positions do and this is not fair. That being said, let’s not forget about all the niceties that our patriarchal system provides for women.
If true gender equality is ever reached there would be no more “Ladies first”. Men would no longer hold the car door open or lay their jackets down to prevent women from having to step in puddles (Has this ever happened in real life?). Perhaps most importantly men would no longer pay for everything on dates. Now I say all of this in jest, but there are certain areas of our societal gender roles that I would like to caution women about because they have unexpectedly begun to gray.
Working Out
Make no mistake about it. Women are athletes too. They have to lift weights just like guys do so that they have a competitive advantage over their opponents. I get that. All I’ll say is that girls that don’t partake in athletic competition should steer clear of the weight room. There’s nothing worse than seeing a girl that becomes a weight room fiend like the guy that only does curls and has a barbed wire tattoo around his biceps. Guys want to feel the need to protect you from danger. We want you to ask us to open jars for you. So please stick to your treadmills, ellipticals, and yoga.
Now I’ll admit that working out for girls must be tough because they have to walk a fine line. Guys, for superficial reasons, do prefer skinny girls, but this does not mean that girls should take working out to the extreme. A fine toned stomach is attractive. A six pack is a little intimidating.
Sports
The wide world of sports is sort of man’s escape from women. Sometimes we just want to sit on the couch, throw back a few brewskis, and watch the game with the guys. That is our quintessential idea of what it is to be masculine. Sports are our lexicon, our buffer zone. Sports are the foundation upon which many male friendships are built. I swear if you took sports out of the equation my relationship with at least three people would become obsolete. Sports give guys a chance to be guys. I guess what I’m saying is, don’t feel pressure to watch sports with your boyfriend. In all likelihood he doesn’t necessarily want you there in the first place. Go shopping, get your nails done, or better yet go get two centimeters cut from your hair and then get mad at us for not noticing. We’re fine with that.
Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with watching or going to a sporting event with your boyfriend. Sometimes he wants to show you that macho side of him or maybe you just want to be a part of his fun. That’s fine. Just don’t become overbearing when it comes to sports. Actually a fellow male writer recently wrote an article about how to sprinkle in your boyfriend’s love of sports into your relationship.
Drinking Alcohol
Everybody likes to have a good time and for many of us alcohol is a more than suitable catalyst. In college alcohol is at the heart of much of the social events and situations that undergrads particularly enjoy. All sorts of drinking games and devices help college kids imbibe egregious amounts of alcohol so that they can fraternize with the opposite sex. It’s basically a free-for-all. While sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in this parade of drunkenness, it’s important, especially for girls, to maintain a certain level of self-respect. Sure there are going to be some nights that you wish you could forget/remember. We all have those. Just don’t make it a common occurrence.
While people like and enjoy the girl that’s the life of the party, nobody in their right mind wants to date her. Quite frankly her uncontrollable desire for attention is unattractive. More often than not this sort of person needs a babysitter after a while anyway. Leave this childish and unruly behavior for your male counterparts. We don’t know any better than to make fools of ourselves.
I think it's fair to say that most of you are familiar with my past writing exploits. After reading the title to this article, didn't you expect me to bring the hammer down? Maybe I'm just desensitized to anti-feminist literature because I'm a guy, but I see nothing offensive in that article. In fact, I feel as if I went out of my way to cover my tracks after everything I said that could even be considered slightly anti-female. What pains me the most is that I think I even broke a rule of manhood by referring to females as athletes.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Guilty Pleasures
I make no secret about my anti-feminist stance. That is not to say that women don't deserve equal rights (they do). It's just that I think the feminists of the world pick and choose the wrong battles in their quest for equality. For example, in 2003 feminists got all hot and bothered because women were not allowed to be members at Augusta National. I could rant about the irrationality/hypocrisy behind their flawed logic, but I'll spare you from my wrath.
My staunch masculine agenda is part conviction, part unintentional, and part facade. In all honesty, I'm a supporter of women's rights, but like I said in the above paragraph, I am not a supporter of the women that champion this campaign. My opinion on the matter infuriates many, my mother included. She once thought that I made an anti-female remark before realizing that it was her brother (my uncle, who's the man) that was the one who made it. Apparently he said to her quite simply that he does not read books written by women. Upon hearing this, I went up to my room and perused my bookcase. Sure enough, every book that I had read was written by a man. (However it should be noted that I have read the first 4 Harry Potter books). Ever since then, I have held fast to my stance against feminist (or I guess just female) literature. I wish I could say the same about female music.
Most guys do their best to give off this macho male persona, but behind closed doors they are a sucker for plenty of what would be characterized as feminine things. Whether it's teen dramas on TV, romantic comedies, or female pop songs, the feminine things guys secretly enjoy are oftentimes referred to as "guilty pleasures." The point being, you feel guilty about enjoying something because you know others would criticize you for it.
Here now, are the top 10 songs by female artists that I secretly (well not anymore) enjoy.
10.) Taylor Swift- Love Story
This song was overplayed more than "The Macarena" and "Who Let the Dogs Out" combined, but I still think it's awesome. I know for a fact that I'm not the only guy that feels that way because a friend of mine introduced me to this song last Fall by making me watch this video. The inclusion of "Love Story" fulfills my Country song quota for this countdown, so I must give my apologies to what is now my second favorite Country song by a female artist.
9.) Natalie Imbruglia- Torn
I was 11 when this song came out and liking it wasn't exactly frowned upon then, but the fact that I still enjoy it gets it into the top ten. I mean, I had plenty of years to get over it, but somehow, someway it ended up on my ipod. I don't have a one hit wonder quota to fulfill, but if I did this one certainly would have covered it.
8.) Cyndi Lauper- Time After Time
Lauper's timeless classic first debuted in 1984 and was nominated for Song of the Year at the 1985 Grammy's (Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do with it came out on top). If LeBron likes it, why can't I, right?
Speaking of the '80's, it's a shame that there isn't enough room on the countdown for the 1982 Grammy Award winning hit "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes.
7.) Whitney Houston- One Moment in Time
This song was made for sports related picture/video montages. In fact, it was written for NBC's coverage of the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul (that's in South Korea, by the way). Now, my highschool football team was not littered with Olympians, but this song was a staple of our season highlight tape every year. A friend of mine actually once said that he watched the highlight tape over and over, just so he had an excuse to listen to this song.
Although the song was written for American Olympians, this video is still pretty cool.
6.) Christina Aguilera- What A Girl Wants
This might be the most difficult song on the list to admit to liking because the title is inherently female. "What A Girl Wants" came out at the peak of my TRL viewing career and it was a personal favorite of mine because I had a huge crush on Christina Aguilera. The video reinforced my belief that the female stomach is a very underrated feature. I think it's rarely talked about because it goes without saying that guys are superficial and obviously prefer skinny girls. Being skinny is great, but a little tone/definition on the belly can be an appealing attribute. Too much definition though, can be unattractive. It's a fine line, but something for women everywhere to strive for.
5.) Celine Dion- That's The Way It Is
The Blue Jays and Pamela Anderson aside, Celine Dion is the greatest thing to ever come out of Canada. As many of you know, I'm also a big fan of Celine's Christmas music, but there was no way I could have chosen a personal favorite from those, so I went in another direction. I mean, what can I say? Celine Dion's music has been force fed to me my entire life by driving in a car with my mother (For those of you that have their doubts, she does in fact have her license).
Back in the highschool, a girl burned me a copy of this Celine Dion album and gave it to me in front of a huge crowd in the middle of the hallway at school the next day. Knowing that I would face public scrutiny if my friends found out what was on the CD, I played it off and said, "Thanks for burning me the new Jay-Z CD. I really appreciate it." Thankfully she just laughed instead of blowing up my spot.
4.) One of my friends from home went on to play baseball in college at Florida Atlantic (I think). He was a left-handed starter in highschool, but they made him a closer in college. Some closers in the major leagues (namely Yankee closer Mariano Rivera) are known for their bad ass entrance music, so I asked my buddy what his was going to be. He responded with the 4th song on my countdown of guilty pleasure's:
Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
3.) Michelle Branch- Breathe
This song is actually great for long road trips because it gives you a little pick me up if you are getting tired. I have this song on a CD that I made (Track 9) and you better believe that I used to casually skip it over when I was driving across the state of New York with my oldest brother.
2.) Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles
A few things about this song. 1.) Vanessa Carlton really one-upped The Proclaimers who would only walk 500 miles. 2.) Vanessa Carlton is smokin' hot in a free thinking artistic kind of way. 3.) I listened to this song 4 times in the course of this post.
And 4.) Back when this song first came out (circa 2003-04), two of my friends were driving somewhere and this song came on the radio. They obviously both loved the song, but didn't want the other to know. It prompted the following exchange, which is eerily similar to the scene from Tommy Boy (1995).
Friend A- You can change it if you want to.
Friend B- It's up to you.
Friend A- I don't care either way.
Friend B- I can deal with it if you can.
1.) Mariah Carey- Always Be My Baby
Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby (Official Music Video) -
Choosing this Mariah Carey song for me was a no-brainer because I may or may not know every word, but much like Celine Dion, I could have went with any number of her hits. I'm also a big fan of both "Hero" and "One Sweet Day" (featuring Boyz II Men). To date, Mariah still has the most #1 hits of any solo artist of all time. The only band with more #1's than her is The Beatles. It should come as no surprise then that they both have albums referencing their #1 hits. Mariah with the aptly titled #1's, which she released in 1998, and The Beatles with, The Beatles One, which was released in 2000.
Honorable Mention- Enya- "Only Time", Monica- "For You I Will", Jewel- "Hands", Avril Lavigne- "Complicated", Mandy Moore- "Candy", Jessica Simpson- "With You"
My staunch masculine agenda is part conviction, part unintentional, and part facade. In all honesty, I'm a supporter of women's rights, but like I said in the above paragraph, I am not a supporter of the women that champion this campaign. My opinion on the matter infuriates many, my mother included. She once thought that I made an anti-female remark before realizing that it was her brother (my uncle, who's the man) that was the one who made it. Apparently he said to her quite simply that he does not read books written by women. Upon hearing this, I went up to my room and perused my bookcase. Sure enough, every book that I had read was written by a man. (However it should be noted that I have read the first 4 Harry Potter books). Ever since then, I have held fast to my stance against feminist (or I guess just female) literature. I wish I could say the same about female music.
Most guys do their best to give off this macho male persona, but behind closed doors they are a sucker for plenty of what would be characterized as feminine things. Whether it's teen dramas on TV, romantic comedies, or female pop songs, the feminine things guys secretly enjoy are oftentimes referred to as "guilty pleasures." The point being, you feel guilty about enjoying something because you know others would criticize you for it.
Here now, are the top 10 songs by female artists that I secretly (well not anymore) enjoy.
10.) Taylor Swift- Love Story
This song was overplayed more than "The Macarena" and "Who Let the Dogs Out" combined, but I still think it's awesome. I know for a fact that I'm not the only guy that feels that way because a friend of mine introduced me to this song last Fall by making me watch this video. The inclusion of "Love Story" fulfills my Country song quota for this countdown, so I must give my apologies to what is now my second favorite Country song by a female artist.
9.) Natalie Imbruglia- Torn
I was 11 when this song came out and liking it wasn't exactly frowned upon then, but the fact that I still enjoy it gets it into the top ten. I mean, I had plenty of years to get over it, but somehow, someway it ended up on my ipod. I don't have a one hit wonder quota to fulfill, but if I did this one certainly would have covered it.
8.) Cyndi Lauper- Time After Time
Lauper's timeless classic first debuted in 1984 and was nominated for Song of the Year at the 1985 Grammy's (Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do with it came out on top). If LeBron likes it, why can't I, right?
Speaking of the '80's, it's a shame that there isn't enough room on the countdown for the 1982 Grammy Award winning hit "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes.
7.) Whitney Houston- One Moment in Time
This song was made for sports related picture/video montages. In fact, it was written for NBC's coverage of the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul (that's in South Korea, by the way). Now, my highschool football team was not littered with Olympians, but this song was a staple of our season highlight tape every year. A friend of mine actually once said that he watched the highlight tape over and over, just so he had an excuse to listen to this song.
Although the song was written for American Olympians, this video is still pretty cool.
6.) Christina Aguilera- What A Girl Wants
This might be the most difficult song on the list to admit to liking because the title is inherently female. "What A Girl Wants" came out at the peak of my TRL viewing career and it was a personal favorite of mine because I had a huge crush on Christina Aguilera. The video reinforced my belief that the female stomach is a very underrated feature. I think it's rarely talked about because it goes without saying that guys are superficial and obviously prefer skinny girls. Being skinny is great, but a little tone/definition on the belly can be an appealing attribute. Too much definition though, can be unattractive. It's a fine line, but something for women everywhere to strive for.
5.) Celine Dion- That's The Way It Is
The Blue Jays and Pamela Anderson aside, Celine Dion is the greatest thing to ever come out of Canada. As many of you know, I'm also a big fan of Celine's Christmas music, but there was no way I could have chosen a personal favorite from those, so I went in another direction. I mean, what can I say? Celine Dion's music has been force fed to me my entire life by driving in a car with my mother (For those of you that have their doubts, she does in fact have her license).
Back in the highschool, a girl burned me a copy of this Celine Dion album and gave it to me in front of a huge crowd in the middle of the hallway at school the next day. Knowing that I would face public scrutiny if my friends found out what was on the CD, I played it off and said, "Thanks for burning me the new Jay-Z CD. I really appreciate it." Thankfully she just laughed instead of blowing up my spot.
4.) One of my friends from home went on to play baseball in college at Florida Atlantic (I think). He was a left-handed starter in highschool, but they made him a closer in college. Some closers in the major leagues (namely Yankee closer Mariano Rivera) are known for their bad ass entrance music, so I asked my buddy what his was going to be. He responded with the 4th song on my countdown of guilty pleasure's:
Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
3.) Michelle Branch- Breathe
This song is actually great for long road trips because it gives you a little pick me up if you are getting tired. I have this song on a CD that I made (Track 9) and you better believe that I used to casually skip it over when I was driving across the state of New York with my oldest brother.
2.) Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles
A few things about this song. 1.) Vanessa Carlton really one-upped The Proclaimers who would only walk 500 miles. 2.) Vanessa Carlton is smokin' hot in a free thinking artistic kind of way. 3.) I listened to this song 4 times in the course of this post.
And 4.) Back when this song first came out (circa 2003-04), two of my friends were driving somewhere and this song came on the radio. They obviously both loved the song, but didn't want the other to know. It prompted the following exchange, which is eerily similar to the scene from Tommy Boy (1995).
Friend A- You can change it if you want to.
Friend B- It's up to you.
Friend A- I don't care either way.
Friend B- I can deal with it if you can.
1.) Mariah Carey- Always Be My Baby
Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby (Official Music Video) -
Choosing this Mariah Carey song for me was a no-brainer because I may or may not know every word, but much like Celine Dion, I could have went with any number of her hits. I'm also a big fan of both "Hero" and "One Sweet Day" (featuring Boyz II Men). To date, Mariah still has the most #1 hits of any solo artist of all time. The only band with more #1's than her is The Beatles. It should come as no surprise then that they both have albums referencing their #1 hits. Mariah with the aptly titled #1's, which she released in 1998, and The Beatles with, The Beatles One, which was released in 2000.
Honorable Mention- Enya- "Only Time", Monica- "For You I Will", Jewel- "Hands", Avril Lavigne- "Complicated", Mandy Moore- "Candy", Jessica Simpson- "With You"
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Fightin' Coloreds
There is an entire genre of comedy dedicated to racial differences, but you must walk a fine line if you choose that path (unless of course you are black). Now my biggest qualm with feminists is that they pick the wrong battles. They take the littlest situations and make a huge deal out of them. For example, Augusta National (a private club mind you) doesn't allow female members. I don't see what the big deal is. Private clubs can do whatever they want. Along the same lines, the PGA lets Michelle Wie play in a handful of tournaments, but no men are allowed to play in LPGA events. This bothers me because she prevents a man who works his ass off just so that he can qualify for tournaments from being able to see his hard work pay off. That being said, black people are exponentially worse than feminists. I wouldn't dare say the kinds of things about black people that I say about women. 1.) Because black people are sensitive beyond belief and 2.) all black people can beat me up.
Stephen Colbert is probably the best interviewer on the planet. His quick wit catches just about everyone he interviews off guard. While the above video is hilarious at times (some of it isn't that funny), is it not also racially insensitive? And the fact that he is saying these things to the president and CEO of the most sensitve organization of all time makes it that much edgier.
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Female problem with Fantasy Football
Week 16 in the NFL concludes tonight in Chicago and with that wives and girlfriends everywhere will be rejoicing knowing that it also means the end of the fantasy football season. From mid August to late December men waste countless hours 'managing' their fantasy teams. They look at matchups, filter stats, read what the experts think, try to trade players, and make decisions about who they should play on gameday. I don't mean to undermine the draft, but I feel like I could write an entire blog entry about the preparations and strategies that go into that.
Women, for the life of them, can't figure out this obsession. They don't understand what would possess someone to become so attached to a team that doesn't actually exist. I think their overarching problem hinges on the word 'fantasy'. Their exclusion from this cyber world of fantasy football is a bit troubling for them. In a perfect world, they want all things that have to do with their man and the word 'fantasy' to involve them. When you think about it, it's a shame that we didn't stick with 'rotisserie' because women would not find that nearly as objectionable.
Women see this attachment to fantasy football and deep down wish that the time spent 'managing' a fantasy team's problems was instead devoted to them and their problems. Women are so protective of their men that they see fantasy football as a threat. In essence, men are 'cheating' on their wives and girlfriends with fantasy football. This notion was captured beautifully in the movie Knocked Up, in which Paul Rudd's character was suspected of cheating on his wife, played by Leslie Mann (fun fact- in real life she is married to Judd Apatow and the kids in the movie are theirs). Leslie Mann's character then tracks him down only to find out that he was partaking in a fantasy baseball draft (he got Matsui) and that he sometimes goes to movies by himself.
Now that I have laid out the actual reasons that women dislike fantasy football, I must warn you that no woman in their right mind would ever admit it. If asked their thoughts on fantasy football, women would largely say, "I just think it's dumb and pointless. I don't get why men waste so much time with it," and most of them would truly believe that those were their feelings in regards to it. However, I stand by my Freud like analysis because 1.) I think it's accurate and 2.) I've been trying to get a female to post a comment on this blog for a while and I think this might do the trick. Women's feelings on fantasy football are in accordance with men's feelings about shopping. If asked their thoughts on shopping, men would largely say, "I think it's dumb." (Obviously men are more succinct in their thought process). Just like every little girls dream is to one day be a model or fashion designer, every little boy dreams of one day being the GM or owner of a professional sports franchise.
Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Plenty of women have come to the dark side and play in fantasy football leagues with their husbands, boyfriends, or co-workers. These women are what we fantasy guys like to call 'keepers'. Although I wish it wasn't true, there are both sides to the coin on this one as well. Some straight men enjoy shopping, doing the dishes, and baking. Case in point...
Women, for the life of them, can't figure out this obsession. They don't understand what would possess someone to become so attached to a team that doesn't actually exist. I think their overarching problem hinges on the word 'fantasy'. Their exclusion from this cyber world of fantasy football is a bit troubling for them. In a perfect world, they want all things that have to do with their man and the word 'fantasy' to involve them. When you think about it, it's a shame that we didn't stick with 'rotisserie' because women would not find that nearly as objectionable.
Women see this attachment to fantasy football and deep down wish that the time spent 'managing' a fantasy team's problems was instead devoted to them and their problems. Women are so protective of their men that they see fantasy football as a threat. In essence, men are 'cheating' on their wives and girlfriends with fantasy football. This notion was captured beautifully in the movie Knocked Up, in which Paul Rudd's character was suspected of cheating on his wife, played by Leslie Mann (fun fact- in real life she is married to Judd Apatow and the kids in the movie are theirs). Leslie Mann's character then tracks him down only to find out that he was partaking in a fantasy baseball draft (he got Matsui) and that he sometimes goes to movies by himself.
Now that I have laid out the actual reasons that women dislike fantasy football, I must warn you that no woman in their right mind would ever admit it. If asked their thoughts on fantasy football, women would largely say, "I just think it's dumb and pointless. I don't get why men waste so much time with it," and most of them would truly believe that those were their feelings in regards to it. However, I stand by my Freud like analysis because 1.) I think it's accurate and 2.) I've been trying to get a female to post a comment on this blog for a while and I think this might do the trick. Women's feelings on fantasy football are in accordance with men's feelings about shopping. If asked their thoughts on shopping, men would largely say, "I think it's dumb." (Obviously men are more succinct in their thought process). Just like every little girls dream is to one day be a model or fashion designer, every little boy dreams of one day being the GM or owner of a professional sports franchise.
Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Plenty of women have come to the dark side and play in fantasy football leagues with their husbands, boyfriends, or co-workers. These women are what we fantasy guys like to call 'keepers'. Although I wish it wasn't true, there are both sides to the coin on this one as well. Some straight men enjoy shopping, doing the dishes, and baking. Case in point...
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