Everything's Bigger in...

So I was in the Dallas/Fort Worth area this weekend visiting my boy, and friend of the blog, RJ, who’s lived there for a few years. He’s a Cowboys fan and I’m a Giants fan, so it seemed like the perfect weekend to visit. Our buddy Hermo, who's a Giants fan like me, was supposed to come to, but he bailed a few weeks ago.

Here are some of the highlights of the trip.


1.) Real Texas BBQ- After RJ picked me up from the airport we went directly to a place called Railhead BBQ.



I didn’t know what I was in for, so I just went with the sampler platter. The platter contained delicious, moist ribs (the meat was literally falling off the bone), pulled pork, baked beans that I didn’t touch, coleslaw, barbecue sauce, two slices of white bread that seemed out of place even when I made a half sandwich with the pulled pork, and a gigantic goblet of beer that was pre-frozen (the goblet, not the beer) so much so that chunks of ice formed in the beer almost instantly. It was as if I were drinking a chemist’s concoction and not a beer, but it was phenomenal.


2.) Lockheed Factory Tour- RJ works for Lockheed Martin, which is a defense/technology based company that makes fighter jets, weapons, etc. for the U.S. government. The Fort Worth location manufactures three different types of fighter jets, so I got my American pride on as I toured the facility.



The place is enormous, which I guess makes sense because they build planes there. I wish I had a pedometer on during my visit because I’m pretty sure that I walked for over 2 miles just checking things out. My favorite part was the stealth paint color that reflects radars because it’s apparently such a high valued technology that if a drop gets in an employee’s hair the company will cut it all off before you can leave the premises.


3.) In & Out Burger- People on the West Coast crank it to In & Out Burger, so when I saw one in Dallas I made sure that we went there. I ordered a double double with fries and chocolate milkshake. The burger was amazing, but the fries were horrible…and I was hammered. Usually everything tastes great when I’m drunk, but these fries were brutal. The hype around In & Out Burger may be through the roof, but I’d much rather have Five Guys or Whataburger.


4.) Dealey Plaza- In case you don’t know, I was a politics minor in college and I’m a bit of a history buff, so when I decided to go to Dallas the first thing I wanted to do was go to Dealey Plaza. I’m sure most of you are asking yourself, “What’s Dealey Plaza?” Dealey Plaza is where JFK was assassinated on November 22nd, 1963. Don’t worry if you didn’t know that. I went to check it out with someone (RJ’s girlfriend) who thought JFK was assassinated in Washington DC and she lived in Texas for over a year. I think it’s safe to say that it’s the most famous murder in American history (most famous murder in history is probably Caesar, right?), especially because of the conspiracy theories about who may have played a role in its execution.


View from the Grassy Knoll

We were able to tour the 6th floor of the Texas School Book depository (where Lee Harvey Oswald fired at JFK), take pictures from the Grassy Knoll (where many believe a second shooter was located), and stand on the two X’s in the street which indicate where the presidential motorcade was when JFK was first hit and where he was when his head was blown off. It was a very cool feeling to take in such a historical site.


5.) Gun range- For the first time in my life I unloaded a gun that wasn’t attached to my body. I figured that if I was in Texas I had to shoot a gun, so it was probably #2 on my to do list. I was dumping my pants on the way to the range because of all the safety concerns, but it was more of a nervous anxiety. I was nervous about doing something wrong or against protocol, but also anxious to feel what it was like to pull the trigger on an actual fire arm.



The feeling of shooting a gun is unlike any feeling I’ve ever experienced. It is absolutely exhilarating to wield so much power. The avalanche of adrenaline adds to this feeling of invincibility, but there is also something calming and liberating about it.


6.) Authentic Dr. Pepper- People drink Dr. Pepper like it’s water down in Texas. In fact, it was invented in the 1880’s by a man named Charles Alderton in Waco. The first bottling plant was established in the nearby town of Dublin and it’s still in operation. It’s also the only plant that still uses the original formula because in the 1970’s all of the other bottling plants began to use cheaper corn sweeteners (high fructose corn syrup) instead of the original sugar. The Dublin plant only ships their Dr. Pepper to stores within a 44 mile radius, so I assumed that I wouldn’t be able to taste the original product while in Texas because Dallas is about 100 miles northeast of Waco. Apparently some of the stores in the 44 mile radius sell the original sugar variety to retail chains (Walmart) in Dallas, so I had the opportunity to try to the real formula. My expectations were naturally high and the original sugar variety didn’t exactly meet them. The difference, to my admittedly weak palate, was negligible.


7.) Honky Tonk Bar- We went to a bar on Friday night and if I didn’t know any better I would have thought I was in NYC or Boston. Looking around no one looked like they were from Texas. So on Saturday RJ took me to the area of Forth Worth known as The Stockyards.



We went to a bar called Cadillac’s that was as honky tonk as honky tonk gets. They were playing country songs that avid country fans from the Northeast have most likely never heard of and everyone in the bar knew all of the words. I saw about 4 Texas Rangers baseball hats and about 50 cowboy hats. 75% of the guys were dressed like they just came from the rodeo. In fact, all of the TVs in the bar were showing the rodeo. People were doing the Texas Two Step in a small area designated for dancing like it was going out of style. The age range of the clientele was about 20-60 and there was a nice mix. I swear, I felt more out of place than the lone black guy in the bar dressed in Cowboy garb. That all said, I thought it was awesome.


8.) Cowboy Stadium- Although there were plenty of reasons for me to go to Dallas, the main reason was to see Cowboy Stadium. Back in 2009 it made my Top 10 list of sports venues that every fan needs to experience and I’m glad that I got to check it off my list. First and foremost, the video screen is as advertised…enormous.



I spent about 66% of the game looking at it. That might have something to do with the fact that we didn’t get actual tickets to the game. We got party passes and had to stand on the concourse for the entirety of the game, but I snuck up to watch the game with my own eyes a few times and even walked down a level and stood in the last row for the last 5 minutes of the 3rd quarter and first 7 minutes of the 4th quarter.



The fact that the Giants came back from a 12 point deficit in the final 3:14 made my experience in the stadium that much sweeter.

Double Down

There are few things that I pride myself in. In fact, when I say a few things I think I mean just three: sports, knowledge, and gluttony (I think poop is somewhere in the crosshairs between knowledge and gluttony).

1.) I live, work, sleep, and breathe sports. You know this.

2.) I crave knowledge like there's no tomorrow. Case in point (you already know that I record Jeopardy every night and write down how many questions/answers I get right), last week my brother sent me this link and told me to try "Capitals 3-Expert."

http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/web_games.htm

So, try it I did. I've had the state capitals memorized since first grade, so I was furioussss when I got one wrong (try to beat my 98% in 195 seconds).

3.) If I haven't said this already, I've certainly meant to- I'm convinced that I have what it takes to be a competitive eater. I don't know if it's that my digestive system works so well, but I feel as if I could make an appearance at one of my favorite sporting events of the year, the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest on Coney Island, if I took a year off from work and trained. Now, I'm not saying I'd win. In reality I wouldn't even come close, but the competitors on the low end of this contest don't eat as many hot dogs and buns as you think. I swear, some of these "athletes" only eat about 14-17 hotdogs and buns. I definitely think I could make it into that range.

That all being said, we have some important news in gluttony today. About 15 months ago, I brought you the bacon explosion, which looks more and more appealing everytime I see it.



Today I bring you the Double Down from KFC.



Yes, that's right. It's a bacon and cheese sandwich, except the "bread" is two slabs of fried chicken. Oh and by the way, there's something called the "Colonel's sauce" slathered inbetween all that bacon, cheese, and chicken as well. They had me sold at bacon, but I'm a sucker for secret sauces.

Someone that was fortunate enough to eat the sandwich before the general public had this to say, "Oh my God. That is the best thing ever. I don't know what "Colonel's Sauce" is, but it is like a party in my mouth. This is completely worth the five dollars. Unfortunately I'm going to end up weighing 700 lbs after this, but it is simply amazing."

Seeing that I pride myself in gluttony, I was obviously the first (white person) in line today at KFC. As I waited in line I scanned the menu, but didn't see the Double Down anywhere. I was bracing myself for disappointment when I finally got to the front of the line.

"I don't see it anywhere on the menu, but I'm interested in trying the Double Down."

The woman at the cash register laughed and asked if I just wanted the sandwich or if I wanted the meal.

"Let's get wild. I'll have the meal. Can I have the macaroni and cheese with that, please?"

After waiting 9 minutes in anxious anticipation, it was go time. I brought the chicken/bacon/cheese concoction back to my apartment, sent a picture of it to 3 friends and then went to work.

I initially tried to pick up the sandwich by the "bread", but soon realized that I was going to have to use the wax paper. I figured it was go big or go home time, so my first bite was a healthy one. I got both sides of the chicken, bacon, cheese, and the colonel's sauce.

As I had hoped, it was delicious.

I took my time eating the rest-mainly to make sure that I didn't go into cardiac arrest, but also to savor the delicacy. I'm glad I did too because each bite was toothsome to the nth degree.

After polishing off the Double Down and macaroni and cheese and washing it down with a Dr Pepper, I felt heavy. I would compare the feeling to a Saturday/Sunday diner session after going out the night before. The caloric intake has put me in a food coma. I want nothing more than to lie on my couch all day, but I will soon have to rally the troops and go to work. I honestly think that if someone ate 4-5 of these in a week they would die.

Will I eat something for dinner? Absolutely, but it won't be a sandwich with chicken as the bread.

125 Years of Excellence

Thanks to Pop Candy I have learned that my favorite soft drink Dr Pepper debuted way back in 1885 (even though I should have known this already because it says so on all of their cans). The brand celebrated it's 125th anniversary by staging a flash mob yesterday at the New York Stock Exchange.



The man singing is David Naughton (Cal Naughton, Jr's uncle?), who appeared in Dr Pepper's "Be a Pepper" ad campaign back in the 1970's. As much as I like Dr Pepper, I have to admit that this was one of the worst flash mob (apparently that's the term) performances that I have ever seen.

Either way, here are some cool things to know about Dr Pepper:

Dr Pepper predates Coca-Cola by one year.

There is no period in Dr Pepper as it was removed for styllistic and legibility reasons in the 1950's.

There is a Dr Pepper musuem in Waco, Texas.

In the Academy Award winning film Forrest Gump (1994), Forrest (played by Tom Hanks) is invited to the White House for being named as an All American kick returner for the University of Alabama. While there Forrest says, "The best part about goin' to the White House was, they had all the food and drink that you wanted ... I must have had me 15 Dr Peppers."

I own this t-shirt and wore it as a part of my not so witty Halloween costume.

"Dr." Pepper

Dr. Pepper, my favorite non-alcoholic beverage, has launced another advertising campaign featuring a famous "Doctor". Last year their pitch man was NBA legend Dr. J and I loved the commercial. This year they've selected rap/hip hop artist/producer Dr. Dre (Andre Romelle Young) and I'm not so sure how I feel about the selection.



Now I personally have no problem with Dr. Dre, but the fact that he was chosen as the spokesman for this campaign makes me wonder about the direction of Dr. Pepper's advertising. Are they now gearing their ads towards the African-American community? Of course this strategic marketing campaign is by no means new. For example, McDonald's shifted their focus to the black community back in 2003 when they came up with the slogan "I'm Lovin' it".

Now in the more likely scenario (which is that I'm 100% wrong) they just really like their "Trust me, I'm a Doctor" campaign and plan on continuing to use celebrity "Doctors" as their spokesmen.

Which begs the question, "Who will they choose next?"

Here are a few candidates that I thought of off the top of my head:

1.) Dr. Dolittle (Eddie Murphy)



If the powers that be at Dr. Pepper went this route I'd be right back on board with my inkling that my favorite soft drink is being marketed directly to the African-American community. Eddie Murphy's popularity may have decreased in the last decade or so, but he was the prominent African-American celebrity in the 1980s.

Also not for nothing, I know a girl whose dentist is named Dr. Dolittle and she's terrified of him.


2.) Dr. Phil



I've never been a Dr. Phil fan, but apparently he has some sort of national appeal. I'm sure you've all seen it, but everytime I hear Dr. Phil's name I can't help but think of this.


3.) Dr. J.D. Dorian (Zach Braff)



Is Scrubs still on the air? I know it was picked up by ABC, but did that last for a full season? Scrubs is one of those shows that I never really got into, but I've seen a bunch of episodes and I've never really been disappointed.

For some reason I get that the feeling that Braff is the most likely of all of my nominees to actually get picked and agree to doing commercials for Dr. Pepper.


4.) "McDreamy" Dr. Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey)



There's no question that the mere thought of "McDreamy" makes the majority of white suburban women cream themselves and considering that they are the primary grocery shoppers I think this would make for an extraordinarily successfil advertising campaign.


5.) Dr. House (Hugh Laurie)



I've heard nothing but good things about this show and I still have yet to see a single episode. From what I can tell the character House seems like the man so I would be thrilled if he was chosen to represent my favorite soft drink.


6.) Dr. Christian Troy and Dr. Sean McNamara



Nip/Tuck used to be a phenomenal show, but in the past few seasons it has just gotten completely ridiculous. I guess weird storylines come with the territory when your protaganists are plastic surgeons, but enough is enough. This series has dragged on for two seasons too many.


7.) Dr. James Andrews



Dr. James Andrews is the most famous orthopedic surgeon in the country. Whenever a high profile athlete needs surgery they go to Dr. James Andrews. He's so famous that he has the reverse Cher/Madonna appeal. He's one of those people that is always referred to by his full name.

While he's definitely very well known among the sports community, he definitely isn't very visibly. In fact, until I googled him less than a minute ago I never knew what he looked like (Not gonna lie, I thought he was younger).

I'm not sure if he has any commercial appeal, but if any true sports fan heard/saw his name they would immediately know who he was. Now that I think of it that's a pretty good question to ask someone (I'm looking at you every girl I know that's ever said the following) who claims to be "a huge sports fan. If they don't answer "Dr. James Andrews" to the question, "Who is the doctor that all of the big time athetes go to when they need surgery?" than they are not a true sports fan.

Free Dr. P

Don't forget that tomorrow is that day that you can sign up to get a coupon to redeem a free 20 oz. Dr.Pepper because of the release of the new Guns 'N Roses album Chinese Democracy.

Check out this Dr. P related blurb from Esquire earlier this month.

Now for all of you lazy people out there, here is what is written in that article.

This special formulation of Dr. Pepper is made from imperial cane sugar. And you can only get it within a 44-mile radius of Dublin, Texas. It's hard to espouse tradition without sounding like Wilford Brimley grunting the virtues of oatmeal, but old pop is better than new pop, and that's just facts. In the 1970s and 1980s, when the price of sugar began to rise, most bottlers switched over to high-fructose corn syrup--except the Dr. Pepper bottling plant in Dublin, Texas, the only DP plant never to have used anything but Imperial pure can sugar to sweeten its unique brand of black gold. It's like drinking nature's perfect candy, plus fizz. The hitch is, it's available only within a 44-mile radius of Dublin. While it probably isn't worth the drive to west Texas to taste it--a ranch filled with crazy pussy probably isn't worth the drive to west Texas--if you're passing through Comanche, Desdemona, or Fairy, make sure you stop for a cold bottle of the last best pop in America.


First of all, I think I'm going to go ahead and add imbibing about fifteen of them Dr. Peppers to my lifelong to do list. Secondly, a ranch filled with crazy pussy is definitely worth the drive to west Texas. Hell, my friends and I almost drove 3 plus hours to New Jersey on a whim because none of us had ever been to a Sonic. Not only does their food look great, but I'd even give them my business because of their outstanding advertising.



Let me just clear one thing up. There is no denying that they have great commercials and in that sense their advertising is outstanding, but the fact that these commercials run in areas that are nowhere near their restaurants detracts a little from their overall advertising scheme.

Don't forget to request your free Dr. Pepper.

Just what the doctor ordered

Tomorrow is Halloween and for the first time in my life I will be dipping back into the well of former costume choices. Two years ago I was at a loss for ideas and my creativity was running on empty. It was the Saturday before Halloween and there was a few parties that we planned on going to so a roommate and I went to the Salvation Army to look for any sort of idea that we could muster. We came up with nothing significant there so we went to the mall, which of course was packed with every 6 year old in the county. We had some near impulse buys, but came away from the costume store empty handed. At this point it was about 2 hours into the search and my roommate suggested that we just go to Spencer's and get a bunch of stupid stuff. I of course asked, "But what will we do when someone asks what we are? His response was, "We'll just say, "I'm having a good time. Great party." So that's what we did. We both got hats, I had an enormous link chain and a skull staff. He had a scarf, a necklace of mini penises, and we were both wearing clothes we got at the Salvation Army. Some people kept asking, but we just never gave in. Some people thought that we had to be something and they just didn't know what it was and were too embarrassed to ask. And some people absolutely loved it.

When Halloween night actually rolled around, I was in the shower preparing for another night of "I'm having a great time. This party's awesome" when a not so clever idea came to me. I decided to be Dr. Pepper. Dress as a doctor and wear my Dr. Pepper shirt. A terrible play on words, but that's what I went with. A lab coat, blue pastel pants, and a doctor's mask later and I was Dr. P.

Last year I was a makeshift Axl Rose and sure enough someone dressed as Slash was at the bar and a mini photo op ensued.



This year I'm going back to the Dr. Pepper because of my affection for the product, but this time I went out and got the doctor costume (green scrubs) and will just wear my Dr. Pepper shirt underneath (and will probably expose it somehow).

Now with all this Dr. Pepper and Guns N' Roses talk I feel that it is appropriate to mention that everyone in America can receive a free 20 oz. drink on November 23rd (23 flavors) because Guns 'N Roses will be releasing their new album "Chinese Democracy" before the end of the calendar year. Officials at Dr. Pepper challenged the band back in May with this promotion because of the long standing anticipation for the album's release.

http://www.courant.com/features/food/hc-webgunssoda.artoct31,0,7962445.story

It's good to see two things I love teaming up, but before we go any further, Chinese Democracy? Those Commie bastards have been trying to scam us for years with this People's Republic of China malarkey.

China's flag



The flag of the Soviet Union



I love how Guns 'N Roses are making a statement to the Chinese. And that message looks a little something like this.

Dr. P

I literally drink Dr. Pepper like it's water and could not be happier about this commercial. I mean talk about an easy advertising pitch. How many years in a row do you think the people at Dr. Pepper were contacting Dr. J about this ad? As if the concept wasn't enough, they go and throw the Chicago Bulls entrance music into the background. Absolutely priceless. To top it off, as soon as he makes the shot of ice (pretty dramatic rim job by the way) I immediately say the words "still got it" every time, as if it's a part of the commercial. My buddy John and I would always say that line in college whenever we did anything remotely athletic or impressive because it would indicate that, although our athletic careers were over, we at one time had some sort of skill.