Leading Role: Kate Winslet

I don't think there's really much debate. The six-time Academy Award nominee (one win- The Reader (2008)) is currently the best actress in Hollywood. If there was an acting Hall of Fame (and there should be) Winslet would be in on the first ballot. Her body of work, especially her versatility in terms of the characters that she plays, is simply incredible. There is no typecasting her. In that respect, (keeping the sports analogy going) she is like a five tool baseball player.

While there is no doubting the acting ability of Hollywood's number one leading lady, I must say that I do question her looks. I almost included her in my recent Hot or Not post, but I think the overwhelming majority would have leaned towards not. Now that isn't to say that she isn't an attractive woman. She certainly has her moments and is more of the elegant beauty type, but hot would not be a word to describe her. She's just a little thick (maybe too negative of a connotation, but I think you get my point) and apparently she has huge feet (size 11). That all being said, she certainly isn't shy about baring it all. In fact, she appears naked in Titanic, Little Children (if memory serves), and The Reader and had this to say about doing nude scenes back in 2002, "I like exposing myself. There's not an awful lot that embarrasses me. I'm the kind of actress that absolutely believes in exposing myself."

Perhaps my favorite part about Winslet is her friendship with Leonardo DiCaprio. I can't even think of a comparison for this friendship. Winslet, like I said, is hands down the best actress going right now and Leo is arguably the best actor. In fact, I was recently asked my top five actors and I responded with Denzel, DiCaprio, Penn, Phillip Seymour-Hoffman, and Matt Damon (Clooney is probably six and Tom Hanks and Daniel Dey Lewis are both still awesome, but they are past their prime). Anyway, as I'm sure you well know, Winslet and DiCaprio burst onto the scene together in James Cameron's Titanic back in 1997. Apparently the two have remained close ever since. They are so close, in fact, that Winslet's two children refer to DiCaprio as Uncle Leo (HELLO).

Okay, so now it's time to decide which of Winslet's roles is her finest. By now you should know the drill, but if you don't here it is. Let's assume that Winslet decides to pull a Joaquin Phoenix and walk away from acting. If that were to happen, which of her roles would be considered her best? Which role would be the one where she put it all together? Which role would she most be remembered for (I fear that this one is already decided no matter what she does for the rest of her career)?

The nominees are.....

1.) Rose in Titanic (1997)



In this incredibly long and anticlimactic film, Winslet plays a young socialite aboard the ill-fated ship who meets and falls in love with a lower class boy (DiCaprio) over the course of a few chance encounters.

Most Memorable Lines:

Jack: This is crazy.
Rose: I know. It doesn't make any sense. That's why I trust it.

Molly Brown: Hey, uh, who thought of the name Titanic? Was it you, Bruce?
Ismay: Yes, actually. I wanted to convey sheer size, and size means stability, luxury, and above all, strength.
Rose: Do you know of Dr. Freud, Mr. Ismay? His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you.

Rose: I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste. I can't imagine Monsieur Monet blushing.
Jack: He does landscapes.

Ruth: You're not to see that boy again. Do you understand me? Rose, I forbid it.
Rose: Oh stop it, mother. You'll give yourself a nose bleed.

Synopsis: This role notched Winslet her second Academy Award nomination (the youngest to do so) and really put her on the map. It's probably the role that she is most known for because until yesterday Titanic was the highest grossing film of all time, but I don't think it's her best performance.

Fun fact- I had not seen Titanic in its entirety until June of 2008.


2.) Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)



In this film Winslet plays a carefree, commitment shy girl who dyes her hair and undergoes a procedure to erase her ex-boyfriend (played by Jim Carrey) from her memory after their relationship goes south.

Most Memorable Lines:

Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.

Clementine: Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter.

Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.

Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.

Synopsis: Of all of her roles Winslet has said that this one is her favorite. It earned her an Oscar nomination and showcased her versatility as an actress. Clementine is a fucked up girl whose need to be independent pushes her away from those that get close to her and Winslet nailed it. Not only is Eternal Sunshine wildly underrated as a movie, but so too is Winslet's portrayal of Clementine in it.


3.) Sylvia in Finding Neverland (2004)



In this film Winslet plays the widowed mother of three boys who begin spending a significant amount of time with J.M. Barrie (played by Johnny Depp) even though society condemns him for it (because he's married). Her character (Sylvia) develops a fatal disease, but she enjoys Barrie's relationship with her and her boys until she passes away.

Most Memorable Lines:

J.M. Barrie: They can see it, you know. You can't go on just pretending.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: Just pretending? You brought pretending into this family, James. You showed us we can change things by simply believing them to be different.
J.M. Barrie: A lot of things, Sylvia. Not everything.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: But the things that matter. We've pretended for some time now that you're a part of this family, haven't we? You've come to mean so much to us all that now, it doesn't matter if it's true. And even if it isn't true, even if that can never be... I need to go on pretending... until the end... with you.

J.M. Barrie: I think it was the first time she ever actually looked at me, and that was the end of the boy James. I used to say to myself he'd gone to Neverland.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: Where?
J.M. Barrie: Neverland. It's a wonderful place... I've not spoken about this before to anyone- ever.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: What's it like, Neverland?
J.M. Barrie: One day I'll take you there.

Synopsis: I think it's safe to say that this isn't her best role, but it might be the best movie that she's been in (and she's been in some very good movies). The movie is driven by J.M. Barrie's relationship with the kids. Syliva just so happens to be their mother.


4.) Hanna Schmitz in The Reader (2008)



In this post WWII film (of course Ralph Fiennes is in it) Winslet plays a German woman who has an affair with a young boy (highschool age). Years later, she is on trial for her involvement as a guard in a Nazi concentration camp and the now older boy can't make sense of it.

Most Memorable Line:

Hanna Schmitz: It doesn't matter what I feel. It doesn't matter what I think. The dead are still dead.

Synopsis: It's hard to believe that this is the role that finally won her the Academy Award for Best Actress, but I think it's safe to say that the award was long overdue. Winslet definitely delivers in a naive, confused, yet oddly desirous and quietly thankful sort of way (if you've seen the movie that should make sense), but I thought she was much better in the next film.


5.) April Wheeler in Revolutionary Road (2008)



In this film Winslet plays a housewife living in Connecticut in the 1950's who suddenly isn't satisfied with the suburban life that she thought she wanted.

Most Memorable Lines:

April Wheeler: So now I'm crazy because I don't love you, right? Is that the point?
Frank Wheeler: No! Wrong! You're not crazy, and you do love me. That's the point, April.
April Wheeler: But I don't. I hate you. You were just some boy who made me laugh at a party once, and now I loathe the sight of you. In fact, if you come any closer, if you touch me or anything, I think I'll scream.

April Wheeler: Look at us. We're just like everyone else. We've bought into the same, ridiculous delusion. This idea that you have to settle down and resign from life.

April Wheeler: Tell me the truth, Frank, remember that? We used to live by it. And you know what's so good about the truth? Everyone knows what it is however long they've lived without it. No one forgets the truth, Frank, they just get better at lying.

Synopsis: I am still flabergasted as to how this movie, and Winslet's subsequent role in it, got punked by the Academy. Winslet won the Golden Globe for Best Actress for this role, yet she wasn't nominated in the same category at the Oscars? Winslet is off the charts good in this film. She captures the volatility of a housewife yearning for more in an explosive way. As April Wheeler she is both equally rational and irrational and content and discontent. I've said before that when I first saw this movie I felt as if Winslet and DiCaprio were going back and forth trying to out act (steal the show) from each other. That being said, I think Winslet, hands down, came out on top. To me this is her opus magnum. The only problem is that she didn't get enough recognition from the big boy critics for the masses to take notice.



My apologies to Winslet's other great roles in Sense and Sensibility (1995), Iris (2002) and The Life of David Gale (2003) because I have not yet seen them, although let the record show that The Life of David Gale is in my Netflix queue.

Best of the Decade: Movies

As 2009 winds down so too does the decade. These past 10 years have been a trying time in the land of the free. In fact, because of 9/11, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the financial meltdown Time Magazine has called the 00's the "worst decade ever" (Surely, the 1930's were worse, right?) It's a bit weird to think that, for all intents and purposes, I grew up in this decade. My entire high school career, my entire college career, and the beginning of my actual career all took place in this ten year stretch. In 50 years people might look back on the 00's as a decade of turmoil, but I'll look back on them as some of the best years of my life.

I mean, let's be honest, the 00's were filled with some great moments. During this final month of the decade, I will compile various "Best of the decade" lists for your viewing pleasure. Each list has been compiled under the same set of criteria.

- Did I enjoy it? Did the movie/song/moment/etc. resonate with me personally?
- Did the people who's opinions really matter like it?
- How much does it typify the decade? In 20-30 years will people think of it when they think of the 00's?

First up, the best movies of the decade.


10.) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)


Although I'm a sucker for closure the first film of this trilogy, based on the volumes written by J.R.R Tolkien, was clearly the best. I was interested in the trilogy from the get go because my dad read the prequel, "The Hobbit" (a chapter a night before we went to bed), to my brother and I when we were little (Do parents still do that?).

That being said, the film presents the entire premise in a way that is easy to understand even for those not familiar with Tolkien's "middle earth". Peter Jackson's direction of this film was not only incredible from an effects/scenery standpoint, but also for it's accuracy in regards to the original work.

One thing I liked about the movie was that Tolkien's fantasy tale is not overshadowed by any particular actor or actress. The story of the ring is what's most memorable and that's not to say that the cast was mediocre because that couldn't be further from the truth. Viggo Mortenson was incredibly badass as Aragorn, Sir Ian McKellan was terrific as Gandalf, Orlando Bloom was on the mark (no pun intended) as Legalos, and how could I not love Sean Astin (Rudy) as Sam? Hell, Liv Tyler was even pretty good as Arwen. I also must give some props to the character Gimli, the dwarf with the battle axe, because my oldest brother and his girlfriend named their new dog after him.

Most people point to the The Return of the King as the best of the three films and it won 11 Oscars including Best Picture, but not me. That movie was good, but it was literally a full hour too long. Five different times in theater I thought the movie was over before it actually ended.


9.) Walk the Line (2005)

Vivian Cash: You can't wear black. It looks like you're going to a funeral.
Johnny Cash: Maybe I am...

Other biopics in the decade were more hyped (Ray, The Aviator), but none were as succuessful as Walk the Line. Maybe Johnny Cash's life was just more suitable for such a film, but that doesn't change the fact that Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal of the American icon was electric. Now as good as he was and he was very good, Reese Witherspoon's performance as June Carter was even more remarkable. So remarkable that I would not hesistate to say that it was head and shoulders above any other female performance of the decade.

I liked Walk the Line because it was filled with real, raw human emotion. We saw the extreme highs and extreme lows of a rock star. Cash loved being on the road, but it led him to rampant drug abuse and away from his family.

Something should also be said about the scene where Cash and his band perform in front of the record producer. It was truly an inspirational moment. After they play a few songs, the producer stops them and says, "If you was hit by a truck and you was lying out there in that gutter dying, and you had time to sing *one* song. One song that people would remember before you're dirt. One song that would let God know how you felt about your time here on Earth. One song that would sum you up. You tellin' me that's the song you'd sing? That same Jimmy Davis tune we hear on the radio all day, about your peace within, and how it's real, and how you're gonna shout it? Or... would you sing somethin' different. Somethin' real. Somethin' *you* felt. Cause I'm telling you right now, that's the kind of song people want to hear. That's the kind of song that truly saves people. It ain't got nothin to do with believin' in God, Mr. Cash. It has to do with believin' in yourself."


8.) Blood Diamond (2006)


My buddy Glancy took a film class in college because he, like myself, is a big movie buff. On the first day of class the professor went around the room and asked everyone what they thought the best film of all time was. All of the film geeks that took the class because they had unrealistic goals of becoming the next Spielberg said movies like Rear Window (1954), Citizen Kane (1941), and 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). Glancy said Top Gun (1986). As soon as he said it all of the film majors laughed in that snarky "we're smarter than you" way, but Glancy went on to defend his choice by saying, "It has everything you could want in a film. There's action, adventure, drama, and romance. It's got it all."

That's how I feel about Blood Diamond. Leonardo DiCaprio (whether you liked his accent or not) was extraordinary, as usual. My buddy Matty K's favorite actor Djimon Hounsou pulled off his dramatic scenes well enough to make the audience sympathize with him as a father/husband desperate to get his family back and he was obviously perfect in all of the action scenes because of his physicality. Jennifer Connolly, as I believe I have said in the past, was sneaky hot in this film. At first she's a good looking 35-year old, but you aren't blown away. Then as the plot develops, so to does her character. Then towards the end of the film she suddenly seems incredibly hot.


7.) The Dark Knight (2008)


When I initially compiled these rankings The Dark Knight came in around 12 or 13. There was no questioning the film's captivating nature, but it wasn't nominated for Best Picture, it's about 20-25 minutes too long, and Maggie Gyllenhaal lacks any sort of sex appeal (she's a bad projection for what Amanda Bynes will look like in 10 years). How could I seriously suggest that a summer blockbuster, and one based on a comic book no less, was one of the 10 best movies of the decade? Then, as I thought more about it I realized that there were plenty more arguments to be made as to why it should make the top 10 as opposed to why it shouldn't.

1.) My buddy Frank would probably murder me if I didn't include it. In fact, he'll probably complain that I didn't have it in my top 5.
2.) In a decade that was rife with superhero films this one was better than all of the others by leaps and bounds.
3.) Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker might be the defining role of the decade and would have been even if he didn't tragically die because he snorted more coke than the Olsen twins. By the way, talk about high risk/high reward. Ledger's drug use simultaneously led to one of the most memorable acting performances of our day and to his untimely demise.
4.) Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman, who've both won Oscars for Best Supporting Actor, gave stellar performances without stealing the show.
5.) The special effects were amazing.
6.) The film contained undertones about the goodness of human nature. For example, the boat scene. Would that have happened in real life? I'm not so sure, but it evoked positive message nonetheless.


6.) Crash (2005)


In today's world it seems as if the only purpose of film, literature, television, etc. is to entertain, but this film reminded us that these creative outlets can do much more. At it's core Crash was a social commentary about our modern culture. It tapped into the everyday disconnect that is felt throughout our diverse society. The film's message was that we are all in this life together and that we all go through the same struggles, but for whatever reason we all put up fences in order to shield ourselves from others.

Orchestrating a film with multiple storylines that work in and out and blend together in order to demonstrate a singular message is a very delicate task. Films of this nature usually fail (see Bobby, Vantage Point), but when they are done successfully they can be very powerful. Another film that successfully employed this narrative style is Love Actually (2003), which I'm not ashamed to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed.


5.) The Departed (2006)


The film featured two of the best actors of our generation (Damon and DiCaprio) as cops that worked on both sides of the law with a big shot criminal played by one of the best actors of all time (Jack Nicholson). One cop (Damon) was dirty and helped the crime boss avoid the swift arm of the law. The other cop (DiCaprio) went undercover and tried to bring down the crime boss from the inside by infiltrating his crew. When you break it all down, that's the gist of the plot and even at it's simplest level the duality is pretty awesome.

The rest of the cast was brilliant as well. Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin both deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar nominations (Wahlberg got one, Baldwin didn't). Martin Sheen was great and Vera Farmiga was sneaky hot.

The best scene from the entire movie (from an acting perspective) was definitely when DiCaprio shows up at Farmiga's apartment. The sexual tension combined with the anxiety, nervousness, longing, and vulnerability that they both show in the scene is perfectly complimented by Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb". The scene is just amazing. DiCaprio is at one of his lowest moments and desperately wants to feel something that is real. Farmiga, who's sneaky hotness is at an all time high in this scene, is questioning her decision to move in with Damon and in this moment senses more of a connection with a man that she knows only as her patient with a criminal record.

Another great part about this movie is that it has rewatchability. If it's on TV, I'm watching it (Only 4-5 other movies have this power over me). Also, I think I've said this before, but the first time I watched the movie for some reason I was pulling for Matt Damon. I didn't want him to get caught. Everytime I've seen it since I've been all about DiCaprio's character. Seriously, outside of Denzel, who is even on his level as an actor?


4.) Finding Neverland (2004)


Simply a touching film. I had a few reservations about seeing it at first because on the surface it seems a little feminine and it's only rated PG, but it's now one of the first films that I recommend to others. The film really puts the power of belief and imagination on display. Seriously, watch it and then try to tell me you didn't absolutely love everything about it.

In case you didn't watch the trailer (I could watch these ten trailers all day), this film is about the author J.M Barrie's inspiration for his materpiece; Peter Pan. It features a very good Johnny Depp and the best actress of our generation, Kate Winslet.


3.) Gone Baby Gone (2007)

He lied to me. I can't think of one reason big enough for him to lie that's small enough not to matter.

During my senior year of college I had strong feelings for a young dame. Let's call her Tristen. As I've previously mentioned Tristen reciprocated those feelings, but also had strong feelings for someone else. Let's call him Lyle. A few months into the year Tristen (perhaps wisely) chose to be with Lyle. Let the record show that they have now been engaged for more than a year. My feelings for Tristen did not subside overnight, but I knew that I had to move on. In the weeks that followed I began hooking up with another girl. Let's call her Melissa.

I wish I was kidding when I say that at that point Melissa had only seen about 10 movies in her entire life. Knowing this, I decided to expand her horizons a bit, so for our first official date I took her to see Gone Baby Gone. As we walked into the theater on that fateful Wednesday night we noticed that only two other people were there; Tristen and Lyle. Now I've had some pretty awkward moments in my life, but none were even in the same ball park as that one. I was literally stunned. They were in the middle of the second to last row so we were relegated to sitting about 4-5 rows in front of them, but a little to the left (facing the screen). I think Tristen and I exchanged a quick wave, but I was so overcome with emotions that I honestly don't even remember. I'm not sure if Melissa or Lyle even knew the entire story, but Tristen and I later discussed how we've both never felt an awkward moment quite like that in our entire lives.

That all being said, I loved the movie. I had never seen a film in which Casey Affleck was the leading character and I must say that I was thoroughly impressed. Ed Harris and Amy Ryan were also outstanding. The movie had me hooked from the opening voice over.

"I always believed it was the things you don't choose that makes you who you are. Your city, your neighborhood, your family. People here take pride in these things, like it was something they'd accomplished. The bodies around their souls, the cities wrapped around those. I lived on this block my whole life; most of these people have. When your job is to find people who are missing, it helps to know where they started. I find the people who started in the cracks and then fell through. This city can be hard. When I was young, I asked my priest how you could get to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world. He told me what God said to His children. "You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves."

Although you got the feeling that the movie might end about half way through it, the actual ending was the definition of thought provoking. The decision that Casey Affleck's character faces is one that I have had hour long arguments with my friends and family members about. If I've said it once I'll say it 1000 times, you could teach an entire ethics course based solely on this film. The ending is so controversial that I bet plenty of couples have broken up because of this movie. There are arguments to be made for both sides, but there is no gray area.


2.) Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

LATIKA!

Slumdog is a heartwarming, uplifting tale. Director Danny Boyle's recreation of Vikas Swarup's novel "Q & A" is magnificent. In case you haven't seen it, the movie is about a poor boy from the slums who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and knows the answers to all of the 15 questions because of his incredible life experiences. The plot construction is both simple and genius. The main character, Jamal, is presented with a question on the game show and then the audience is shown a poignant story from his childhood where he has learned the answer to the question. Now it's not that cut and dry, but that's the premise. There is also a love story that develops from the childhood stories and comes to fruition because of the game show experience. If you haven't seen the film, drop what you're doing right now and go see it. It's that good.

A few weeks ago I was working on a four hour radio show (Football Tonight) and inbetween segments the host and I were talking about movies. What we liked. What we didn't. What our producer needed to see. Now the host has had two children in the past 20 months and hasn't seen many movies in that time, so he asked me what movies he needed to see. Without hesitation the first movie out of my mouth was Slumdog. At the end of the show he referred to me on air, as "the movie guy." I really believe that Slumdog will be one of the movies that people still talk about in 30 years.


1.) Mystic River (2003)


Mystic River is a raw, gripping, emotional crime thriller. The film is equally dark and powerful. A man's daughter is murdered and he and his friends perform their own investigation, often interviewing witnessess before the police do. As the clues are pieced together the audience is forced to wonder what will come first, justice by way of the law or vengeance by the girl's father? Let's jut say that in an intriguing plot twist author Dennis Lehane, who also wrote Gone Baby Gone, gives us both.

The cast of the best movie of the decade is, of course, extraordinary. Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, and Tim "Andy Dufresne" Robbins play childhood friends that have taken different paths in life, but are all brought back together by this murder. Penn, in an Oscar winning role plays the murdered girl's father, Bacon plays the detective investigating the murder, and Robbins in an Oscar winning role plays an aloof man who becomes a prime suspect in the murder investigation. I also must give some love to The Sandlot's Scott Smalls, who plays the boyfriend of the murdered girl.

The end of the film provides one of the best lines of the decade. Of course, if you haven't seen the movie this will mean nothing to you.

Sean: So Jimmy, when was the last time you saw Dave?
Jimmy: The last time I saw Dave...
Sean: Yeah, Dave Boyle.
Jimmy: Dave Boyle...
Sean: Yeah Jimmy, Dave Boyle.
Jimmy: That was twenty-five years ago, going up this street, in the back of that car.


The best of the rest:

’00- Gladiator, Traffic, Castaway, Almost Famous
’01- A Beautiful Mind
’02- Gangs of New York, Catch Me If You Can
’03- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
’04- Million Dollar Baby, Man on Fire, Collateral, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
’05- V for Vendetta
’06- Inside Man, The Prestige
’07- Michael Clayton, Juno
’08- Iron Man

Leading Role: Jim Carrey

Although a few of his more serious roles (The Truman Show (1998) and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)) have received much more critical acclaim, Jim Carrey is best known as a comedic actor, so we'll stick to that genre. Carrey first came onto the scene in the early 90's as the token white guy on the hit show In Living Color. His innate comedic talent soon landed him on the big screen where he became arguably the funniest man in show business for about a 5 year stretch (1994-99). Now on to the nominees, but remember if Carrey faded off into the limelight with Jenny McCarthy and was never heard from again, which of the following roles would you consider to be his best ever?

1.)Ace Ventura in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)




In this film Carrey plays a zany animal detective hired to find the Miami Dolphins' mascot Snowflake before the Superbowl.

Most Memorable lines:

Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes....just wait longer.

Ace Ventura: All righty then.

Ace Ventura: I saw the guy's room. Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lector.

Melissa: Ace, where are you?
Ace Ventura: I'm in Psychoville and Finkel's the mayor!

Ace Ventura: Do NOT go in there. Phew!

Ace Ventura: Loo-hoo-zuh-her



Synopsis: This was really his breakthrough role and certainly one of those movies that you can watch time and time again and continue to find more lines that make you laugh. I wouldn't say it's my favorite Jim Carrey role because the humor is a little offbeat, especially if you consider the sequel Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995).


2.) Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber (1994)




Carrey plays a limo driver who notices a client making a "suitcase drop" in the airport and drives across the country with his roommate to give it back to her.

Most Memorable Lines:

Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling, Lloyd.

Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.

Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.

Lloyd: Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy.

Lloyd: Excuse me, Flo?
Lloyd: Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
Waitress: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.

Lloyd: We got no food, no jobs... our PET'S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
Lloyd: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.

Lloyd: Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?
Mary: How'd you guess?
Lloyd: I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put 2 and 2 together.
Lloyd: So where are you headin'?
Mary: Aspen.
Lloyd: Hmmm, California! Beautiful!

Harry: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.

Lloyd: You said it, pal. Maybe we're not as good of friends as we thought. I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart, then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn. Maybe we should call it quits right now.
Harry: You just tell me where to sign, bud.
Lloyd: Right on my ass after you kiss it!

Lloyd: I said, "Do you love me?" and she said, "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."



Synopsis: Outside of The Sandlot (1993), I've seen this movie more times than any other. I'm talking upwards of 15 times in its entirety. When I was in 8th grade I could recite just about every line. It's clearly one of my favorite movies ever, but with that said, is Lloyd Christmas Jim Carrey's best role? I would probably lean towards yes, but I think it could be argued that Jeff Daniels had just as many, if not more, funny lines than did Carrey.


3.) Fletcher Reede in Liar, Liar (1997)




In this film Carrey plays a divorced lawyer who, although he promised to be there, fails to show up to his son's birthday party. His son then wishes that his dad will be unable to tell a lie for an entire day...and it comes true.

Most Memorable lines:

Fletcher: I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind?

Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
Fletcher: Depends on how long you were following me!
Cop: Why don't we just take it from the top?
Fletcher: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING!

Pete: What's Up, Fletcher?
Fletcher: Your cholesterol, Fatty! Dead man walkin'!

Fletcher: Thank you. Now let's see... weight 105? Yeah, in your bra.

Fletcher: Jordan fades back, swoosh, and THAT'S THE GAME! Nothing further, your honor!

Miranda: Well, what do you think of him?
Fletcher: He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless steaming pile of cow dung, figuratively speaking.
Mr. Allen: That's the funniest damn thing I've ever heard. You're a real card, Reede. I love a good roast! Do Simmons!
Fletcher: Simmons is old! He should've been out of the game years ago but he can't stay home because he hates his wife! You've met her at the Christmas parties. She's the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard! And you, Tom, you're the biggest brownnose I've ever seen! You've got your head so far up Mr. Allen's ass, I can't tell where you end and he begins!

Max: My teacher tells me real beauty's on the insider
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.

Woman on Elevator: Everybody's been real nice.
Fletcher: Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em. Mama!

Synopsis: A bit of a cheesy plot, but a perfect role for Carrey. The supporting cast is weak, but it's still a funny movie because of Carrey. Probably not his best role of all time, but certainly a dark horse contender. I mean, who can forget about The Claw?


4.)Charlie/Hank in Me, Myself, and Irene (2000)




In this movie Carrey plays an overly nice cop that suffers from advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.

Most Memorable lines:

Hank Evans: Vagiclean," huh? What's the matter, honey? Little extra cheese on the taco?
Mrs. Bittman: Excuse me?
Hank Evans: No, excuse me. There's no tag on this.
[grabs microphone]
Hank Evans: Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough.

Hank Evans: Holy Jesus in heaven! it's a giant Q-tip.
Irene P. Waters: Hank!
Hank Evans: What? I'm jokin' with the guy. Bringin' a little sunshine into his life. Careful, you'll peel.

Hank Evans (to a kid): What are you staring at, fucker? You want to start me up? Just open the choke and pull the cord, pal. I'm due for a seismic event, and you're dancing on the fault line.
Kid's Father: Hey, what is your problem, pal ?
Hank Evans: I got no beef with you. This is between me and the kid.



Synopsis- A very underrated movie. You laugh a couple times the first time you see it, but you don't rave about. After you see it a few more times and with the right people you begin to realize how hysterical it is. Hank might be one of the funniest characters of the past decade. I doubt anyone immediately thinks of this movie when they think of Jim Carrey, but it certainly adds to his entire body of work.


5.) Bruce Nolan in Bruce Almighty (2003)



In this film Carrey plays a new anchor desperate for a promotion who feels like he never catches any breaks. God intervenes and grants him his powers to basically teach him the lesson Peter Parker's Uncle taught- with great power comes great responsibility.

Most Memorable lines:

Bruce: B-E-A-utiful

Bruce: Bruce Nolan here, aboard the Maid of the Mist in fabulous Niagara Falls, New York. First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber - pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with real talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me. Anyway, I'm here with Katherine Hepburn's mom. Tell me, why did you toss the "blue heart of the ocean" jewel over the railing of Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown, while you were safe floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ass off?
Bruce: Hmm. I guess that's how life is, isn't it? Some people are drenched, freezing to death, on a stupid boat, with a stupid hat, while others are in a comfy news studio, suckin' up all the glory. Oh, well. No big deal.
Bruce: Oh, look! It's the owner of the Maid of the Mist. Let's have a talk with him, shall we? Come on in here, Bill...
Bill, Ferry Owner: That's all right.
Bruce: No, no, no, no. No, no. Come on, let's have a talk. Bill, you've been running the Maid of the Mist for 23 years now. Tell me, why do you think I didn't get the anchor job?
Bill, Ferry Owner: Hey, man, I don't want any problems...
Bruce: [messes his hair] Is it my hair, Bill? Are my teeth not white enough? Or, like the great falls, is the bedrock of my life, eroding beneath me?
Bruce: Eroding, eeeeroding, eeeeerodding.
Jack: Cut the feed. Cut to black.
Control Booth Operator: I'm on it.
Bruce: I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness News. Back to you, fuckers!

Bruce: And that's the way the cookie crumbles.



Synopsis: Dare I say this was Jim Carrey's last great comedy? Now I haven't seen Yes Man (2008), but since this film came out he's been in Eternal Sunshine, which is a phenomenal movie just not at all funny, Fun With Dick and Jane (2005) which was a major let down, and The Number 23 (2007) which I've heard was serious, unrealistic, and just flat out bad. Either way, Bruce Nolan is a good character, but not quite as good as Carrey's characters of the past. Bruce, in a way, is like Ken Griffey Jr's 2005 season with the Cincinnati Reds. He hit 35 HR's and drove in 92 runs. A great season, but not nearly as great as his '96-'99 numbers during which he averaged 52 HR's and 140 RBI's.