Fear the Deer

As promised, here is my poem about my four years at Fairfield University.


I am from right field at the Stagdome
A teamless John Stockton jersey and myTunes Redux
I am from $4 pitchers at Clubhouse and Max’s jungle juice
Al’s Place makeouts and saki bombs in Trumbull
I am from Thirsty Thursdays with Robby and Dan
Beer pong in basements and the hookah on the deck

I am from Sunday brunch at Barone
Vodka 180’s and the Country Cow
“Closing Time” at the Arena and the long walk to Kostka
I am from J2 and Room B
The Pink Box and the 313

I am from the Canisius computer lab
Turf in the basement and the chuggler
One of The Sledge Hemmers and The Shampoo Effect
From “Ballin. Count it. College.”
To “I just want to let you know that I’m cool with it.”

I am from the pages of the freshman facebook
Stuffed backpacks and chalked IDs
I am from Doc O’s enthusiasm
Fran’s guidance and Canuel’s tests
Gudelunas’ papers and all the rest

I am the He Said, The Man in The Mirror
From exit 22 and the Metro North
One of Sal C’s All-Stars and We Make It Rain
From “’CUSE!” and “Great time, good party”
To “I have two test tomorrow!” and “Opportunity, opportunity, opportunity.”

I am from Saturdays at the point
$2 Tuesdays and The Sports Edge
Softball at Barlow and the reverse limbo
I am from late night bonfires and Lockhart’s pictures
From lifelong friendships and lasting memories
I am from the Class of 2008
For all of time


Things I wanted to include, but couldn’t make fit:

The foosball table, The 80’s party, Kess’ mono, Kessler Whiskey, Guitar Hero, South Padre, the numbers game (siete), watching 24 DVDs, the outdoor courts, Murph’s cargo shorts, sledding in recycling bins, the futon, bullpen sessions, and many, many others.

Top 5 SportsCenter Commercials

First of all, I apologize for the week hiatus, but as many of you know, I have been going through a little bit of a transition in my young career. In order to appease my readers (the five of you that still check this site everyday) I looked at what my buddy Frank in Syracuse has recently written to try to get some sort of material on here. Frank's work has been featured on this blog before; however after reading one of his recent posts, I felt like I could improve upon it. So here are my "Top 5 'This is SportsCenter' commercials."

1.) Rookie Camp


You gotta raise it up

I think what makes this commercial great, aside from Kenny Mayne, is that they picked two of the most arrogant athletes of our generation. For those of you that have forgotten, Keyshawn was the trendsetter to what Stephon Marbury is doing now and if getting paid to stay away from a team and not play doesn't speak enough for his arrogance, I think this might. Kobe's arrogance is a part of his brilliance. Most people associate his arrogance with driving Shaq out of LA and choosing a number that is one digit higher than Michael Jordan's (Kobe wore 24 in highschool. Don't read too much into things). The epitome of his arrogance; however is his relationship, if you could even call it that, with Raja Bell, formerly of the Phoenix Suns. Bell is well known for his defensive prowess and has had some memorable showdowns with Kobe. This video sums it up. Bell, as you should have heard in the video if you click on these links, once called out Kobe's arrogance to which Kobe responded by saying.

"Does he know me? Do I know this guy? I don't know this guy. I might have said one word to this guy. I don't know this kid ... I don't need to know this kid. I don't want to… Maybe he wasn't hugged enough as a kid."

Of course, this commerical now has personal resonance for me because I just completed my own stay in "Rookie Camp."

2.) New Kid



This commerical almost served as a social commentary about highly touted prep basketball players going straight from highschool to the NBA. Every kid in America had dreams of being a SportsCenter anchor and "The Kid" was a pretty accurate representation of what would happen if someone that young was given such an opportunity. I mean, let's be honest, Jimmy Key was riding out his career worse than Julio Franco.

3.) American Cheese


Yeah that's right

For those of you that read Frank's post, and I'll assume that's none of you, he got this one right. Not only do I always request American cheese, but I even ask to get my French Toast Americanized because we don't throw in the white towel like those scrumpet eating Frogs. As embarassing as it is to be a Frenchie, imagine being from a place that used to be a French colony. Canada's only saving grace is the wonderful franchise that is the Toronto Bluejays. Our neighbors to the north do nothing of global relevance and that's not the only thing we blame them for.

4.) Parking Spot



Anyone that's listened to Scott Van Pelt knows that parking at ESPN is very difficult. This commercial is perhaps the most creative of the 'This is Sportscenter' brand. Although Danica has a legititmate gripe in the commercial because of her name, she, as a woman, shouldn't be driving in the first place. Which reminds me of this classic test question.



5.) Captain America



This commericial blends two of the things that I hold near and dear to my heart; Syracuse University's 2003 NCAA Men's National Championship and America. I loved the fact that Carmelo was a captain on Team USA. Along the same lines, The Sports Edge guys once debated which superheroes they would have in their starting five of a basketball team. The only unanimous decision was that Captain America would be the player/coach.

My superhero starting five was
PG- The Flash
SG- Captain America
SF- Superman
PF- The Hulk
C- Mr. Fantastic (of the Fantastic Four that can stretch his body into incredible lengths)

A Sports Edge Moment

(Turn it up)

"I'm man enough to admit it"