As you know, or should know, I turned 25 last week. It's a pretty daunting number and I wasn't exactly thrilled about it by any means. My point being that now there's no real age to look forward to. 25 is still sort of young (at least that's what I'm telling myself), but 26 and above aren't...at all.
That all said, because it was recently my birthday I now have fresh perspective to rail against the Facebook birthday wall post. This is a topic I've touched on before. In fact, it made my inaugural Hate List. But I think it's now time to get a little more in depth.
As I wrote in my Hate List, I can't stand the "Happy bday {insert name here}" Facebook wall post. If you know someone well enough to write on their wall on their birthday then you should put a little thought into it and think of an inside joke of some sort. A buddy of mine from highschool actually wrote, "Happy birthday. Sorry, but I don't remember any of our inside jokes," on my wall last week. I thought it was hysterical. Mostly because he's done a few drugs in his day and I haven't seen him in years, so I wasn't the least bit surprised that he had forgotten any of our inside jokes. Quite frankly, I appreciated his honesty.
If you can't think of anything clever to say and haven't seen or talked to whoever's birthday it is in a while it's totally legit to just let them know that. One of my go to's is, "Happy birthday {insert name here}! It's been forever since we've seen each other, but I hope all is well. Have a good one." Ironically one of my friends can't stand the phrase, "I hope all is well," so I've been trying to avoid using it, but I still use it quite a bit.
Now, why should you put a little thought into a birthday wall post instead of just writing "Happy bday {insert name here}" and getting on with your day? Well, because it goes a long way. People are more likely to appreciate and/or remember your well wishes if you put a little thought into it. Also, don't you want people to put a little thought into crafting you a birthday message?
About a month or so ago my buddy Kyle Korver actually said something to the effect of, "I appreciate how you always write more than just a simple happy bday on people's walls," and it wasn't his birthday. He just noticed it.
Don't get me wrong, writing the standard "Happy bday {insert name here}" is still a nice gesture. Obviously it's better than nothing and/or a Facebook message, which is almost always a little creepy. Maybe I'm just a little more selective in who's walls I write on. I imagine some people write on everyone of their "friends" walls on their bdays and in that instance I guess I can understand a few simple "Happy bday {insert name here}" posts, but I think I'm a little more of a realist. I'm not actually friends with all of the people that I'm "friends" with on Facebook.
Another aspect of the Facebook birthday wall post is when you share your birthday with a number of "friends". What's the protocal there? I think a lot of people pretend like they aren't periodically checking their Facebook on their birthday until the inevitable "Thanks for all the bday wishes" post (more on this in a bit), so they don't like to be the first one to crack when it comes to writing on someone's wall that they share a birthday with. Also, what if you aren't actually friends with someone that you share a birthday with? Say they're a friend of a friend that you met once or twice and you just happen to have the same birthday. You still have to wish them a happy birthday, right? On a semi-related note, I also suspect that people are more prone to write a happy bday message on someone's wall in the days leading up to their birthday. Basically the thought process there is essentially, if I write on his/her wall they'll write on mine in a few days when it's my birthday.
Now let's get to the "Thank you for all the birthday wishes" post. Is it necessary? I had a conversation with my buddy Mad Max about it 4-5 months ago and I argued that it was the dumbest thing ever and largely unnecessary. Max couldn't have disagreed more. He said that if you don't thank people for wishing you a happy birthday that you come of as arrogant, self-entitled, and unappreciative. He broke down his point by saying, "Let's say you have a party and I show up and say, "Happy birthday Dan! So great to see you." What do you say? You say thank you, right?" Basically Max owned me in that argument, so for the first year ever I wrote a "Thank you for the birthday wishes" post, but, of course, I had to get clever with it. At about 10pm on the 25th anniversary of my birth I wrote, "Friends, family, and people I randomly met one night in college or otherwise- Thank you for making my 25th birthday both an enjoyable and memorable one." Not that clever, I know.
So if there's one takeaway from this rather innocuous post it's this. Give a little thought before writing on someone's Facebook wall on their birthday.
Well after only one day my NCAA bracket is completely ruined (and prominently featured on ESPNRadio.com), so I figured that I'd post another bracket to take my mind off of it. As I mentioned a few weeks back brackets of all kinds, shapes, and sizes are out there now that March Madness is upon us. One bracket that I was particularly intrigued by was Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive bracket. Their criteria is very simple. Who is sexier? Obviously this is very subjective, but I figured that I'd give it a shot. The four regions that they chose to organize the top 64 women were Fashion (i.e. models), Music & Sports (musicians, athletes, and sideline reporters), Movies (movie actresses), and Television (television actresses). Before we get to the brackets I have a few complaints.
1.) Where is Marisa Miller? I have little doubt that if she was involved she would have won my tournament.
2.) Where is Scarlett Johansson? Jessica Biel?
3.) Why is Gwyneth Paltrow included twice? Once in Music & Sports and once in Movies.
4.) Who thought it would be funny to include a male (Russell Brand) as a 16 seed?
Some of the seeding is all out of whack too, but I just dealt with what they gave me.
Here are the brackets.
Fashion
(1) Brooklyn Decker (16) Kate Middleton
(8) Bar Rafaeli (9) Ana Beatriz Barros
(5) Candice Swanepoel (12) Gisele Bundchen
(4)Irina Shayk (13) Kate Upton
(6) Izabel Goulart (11) Jessica White
(3) Selita Banks (14) Amber Rose
(7) Adriana Lima (10) Daisy Lowe
(2) Miranda Kerr (15) Joan Smalls
Music & Sports
(1) Katy Perry (16) Elin Nordegren
(8) Maria Sharapova (9) Caroline Wozniacki
(5) Taylor Swift (12) Cheryl Cole
(4) Erin Andrews (13) Jenn Brown
(6) Stacy Kiebler (11) Arianny Celeste
(3) Beyonce (14 Gwyneth Paltrow
(7) Nicki Minaj (10) Ines Sainz
(2) Rihanna (15) Gretchen Bleiler
Movies
(1) Mila Kunis (16) Russell Brand
(8) Jessica Alba (9) Kristen Bell
(5) Natalie Portman (12) Jennifer Lawrence
(4) Ashley Greene (13) Zoe Saldana
(6) Gwyneth Paltrow (11) Anne Hathaway
(3) Penelope Cruz (14) Amanda Seyfried
(7) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (10) Megan Fox
(2) Olivia Wilde (15) Amber Heard
Television
(1) Sofia Vergara (16) Hoda & Kathie Lee
(8) Those girls on Glee (9) Grace Park
(5) Jennifer Lopez (12) Sarah Shahi
(4) January Jones (13) Jessica Pare
(6) Emmy Rossum (11) Kendra Wilkinson
(3) Christina Hendricks (14) Lana from Archer
(7) Padma Lakshmi (10) Katrina Bowden
(2) Kim Kardashian (15) Bristol Palin
Alright now it's time for my picks.
Fashion (top left)
First Round
(1) Brooklyn Decker over (16) Kate Middleton- Middleton is a babe and she’s going to be the Queen, which is sexy in its own right, but it’s hard to argue with this.
(8) Bar Rafaeli over 9) Ana Beatriz Barros- Worst seeding ever?
(12) Gisele Bundchen over (5) Candice Swanepoel- Actually this might be worse.
(4)Irina Shayk over (13) Kate Upton- A tough first round matchup between the 2011 Sports Illustrated Cover Girl and the potential breakout star from the 2011 Swimsuit Issue, but I gotta go chalk.
(6) Izabel Goulart over (11) Jessica White (not white)- I didn’t know who either was before I put this together, but Goulart is an absolute smokeshow and Jessica White gives credence to one of my long standing theories. People with the last name White are usually black and people with the last name Black are usually white.
(3) Selita Ebanks over (14) Amber Rose (Kanye’s ex girlfriend with the shaved head)- Two good looking black girls and I have to go with the one with hair.
(7) Adriana Lima over (10) Daisy Lowe- Lima used to date Derek Jeter and is now married to former NBA player Marko Jaric.
(2) Miranda Kerr over (15) Joan Smalls- Miranda Kerr is apparently one of the hot names in fashion because her name sounds vaguely familiar to me. Oh, and she’s hot.
Second Round
(8) Bar Rafaeli over (1) Brooklyn Decker- My cousin who will not be named is a big seller on Brooklyn Decker. Mainly for this picture. I’m not, but I’m a big buyer on Bar Rafaeli. If she’s good enough for Leonardo DiCaprio she’s good enough for me.
(4) Irina Shayk over (12) Gisele Bundchen- 1.) Fuck Tom Brady. And 2.) I saw Shayk on Letterman and not only was she absurdly hot she was also pretty funny.
(6) Izabel Goulart over (3) Selita Banks- She’s Brazilian, but could easily pass for an American. I dig that about her.
(7) Adriana Lima over (2) Miranda Kerr- Kerr is sexy, but I just don’t think she’s on Lima’s level just yet.
Regional Semi-Finals
(4) Irina Shayk over (8) Bar Rafaeli- As much as I love Leo, Shayk dates superstar soccer player Christiano Ronaldo, who’s arguably the most wanted man in the world.
(6) Izabel Goulart over (7) Adriana Lima- She’s one of Conan’s favorite guests and she’s also appeared on both Two And A Half Men and Entourage.
Regional Finals
(6) Izabel Goulart over (4) Irina Shayk- She has the sexiest eyes in the field…and I’m an eyes guy. Oh and Shayk doesn’t shave her legs.
Music & Sports (bottom right)
First Round
(1) Katy Perry over (16) Elin Nordegren- I don’t think Katy Perry is worthy of a #1 seed, but she’s sexier than Tiger’s ex-wife, who we haven’t seen for over a year.
(9) Caroline Wozniacki over (8) Maria Sharapova- One of my favorite first round matchups. I’ll take Wozniacki because she’s the better tennis player, she’s not taller than me (Sharapova is 6’2), and she’s not married to Sasha Vujacic.
(12) Cheryl Cole over (5) Taylor Swift- Taylor is unquestionably more talented and becoming sexier by the day (seemingly out of nowhere), but Cheryl Cole is hot.
(4) Erin Andrews over(13) Jenn Brown- You don’t even know hard this one is for me. Ask anyone that I work with and they’ll tell you that Jenn Brown is my girl, but she just can’t hang with EA.
(6) Stacy Kiebler over (11) Arianny Celeste- Kiebler has legs for days and WWE experience. Better luck next year Arianny.
(3) Beyonce over (14) Gwyneth Paltrow- This is the biggest rout in the entire tournament.
(7) Nicki Minaj over (10) Ines Sainz- Sainz wore a wedding dress to media day at the Superbowl and asked Tom Brady to marry and also complained that the Jets objectified her in the locker room. Bottom line- She’s annoying. Nicki Minaj, on the other hand, is hot and you get the sense that she doesn’t even care.
(1) Katy Perry over (9) Caroline Wozniacki- Wozniacki is more pretty and innocent than sexy. Katy Perry has fireworks coming out of her breasts.
(4) Erin Andrews over (12) Cheryl Cole- Peephole video, anyone?
(3) Beyonce over (6) Stacy Kiebler- Beyonce is so out of control sexy that she made this Vizio commercial hot .
(2) Rihanna over (7) Nicki Minaj- Believe it or not I actually had this debate with 3-4 friends one day in January. The vote was pretty split, but I went with Rihanna.
Regional Semi-Finals
(4) Erin Andrews over (1) Katy Perry- Katy Perry tries to hard to be sexy. EA is sexy just by being herself. The whole working in sports thing helps her out quite a bit.
(3) Beyonce over (2) Rihanna- Speaking of sexy commercials. This one was banned in England.
Regional Finals
(3) Beyonce over Erin Andrews- What’s weird about Beyonce is that it’s almost like she’s getting hotter by the day. For example, I think her career low in sexiness was when she was in Austin Powers: Goldmember. Now she just exudes sex wherever she goes. Ever since the peephole thing and dating her Dancing With The Stars partner Erin Andrews has sort of had to scale it back a bit to maintain what’s left of her wholesome image.
Movies (Top Right)
First Round
(1) Mila Kunis over (16) Russell Brand- Did anyone laugh when they saw that Russell Brand made the tournament? Me either.
(9) Kristen Bell over (8) Jessica Alba- Jessica Alba probably would have won this tournament if it was held back in 2003, but she’s a mother now and she just looks more mature and reserved. I also want to give Kristen Bell some love for her role on one of the funniest and least known shows on TV Party Down, which is on Starz.
(12) Jennifer Lawrence over (5) Natalie Portman- Unfortunate timing for Portman. If this tournament was held 5 months ago I think she would have won. Now though, I just can’t find it within me to send a pregnant woman into the second round.
(13) Zoe Saldana over (4) Ashley Greene- Ashley Greene is very pretty, but Zoe Saldana made a big, blue avatar sexy.
(11) Anne Hathaway over (6) Gwyneth Paltrow- I still haven’t seen Love and Other Drugs, but apparently Anne Hathaway is naked for essentially the entire movie. I also don’t find Gwyneth Paltrow sexy in any way.
(3) Penelope Cruz over (14) Amanda Seyfried- Amanda Seyfried is a whacko with bug eyes and Penelope Cruz is a spicy latina.
(10) Megan Fox over (7) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley- You don’t know who Rosie Huntington-Whitely is? Yeah, I didn’t either. Apparently Esquire was getting cute because she’s taking over Megan Fox’s role in the Transformers saga.
(2) Olivia Wilde over (15) Amber Heard- Olivia Wilde is all the buzz right now, but I honestly couldn’t tell you where she’s from or what she’s on. All I know is that after looking through her pictures she’s one of a very small group of women that can pull of any color hair and still be absolutely gorgeous.
Second Round
(1) Mila Kunis over (9) Kristen Bell- She was by far the sexier of the two in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
(12) Jennifer Lawrence over (13) Zoe Saldana- Umm did you see her at the Oscars?
(3)Penelope Cruz over (11) Anne Hathaway- She had a mental breakdown a few years back which just tells you that she’s absolutely wild in bed.
(10) Megan Fox over (2) Olivia Wilde- As overrated as she’s probably become, she’s still really hot.
Regional Semi-Finals
(1) Mila Kunis over (12) Jennifer Lawrence- She finally broke up with Macaulay Culkin which was the only thing holding her back.
(3) Penelope Cruz over (10) Megan Fox- Just look how great Penelope Cruz looked roughly one month after giving birth.
Regional Finals
(1) Mila Kunis over (3) Penelope Cruz- There’s just a mystique around Mila right now that’s hard to describe. Her sex scene with Natalie Portman in Black Swan certainly helps her case as well.
Television (Bottom Right)
(1) Sofia Vergara over (16) Hoda & Kathie Lee- Should I know who Hoda is?
(8) Those girls on Glee over (9) Grace Park- The girls from Glee are really hot. This team can do some serious damage.
(12) Sarah Shahi over (5) Jennifer Lopez- It’s not 1999 anymore J Lo.
(4) January Jones over (13) Jessica Pare- Betty Draper you little minx, you.
(6) Emmy Rossum over (11) Kendra Wilkinson- If you don’t watch the show Shameless on Showtime you are borderline missing out. Emmy Rossum wears zero makeup and is unbelievably attractive.
(14) Lana from Archer over (3) Christina Hendricks- Christina Hendricks has nice curves. I wont dispute that. She is, however, vastly overrated. She’s pale and deceptively old (turns 36 in May). Lana from Archer is actually the very good looking black girl who used to host Talk Soup on E!. Her real name is Aisha Tyler.
(7) Padma Lakshmi over (10) Katrina Bowden- Padmi is a bona fide sex symbol. I’ve never heard of this Katrina Bowden chick.
(2) Kim Kardashian over (15) Bristol Palin- Seriously?
Second Round
(8) Those girls on Glee over (1) Sofia Vergara- Don’t get me wrong I love Gloria on Modern Family, but the quantity of high quality hot chicks on Glee is tough for one woman to compete with.
(4) January Jones over (12) Sarah Shahi- She’s the best part of the month.
(6) Emmy Rossum over (14) Lana from Archer- Did I mention that she gets naked on Shameless roughly every other episode?
(7) Padma Lakshmi over (2) Kim Kardashian- Classy versus trashy.
Regional Semi-finals
(8) Those girls from Glee over (4) January Jones- January Jones is almost hot enough to take down 4 hot girls, but I can’t stand her character on Mad Men.
(7) Padma Lakshmi over (6) Emmy Rossum- Padma was rocking a bikini on last night’s episode of Top Chef and she looked unreal.
Regional Finals
(7) Padma Lakshmi over (8) Those girls from Glee- She might be the sexiest 40 year old on the planet.
Final Four
(6) Izabel Goulart over (3) Beyonce- Probably the top 2, but I’ll take the former Victoria’s Secret Angel who's also 3 years younger.
(7) Padma Lakshmi over (1) Mila Kunis- Not only is she a former model, but she’s also an amazing cook.
Finals (6) Izabel Goulart over (7) Padma Lakshmi- I admittedly hardly knew who she was until a few minutes ago, but to me she’s the sexiest woman of them all.
In case you haven't noticed, the regular season in college basketball is rather meaningless. Games don't have enough importance to get casual fans to pay attention. There's just no urgency. One of the drawbacks of college basketball is that there's too much turnover. The best players don't stay in school long enough for fans to familiarize themselves with them. This constant influx of new, top tier talent makes the sport a bit difficult to follow. That said, there is a phenomenon in college basketball that I don't think has been appropriately named.
As the casual basketball fans start to watch more games in the next few weeks they will notice players that they remember from last year and maybe even the year before that. Every once in a while, though, they will feel as if they remember a player from what seems like a decade ago. Some players, for whatever reason, just seem like they've been at the same school for 5-7 years. The poster child for this phenomenon, in my eyes anyway, is former Michigan State center Paul Davis.
Throughout the course of Davis' college career at Michigan State (2002-06) he played with the likes of Aloysious Anagonye (who played on the 2000 National Championship team with Mateen Cleaves, Morris Peterson, etc.), Chris Hill, Kevin Torbert, Alan Anderson, Maurice Ager, Drew Neitzel, Shannon Brown, Travis Walton, and Goran Suton (who was the starting center on the 2009 team that lost in the finals to North Carolina). These names should remind most college basketball fans of a number of different Michigan State teams. Knowing that Davis played with all of them, to me, is mind blowing. Seemingly there's no explanation for this phenomenon, but I think that there are actually plenty of factors at play here.
- These players are usually good, but not great. They are regionally known, but largely an afterthought nationally.
- This sort of ties in with the first factor, but these players are usually both easily forgettable and easily memorable.
- The players that come to mind first are usually white, but white players only make up roughly half of the entire pool of players that qualify.
- These players usually go it alone. By that I mean that there isn't another notable player from their recruiting class that's still at the school. Due to this rule, players like Chris Wright and Austin Freeman don't qualify. Another example would be Andre Barrett, who seemed like he was at Seton Hall for 8 years, even though fellow classmate Eddie Griffin left early. Barrett isn't eligible because Marcus Toney-El was also a member of that recruiting class and a four year starter.
- These players are usually former starters that for some reason or another get relegated to the bench (ex- Greg Paulus).
- A number of these players have been granted another year of eligibility, or simply missed a significant amount of time, due to an injury.
-A select few qualify even after only 3 years in college. (ex- Casey Jacobsen)
Official definition
The Paul Davis Theory refers to a men's college basketball player that seems to have been playing at their given school for upwards of 5 seasons. They are good, but not great players who are both memorable and forgettable at the same time. Their perceived longer than normal stay in college is usually due to an extra year of eligibilty because of an injury after they have established themselves.
Players that have qualified for The Paul Davis Theory (I'm sure I left off dozens, if not hundreds, of others)
-Jeff Adrien, Connecticut-
-Rashad Anderson, Connecticut-
-Jonathan Brockman, Washington-
-Brian Butch, Wisconsin-
-Ed Cota, North Carolina-
-Paul Davis, Michigan State-
-Travis Diener, Marquette-
-Joey Dorsey, Memphis-
-Chris Duhon, Duke-
-Jason Gardner, Arizona-
-Ryan Gomes, Providence-
-A.J. Guyton, Indiana-
-Luke Harangody, Notre Dame-
-Casey Jacobsen, Stanford-
-Jason Kapono, UCLA-
-Brandon Knight, Pittsburgh-
-Sasha Kaun, Kansas-
-Raef LaFrentz, Kansas-
-Chris Lofton, Tennessee-
-Gerry McNamara, Syracuse-
-Steve Novak, Marquette-
-Greg Paulus, Duke-
-Terrence Oglesby, Clemson-
-Andy Rautins, Syracuse-
-Scottie Reynolds, Villanova-
-Ty Shine, Seton Hall-
-Craig Smith, Boston College-
-Darius Songaila, Wake Forest-
-Edgar Sosa, Louisville-
-Chris Thomas, Notre Dame-
-Jake Voskuhl, Connecticut-
My 2011 nominees for The Paul Davis Theory
-Joe Mazzulla, West Virgina point guard-
Mazzulla was instrumental in West Virginia's (10) over (2) upset of Duke in the 2008 NCAA Tournament. Seven games into the following season (his junior year) he fractured the growth plate in his left shoulder and missed the remainder of the season, but was given a medical red shirt. Last season he came off the bench as Da'Sean Butler, Devin Ebanks, and Daryl "Truck" Bryant stole the Mountaineer headlines. This year he's back again and until about two weeks ago, I had no idea.
-Brady Morningstar, Kansas shooting guard-
Morningstar played as a freshman in 2006-07, but then redshirted in '07-'08 when Kansas won the national championship. He then started every game and was second on the team in minutes played in '08-'09. Last season, though, Morningstar was relegated to the bench. This year he's back in the starting lineup on most nights (even when Tyshawn Taylor and Josh Selby are both playing), but until about a month ago I had no clue that he was back for another go round.
An early nominee for 2012
-Robbie Hummel, Purdue forward-
Hummel led the Boilermakers in rebounding and was second on the team in scoring as a freshman in 2007-08. He was then named the Big Ten Preseason Player of the Year heading into his sophomore year, but he had a disappointing year (only 3rd on the team in scoring), but he was a team captain. As a junior he averaged 15.7 points and 6.9 rebounds per game for a Purdue team that at one point in the year was ranked #3 in the nation. Unfortunately Hummel tore his ACL last February and missed the remainder of his junior campaign. Many thought that Hummel might forgo his senior year and enter his name into the NBA Draft, but he returned, rehabbed and was ready to go for his senior year, but tore the same ACL in an October practice. He has missed this entire year, but will be back for a 5th year next season.
Seeing that March is almost here I'd say it's time to get ready to fill out some brackets. The NCAA's men's basketball brackets will be unveiled in less than two weeks, so if you want to win your office pool you better get some practice in. That said, last year I constructed a 64 team tournament of Seinfeld characters after my brother sent me an email where someone else did the same (I didn't like what they had, so I did my best to improve upon their idea). Well this year I caught wind of a different 64 team bracket. One of the radio shows where I work (The Herd with Colin Cowherd) is doing a 64 team bracket of rock bands. As they were spitballing ideas for what bands would make the cut, what seed different bands should be, etc. I figured I would just put together a bracket of my own.
Some of their criteria that I will also use:
Only bands from The Beatles on will be considered. Also, solo acts will not be eligible. This means no Elvis, no Michael Jackson, no Billy Joel, and no Bruce Sprinsteen. I also did my best to avoid 2 man bands.
Other factors considered:
Popularity- How well received during your time? How many Top 10 hits did you have? How many of your albums went platinum? Did you cross the threshold and become a pop rock band? Creativity- Did you bring something new to the table or were you a copy cat band? How influential was your music to future bands? Did your lyrics actually mean something? Longevity- How long did you stay on top? Or better yet, how long did you remain relevant? How many albums did you release? Legacy- When the name of your band is said aloud what comes to mind? Does your music stand the test of time? Are you in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Would an average fan of rock music identify 3-5 of your most well known songs? Intangibles- How many of the rock band stereotypes did your band meet? How many “incidents” did your band encounter? How many band members have died due to excessive drug/alcohol use?
It should also be noted that my own personal biases factored in heavily. This means that I probably left about 10-20 bands out that more than deserved a chance to compete for the title. For that I apologize. I don't consider myself to be any sort of authority on rock and roll music. In fact, I am the complete opposite.
And now for the bracket...
The Shampoo Effect's format isn't exactly conducive for a bracket, so I'll do my best to use visual clues.
The New York City Region (if you're looking at a bracket this region would be on the top left of your page)
(1) The Beatles (16) Blink-182
(8) Journey (9) Stone Temple Pilots
(5) Aerosmith (12) Rage Against the Machine
(4) Green Day (13) Styx
(6) Lynyrd Skynrd (11) The Foo Fighters
(3) Metallica (14) The White Stripes
(7) Genesis (10) The Cars
(2) The Who (15) Twisted Sister
Los Angeles Region (bottom left)
(1) U2 (16) Our Lady Peace
(8) Bon Jovi (9) Earth, Wind, and Fire
(5) Rush (12) O.A.R.
(4) The Police (13) Smashing Pumpkins
(6) The Clash (11) Third Eye Blind
(3) Queen (14) Duran Duran
(7) Foriegner (10) The Velvet Undergound
(2) Pink Floyd (15) The Roots
London Region (top right)
(1) The Rolling Stones (16) Vampire Weekend
(8) R.E.M. (9) Black Sabbath
(5) The Doors (12) Incubus
(4) Red Hot Chili Peppers (13) Collective Soul
(6) The Grateful Dead (11) Motley Crue
(3) Nirvana (14) The B-52’s
(7) Boston (10) KISS
(2) The Eagles (15) Quiet Riot
Seattle Region (bottom right)
(1) Led Zeppelin (16) The Killers
(8) CCR (9) Judas Priest
(5) The Ramones (12) Dave Matthews Band
(4) Guns n’ Roses (13) Weezer
(6) Pearl Jam (11) Poison
(3) AC/DC (14) Oasis
(7) Def Leppard (10) Radiohead
(2) Van Halen (15) Arcade Fire
So there's the empty bracket. If you want to fill one out, but don't want to be skewed by my picks, then do so now. I'll wait.....
OK, here are my region by region picks, which are then followed by my picks for the Final Four and Finals. Brace yourselves for an abundance of terrible puns. It's what I do.
New York City Region
First Round
(1) The Beatles over (16) Blink-182- Not only is this the most lopsided matchup in the entire tournament, but I was once kicked out of a Blink-182 concert, so fuck them.
(8) Journey over (9) Stone Temple Pilots- As much as I'd like to use the STP abbreviation on my bracket "The Wheels in the Sky" keep turning.
(12) Rage Against The Machine over (5) Aerosmith- The best part about Aerosmith is the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at Disney World. They're just a little too much of a pop rock band for my liking. "Killing in the Name", "Calm Like a Bomb", and "Guerilla Radio" are much more my style.
(4) Green Day over (13) Styx- Green Day takes a "Dookie" on Styx, even though they have a few very good songs.
(6) Lynyrd Skynyrd over (11) The Foo Fighters- I've been a huge Foo Fighters fan ever since my brother played "My Hero" and "Everlong" in his room every morning before we went to school, but Skynyrd is the total package. A unique sound, band member deaths, and longevity.
(3) Metallica over (14) The White Stripes- The White Stripes backed into the tournament in that they broke up a few weeks ago and the Sandman came for them in the first round.
(10) The Cars over (7) Genesis- Unfortunately for Phil Collins & Company the "Invisible Touch" just isn't enough. Let the "Good Times Roll".
(2) The Who over (15) Twisted Sister- This rout was so out of hand that Twister Sister didn't even come out for the second half, saying, "We're Not Going to Take it" anymore.
Second Round
(1) The Beatles over (8) Journey- These teams are clearly going "Separate Ways", but it's official. You can stop believing.
(4) Green Day over (12) Rage Against The Machine- I own four Green Day albums and only know of about four Rage Against The Machine songs. That said, I'm kicking myself for not including Audioslave in the field of 64.
(6) Lynyrd Skynyrd over (3) Metallica- Who's song is playing at the end of Happy Gilmore? Oh, that's right. It's "Tuesday's Gone" by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
(2) The Who over (10) The Cars- This is the complete opposite of what The Cars needed.
Regional Semi-Finals
(4) Green Day over (1) The Beatles- The Beatles remind me a lot of a typical Duke team. A lot of really good players (songs), but no superstar (signature song). Also they strike me as more of a pop band than a rock band.
(2) The Who over (6) Lynyrd Skynyrd- "I Can't Explain" it, but The Who are a title contender.
Regional Finals
(2) The Who over (4) Green Day- Hop on board the "Magic Bus" because it's going to the Final Four.
Los Angeles Region
First Round
(1) U2 over (16) Our Lady Peace- OLP can't hang with U2's "Elevation".
(8) Bon Jovi over (9) Earth, Wind, and Fire- Plain and simple, this one's a "Runaway".
(4) The Police over (13) Smashing Pumpkins- The Smashing Pumpkins were begging for the red light because everything The Police did in this game was magic.
(6) The Clash over (11) Third Eye Blind- I love me some Third Eye Blind, but they really only had one good album. In essence, they "Fought the Law" and the Law won.
(3) Queen over (14) Duran Duran- Duran Duran may have been "Hungry Like the Wolf", but Queen wanted to break free, and they did.
(7) Def Leppard over (10) The Velvet Underground- Andy Warhol's pals are left in a state of "Hysteria" after Def Leppard gets through with them.
(2) Pink Floyd over (15) The Roots- I gotta give The Roots some love, especially because they jammed out at the whitest school in America during my freshman year of college. Plus they're Jimmy Fallon's house band and that's my favorite late night show going. Unfortunately they ran into "The Wall" in round one.
Second Round
(1) U2 over (8) Bon Jovi- They were "Living On a Prayer", but it wasn't answered.
(5) Rush over (4)The Police- This team just loves the "Limelight".
(3) Queen over (6) The Clash- The Clash are clearly intimidated by Queen's "We Will Rock You".
(7) Def Leppard over (2) Pink Floyd- The "Animal" in Def Leppard got loose leaving Pink Floyd "Comfortably Numb".
Regional Semi-Finals
(1) U2 over (5) Rush- Rush can't quite hang in "The City of Blinding Lights".
(7) Def Leppard over (3) Queen- Queen's quest to sing their own song ("We Are the Champions") after cutting down the nets ends in bitter defeat.
Regional Finals
(1) U2 over (7) Def Leppard- U2 just has too much "Pride" and "Desire" for the British rockers.
London Region
First Round
(1) The Rolling Stones over (16)Vampire Weekend- Vampires or not, they don't have any "Sympathy For The Devil".
(9) Black Sabbath over (8) R.E.M.- No one brings the kind of intensity that Sabbath does. R.E.M. loses more than their religion in this one.
(5) The Doors over (12) Incubus- A real close one, but when push came to shove I had to go with the "Riders on the Storm".
(4) Red Hot Chili Peppers over (13) Collective Soul- RHCP throws Collective Soul (a sneaky talented band) "Under the Bridge".
(11) Motley Crue over (6) The Grateful Dead- Not only can I not name a single Grateful Dead song, but Motley Crue has to be the quintessential rock band out there. Just booze, drugs, and concert "incidents" galore.
(3) Nirvana over (14)The B-52's- Smells like... a rocked lobster. (please tell me someone got that dual reference).
(10) KISS over (7) Boston- "Rock and Roll Band" versus "Rock and Roll All Nite"? I'll take the latter.
(2) The Eagles over (15) Quiet Riot- The title of Quiet Riot's most well known song is literally spelled, "Cum On Feel the Noize." That's almost trying a little too much for intangible points. The Eagles roll.
Second Round
(1) The Rolling Stones over (9) Black Sabbath- Ozzy and the gang cry "Gimme Shelter" as The Stones paint them black.
(4) Red Hot Chili Peppers over (5) The Doors- The Doors can't light their fire and RHCP "Can't Stop" scoring.
(3) Nirvana over (11) Motley Crue- "Dr. Feelgood" needs to prescribe himself some "Lithium".
(2) The Eagles over (10) KISS- KISS just can't handle "Life in the Fast Lane".
Regional Semi-Finals
(1) The Rolling Stones over (4) Red Hot Chili Peppers- The Stones get under the thumb of RHCP and tear away at their "Scar Tissue".
(2) The Eagles over (3) Nirvana- Nirvana comes as they are and The Eagles refuse to "Take it Easy" on them.
Regional Finals
(1) The Rolling Stone over (2) The Eagles- The Eagles "Take it to the Limit", but The Stones abuse them like a "Beast of Burden".
Seattle Region
First Round
(1) Led Zeppelin over (16) The Killers- Listen to the first 5 seconds of "Kashmir" and tell me if The Killers even deserve to be on the same court as Led Zeppelin.
(8) CCR over (9) Judas Priest- Judas Priest has another thing coming because this CCR team is a "Bad Moon Rising".
(5) The Ramones over (12) Dave Matthews Band- I've seen the Dave Matthew Band in concert 5-7 times, but I've been to countless professional baseball games and "Blitzkieg Bop" can be heard almost every single time. The fathers of punk rock roll on.
(4) Guns n' Roses over (13) Weezer- "Welcome to the Jungle" Weezer. Better luck next year.
(6) Pearl Jam over (11) Poison- "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" indeed. Get well soon Brett Michaels, but you're not getting past the "Better Man" Eddie Vedder.
(14) Oasis over (3) AC/DC- As much as it pains me to say, this one has shades of (14) Vermont taking down (3) Syracuse in 2005. Two above average players, Taylor Coppenrath and T.J. Sorrentine ("Wonderwall" and "Champagne Supernova") take down a much more talented team.
(7) Foreigner over (10) Radiohead- "Creep" is a great song (just ask TLC), but it's no "I Want To Know What Love Is".
(2) Van Halen over (15) Arcade Fire- No Van Halen album has ever won a Grammy, but they're in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Talk to me in 20 years Arcade Fire.
Second Round
(1) Led Zeppelin over (8) CCR- CCR makes a valiant run, but they can't quite get over the "Misty Mountain Top".
(4) Guns n' Roses over (5) The Ramones- One of the toughest calls yet, but "Sweet Child o' Mine" is the best song in the matchup.
(6) Pearl Jam over (14 Oasis- The "next Beatles" were essentially a two hit wonder. Pearl Jam rolls on.
(7) Foreigner over (2) Van Halen- I've long said that I'd love to see Van Halen in concert, but while they "Ain't Talking About Love" Foreigner is with "Feels Like the First Time".
Regional Semi-Finals
(4) Guns n' Roses over (1) Led Zeppelin- There's no doubt that Zeppelin has produced more great music and is more talented, but they simply had a "Communication Breakdown" against Axl Rose and the boys.
(7) Foreigner over (6) Pearl Jam- The "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town" isn't stopping these jukebox heroes.
Regional Finals
(4) Guns n' Roses over (7) Foreigner- Everyone's favorite Cinderella was just "Cold as Ice" when it mattered most.
Final Four
(2) The Who over (1) U2)- U2 thought they had a good gameplan, but they just couldn't find what they were looking for.
(1) The Rolling Stones over (4) Guns n' Roses- This team won't be satisfied with any less than a championship.
Finals
(2) The Who over (1) The Rolling Stones- A buddy of mine who strums his guitar more than he...strums his guitar recently told me that "We Won't Get Fooled Again" is the greatest rock song of all time. Couple that with "Baba O'Riley" and "My Generation" and The Who takes the title.
The year in film will be celebrated this Sunday night as the 83rd annual Academy Awards will be held in Los Angeles. That means that I'm running out of time for my annual Oscars preview/prediction post. For those keeping track at home (me) I am 10 for 11 in my Oscar predictions. Last year all the buzz was centered around the James Cameron(Avatar)/Kathyrn Bigelow(The Hurt Locker) competition for Best Picture and Best Director. Bigelow, Cameron's 3rd wife, bested her former beau in both categories and became the first woman ever to win Best Director. This year there is no self made rivalry, but the Best Picture race is seemingly again down to two. This year's frontrunners are both based on true events. The leader in the clubhouse seems to be The King's Speech which tells the tale of King George VI overcoming his stammer thanks to his unlicensed speech therapist. The film took home top honors at the Screen Actors Guild Awards in late January. The likeliest film to unseat The King's Speech for Best Picture is The Social Network which (loosely) recounts the origination of the social networking behemoth Facebook. Word on the street is that there will be a much younger feel to the awards this year. Much of this is probably just speculation based on the hosts of this year's festivities: James Franco and Anne Hathaway.
With that all said, it's time to hand out the hardware. Last year I had only seen 3 of the 10 movies nominated for Best Picture before the awards. I went 6 for 6 in my predictions. This year I've seen 9 of the 10 movies nominated for Best Picture. I'm not sure if I can go 6 for 6 again (I'm only unsure of my Best Picture pick). Let's give it a shot either way.
This film is both physically and emotionally painful to watch, but it's also very good. Good enough to win? Probably not. My brother Pat characterized it in three words, "it's fucked up".
My favorite film of the year because it was real (based on a true story). Boxing movies have been produced ad nauseum over the last 30 years, but this one was less about the actual boxing and more about family, fame, making your own decisions, blind loyalty, and overcoming hardships at every turn.
An intriguing mind thriller that starred the best in the business (Leonardo DiCaprio) and sparked more cooler talk conversations than any other movie in recent memory.
A lesbian couple each has a child from the same sperm donor and when the kids grow up and meet the their biological father he briefly becomes a part of their life. Misleading title?
The only one of the ten that I have yet to see. That should tell you that my expectations aren't too high. James Franco plays a man who gets stuck in-between a rock and a hard place (literally) for 5 and a half days. I've heard good things, but it has zero chance of winning.
The story of how Facebook was formed. Although many would contend that much of the film is inaccurate it has the potential to be the most influential movie of the year because of the ever growing popularity of the social networking site.
A borderline touching tale of growing up, moving on, and discovering new ways to be happy. Absolutely tremendous for an animated film. PS- Yes, I work for Disney.
Surprisingly this is not just a token nomination because it was directed by the Coen brothers. A 14-year old in late 19th century Arkansas is out to avenge her father's murder, so she hires a grizzly, old U.S. Marshall to track down the killer.
A 17-year old girl who's raising her younger brother and sister because her mother is a wacko (sits around in the house all day) has to prove that her father is dead in order to retain their family's home and land. Bring a pillow.
What movie should win? The Fighter
What movie will win? The Social Network
Best Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem in Biutiful- I just watched the trailer for this movie and I have no idea what it's about. All I know is that Bardem was a bit of a surprise nominee. Many thought that Ryan Gosling would pick up the 5th nomination for his role in Blue Valentine. Bottom line, Bardem isn't going to win, but he did just father a child with Penelope Cruz, so at least he's got that to celebrate.
Jeff Bridges in True Grit- If he were to take home the hardware he'd become the 10th two time winner and the 3rd to win the award in back to back years (Spencer Tracy 1937-38 and Tom Hanks 1993-94).
Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network- Mark Zuckerberg may have invented the most influential social medium to date, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a big douche.
Colin Firth in The King's Speech- How Firth was able to deliver this constant stammer is nothing short of remarkable. At first I took it for granted, but thinking back it's award winning stuff.
James Franco in 127 Hours- No host has ever won an award of any kind, so Franco's chances aren't looking too good. He definitely railed Anne Hathaway though, so he got that going for him.
Which actor should win? Colin Firth in The King's Speech
Which actor will win? Colin Firth in The King's Speech
Best Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Bening in The Kids Are All Right- Bening plays a lesbian mother who is particularly perturbed by the emergence of the sperm donor in her children's lives. She was good and probably has the best shot at unseating the presumptive winner Portman, but Julianne Moore, who played her partner, was pretty darn good too.
Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole- Apparently she's a really good actress (this is her 3rd Best Actress nomination, she won in 2002 for her role in The Hours), but I'm on the fence as to whether or not she's hot. Call me crazy, but I'm going with not.
Jennifer Lawrence in Winter's Bone- She's 20 and she's a babe, but she's not going to win. Not for nothing she becomes the first ever Best Actress nominee born in the '90's.
Natalie Portman in Black Swan- Portman plays a veteran ballerina cast to play the lead role in Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake in which she has to exhibit two different personas. She dives head first into the role and soon becomes bruised and battered both physically and emotionally. Not only is she an almost certainty to win, but she's engaged and pregnant with the choreographer's baby.
Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine- Her ex-fiance Heath Ledger posthumously won an Oscar in 2009 for Best Supporting Actor, so if she wins on Sunday then their child would almost certainly be destined for greatness…or a drug overdose.
Which actress should win? Natalie Portman in Black Swan
Which actress will win? Natalie Portman in Black Swan
Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale in The Fighter- Bale is scary good in this film. Not only did he lose 35+ pounds for the role. He also has a better Boston accent than Mark Wahlberg and Bale is English. Also, the brother of the man he portrays has said that Bale is more Dicky than Dicky. I'm not sure if I've ever seen a better supporting performance in my life.
John Hawkes in Winter's Bone- Who would ever have thought that Kenny Powers' brother would be nominated for an Academy Award?
Jeremy Renner in The Town- The star of last year's Best Picture winner is the only nominee from the latest Ben Affleck joint. The Town is very entertaining, but I'd have to say that it's also a little overrated. And you know how much I love Affleck.
Mark Ruffalo in The Kids Are All Right- Ruffalo plays a sperm donor who is tracked down by his biological children. Over the course of a summer he becomes a significant figure in their lives, as well as the lives of their moms, but he eventually lets them down.
Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech- If not for Christian Bale's once in a lifetime performance this would be Rush's award to lose.
Which actor should win? Christian Bale in The Fighter and Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech
Which actor will win? Christian Bale in The Fighter
Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams in The Fighter- I love Amy Adams and I loved The Fighter, but I didn't think that she was that great in it.
Helena Bonham Carter in The King's Speech- I haven't seen her since Fight Club, so it was nice to know that she's still in the game, but I also recently found out that she's married to Tim Burton which is a little lot weird to me.
Melissa Leo in The Fighter- She plays the mother-manager-matriarch of a boxing family in Massachusetts. She is both stubborn and destructive as she clearly favors one son to another while trying to convince the son she favors less to see things her way. She should win this award easily.
Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit- 1.) She was the protagonist/lead actress. Literally on the screen for 98% of the film. There's no way that you could convince me that she was in any way a "supporting actress". 2.) She's 14 years old. Grow up Peter Pan.
Jacki Weaver in Animal Kingdom- I knew that the Disney Theme Park was just a movie set and that the tigers and lions on the safari ride were fake. You can't fool me Mom and Dad.
Which actress should win? Melissa Leo in The Fighter
Which actress will win? Melissa Leo in The Fighter
Last year I also previewed and predicted the Best Director winner because of the James Cameron/Katherine Bigelow sub-plot. Well I successfully predicted that Bigelow would win, so let's ride the momentum and try to go for two in a row.
Best Director (otherwise known as the 5 movies that would have been nominated for Best Picture if the Academy didn't expand to 10 only because The Dark Knight was snubbed in 2008)
Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan- I think he should win going away for this reason and this reason alone. He puts the audience in the mind of the protagonist. We feel and experience virtually everything that Natalie Portman's character does. There's this overriding, palpable sense of tension hanging in the balance throughout the entire film. When she pulls skin off her own back we wince in pain, when she becomes delusional we are confused, and when she finally experiences her release we do as well.
David O. Russell for The Fighter- I gotta give it up to Russell for the way he intertwined the fight scenes with other moments that were key in plot development. My favorite scene of the year in any film (outside of the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis sex scene) is when Dicky is in jail talking to his mother on the phone while Mickey is getting his ass kicked in a fight.
Tom Hooper for The King's Speech- Apparently this movie was filmed on a gay porn set, so let's hope that Hooper doesn't win.
David Fincher for The Social Network- I think the star of the film is really Aaron Sorkin's screenplay filled with its incendiary dialogue, but Fincher is going to get a lot of love for the way he told the story visually both inside and outside the board room.
Joel and Ethan Coen for True Grit- Plain and simple, The Academy has a raging hard on for the Coen brothers.
Darren Aronofsky
Which director should win? Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan
Which director will win? David Fincher for The Social Network
I may be in the minority on this, but I don't believe in superstitions, cosmic forces (I'm looking at you zodiac signs), or curses. If something is going to happen then it's going to happen. I don't think you can attribute it to anything other than circumstance.
That said, the notion of curses are rather commonplace in my world. For example, when the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 it was said that they "reversed the curse of the Bambino." Many also believe that the Chicago Cubs, who haven't won the World Series since 1908, are suffering from the "Curse of the Billy Goat."
There's also the "Madden Curse", or the notion that being featured on the cover of the popular NFL video game will bring a player bad fortune (usually by way of injury) for that season. The evidence certainly makes you wonder.
2002- Daunte Culpepper- He would go on to throw 23 INT’s and break the NFL record for fumbles in a season that year.
2003-Marshall Faulk- Knee injuries caused Faulk to miss 11 games over the next 2 seasons.
2004-Michael Vick- Vick broke his leg in the pre-season and missed 11 games in 2004.
2005-Ray Lewis- Lewis missed the last 3 games of the year with a wrist injury and also failed to record an INT for the first time in his career.
2006-Donovan McNabb- The former Syracuse star tore his ACL halfway through the 2006 season.
2007- Shaun Alexander- Alexander wound up missing 6 games with a foot injury in 2007.
2008-Vince Young- Young injured his knee in Week 1 and eventually lost his starting job to washed up veteran Kerry Collins. For the season Young completed 22 of 36 passes for 219 yards over the course of 3 games.
2009- Brett Favre- Favre led the NFL with 22 INT’s in 2009. He also texted pictures of his phallus to a Jets employee that year.
2010- Troy Polamalu/Larry Fitzgerald- Polamalu missed 4 games with a sprained MCL that he suffered in Week 1 and then missed the remainder of the season after spraining his PCL in Week 10.
Another sports related phenomenon is the surprising number of NBA coaches that have been fired shortly after winning the Coach of the Year award. The Coach of the Year in 2002 was the Detroit Pistons' Rick Carlisle. He was fired less than a year later on May 30th, 2003. In 2006 the top coaching honor in the NBA went to the Dallas Mavericks' Avery Johnson. On April 30th, 2008 Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said Johnson packing. Ironically Carlisle is the current coach of the Mavs.
In 2007 the Raptors Sam Mitchell was named Coach of the Year. He was fired 18 months later on December 3rd, 2008. The Coach of the Year in 2008 was the New Orleans Hornets Byron Scott. He was canned on November 12th, 2009. Finally, the 2009 recipient of the hardware was a man I met just last week, the Cleveland Cavaliers' Mike Brown. He was fired less than a year later on May 24, 2010. Ironically the current coach of the Cavs is Byron Scott.
Former Cavs coach Mike Brown. A great guy by the way.
Although the instances are too spread out and detailed for me to get into I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention the SI jinx.
Now I tell you all of this because all of the rage right now is centered on the so-called "Oscar Curse". What's the Oscar Curse? Well, 9 of the last 11 women that have won the Academy Award for Best Actress have gone on to get divorced or break up with their long term boyfriend shortly after achieving the ultimate honor in acting. The New York Times economics blog recently ran a story about this phenomenon. They found that the Oscar winner for Best Actress has a 1.68 times greater chance of getting divorced than the women also nominated. There is no such correlation for winners of Best Actor.
1997 (The awards are presented in February/March of the following year)- Helen Hunt in As Good as it Gets- divorced Hank Azaria (the voice of many Simpsons characters) on December 21st, 2000.
1998- Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love- broke up with boyfriend Ben Affleck a few months later in May of 1999.
2000- Julia Roberts in Erin Brokovich- broke up with boyfriend Benjamin Bratt a few months later in June of 2001.
2001- Halle Berry in Monster's Ball- divorced Eric Benet on April 29th, 2004.
2003- Charlize Theron in Monster- this one is a bit of a stretch, but she broke up with long time boyfriend Stuart Townsend in January 2010.
2004- Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby- divorced Chad Lowe on May 26th, 2006.
2005- Reese Witherspoon in Walk the Line- divorced Ryan Phillippe on November 8th, 2006.
2008- Kate Winslet in The Reader- divorced Sam Mendes on March 15th, 2010.
2009- Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side- divorced Jesse James on April 28th, 2010.
So clearly the writing is on the wall for presumptive 2010 winner Natalie Portman, who is recently engaged and preggers. In fact, I would contend that's its not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. Seriously, I'm surprised that 100% of Best Actress winners don't get divorced. Think about it. For the most part all of these women are gorgeous, but for some reason or another they can't make a marriage last. In many of these cases, the husband cheated. Now why on earth would anyone in their right mind ever cheat on let's say Halle Berry?
From an outsider's perpective that's a great question. Most men would say that there is no way that they'd ever cheat on Halle Berry. So why did Eric Benet repeatedly do it? Well clearly Halle Berry is crazy. Listen, we know that all woman are overly dramatic, but winning the award for Best Actress is certification that you are the craziest, most dramatic woman on the earth.
Now that we are in full on Super Bowl detox mode I figured I'd chime in while I still could. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure I will in the coming days, but the tradition every year is for the Super Bowl winning quarterback to answer the question, "Now that you've won the Super Bowl, what are you going to do next?" by saying, "I'm going to go to Disney World." Disney then turns that post game response into a commercial. Here is my man Eli Manning after the Giants beat the Patriots in 2008.
While that is the tradition, here are the Top Ten Things that Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers should have said on Sunday night when asked what he was going to do next...
10.) "Teach Christina Aguilera the words to our national anthem."
9.) "Make sure my wide receivers wash the butter off of their fingers."
8.) "I'm going to Disney World"- Even I can't knock tradition. Plus, I work for Disney.
7.) "Head to the piano bar with a few of my teammates to celebrate."
6.) "Ask you all not to refer to me as A-Rod because I don't want to be confused for that purple-lipped loser."
5.) "Defend my title on Monday Night Raw"
4.) "Take Fergie into a bathroom stall because her body is ridiculous,"
3.) "And then punch her in the face for effectively ruining "Sweet Child o' Mine"
2.)"Put my red cardigan on and return to my neighborhood."
